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MG's Dubious Dictionary

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BOOPTIC: Ox-eyed.* E.g. "Now, I'm not saying Ms Cosgrove is booptic, but she can watch a tennis match without moving her head."

BORBORIGMUS: Intestinal sounds.* "Listen, Harold. My transverse colon is singing the tenor part of the Love Duet from "Madama Butterfly."

BOTRYOIDAL: Like a bunch of grapes.* A distinctive type of hemorrhoid formation which is much admired as a sign of machismo in some Latin American cultures.

BOSSELATED: Knobby.* E.g. "Hoot mon! Yon Angus has the most bosselated knees ever I laid eyes on."
 
BOULT: To sift through cloth. To examine by sifting.* Yet another method of recovering used corn from excrement. Required for preparation of certain Norwegian pastries.

BOURREE: French baroque dance which requires that the genitalia of the gentleman be worn on the right.

BOUSTROPHEDON: Writing alternating left-right then right-left.* Considered an unbreakable code in Arkansas.

BRACHIATION: Swinging by one's arms from place to place.* George! Watch out for that tree!
 
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BRACHYCATALECTIC: Lacking two syllables from the end of a verse.* E.g. "Shit, Leonard! I damn near had me a haiku composed, but it done gone all brachycatalectic on me, jist two syllables from the end. Oh well, four outa seven ain't bad."

BOYG: A problem difficult to get to grips with.* E.g. "That's quite a boyg you've got into there, Bobby. I think you used too much Vaseline."

BRACCATE: Having feathered legs.* "You're lucky Wanda. All you gotta do is shave every couple days. I have to go get plucked twice a week."

BRAXY: Disease of sheep causing fits.* In Australia, often mistaken for orgasmic frenzy.
 
BRACHYDACTYLOUS: Having short or stubby fingers.* E.g. "Ya know, Roy, Linda May invited me ta play stank fanger with her last night, but I couldn't git past the damn hair. I must be brachydactylous."

BRACKISH: Saltish; very salty.* E.g. "Joe Bob, yer an experienced man, an' I need ta ax ya a question. Is it jist Cindy, or do all bearded clams taste brackish?"

BRACKLE: To break bread or cake into pieces.* E.g. "Jesus, Mary Lou! Ain't ya never gonna larn ta cook? I tried to brackle this here cake ya baked, and I had to use a fuggin' fire axe."

BRANSLE: An old French follow-the-leader dance.* It becomes quite festive when the lead dancer pisses in the punch bowl and everyone else (including the ladies) must follow suit.
 
BRELOQUE: An ornament attached to a watch.* In Arkansas, a radial truck tire is a favorite.

BREAM: To clean a ship's bottom by burning off seaweed.* Transexual men have tried this method to clean their bottoms by burning off hair. Results have been mixed, and several tragic fires have resulted when the procedure is used following a bean meal.

BRADAWL: Tiny boring tool.* E.g. "Hey, Timmy, did you notice the bradawl Uncle Michael had in his pajama pants during our sleepover at his ranch?"

BREVIARY: Book containing daily church service.* E.g. "Good grief, Martha! It says here in the breviary that Father Flanagan is to service the altar boy today. That should be worth staying to see."
 
BRIDOON: Light military bridle.* Widely used during the Civil War when the Major wished to play "horsie" with the drummer boy.

BRILLIANTINE: Perfumed oil for making hair glossy.* E.g. "I know that Jose is a greaser by birth, but I think his using that 80 wt. brilliantine is overdoing it just a bit."

BROBDINGNAGIAN: Immense.* E.g. "Come over and see me some time, Mr Gulliver. Don't forget to bring along that brobdingnagian tonker of yours that I've heard so much about."

BROMOPNEA: Bad breath.* E.g. "I hate to mention this, Howard, but your breath smells like mildewed restroom carpet."
 
BRUNNEOUS: Dark brown.* E.g. "I bought you something today, dear. You should be able to wear these brunneous jockeys for an entire day without noticeable streaking. Please do try, will you?"

BUBONALGIA: Painful inflammation of the groin.* This one is just too easy for a professional lexicographer. The Editor has decided to let the reader supply his/her own clarification or quotation.

