Long Distance Relationships

[Pixie]

But the point is they do come back... and you can tell.... when he is telling the truth and you can tell if he's lying if you talk with him enough and you trust your instincts if it seems fishy it is....

Meop79@yahoo.com

That sounds like good advice to me.
You just need to take the time to interact outside of a place like this BB.
Just like you might meet someone at a club
and then have a date later, just chatting over a cup of coffee...
It takes time and effort, especially since the communication lacks
all those physical aspects. Trust your feelings and instincts

 

[meop79]

That sounds like good advice to me.
You just need to take the time to interact outside of a place like this BB.
Just like you might meet someone at a club
and then have a date later, just chatting over a cup of coffee...
It takes time and effort, especially since the communication lacks
all those physical aspects. Trust your feelings and instincts

exactly and do NOT TRY ALL THE DATING GAME TRICKS AND LITTLE LIES AND BS.... Honesty is a MUST! absolute truth and demand the same from him.....

Meop79@yahoo.com

 

[meop79]

because if you don't......

well you will go into it with a lot of expectations and assumptions and that will kill the relationship

Meop79@yahoo.com

 

[Freya]

That sounds like good advice to me.
You just need to take the time to interact outside of a place like this BB.
Just like you might meet someone at a club
and then have a date later, just chatting over a cup of coffee...
It takes time and effort, especially since the communication lacks
all those physical aspects. Trust your feelings and instincts

I guess that's my biggest issue. Over time I've had my instincts proven wrong so many times, I no longer trust them. I guess I'll just have to run with it, and see where it leads.

My honesty is not in question...I guess it's his I'm concerned about, although I haven't any reason to think that, besides my own fears.

 

[Pixie]

I have just started my first long distance cyber relationship. The lady is hundreds of miles away but as long as you are willing to try, who knows. I actually ended up here in Texas because of the internet! I had an 18 month relationship with email, then IM, then chat and phone calls before flying over here to meet. However, it just didnt work out due to things not told to each other and the fact It was my first relationship at 38 yrs of age! Yes 38, sad isnt it!!!

The moral is if its for fun ok, if you want more be honest.


Good luck to everyone

R

That's true, honesty is key
Good luck to you too.

 

[Pixie]

I guess that's my biggest issue. Over time I've had my instincts proven wrong so many times, I no longer trust them. I guess I'll just have to run with it, and see where it leads.

My honesty is not in question...I guess it's his I'm concerned about, although I haven't any reason to think that, besides my own fears.

Oh, I know that all too well.
I still have my moments of doubt.
But that's where the communication comes in.
If you have doubts, talk, ask questions...
Misunderstandings can occur all too easily...
Just keep communicating openly and honestly.
And set your own pace

 

[Freya]

Oh, I know that all too well.
I still have my moments of doubt.
But that's where the communication comes in.
If you have doubts, talk, ask questions...
Misunderstandings can occur all too easily...
Just keep communicating openly and honestly.
And set your own pace

Thanks Pixie and meop - I will take what you have said to heart.

 

[meop79]

welcome!

Meop79@yahoo.com

 

[Ebonyfire]

Hugs, Hat!!!

But most of all I want hugs, cuddles, snuggles and if I can't have that I want to talk to Marty on the phone for as long as I want.

OK I have been a brat long enough just really tired, soar and my sink that was only just installed needs to be fixed tomorrow for the 3rd time.

I understand! Cheer up! I know how you feel. Since I have been back Bluespoke has been working and not paying attention to me. I am suffering, but I understand he has his work to do. I still want my emails, and kisses and hugs!

Ebony <me, me, me it's all about me!>

 

[Ebonyfire]

I am not an expert

Ok I have a question for all you LDR experts. How do you know if what the person is saying is true? What I mean is, how do you know that they aren't just saying all the right things that they think you want to hear, rather than what's in their heart?

And how much time does one invest in the getting to know you phase before considering that possibly this might be real. It's easier when you can look at or touch the otherperson..it's so hard when they are far away.

I can only speak about my own experiences. I think Bluespoke and I spoke for over 5 months before meeting. I think that the more you communicate, the longer you communicate, it is harder to maintain lies. if a person is lying, they will slip up over time. However, you have to use your best judgment.

I also think you have to meet and look each other in the eyes, and then you know. That worked for me.

Ebony

 

[Ebonyfire]

Hooray for countdowns!

Meop and Cherrie:

I hope your countdowns go as planned! Did I miss anyone?

Ebony

 

[meop79]

Oh it will this is my second countdown

Whspr is my baby... and I love her...

Meop79@yahoo.com

 

[Ebonyfire]

Amen

It only gets harder when you know you love them and they love you and you still can't touch them it's a stone cold bitch.

Meop79@yahoo.com

Your heart may ache when you are apart, but at least you know where you stand with your beloved when you have declared your love.

I love you, Bluespoke!

Ebony

 

[meop79]

Re: Amen

Your heart may ache when you are apart, but at least you know where you stand with your beloved when you have declared your love.

I love you, Bluespoke!

Ebony

True....

Meop79@yahoo.com

 

[Ebonyfire]

Oh it will this is my second countdown

Whspr is my baby... and I love her...

Meop79@yahoo.com

Are you two gonna spend a long time together? I hope to move permanently to the UK in the next year.

Ebony

 

[meop79]

sigh only a long weekend 4 days I think but hopefully soon it will be forever...

Meop79@yahoo.com

 

[1stTwistedSistr]

Yep!

