Litiquette IV

[DarkSimian]

Good morning, lady! And yeah, I woke up super early this morning. I'm weird like that sometimes.

I'm really loving the answers to this question. You guys are all wonderful, deep, strong people. I'd hug you all if I could. And spank Trekka, just because.

Just keep your sword to yourself, King NRJ

 

[NorthRockJohnson]

Just keep your sword to yourself, King NRJ

I'll do what I can! No promises.

 

[iamincognito45]

Does fear of failure make you try harder or not at all? Common convention is that you should allow yourself to fail in order to achieve beyond what you might otherwise. But consider this, can you ever recover from an epic failure?

To quote Star Trek and The Kobayashi Maru, I don't believe in the no win scenario.

Very rarely does failure lead to some devastating, life altering changes. So I am not afraid of trying.

I love being challenged. Pushing myself. I am a very competitive person. I like to succeed and I like to improve myself. Whether it's in relationships, work, a skill I'm trying to learn (do we ever really master?), an athletic pursuit, etc. I want to be better. But that does not mean I think little of myself or my own capabilities. I am, by nature, a confident person.

Have I had many more successes than failures? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe I just tend to think of failures as learning steps toward success.

For things that represent risk of failure, I tend to see them as challenges. I have an insatiable appetite for learning and trying and experiencing new things. So I tend to lean forward, taking chances, trying new things and trying to grow and learn from every experience. For me, failures are just a way to judge where I am in my progress towards being better. A pop quiz or even a midterm if you will. But rarely do I consider failures to be 'the final exam' from which there is no second chance.

I am probably more fortunate than most. I have led a blessed life for the most part and cannot think of a single 'epic' failure I have experienced. Oh I have had some spectacular failures to be sure, but I have never found myself in or yet allowed myself to be defined by those times I have failed.

*shrug*

 

[Endless_Night]

< I knew that he was trying to force me to play from memory but it backfired. I went to pieces, played so badly it was totally embarrassing for me and the audience, and I have never played piano in public since. I was 18. >

Lally. That story makes me cringe.

It also reminds me of a similar occasion, at least as far as being pushed.

I have a couple of phobias. Heights is one, complete with vertigo. I abhor being afraid. So much so that it’s routine to push my limits. I force myself out on to balconies and rooftops, do zip lines, anything to try and dull the edge of my fear.

Many moons ago, I went rock climbing with a boyfriend. To say I was nervous is an understatement. We hired a guide/instructor for the trip. I managed several short climbs over the course of two days, terrified, and with teeth clenched, but I made them. We came to the final climb. A sheer rock face with no obvious crevice in sight.

It may have been that I was exhausted, or that I’d pushed myself too hard, but whatever the reason, I balked.

The guy I was dating had paid for the guide. For some reason he thought shaming me about wasting his money would get me over the hump, push me to do the climb. It did not. In fact, it was such a deeply humiliating experience that I’ve never been able to force myself to climb again.

My climbing shoes serve as a reminder of that epic little failure; they toss me the occasional reproachful glance from the back of a closet.

 

[SMNaughtywife]

I'm going to have a lot to get upon my full return.

In the mean time, carry on.

*drops a nugget* Does fear of failure make you try harder or not at all? Common convention is that you should allow yourself to fail in order to achieve beyond what you might otherwise. But consider this, can you ever recover from an epic failure?

I probably try harder when I'm unsure if I'll succeed. Give it that extra go, have a pep talk with myself and Go! I've failed lots if times in numerous things, but I'm not afraid to pick myself back up and give it another try.

Epic failure - I'm good at telling myself that everyone makes mistakes, give myself the 10 minute pity party of shame and embarrassment and move on. We're all human, flawed and in the big picture of life, you'll live. (Plus you'll have a good story to share.)

 

[Lord Pmann]

P Daddy Chained is out today, it seems, so I'll carry on his tiny torch!

My question today is somewhat similar to the quirky one I asked a few days ago. Same type of question.

