Long Distance Relationships

[voyergirl]

July 12th

I to get to meet my on-line LOVE!

I cannot wait, he is also an Aussie. I am an American, he is coming here to be with us, I say us because my whole family has accepted him as one of us. Even my husband, yes, he knows i want sex from this man. But he doesn't have the depth to understand the incredible need he will fulfill for me. The two of them talk like best friends not rivals for my affection. I am so excited for his arrival. It is still 3 months away yet, I am already getting prepared for it

Jenny, I have been reading your threads for a long time now and wish you and Oman the very very very best!

Love is something that should be allowed to grow and become more beautiful as time passes. In a LDR lives are shared in a more spiritual way, which allows us to give more deeply in the begining. Flesh is fantastic, but the mind is really you should fall in love with. Just think in an LDR you have only the thoughts and feeling being shared. What better and more "REAL" love is there?

 

[voyergirl]

by the way
**************************************

LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS
G'day from Australia,Jenny,I have been in a long distance relationship for approximately 4 weeks now & I feel the key to its success is to mix the conversation up between the two parties,variety is the spice of life,they say,I would love to experience more long distance relationships,provided there is 100% respect from both parties & 100% trust as well,without these two facets,it just won't work.
I wish you all the love & caring in your future dalliences with L.D.R.
Feel free to drop me a line at: tdah_leosnake36@hotmail.com
Take care,
LOVE LONG & HARD!
ISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS

************************************
originally by tatts~horny65

he posted this the 1st week of dec. here on this thread. this is MY "love" and we are still going stronger than ever!

 

[Top Cat]

Thanks TC for your good wishes. LOL so far so good!!

TC just for the record is this her first visit to you or is she moving there permanently. If it's both if I were her I would be scared to death to say the very least! Hang in there!

Hat!!! What the HELL are you doing on here????? LOL

In answer to your question, BOTH... We have never meet, she was going to come in March and go back home, returning after settling everthing over there (if it worked out) that was going to be a 12 week visit....

Now, she is finalising everything and coming over for 12 MONTHS... if things go well we, and I mean we, will apply for her to stay permanantly... she has a return ticket... so yep... I know what she is doing is huge and scary... I have told her that...

Am I being selfish in my thoughts I put here? I would really like to know... maybe I am, maybe I'd better pick up my act... I need help guys, and girls... help to see the light, it seems to be fading, is it just cloudy or is it going out?

 

[hatara]

Wow TC that gives new meaning to the term taking the plunge!

My love was sleeping this afternoon and taking a nap from his long drive and little sleep the night before. I can't sleep now but do not want to wake him up.

All I can really say TC is to hang in there and keep talking to her. Reassure her as much as you can and keep believing.

Good luck!

 

[JennyOmanHill]

Re: Sigh...

I need to know if any others are having this problem here....does anyone else have massive communcation failure because of the lack of face to face talking? So much can be inferred with body language and inflection........how do you get around this.

I guess I just want this thing between Sxychick and I to go off seamlessly and it's rough to not be face to face.

Any suggestions folks?

Hi Guido

I find at times that certain things need to be repeated when there are misunderstandings in communication by words or just voice. (Dang... it happens at least once every day or two with me and Oman! And I swear I NEVER said "dang" before I met him!!)

The instant I saw Oman's face as he stood inside the elevator of my building when he came to visit, I knew everything I felt for him, and his feelings for me, were ALL there. In fact, being together allows for a lot of "quiet" time as words are not even necessary when your feelings escape from your eyes, your smile, etc.

Try NOT to stress out about this ahead of time, Guido! It's so much easier the second you're together. I did myself a BIG favor by pushing away preconceived anticipations before Oman visited. Just relax. You both already love each other. Keep taking deep breaths, and smile. Keep talking too, right up until the last minute. It's a scary, but exhilerating, experience!

 

[JennyOmanHill]

Re: Re: Sigh...

...
I want to be face to face with Daeth, we both do, but we've only been able to set a month with an uncertain date in the second week of Aug (could be later depending on drive time)

Just keep talking hun, and realize that even being face to facet
things are not always seamless.

Hi Lady Sam

I agree with you about things not always been seamless. I think bracing together for any bumps that come along is what happens when people are in love. Even seamless or smooth things get wrinkles or bumps every once in a while, but you'll be sharing these as a couple.

