Men & Blow jobs....

[Missingmeds]

Okay guys, I have a question, and it is more of a why than a how to but this is where I wanted to post it since we do more serious discussions here.

Why is it that some men just can't seem to cum from a blow job? This is something that has been a topic of conversation for me and several of my friends lately.

Any ideas of why it is? Or how to get a man past that so that he does?

I guess that last question does make it a how to doesn't it?

 

[sdcharley2004]

Okay guys, I have a question, and it is more of a why than a how to but this is where I wanted to post it since we do more serious discussions here.

Why is it that some men just can't seem to cum from a blow job? This is something that has been a topic of conversation for me and several of my friends lately.

Any ideas of why it is? Or how to get a man past that so that he does?

I guess that last question does make it a how to doesn't it?

Well, I can't speak for eveyone out there, but the times that I have found it difficult were when I wasn't sure if she wanted it to happen. She hadn't expressed her desire to have me cum that way. Another time was when she didn't know exactly what she was doing, and it wasn't getting me any closer.

That's just my 2 cents.
Charley

 

[Missingmeds]

Thanks Charley for your insight.

Now if the rest of the men that visit here would just be so forward and honest it would really help.

 

[ReadyOne]

Some guys provide themselves lots of heavy, fast, hard stimulation when they masturbate -- something that's hard for another person to reproduce, let alone constantly zero in on the places that feel best at the moment.

The counterthing is to go slow, very slow, stay away from the sweet spot, etc. and slowly ramp up/sneak up on the orgasm. Then the guy will be so ready that the stimulation a partner can give will be enough.

Think PIV. It's not just the head that getting rubbed and squeezed. So leave it alone until later...

 

[midwestyankee]

Thanks Charley for your insight.

Now if the rest of the men that visit here would just be so forward and honest it would really help.

OK. I think that sdcharley2004 explained it pretty well. Many of us have had experiences where we either knew it would be unwelcome if we finished off in her mouth or suspected it would be. So these experiences trained us, you might say.

Of course, there is always the possibility of teaching an old dog a new trick, but sometimes that takes a new dog on the other end.

 

[cygx1]

Great Unknown

Not usually one to post a reply, kinda shy...BUT...

In all honesty I have no idea WHY I can't. Personally, I have only been able to cum from a blowjob a couple of times. I am beginning to see this as a blessing though. The amount of pleasure that can be brought and then I can keep going without a break...really fun.

Just my $0.02 but I hope it gives some insight from a male perspective.

 

[Missingmeds]

Thank you gentlemen and I knew that Lit was the place to ask this one.

Please keep the discussion going...after all you never know who might be reading it.

 

[dreamer]

It's a pressure/speed thing. Difficult to dupilcate with oral stimulation alone. Now a blow job with hands...now that works.

 

[Missingmeds]

OK. I think that sdcharley2004 explained it pretty well. Many of us have had experiences where we either knew it would be unwelcome if we finished off in her mouth or suspected it would be. So these experiences trained us, you might say.

Of course, there is always the possibility of teaching an old dog a new trick, but sometimes that takes a new dog on the other end.

I was not going to go here mwy, but I decided why not...where is the old dog that this new dog can teach new tricks?

 

[ethicalslut]

The guy I'm currently with, despite claiming that my bjs are the best ever (ummmm, thanks), rarely comes from oral alone. His reasoning (and I believe him) is just what others have said here... he require more friction and pressure than I can humanly provide for an extended period without locking my jaw into an unholy position.

Add some hands, though... he's mine.

Also, I agree... some guys have a conscious or unconscious nervousness about cumming in a girls mouth, or even elsewhere in front of her.

 

[sdcharley2004]

teaching an old dog

OK. I think that sdcharley2004 explained it pretty well. Many of us have had experiences where we either knew it would be unwelcome if we finished off in her mouth or suspected it would be. So these experiences trained us, you might say.

Of course, there is always the possibility of teaching an old dog a new trick, but sometimes that takes a new dog on the other end.

As for teaching an old dog new tricks, some women I've met and others I've been with, just flat out do not like the taste at all. Will do everything up to a point....then they want it as far away from their mouth as possible.... so I think it's also the ladies half to let their partner know what is and what is not okay.