BULBIFEROUS: Bearing bulbs.* E.g. "Doctor, it's about my son Clarence. Is it natural for an eight year old to be bulbiferous? His bulbs are larger and hairier than his father's."

BROMIDROSIS: Strong-smelling sweat.* "Don't worry Mr Cosgrove, your wife will come around in a moment. One whiff of my armpit will awaken someone who's been dead for a week."
 
BUCCINA: Roman trumpet.* E.g. "Here, Lucius, let me just move my toga aside, and you can give my buccina a good old Latin toot."

BUCK-AND WING: Solo tap dance with many leg flings and leaps.* Especially vigorous when, just prior to the performance, an assistant inserts a large jalapeno into the dancer's rectum.

BUFONIFORM: Shaped like a toad.* Dr Wilcox, the a very nice professor who taught Advanced Differential Equations during the Editor's undergraduate days.

BULIMY: Extreme hunger.* E.g. "Goddam, Herman, Ahm so fuggin' hongry I could eat the ass out of a diseased skunk."
 
BULLA: Round seal attached to a papal bull.* E.g. "You hold onto the ring in his nose, Bishop, and I'll try to nail this bulla to his ass. I've never understood why the Holy Father can't just have a nice cat. Must have something to do with being a Polak."

BULLARY: Collection of papal bulls.* E.g. "Faith an' begorra, Monsignor, the Holy Father must have two dozen of the great beasties! Sure an' tis no wonder the Castle Gondolfo always smells o' bullshite."

BUMPTIOUS: Offensively conceited.* E.g. "There he goes again, Trog. That damn Ompa thinks he's so fuggin' superior, just because he has a forehead. I tell ya, that's a dead-end, evolution-wise."

BURGAGE: Tenure in socage for yearly rent.* Another word about which the Committee (q.v) should be closely questioned. (Ed.)
 
*** End of the Bees!! ***

BURGEE: Small ship's flag used for identification.* When the burgee is flown, it means, "Yes, this is a ship." When it is absent, the enlisted ranks may mistake the ship for a suburb of Cleveland or a privy.

BURSIFORM: Shaped like a pouch.* E.g. "Oh, sure, Sidney has a nice bursiform appendage between his legs. Only problem is, it's empty."

BURGANET: Light helmet with nose and cheek protection.* Designed to protect the cabin boy if a drunken captain becomes abusive whilst being blown.

BUTYRACEOUS: Resembline, producing, or having the qualities of butter.* E.g. "Gorsh, Earline, ya even gots purty feet. They smells downright butyraceous. Thet's a word I larned when Grandma left a full churn out in the sun fer a few days."
 
End of the bees? You've barely begun bees.

BUBONICS: The study of "plague-speak," a form of language derived from English and common to bubonic plague victims, who typically lived in the crowded inner cities. Considered by many to be a dying language, bubonic English is distinguished by the use of expletives spoken at decreasing volume, followed by several days of moaning. Unlike the "romance languages," this one is accompanied by boils.
 
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Thank you shereads for breaking up the procession of MG's avs.

The sight of a line of bonking kangaroos is (expletive deleted).

BROBDINGNAGIAN. I cavil at the definition given above. In Brobdingnag Mr Lemuel Gulliver's peter would be described as Lilliputian. I am unaware from my perusal of Mr Swift's work that Mr Gulliver's appendage was anything other than of normal dimensons except, of course, when he was in Lilliput.

The effect of the sight of his appendage on the ladies of Lilliput is recounted in one of the manuscripts currently awaiting the editor's attention.

Og
 
I believe I've seen a drawing like that, with 4-5 Lilliputian women dancing around a man-meat Midsummer Pole.
 
Venerable Og,

They are not bonking, the Kangaroo is saying to the little boy, "You give me the peanuts, and I'll store them in here for later."

Will's :D
 
The Cs! Praise God, at last the Cs!!!

oggbashan said:
BROBDINGNAGIAN. I cavil at the definition given above.
Click to expand...
Dear Og,
The definition is quite correct. I merely wished to bring LG's name and "brobdingnagian" together in the same sentence to demonstrate that I knew whence the name derived.
MG
Ps. So sorry my AV offends.
Pps. )^(%*$!! critics!
Ppps. Please feel free to cavil until your ass falls off.