August will be here before you know it! I'm so excited, as I keep reliving over and over how I felt the instant I was face to face with Oman. It only took one second, and any anxiousness and nervousness that had crept in just disappeared. He was, indeed, the person I fell in love with, and to see the love he has for me in HIS eyes is something miraculous for me!

 

[JennyOmanHill]

by the way
**************************************

************************************
originally by tatts~horny65

he posted this the 1st week of dec. here on this thread. this is MY "love" and we are still going stronger than ever!

Wow, Voyergirl! Yes, I remember the post from tatts! How wonderful that your meeting is so close!!

I also want to thank you for explaining your situation. I realize there are very many LDRs where one, or both, have spouses or significant others. It's wonderful that your whole family has embraced his coming. That, definitely, takes a lot of the stress out of the anticipation, especially when he's traveling such a distance!

Thanks for your good wishes, and I send good ones right back to the two of you! All the best (and please keep us posted!)

 

[JennyOmanHill]

Hat!!! What the HELL are you doing on here????? LOL

In answer to your question, BOTH... We have never meet, she was going to come in March and go back home, returning after settling everthing over there (if it worked out) that was going to be a 12 week visit....
Now, she is finalising everything and coming over for 12 MONTHS... if things go well we, and I mean we, will apply for her to stay permanantly... she has a return ticket... so yep... I know what she is doing is huge and scary... I have told her that...
Am I being selfish in my thoughts I put here? I would really like to know... maybe I am, maybe I'd better pick up my act... I need help guys, and girls... help to see the light, it seems to be fading, is it just cloudy or is it going out?

Hi T.C.

I'm sorry that things are so muddled for you right now. As Hat pointed out, and as you already know, that's a BIG leap for her to be taking, and second (and third, and fourth) guessing on a move like this would be quite natural. It does NOT mean the love you both have is the problem!

I think a lot of couples experience feelings like this. Although our "distance" is not nearly as wide as in your case, I, too, have periods of indecision as far as moving out of NYC is concerned. I love Oman more than I ever imagined loving anyone, and a life together with him is something I long for each day. However, the reality of leaving behind life-long friends and places does tend to tug on the soul.

Keep talking!! As much and as often as you can. It's through our discussions that Oman and I feel so much better about things right now even though there is still so much uncertainty. Talking helped me decide and reset my priorities as well. Fear of the "unknown" is a tough one. I'm working on being as patient as possible (part of me still wants ALL the answers "right now"!!).

Hang in there.
http://www.walkerfineart.co.uk/AK%20Fading%20Light%20t.JPG

 

[GuidoMustache]

Thank you Jenny

Thank you for the kindly advice, it settles me a bit more to know that others are experiencing the same thing and it's not all in my head. As for the meeting, I am a bit nervous but not nearly as nervous as I could be. I am excited to no end....but things are kind of shaky right now. I hope things work out in the end for both she and I......if not I know we will still be terrific friends who care about each other very deeply.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Sigh...

I need to know if any others are having this problem here....does anyone else have massive communcation failure because of the lack of face to face talking? So much can be inferred with body language and inflection........how do you get around this.

I guess I just want this thing between Sxychick and I to go off seamlessly and it's rough to not be face to face.

Any suggestions folks?

I am sure everyone has some communication snafus. In our case, he is an scotsman living the the UK, and I am an urban american of african american descent. Talk about your connotation confusion!

Surprisingly we have few troubles understanding each other. For oe thing we kepp asking for clarification, and that helps. IN shor t if we think we ahve misunderstood something, we stop and ask for an explanation. That seems to help.

Also, we pepper our emails with a large dose of humor.

Ebony

 

[Ebonyfire]

These three weeks won't drag...

ACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKkk

Please tell me that these next 3 weeks won't drag..I'm missing my Meop and I need to be in his arms ..NOW!!!

soft kisses,
whspr

OK, I told you, but do you believe me?

Relax and fill your days with activity. Also, you know we are all here to help you get through this!

Ebony

 

[JennyOmanHill]

Re: Thank you Jenny

Thank you for the kindly advice, it settles me a bit more to know that others are experiencing the same thing and it's not all in my head. As for the meeting, I am a bit nervous but not nearly as nervous as I could be. I am excited to no end....but things are kind of shaky right now. I hope things work out in the end for both she and I......if not I know we will still be terrific friends who care about each other very deeply.

Hi Guido Things sometimes appear to get "shaky" before the happening! Believe me that it's best that you keep talking (I cannot emphasize this enough!). This is the time that some doubts and anxiousness may creep in, and without constant talking, the emotions may get out of hand a bit.