Just adding to the pot.
Charley

 

[Missingmeds]

A very good point Charley...just like I am not a mind reader (I know it seems that way sometimes). Neither are men, and I do tell ahead of time just so that my partner knows.

 

[honestone]

In the begining it was because I was embaressed to say what and how I wanted it and liked it. As I became more experienced there were some of my partners who were very willing but lacked imagination and some who were shy and/ or thought it was dirty or maybe cheap so they were halfharted about it. Some just didn't want me cum in there mouth. Alas we all know about the most told lies.

Now that I am older and more experienced I just say what I want and work it until and if I want to. I like it deep and hard with a lot of hand action. The more enthusiasm the better. I find that most exciting.

 

[TirelessTongue]

As a man, I have to say that every man is different. There were times when I had women who couldn't give head to save their life, and didn't listen to the tips I gave them. It also depends on the guy himself whether or not he is the type to tell his mate what she is doing wrong. Again, it depends on whats going through a guys head that can make him not come.

 

[Bobmi357]

Some men can't orgasm from oral alone. I am not one of those poor unfortunates.

The real reason has been hit upon by several people already. If you want your guy to come orally, ask that he refrain from masturbating for a few days. The heavy handed stimulation overwhelms the nerves. You cannot possibly apply as much pressure with your mouth as you can with your hand.

Personally I am somewhat mystified by women that give a blow using their hands. Other than to hold me, my wife does not use her hands at all. A blow job with hands is a hand job with a little oral action thrown in for good measure. More likely however the guy isn't feeling the mouth/tongue at all because her hands are providing far more stimulation than the mouth and tongue can provide.

An orgasm that derives entirely from a blow job is entirely different than one from PIV sex, or from a hand job. Its a slowly building process taking a lot longer than a usual orgasm. Its almost as if she IS sucking the orgasm up from the balls into the penis. And while I wouldn't want to live on a steady diet of blowjobs alone, its uniqueness and difference is enough to be highly desireable. On the other hand, once I've come from a blowjob, I'm totally wiped out. Its like every bit of energy has been pulled from my body.

Guys, if you want to come from a blowjob, stop wanking the weiner for a week. Then watch your woman, there's no more power erotic image than watching your woman take you into her mouth.

Ladies, if the thought of swallowing, makes you queasy, have a towel handy and spit it out when you're done. Any guy that insists you swallow isn't worth being with. Finish him with your mouth, but once he's done, he really shouldn't care what you do with it so long as you don't make it a big production number.

Blowjobs are great! If I could start my day by going down on my wife and her going down on me, and end my day making love to her, I'd really be in heaven.

 

[SlvrTongueDevil]

What puts me over the edge with verbal is her mouth ... and I'm talking her talking dirty. The stimulation is GREAT, but for me bj's are mostly the mental turn on.

 

[Derya]

I'm a female responding but

I think lots of the answers posted on the thread are obviously valid possibilities....the thing is with any partner if that is the case you need to discuss the topic to find out how to keep improving and enhancing the experience of oral sex and that's even if the ultimate goal isn't to necessarily get to where he orgasms from a blowjob alone.

In my experience I've only had one instance ever where I couldn't get the guy to cum over a really extended time and I think he had taken a medicinal enhancer before we got together like Viagra or something.

Again I learn something new everyday I'm a little surprised that a lot of people don't use their hands. I always have on the very base of the penis and the balls, but not so much to have friction and "give a combo hand/blow job" but to help provide constant pressure over the whole organ and for basic steadiness and balance while I'm giving head. Even with deep throating the real strength in giving a blow job is in my jaw muscles and tongue and only so much of the penis can be addressed with that at once. I guess whatever I do works well for the recipients as I have been told I give the best they ever had on more than one occasion.

 

[SlvrTongueDevil]

Re: I'm a female responding but

I think lots of the answers posted on the thread are obviously valid possibilities....the thing is with any partner if that is the case you need to discuss the topic to find out how to keep improving and enhancing the experience of oral sex and that's even if the ultimate goal isn't to necessarily get to where he orgasms from a blowjob alone.

In my experience I've only had one instance ever where I couldn't get the guy to cum over a really extended time and I think he had taken a medicinal enhancer before we got together like Viagra or something.

