Litiquette IV

[Scout44]

Busy day today so a quick hitter:

When the "best thing to ever happen to you" happens, do you realize it in the moment?

I don't think I have ever realized it in the moment, maybe that means my "best thing" is still to come? Who knows. I tend to realize the really good things after the fact, like Numi said..hindsight.

 

[LWulf]

When the "best thing to ever happen to you" happens, do you realize it in the moment?

I saw this when it was posted and didn't want to answer it. Now I see others answering and I can answer "why?" to that.

This is a bad question because it asks you to make a metaphorical substantial comparison with something that is insubstantial.

The best ...what?

Okay, my first thought is sex. Real shocker there, eh? The best orgasm? The best orgasm is always the first. Every orgasm thereafter is simply seeking to reattain that first best or get close to it. Now, lets make it a little more tricky...

The best orgasm with someone else? Ahh. Now you have varying comparables. However, is it still concentric or it based on what another brings to the table, so to speak. If it is the former, then the answer would be the same, the first is still the best, but if it is the latter, then you have to look at performance, environment, experience, attitude and a host of other potential variables. In that regard, the "best" can only be assuaged after the fact. But even then, a first will usually outshine all others, because it is the mark that all others will compare to.

In this respect, I'll contest that a man's best orgasm might be different than a woman's, only because women are multi-orgasmic and have different orgasms, while a man is pretty much a one trick pony. It's easier to compare a single orgasm to a single orgasm, opposed to varying types and comparables.

The best orgasm it could be argued is the one you are experiencing RIGHT NOW, because you are experiencing it right now. However, the more you orgasm, the less thrilling it all gets and again, I would contest that the first is always the best.

This analogy can probably be extended to other "bests" as a first desired experience is the most memorable. The first roller coaster, the first time up in a plane, the first sex in a roller coaster, the first sex in a plane, etc, etc. Definitively, you will think consciously or subconsciously "This is the best" in that moment.

The question could be flipped to include the worst. Most would contest that the worst is the one you are experiencing right now. As most people might agree, if you think about it, aren't we all usually saying "this has has got to be the worst (blank) I have ever had!" in the moment.

I COULD contest that a first is usually the most memorable worst to compare to. Unfortunately, the sad fact is, the worst can always get worse. ...worser? This is proven by the saying most people say "This is an all time new low for me."

A better way of explaining my analogies might be regarding life. We are born (physically) once. That is the arguably best thing that can happen to us. However, you can always get more sick to the point of and including death. You can try to rationalize it that a moment in your life feels "best" proving that your life was worthwhile or that "this is what I was born to do!" A moment of clarity that resonates within you, but again, it is something that is compared to a first event.

ahem *steps down off the soapbox*

 

[ChainedUp]

Dude - you win the "Thorough" award.

And vagueness to topics allows for a broader interpretation in replies. Allows all to see the topic for what is relevant for them.

 

[LWulf]

Dude - you win the "over thought it" award.

And vagueness to topics allows for a broader interpretation in replies. Allows all to see the topic for what is relevant for them.

I can't help it, I think about this kind of stuff all the time. Just like I asked J.Michael (and the room at large) "what do you do first? zip then button, or button then zip?" (and if anybody REALLY wants to know, I can tell them about the socks)

Dude - you win the "Thorough" award.

And vagueness to topics allows for a broader interpretation in replies. Allows all to see the topic for what is relevant for them.

That too.

****​

I'll sum up what I was saying with this; When you are in the moment of a personal best, you aren't thinking, you are experiencing and delightfully so. Emotion isn't a thought, it's an experience, therefore you can't think "this is the best!" However, you 'know' something is best in the moment because it is a sheer delight.

 

[SMNaughtywife]

In a few instances I have. But more often then not, it's later on when I realize I've scored big time.

Holy shit balls LWulf - that is some deep thinking right there.
Slaps your ass, good job!

 

[kcRollins]

Busy day today so a quick hitter:

When the "best thing to ever happen to you" happens, do you realize it in the moment?

The best thing to ever happen to me is to wake up every morning healthy and realize how fortunate I am in that moment and be grateful. So, yes, I realize that every morning.

 

[Lord Pmann]

What can I say that hasn't been said already? By LWulf. Literally, what can I say that he hasn't said?

 

[Suz_anne]

Busy day today so a quick hitter:

When the "best thing to ever happen to you" happens, do you realize it in the moment?

I have recognized it a few times in my life and I'm grateful for that. The biggest thing I remember about them is the sublime peace that I felt within my heart and mind in those moments.