I promise that the second you see each other, all this will seem like it never happened.

Oman and I, up to the final hours before he boarded his flight, kept saying that the WORST that would happen is that we would be good friends, and we would each be content to just hold hands during the week of his visit (not wanting either of us to feel any pressure). Needless to say, it didn't take us long at all before we were holding more than hands!!

Try and relax and keep your mind from drifting too far ahead. It's an anxious time, and people may act differently when their nerves are affected. Hang in there, and take care.

 

[JennyOmanHill]

Re: These three weeks won't drag...

OK, I told you, but do you believe me?

Relax and fill your days with activity. Also, you know we are all here to help you get through this!

Ebony

Hi Ebony Great advice about keeping busy (at least mentally busy!).

Humor, I feel, is a constant necessity. Oman and I sometimes get giddy with silly things, but it just enhances our comfortableness with each other, and it's actually relaxing to the "nerves"!

http://library.thinkquest.org/25500/humor/media/humor-r1c2.gif

 

[Ebonyfire]

I know exactly what you mean...

Hi T.C.

I'm sorry that things are so muddled for you right now. As Hat pointed out, and as you already know, that's a BIG leap for her to be taking, and second (and third, and fourth) guessing on a move like this would be quite natural. It does NOT mean the love you both have is the problem!

I think a lot of couples experience feelings like this. Although our "distance" is not nearly as wide as in your case, I, too, have periods of indecision as far as moving out of NYC is concerned. I love Oman more than I ever imagined loving anyone, and a life together with him is something I long for each day. However, the reality of leaving behind life-long friends and places does tend to tug on the soul.

Keep talking!! As much and as often as you can. It's through our discussions that Oman and I feel so much better about things right now even though there is still so much uncertainty. Talking helped me decide and reset my priorities as well. Fear of the "unknown" is a tough one. I'm working on being as patient as possible (part of me still wants ALL the answers "right now"!!).

Hang in there.
http://www.walkerfineart.co.uk/AK%20Fading%20Light%20t.JPG

I am not a patient person. I know that it is important to take things lsow, and let things take their natural course. But I have waited so long for someone like bluespoke, I just want things to happen right now. I want my cake and I want to eat it too! Life is not like that. Business has to be taken care of. Priorities have to be looked at.

So I must learn the art of zen. Maybe I need to take a yoga class, or Tai Chi.

Ebony

 

[sxychick21]

Re: Re: Re: Sigh...

It only took one second, and any anxiousness and nervousness that had crept in just disappeared. He was, indeed, the person I fell in love with, and to see the love he has for me in HIS eyes is something miraculous for me!

I guess that is is just happening so fast that I want to be sure that I'm going to see the love and that all of the doubts will disappear. Thats where my cold feet came in...I have a hard time trusting his feelings and mine. Its not fear of us....its fear that "us" is not real.

 

[JennyOmanHill]

Re: I know exactly what you mean...

I am not a patient person. I know that it is important to take things lsow, and let things take their natural course. But I have waited so long for someone like bluespoke, I just want things to happen right now. I want my cake and I want to eat it too! Life is not like that. Business has to be taken care of. Priorities have to be looked at.

So I must learn the art of zen. Maybe I need to take a yoga class, or Tai Chi.

Ebony

You have described my feelings exactly, Ebony! Dang... I'm 49! How much longer do I need to wait??

Wonder if yoga would really help though? Should look into it!
http://www.msmagazine.com/images/apr%2099/yoga.jpg

 

[sxychick21]

Keep talking!! As much and as often as you can. It's through our discussions that Oman and I feel so much better about things right now even though there is still so much uncertainty. Talking helped me decide and reset my priorities as well. Fear of the "unknown" is a tough one. I'm working on being as patient as possible (part of me still wants ALL the answers "right now"!!).

Jenny,

Thank you AGAIN for the great advice. I thought NOT talking would make it easier but I think I was wrong! I just feel really disconnected from him lately, where as before we were on the same frequency....its hard because I don't know where the change came from. But, you're right we NEED to talk!

And that doesnt mean steamy talk...giggling

 

[sxychick21]

Re: I know exactly what you mean...

I am not a patient person. I know that it is important to take things lsow, and let things take their natural course. But I have waited so long for someone like bluespoke, I just want things to happen right now. I want my cake and I want to eat it too! Life is not like that. Business has to be taken care of. Priorities have to be looked at.