The concept is excess. What things do you do that you just do to excess? It could be something as simple as a hobby. Or shopping. Or alcohol.

I do a couple of things. Clothes and shoes. So excessive. I have an entire closet for pants. An entire closet for my shirts. And maybe 40+ pairs of shoes.

Another thing is musical instruments. My god I have a lot. And I'll go all over the place to get them. A couple of weeks ago I found out about a guitar 450 miles away. I jumped in my car the next afternoon and drove my happy little ass 14.5 hours round trip. All to buy a guitar. When I already have like 20. But this one was special. That's not the first time I've driven that far for one. Two months ago I drove about 1400 miles round trip to get one. And then several other small trips also. I just love them and can't say no.

 

[Paul_Chance]

My days of excess are over (thank goodness). About a decade ago I made a conscious choice to strip my life down, both in terms of my interests and my possessions. It freed me from a lot of "stuff", both physical and psychological, so it has been a great trip.

I can think of two things I do "in excess" if compared to other people, but for me they're not excess but rather time spent doing the things I love. First, I read a lot, both ebooks and physical books. (I keep very few of them since, frankly, most books I'm never going to reread - the exception being poetry and art.) Second, I work, a lot, in comparison to a 40 hour work week. I'm compensated very well (billable hours) and I truly enjoy my job, so it doesn't feel like work.

Before I stripped things down - I had an entire room that doubled as a library with floor to ceiling bookshelves that were full, I loved electronic gadgets and devices and had a lot, and I had...a few too many guitars. LOL - stripping the guitar collection down was the hardest part, but in the end there were really only three I played with any regularity.

 

[NorthRockJohnson]

My excess is also guitars and music equipment. My guitar count isn't really that big at all currently (two main acoustics, an electric I've had forever and a beater acoustic I keep around for sentimental reasons) but every now and then I'll splurge on something I can't really afford.

 

[NorthRockJohnson]

I think I have more quirks that normal behaviors.

Some from just this week:

Don't bring me a hamburger without ketchup. If I have to ask for ketchup, I already hate you.

I always drink orange juice while I'm eating pretzels.

I'm really good at picking things up with my toes and I like to show people. And I will choose that method over my hands whenever socially acceptable.

If you meet me in real life, I will probably ask to trim your eyebrows.

I sleep in a bra.

I hate taking showers and baths but like being clean. I'm a super fast showerer.

I hate the smell of cinnamon.

I'm terrified of lobsters and crabs.

I love to watch people cook tiny food. I spent hours watching videos of this the other day. Including one where a guy "fed" small food to a Venus fly trap.

Honestly, most of these are pretty endearing. Tiny food is indeed bizarrely facinating.

 

[Endless_Night]

When it comes to things, I’m not prone to excess. There might be small binges. like…a couple pairs of, ahem, expensive shoes, or a book run, but I usually reign myself in pretty quickly.

What gets me is projects. I excess, obsess, loose my mind, whatever you want to call it, when I get focused on a goal. Things like an 80,000 word writing project completed in five weeks, complete with several revisions. Or three months immersed in paint samples, searching for the quintessential zen. Or higher education - do not get me started. :|

I understand the concept of moderation, it’s the application that proves tricky.

My SO, on the other hand, likes things. Ten pairs of shoes in as many weeks last year. (He’d still be buying if I hadn’t threatened mayhem.) Toys: cameras, scopes, electronics, anything even marginally related to his car. Space is real issue these days, so he’s learning to be more circumspect.

Between the two of us, we have excess covered.

 

[iamincognito45]

If I have an excess, it is as boring as having too many interests for me to be excessive about any one of them. *shrug* I am a life junkie. I love life experiences and everything around me intrigues me. I am insatiably curious and want to learn more about everything I see and do. All of which means I am a master of nothing. But competent in most.

For those that know me, I can and will engage others in just about any subject. I like to think I am open minded enough to listen and consider another's ideas or thoughts on subjects that might differ from my own. And I am humble enough to acknowledge I am not an expert.