 

[beachbaby179]

Busy day today so a quick hitter:

When the "best thing to ever happen to you" happens, do you realize it in the moment?

Sorry...busy day. Just dropping in. Depends. As a mom, nothing beats the first time they hand you your tiny bundle and lay him on your chest. In that moment, you know it's the best. Anything else? Would probably take a little hindsight. But then I'm not an Olympic athlete. Or a prize winning poet or scientist. Or any of the other superlatives that would know when they've hit their pinnacle.

 

[ChainedUp]

Discovery. It's one of the best parts of any relationship. Likes, dislikes, wants, needs, just all part of discovering who the person is. Sometimes you just "know", sometimes it's trial & error. And sometimes a "list" gets made during the "tell me about yourself" stage.

Does it make any difference, with regard to sex, how someone comes to know your likes/dislikes? Does it diminish the pleasure if you have to "hold class" to teach them how and where? Does coming by it organically produce better orgasmic results than the applied knowledge method?

 

[Lord Pmann]

Discovery. It's one of the best parts of any relationship. Likes, dislikes, wants, needs, just all part of discovering who the person is. Sometimes you just "know", sometimes it's trial & error. And sometimes a "list" gets made during the "tell me about yourself" stage.

Does it make any difference, with regard to sex, how someone comes to know your likes/dislikes? Does it diminish the pleasure if you have to "hold class" to teach them how and where? Does coming by it organically produce better orgasmic results than the applied knowledge method?

Organic. Must must must be organic. I mean, direction is no problem. But it can be done in a way that isn't awkward. And hey, teaching isn't such a bad thing now, is it?

 

[ElasticMermaid]

Discovery. It's one of the best parts of any relationship. Likes, dislikes, wants, needs, just all part of discovering who the person is. Sometimes you just "know", sometimes it's trial & error. And sometimes a "list" gets made during the "tell me about yourself" stage.

Does it make any difference, with regard to sex, how someone comes to know your likes/dislikes? Does it diminish the pleasure if you have to "hold class" to teach them how and where? Does coming by it organically produce better orgasmic results than the applied knowledge method?

I much prefer them to come to the table with the intrinsic tools to get things done without any input from me. Unfortunately I like to date inappropriately young college boys. So, I am frequently disappointed.

 

[beachbaby179]

I don't think there's anything wrong with someone new asking what their partner likes, doesn't like and what they can do differently to pleasure them more. Then again, if he were to show me new things I didn't yet know I liked...bonus points.

 

[jezzilee]

Discovery. It's one of the best parts of any relationship. Likes, dislikes, wants, needs, just all part of discovering who the person is. Sometimes you just "know", sometimes it's trial & error. And sometimes a "list" gets made during the "tell me about yourself" stage.

Does it make any difference, with regard to sex, how someone comes to know your likes/dislikes? Does it diminish the pleasure if you have to "hold class" to teach them how and where? Does coming by it organically produce better orgasmic results than the applied knowledge method?

I absolutely adore the beginning stages of new romance. That first kiss that makes you hunger for a second, exploring each other, finding ways to create bliss for one's partner is always exciting. I find I don't usually have to educate my partners. I choose them wisely I guess. If I like something a certain way I am not afraid to ask for it. If he is not touching me correctly when his hand is between my thighs I have always found Mutual Masturbation at close range is a good way to learn one another's proclivities in the heavy petting arena, if he still struggles to get it right I will just put his hand on mine and let him feel the way I touch myself. There are fun ways to share your likes and dislikes without making your partner feel inadequate.

 

[ChainedUp]

It's a sharing Friday. And I guess around here that makes it no different from most other days. For today, what is that one thing in life that you'd like to do over? A single moment where you made a decision and wish now you had made it differently. What's changed. Is because the results didn't turn out best for you? Is it because over time you've changed as a person and would handle that decision differently? Or was it a bad decision at the time all on its own? Would your life be any different or would that moment just have a better memory attached to it now?

 

[SMNaughtywife]

I regret a drunk driving accident. Flipped a u-turn on the interstate and drove into traffic. Caused a bit of a stir, head on accident with a few cars, shut the interstate down for a bit. Woke up in the hospital the next day a mess. (19yrs ago.)
Was it a bad decision, no. More like terrible, horrible!!
I count my blessings that I didn't kill anyone or myself.
What changed because of it? To this day I will not drive if I've been drinking. Absolutely no way, no how, same goes for Mr.
I'm sure it changed my feeling and tolerance towards driving while under the influence- and that goes with anything. Take cab, call a friend. $30 is a drop in the bucket compared to a helicopter ride.