So I must learn the art of zen. Maybe I need to take a yoga class, or Tai Chi.

Ebony

Thank you Ebony for saying exactly what I've been feeling. the desire for instant gratification brings only heartache...and debt usually....giggling

Oh, and yoga...helps some I'm a recent convert and I can honestly say I really like it (which is new and different when it comes to me and exercise)

 

[sxychick21]

Re: Thank you Jenny

Thank you for the kindly advice, it settles me a bit more to know that others are experiencing the same thing and it's not all in my head. As for the meeting, I am a bit nervous but not nearly as nervous as I could be. I am excited to no end....but things are kind of shaky right now. I hope things work out in the end for both she and I......if not I know we will still be terrific friends who care about each other very deeply.

Thank you darling for being willing to work this out and for believeing that I'm worth the trouble.

soft sweet

 

[JennyOmanHill]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Sigh...

I guess that is is just happening so fast that I want to be sure that I'm going to see the love and that all of the doubts will disappear. Thats where my cold feet came in...I have a hard time trusting his feelings and mine. Its not fear of us....its fear that "us" is not real.

Hi Sxychick

I had those same thoughts and doubts "creeping" in, especially a few weeks before Oman's visit. Try hard to push this type of worry out of your mind. Just close your eyes and listen to his voice when you talk. It's "him"!! Every instance throughout this thread mentions that first "instant" being a wonderful moment.

The "us" you have become is as real as any relationship that exisits! Even more so perhaps because of falling in love through your soul rather than relying on physical attraction.

Take as much time as you need, but I think it's wise not to wait TOO long before you meet! You'll feel better the second you hold each other.

P.S. The "distance" you're feeling now is just the readjustment to the fact that you will be meeting in a whole new way! It's natural, so don't sweat over it!!

 

[sxychick21]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Sigh...

Hi Sxychick

I had those same thoughts and doubts "creeping" in, especially a few weeks before Oman's visit. Try hard to push this type of worry out of your mind. Just close your eyes and listen to his voice when you talk. It's "him"!! Every instance throughout this thread mentions that first "instant" being a wonderful moment.

The "us" you have become is as real as any relationship that exisits! Even more so perhaps because of falling in love through your soul rather than relying on physical attraction.

Take as much time as you need, but I think it's wise not to wait TOO long before you meet! You'll feel better the second you hold each other.

P.S. The "distance" you're feeling now is just the readjustment to the fact that you will be meeting in a whole new way! It's natural, so don't sweat over it!!

Jenny, thank you so much. That was like a nice warm understanding hug. Just what i needed! *crying a little* You are the sweetest person.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: I know exactly what you mean...

You have described my feelings exactly, Ebony! Dang... I'm 49! How much longer do I need to wait??

Wonder if yoga would really help though? Should look into it!
http://www.msmagazine.com/images/apr%2099/yoga.jpg

Oh yeah, yoga does help. Meditating helps too. I just need to do it.

Ebony

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Sigh...

Jenny, thank you so much. That was like a nice warm understanding hug. Just what i needed! *crying a little* You are the sweetest person.

I read some article last week that said i tis unwise to wait too long before meeting. Yes, be cautious, safety is paramount, but asside form that, meeting face to face is very important. The reaso being the longer you wait, the more likely you are not to meet, and the situation becomes almost a fantasy.

I do not htink I could stand it if I had to wait a year to meet him. I have to know as soon as is feasible. And for us it will be in June. I can hardly wait!

Yes I am nervous, but I am always nervous!

Ebony

 

[Lady_Sam]

Well we now have a tentative date! Aug 7th he will leave Ottawa and he will leave here Aug 22 Now the only thing that will really stand in the way of this and that would only be the length of time he could come down, would be him getting this job that is a great opportunity for him. And I have already told him if he gets the offer he is to take it.

I will happily settle for a long weekend instead of two weeks. I love him and it's important for me that he be happy with what he does. Considering if everything goes well, I'll eventually be moving there.

 

[JennyOmanHill]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Sigh...

Jenny, thank you so much. That was like a nice warm understanding hug. Just what i needed! *crying a little* You are the sweetest person.

http://www.cgspouses.net/cardfiles/images/hugs.jpg

I'm not really sweet!

I'm just sharing all the feelings I had before, during and after my first meeting with Oman. From reading through this thread, I found support as well as my "countdown" continued.

You can always come here for some sort of "hug", anytime!

Hang in there, Ebony! June is right around the corner!!