My family has enough hoarder genes that there is not enough room for me to be excessive about collecting anything. Although I admit I was well on my way once. Fortunately, I was able to taper off before it became an obsession. But I was oh so close once!

 

[iamincognito45]

What gets me is projects. I excess, obsess, loose my mind, whatever you want to call it, when I get focused on a goal. Things like an 80,000 word writing project completed in five weeks, complete with several revisions.

When I saw this, I forgot to add...

Writing last year with EN was close to an obsession. It was only one story. But it was intense. And judging by the reads and followers, very well received...

 

[Lord Pmann]

I'm happy to hear about these fellow guitar heroes. You understand my pains. You understand needing that next guitar or amp or whatever. Explaining it to a normal just gets me blank stares.

 

[DarkSimian]

As some of you know, I'm into comic books. I've been collecting for almost 25 yrs, and sometimes it borders on obsession. There is a store that maybe closing, so they clearance out their comics at 50%. I bought $80 worth, which only cost me $40, but did I really need them? And I'm thinking of going back for a second pass. If there was a comic shop in Antarctica, I would consider going. If Saddam Hussein had a rare comic, I'd buy from him....ok, I'm going to go curl up with my Spider-man doll for a minute.....

 

[Paul_Chance]

Yes - I have a friend who is an obsessive guitar player and collector. We had a strange moment once when we're sitting in her living room and she is complaining she is always broke and I'm sitting there looking around the room where I could see twenty plus guitars...hell, she had the value of her house in guitars. I was filled with envy.

 

[Endless_Night]

When I saw this, I forgot to add...

Writing last year with EN was close to an obsession. It was only one story. But it was intense. And judging by the reads and followers, very well received...

Aww. A memorable excess.

Though, I'm afraid I drove you crazy, pestering for each new installment!

 

[iamincognito45]

Aww. A memorable excess.

Though, I'm afraid I drove you crazy, pestering for each new installment!

At the risk of derailing the thread for a brief moment, this is an interesting comment and caused me to reflect. I am a lot of things, but OCD is NOT one of them. And I do not claim to be a good writer, though I do make an effort to write well and generally take pride in what I do write. Times two if it is 'with' someone. So I admit to being a little paranoid in our writing. Reading, re-reading and proofing again. Checking first and foremost to make sure it flowed smoothly, to keep the story line consistent (I sometimes failed) and to make it engaging for those reading it. All of that took time girl! Oh yeah, and I was busy as hell too! Still, your incessant demands for a new chapter helped keep me on point. At least for a little while...

Was great fun!

 

[cascadiabound]

To quote Star Trek and The Kobayashi Maru, I don't believe in the no win scenario.

Very rarely does failure lead to some devastating, life altering changes. So I am not afraid of trying.

I love being challenged. Pushing myself. I am a very competitive person. I like to succeed and I like to improve myself. Whether it's in relationships, work, a skill I'm trying to learn (do we ever really master?), an athletic pursuit, etc. I want to be better. But that does not mean I think little of myself or my own capabilities. I am, by nature, a confident person.

Have I had many more successes than failures? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe I just tend to think of failures as learning steps toward success.

For things that represent risk of failure, I tend to see them as challenges. I have an insatiable appetite for learning and trying and experiencing new things. So I tend to lean forward, taking chances, trying new things and trying to grow and learn from every experience. For me, failures are just a way to judge where I am in my progress towards being better. A pop quiz or even a midterm if you will. But rarely do I consider failures to be 'the final exam' from which there is no second chance.

I am probably more fortunate than most. I have led a blessed life for the most part and cannot think of a single 'epic' failure I have experienced. Oh I have had some spectacular failures to be sure, but I have never found myself in or yet allowed myself to be defined by those times I have failed.