Again I learn something new everyday I'm a little surprised that a lot of people don't use their hands. I always have on the very base of the penis and the balls, but not so much to have friction and "give a combo hand/blow job" but to help provide constant pressure over the whole organ and for basic steadiness and balance while I'm giving head. Even with deep throating the real strength in giving a blow job is in my jaw muscles and tongue and only so much of the penis can be addressed with that at once. I guess whatever I do works well for the recipients as I have been told I give the best they ever had on more than one occasion.

you know that snowballing thing .... and now this? ... I'm heading to Georgia!!!

 

[warrior queen]

recently, i had the good fortune to give a guy his first ever cum from a bj.
in 37 years, he had never cum in a womans mouth, nor had he ever come on one.

the secret?
giving a bj, or deep-throating, is not just about the mouth.
it's about using every part of your body and mind, to stimulate every part of his body and mind.

it's about talking to him, licking, sucking, touching and stimulating all of him: penis, balls, anus, skin, nipples, brain, arms, legs, back, front....
and it's about really enjoying doing it.

for a guy, the ultimate is knowing deep down inside, that YOU adore doing every single thing to/for him.

get THAT right ladies, and he's all yours.

 

[Derya]

why GA?

I do love Smoltz and the Braves but ummmm I'm not in GA or was I mistaking your post I'm in VA and VA is for Lovers LOL

 

[Derya]

exactly

is not just about the mouth.
it's about using every part of your body and mind, to stimulate every part of his body and mind.

and it's about really enjoying doing it.

for a guy, the ultimate is knowing deep down inside, that YOU adore doing every single thing to/for him.

get THAT right ladies, and he's all yours.

Well said warrior queen I agree totally

 

[cg_allstar]

Re: I'm a female responding but

I think lots of the answers posted on the thread are obviously valid possibilities....the thing is with any partner if that is the case you need to discuss the topic to find out how to keep improving and enhancing the experience of oral sex and that's even if the ultimate goal isn't to necessarily get to where he orgasms from a blowjob alone.

In my experience I've only had one instance ever where I couldn't get the guy to cum over a really extended time and I think he had taken a medicinal enhancer before we got together like Viagra or something.

Again I learn something new everyday I'm a little surprised that a lot of people don't use their hands. I always have on the very base of the penis and the balls, but not so much to have friction and "give a combo hand/blow job" but to help provide constant pressure over the whole organ and for basic steadiness and balance while I'm giving head. Even with deep throating the real strength in giving a blow job is in my jaw muscles and tongue and only so much of the penis can be addressed with that at once. I guess whatever I do works well for the recipients as I have been told I give the best they ever had on more than one occasion.

 

[BirdsWife]

it's about talking to him, licking, sucking, touching and stimulating all of him: penis, balls, anus, skin, nipples, brain, arms, legs, back, front....
and it's about really enjoying doing it.

for a guy, the ultimate is knowing deep down inside, that YOU adore doing every single thing to/for him.

get THAT right ladies, and he's all yours.

Oh, yeah!! And that look on his face...you know, that look with his eyes half-closed in ecstasy, his tongue wetting his lips as his breathing grows heavier and he moans your name...THAT is such a precious sight to behold, isn't it?

 

[warrior queen]

Oh, yeah!! And that look on his face...you know, that look with his eyes half-closed in ecstasy, his tongue wetting his lips as his breathing grows heavier and he moans your name...THAT is such a precious sight to behold, isn't it?

... and that hiss just before he comes.......

reaches right inside and grabs a primal part of me - oooohhhhh yyyeeeessssss......................

 

[pplwatching]

giving a bj, or deep-throating, is not just about the mouth.
it's about using every part of your body and mind, to stimulate every part of his body and mind.

it's about talking to him, licking, sucking, touching and stimulating all of him: penis, balls, anus, skin, nipples, brain, arms, legs, back, front....
and it's about really enjoying doing it.

for a guy, the ultimate is knowing deep down inside, that YOU adore doing every single thing to/for him.

get THAT right ladies, and he's all yours.

Yup Yup. Technique & enthusiasm. Here's something I wrote in a journal a while back. Probably overkill for this discussion. Your milage may vary.