 

[Paul_Chance]

It's a sharing Friday. And I guess around here that makes it no different from most other days. For today, what is that one thing in life that you'd like to do over? A single moment where you made a decision and wish now you had made it differently. What's changed. Is because the results didn't turn out best for you? Is it because over time you've changed as a person and would handle that decision differently? Or was it a bad decision at the time all on its own? Would your life be any different or would that moment just have a better memory attached to it now?

I wouldn't change anything. I like who I am, I like where I am in this life, hell - I simply like this life. Each and everything that I went through, did and failed to do, made me who I am.

I do idly speculate at what would have happened, how I would have turned out if I had made different decisions at different points, but it's more idle speculation that a sincere wish. I wonder at things like - I did college part time (10 years to get a bachelors) - what would have happened if I had gone full time and straight through? What would have happened if I had stayed in the Army? What would have happened if I had moved to California sooner? What would have happened if I had stayed in Japan? That sort of thing.

 

[cowslinger64]

It's a sharing Friday. And I guess around here that makes it no different from most other days. For today, what is that one thing in life that you'd like to do over? A single moment where you made a decision and wish now you had made it differently. What's changed. Is because the results didn't turn out best for you? Is it because over time you've changed as a person and would handle that decision differently? Or was it a bad decision at the time all on its own? Would your life be any different or would that moment just have a better memory attached to it now?

Having the choice to go to England for the USAF for two years alone, or get married at 18 and take her for 3 years.

Should have NEVER made that decision to get married.. it's my one regret and its a big one.

 

[beachbaby179]

Just one. A decision to go somewhere on a certain evening, alone, instead of taking someone with me. It put me in the wrong place at the wrong time and in a heap of trouble.
Other choices...yeah, I could have chosen differently but my life's path and how it turned out all have their plus sides. I can't complain.

 

[TheSilverLining]

I think about this frequently - the shoulda/woulda/coulda thing. Sometimes I think things could be better if I'd chosen a different path. Had I not found myself pregnant and homeless as a teenager. Had I not had a relationship that would prevent any further attempts at the same. Had I not made countless ridiculous decisions.

But then I don't think I ever would go for the do-over. I mean, we all have a history. Every one of us has stuff in our past that isn't the greatest. But I believe that those are the things that shape us as people. Would I be where I am now had I not fucked-up? No. Would I appreciate the things that I have now had I not come from a shit place? Probably not so much.
You gotta have the bad to appreciate the good. And things can only get better, right? No do-overs here.

 

[LallyH]

Whatever decisions I've made, I don't try and second guess them later down the line. Whatever I feel I may have gained if I'd chosen differently, there are bound to be other valuable things that I would have lost. If I'd chosen a different career path with more security, I would have lost the independence I have now, for example.

 

[ChainedUp]

Sometimes in life you do what you can, other times you do what you want, while still other times you find yourself doing something you'd rather not. If you do what you can are you left longing? If you do what you want are you being selfish? If you're doing what you'd rather not are you being taken advantage of?

Or is life, life and sometimes you just do what you do and move on?

 

[beachbaby179]

Makes me wonder what you're doing today. I get the sense it falls into the 'rather not' category.
You do what you have to do. And sometimes you get to have fun. Or you MAKE the time to have fun if you haven't in a while. But being an adult with responsibilities means that often, your time is not your own. Just the way it is.

 

[Trekka]

Makes me wonder what you're doing today. I get the sense it falls into the 'rather not' category.
You do what you have to do. And sometimes you get to have fun. Or you MAKE the time to have fun if you haven't in a while. But being an adult with responsibilities means that often, your time is not your own. Just the way it is.

This.

Take care of yourself, do what you gotta do, have healthy boundaries. And nothing's perfect.

Coffee helps

 

[Paul_Chance]

Sometimes in life you do what you can, other times you do what you want, while still other times you find yourself doing something you'd rather not. If you do what you can are you left longing? If you do what you want are you being selfish? If you're doing what you'd rather not are you being taken advantage of?

Or is life, life and sometimes you just do what you do and move on?

• If you do what you can are you left longing?
• If you do what you want are you being selfish?
• If you're doing what you'd rather not are you being taken advantage of?

There are times when all you can do is the best you can do. I can't say I am left longing in those instances. If I could have done more I would have and I sleep well know I did what I could.

There is a healthy selfish when it comes to doing what you want, meeting your own needs and desires, doing those things you love. I can't say I feel selfish when I do what I want - mostly I just feel content.

As for the things I'd rather not be doing I'm pretty content there too. Generally, the only reason I am doing them is I'm getting paid, so I periodically treat myself to a stripper shower of cash to remind me why I did them.