*shrug*

This post could have been written by me. Including the opening reference to Star Trek.
So. I'll just say ditto.
Thanks for saving me from having to compose my own answer incognito.
cb

 

[Endless_Night]

<snip> Checking first and foremost to make sure it flowed smoothly, to keep the story line consistent (I sometimes failed) and to make it engaging for those reading it. All of that took time girl! Oh yeah, and I was busy as hell too! Still, your incessant demands for a new chapter helped keep me on point. At least for a little while...

Was great fun!

LOL! You were awesome. And patient.

I'm just...let's go with...incredibly focused.

/end derail]

This post could have been written by me. Including the opening reference to Star Trek.
So. I'll just say ditto.
Thanks for saving me from having to compose my own answer incognito.
cb

He's naturally helpful.

 

[DarkSimian]

This post could have been written by me. Including the opening reference to Star Trek.
So. I'll just say ditto.
Thanks for saving me from having to compose my own answer incognito.
cb

wait? you're a Trekkie?

 

[cascadiabound]

wait? you're a Trekkie?

Uh. Yea. Duh. Of course .
Sci Fi geek girl all the way.

 

[sweetsophie512]

P Daddy Chained is out today, it seems, so I'll carry on his tiny torch!

My question today is somewhat similar to the quirky one I asked a few days ago. Same type of question.

The concept is excess. What things do you do that you just do to excess? It could be something as simple as a hobby. Or shopping. Or alcohol.

I do a couple of things. Clothes and shoes. So excessive. I have an entire closet for pants. An entire closet for my shirts. And maybe 40+ pairs of shoes.

Another thing is musical instruments. My god I have a lot. And I'll go all over the place to get them. A couple of weeks ago I found out about a guitar 450 miles away. I jumped in my car the next afternoon and drove my happy little ass 14.5 hours round trip. All to buy a guitar. When I already have like 20. But this one was special. That's not the first time I've driven that far for one. Two months ago I drove about 1400 miles round trip to get one. And then several other small trips also. I just love them and can't say no.

Good question, pmann!

Excess? It's a matter of perspective.

I am obsessed with sunglasses. I have several pairs and I find myself purchasing one whenever I go on a trip. I can't pinpoint when it all started! I think I forgot to take a pair on a trip once upon a time and had to purchase one while there. This one act resulted in a very expensive tradition as they have become the *souvenir* of the trips I have taken. Thank goodness I don't have other obsessions as I could not safely justify spending money on everything that fascinates me. Is it excessive? This is how I know it is. I had to make room for all of them in one of my drawers.

 

[AKentuckyLady]

P Daddy Chained is out today, it seems, so I'll carry on his tiny torch!

My question today is somewhat similar to the quirky one I asked a few days ago. Same type of question.

The concept is excess. What things do you do that you just do to excess? It could be something as simple as a hobby. Or shopping. Or alcohol.

This is silly but so true.

Lip balm.

I can't stand to be anywhere at a given moment without my lip balm. And not just any old generic Chapstick or Burt's Bees. It has to be my Nivea "Kiss of Smoothness" lip balm.

I think I have at least 40 of them stashed everywhere - the desk, the car, the purse, the other purse, every room in the house, next to the sofa, my computer bag, by the washing machine, the garage. They are everywhere.

Must.
Have.
Lip balm.

 

[LallyH]

This is silly but so true.

Lip balm.

I can't stand to be anywhere at a given moment without my lip balm. And not just any old generic Chapstick or Burt's Bees. It has to be my Nivea "Kiss of Smoothness" lip balm.

I think I have at least 40 of them stashed everywhere - the desk, the car, the purse, the other purse, every room in the house, next to the sofa, my computer bag, by the washing machine, the garage. They are everywhere.

Must.
Have.
Lip balm.

One of my friends is the same, but with Vaseline - he constantly puts it on his lips. We were flying away on holiday together and security confiscated his little tin of it. He went into absolute meltdown at the thought of being without it for 5 hours.

 

[Lord Pmann]

All you ladies and your glossy lips...