------

I learned pretty quickly that my wife is very good at sucking cock, has excellent technique, and enjoys doing it. I consider myself very lucky in that respect. I guess I should say something about what makes for good technique. Cock sucking is best when it’s a whole body experience. First there’s using her mouth and tongue in creative ways. The best blow jobs start with a kiss. Wet, teasing kisses are the best. Her making love to me with her mouth. She’s in control, teasing, exciting me, using my lips, chin, ear lobes to show me how exciting her mouth is. Silently telling me that my cock is in for a treat. “Here’s a taste of what I can do with my mouth. Let me get you excited, turned on, hot.” Her lips are busy building my excitement, but her fingers doing a delicious dance on my nipples.

It drives me wild when her hot mouth replaces her fingers. She licks my nipples, one then the other. Then sucking one into her mouth, then nipping and pulling at it with her teeth while her fingers work on the other nipple. A good cock sucker has to pay attention to how turned on I am, and my wife is a very good cock sucker. I help her out with my moans, sighs, and sometimes even verbal treats and suggestions. When I’m really worked up I love her to be rough, pinching hard and pulling my nipples away from my chest. “Mmmm, that feels so good. Harder. Ummm, my whole body is on fire. Harder. Ohhh, God that feels great. I love you.” Other times I’m happy with a light touch. Then when I can’t wait any longer to feel her hot mouth on my cock, I gently guide her downward.

I really enjoy the feel of a very wet tongue licking around the base of my cock, around my balls, up the shaft and around the head. It’s quite delicious to feel very sloppy wet kisses and licks. I really enjoy the wet part. Lots of saliva for me, please. I’ve read a few stories that talk about flicking a tongue over the head, but that doesn’t do anything for me. There’s something remarkable about the moment when she first slides her mouth down over my cock after teasing and licking me. The velvety feel of her tongue and cheeks enveloping my cock is indescribably erotic and always makes me shiver with pleasure. I’d say that the most exquisitely electric part of her technique is that she doesn’t just suck. She fucks me with her mouth. Her mouth is like a second cunt made for pleasing me in the most delightful ways. Her hot, wet mouth slides up and down my cock. A warm, wet second pussy teasing me with sensations that are nothing like the feeling of her cunt caressing my cock when we fuck. She varies the amount of contact she has between her mouth and my cock, like nothing I’ll ever feel when my cock is in her cunt fucking her. Sometimes I’m moaning in pleasure as she wraps her tongue and mouth around my cock. Lightly sucking. Nice. Sometimes sucking hard like she can’t wait to have my semen in her mouth even before I cum. Then I’m writhing in orgasmic bliss as she relaxes her mouth. God. My favorite. No sucking. Just her velvet mouth-cunt, wet and hot. Bathing my cock in waves of orgasmic pleasure. Washing my cock with her tongue. Then lightly sucking. Relaxed again, she’s just barely in contact with my cock, her hot breath caressing my cock as the her velvet tongue and cheeks coax more pre-cum from my cock. When her jaw starts to get tired, her mouth slides over the tip of my cock and her hand begins to stroke the shaft.

She knows how my body is reacting to her efforts. She feels the orgasm rolling through my in waves, body tensing slightly then relaxing, then tensing again. As my body tenses for another wave of pleasure she slides my cock deep into her mouth and down her throat. Fuck. My wife is the only gal who’s given me the pleasure of deep-throat. She’s good. If I’m on the edge, I’ll cum. If I’m lucky I don’t cum. I just move on to another plateau of pleasure. It’s like a tidal wave of pleasure washing over me until she slides my cock back out of her mouth. Kissing, licking, sucking, hot velvet until she takes me inside of her again. It’s pretty amazing to watch my cock slide into her that deep.

My favorite way to cum during oral sex is actually not when she has me in her throat. When I cum, the tip of my cock is very sensitive. I love to cum when she’s got her mouth gently caressing the shaft of my cock. No pressure on the tip, please. Umm. Pressing her lips together. Coaxing the cum from me. The hot feeling of warm cum mixed with her saliva bathing my cock. Then sliding out of her mouth. Her warm tongue bathing my cock again. Cleaning up the mess.