You need to really look and hear what the other person is saying you need to watch them not only in messenger but in a forum like this and talking on the phone you need to spend enough time to really know them....

It only gets harder when you know you love them and they love you and you still can't touch them it's a stone cold bitch.

Meop79@yahoo.com

I'll second this opinion!

A 's C

 

[1stTwistedSistr]

I'll tell you ...

Ok so say for example, it's ina forum like this. Most people on here get right into the sexual connotations of it (obviously). If they don'tpost, they compliment others, roleplay sex scenes, etc. So in real life, you date a flirt - they might talk toother girls at the bar, but it's whether they come back to stand beside you to talk, kiss you or whatever. Obviously in a place like this, that can't happen. They aren't going to stay by your side - even figuratively - it takes away much of what it is they do here.

Thsi is making little or no sense I realize that. I guess I just want to know whether I should take the chance and do a leap of trust, or whether statistically it's a worthless measure.


*Help, I just want someone to tell me what to do!!*

I think I can help here...
The answer to your question about whether or not you know what they are telling you is true? You don't. Just like face to face meetings where one of the people is a con artist, you can only go with your gut feeling. No matter where you meet them! I don't know about anyone else, but I'm a big girl now and I know my own heart and mind. I know the difference between love and anything else! If you are experiencing this much fear about it, then maybe it isn't the right thing to do... Then again, if you don't take a chance, you'll never know if you're giving up on what could be the love of your life! Life is a gamble...... ROLL THE DICE!!! Good Luck whatever you do!

C's A

 

[Freya]

Re: I'll tell you ...

I think I can help here...
The answer to your question about whether or not you know what they are telling you is true? You don't. Just like face to face meetings where one of the people is a con artist, you can only go with your gut feeling. No matter where you meet them! I don't know about anyone else, but I'm a big girl now and I know my own heart and mind. I know the difference between love and anything else! If you are experiencing this much fear about it, then maybe it isn't the right thing to do... Then again, if you don't take a chance, you'll never know if you're giving up on what could be the love of your life! Life is a gamble...... ROLL THE DICE!!! Good Luck whatever you do!

C's A

Not fear about the person. I know what my problem is..it's fear of the unknown, fear of taking a chance, fear that once they get to know me they won't like me. It's almost different in the town where you live, because just as you can find out about them, so can they about you. that eliminates the "Oh my God, I didn't know that about you, time to go" syndrome. I guss for you guys who have met someone on here, this being such an open place, it's easier to be that way with others. I mean by virtue of logging in here, most people are generally open and honest about themselves, although I guess they're still hidden behind a log in name. In many ways, I'd think meeting soemone online is the way to go...I mean whos to say you're going to meet your one true love in a town of 90,000 people? So by using the internet it opens it up to the possibility of millions of people, thus expanding your chances of finding him/her. Conversely you also put yourself at risk of meeting a "Mr. Right" who has a wife, three kids and too much time on his hands, so he gets online and shmoozes other women. I understand that relationships formed online can work out - my mother is in one right now. I guess I'm just interested in finding out the logistics of it, and what success the rest of you have had with them. Did most of you meet the person online? Was it here or elsewhere?

I babble endlessly at times - feel free to tell me to get the hell out of your thread!

 

[1stTwistedSistr]

I met mine at an on-line dating service...

I don't believe there have been any scientific studies on the odds of the relationships working out or not but in my opinion the people that meet online are, as you've stated, more open and honest about themselves, and having met this way, you get more of a chance to get to know the inner person, their wants, needs, desires, personality and sure sex appeal adds into the factor, but it isn't the in-your-face lust that goes with meeting in person. By the time most online loves meet, especially LDR's, we are so in love with the inner person that looks are of little consequence, we love each other anyway. I hope this helps you somewhat... but hon, I don't think you'll find anyone here that will tell you what to do...


A 's C

 

[Freya]

I don't really want that...I'm a big girl and as such will make my own decision on it. If htis were a man in real life, and I saw a thread on real life relationships, I'd proabably be asking the same damn questions...cuz when it boils right down to it, it's all the same fears and questions either way. Anyways, thanks for your advice.

 

[1stTwistedSistr]

You're right about that!!! *lol*

I don't really want that...I'm a big girl and as such will make my own decision on it. If htis were a man in real life, and I saw a thread on real life relationships, I'd proabably be asking the same damn questions...cuz when it boils right down to it, it's all the same fears and questions either way. Anyways, thanks for your advice.

Yep! Same fears, hopes, dreams, and everything else! Only thing different is that I have not yet touched his, lips, face, his hands, etc., etc.

It all boils down to the same thing! To love, or not to love, THAT is the question!

C 's A

 

[meop79]

almost 7 days... sigh.......

Meop79@yahoo.com

 

[Ladyhawke]

Hi everyone...hope you're all doing well. I'm happy to say I've been plesantly surprised and will hopefully (fingers and toes crossed) get to see my guy tomorrow...if we can't work it out..I'll see him in 9 days when his bike ride is over (he's riding across Iowa). I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much so I won't be too disappointed if he can't make it...but it's not working..I'm bouncing off the walls!

Cherrie...hope things go as planned..you deserve it!

Meop..hope the next 7 days fly by!

Hatara...I feel for you moving is the worst...hope it gets better

Ebony...Glad your trip went well!

Hugs to everyone!!

 

[meop79]

*HUGS*

Meop79@yahoo.com