BUSS: Playful kiss.* An unfortunate word with often tragic consequences. Many a poor dyslectic has stood at the side of the street expecting a little kiss, only to be run down by the No. 7 Local.

CABALLINE: Pertaining to or suited to a horse. E.g. "Naw, I ain't never said that Lena's caballine. I jist mentioned that she wears a saddle so gracefully."

CACHET: A seal of approval.* E.g. "I never said that Bonita Sue is bovine. I merely pointed out that she has "USDA Choice" cachet branded on the left cheek of her ass."

CACCHINATE: To laugh loudly and inappropriately.* E.g. "Timmy, please don't casshinate when your father farts loudly during the sermon. It just encourages him."

Ps. Hay, Svenska: You're closer. Please go give Og a sharp kick in the butt. I can't stand cavilers. They wear big hats with feathers, high boots, and carry thin swords. Besides, the noise of that constant caviling irritates my cat.
Thanks, MG

Pps. Wills: They ARE bonking, and that's a little GIRL. Haysoos!
MG
 
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MathGirl bring your Avs back... please!

Dear MG,

What I was trying to imply by criticism of your repeated AV was that public response to your esteemed efforts had been sparse.

I have been as guilty as others of not expressing appreciation.

I recognise bonking kangaroos when I see them.

**** Dr Swift. I'm beginning to post like him as well.

So please:

1. Will members of the AH respond to MG's efforts
2. Will MG replace her AV. I like the one with her aunt but any except toothy would be acceptable.

Og the cavalier, caviller or whatever.
 
MG, before you ask for favours, do make sure you haven't insulted the one you're askign the favour from. A weird rule, but that's the way it is.

*sticks nose in the air*
 
BOILS: Painful sores seen in conjunction with the speaking of "Bubonics." (see prev.); What water does when its atoms are divided.
 
BOILS: The result of using Skivving Snack Boxes before they're fully developed. Makes riding a broomstick a pain in the...

Love,

Fred & George Weasley
 
Off-Topic Alert - Please scroll past this post if you are topic-sensitive.

What is a Skivving Snack Box? And what happens when it fully develops?
 
Don't patronise ME, Og.

oggbashan said:
1. Will members of the AH respond to MG's efforts
2. Will MG replace her AV. I like the one with her aunt but any except toothy would be acceptable.
Click to expand...
Dear Og,
1. Leave my goddamn thread alone.
2. Thanks ever so much for the AV advice.
In a snit, lovin' the snit I'm in,
MG

CACODEMOMANIA: Pathological belief that one is inhabited by an evil spirit.* E.g. "I tell ya, Homer, I got me an evil spirit. His name is William, he lives in my spleen, and he wears loud Hawaiian shirts with bermuda shorts, black sox, and dress shoes. Is that evil, or what?"

CABOCHED: Heraldic animal shown in full face with no neck or body." E.g. "A flaming sword, the scales of justice, lion rampant, and hippo caboched."

CACOLET: Military mule litter.* Generally cleaned up by a cacoletador, an enlisted man with a shovel and wheelbarrow.

CACOTOPIA: A state in which everyting is as bad as it can be.* This is generally followed by a state in which things get much worse.
 
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shereads said:
Off-Topic Alert - Please scroll past this post if you are topic-sensitive.

What is a Skivving Snack Box? And what happens when it fully develops?
Click to expand...

Magic candy that makes you ill, so that you have to skip class in order to go to the Hospital Wing - except you don't you just go out in the hallway, eat an antidote, get well, and then have a lot of free time to do something funier than study.

Available at Weasley Wizard Wheezes, Diagon Alley, London.
 
Svenskaflicka said:
MG, before you ask for favours, do make sure you haven't insulted the one you're askign the favour from.
Click to expand...
Dear Svenska,
I'm terribly sorry if I insulted you untentionally. It's so much more satisfying when I do it on purpose.
Your pal,
MG
 
You called me "weird". Now DM has it as a part of his sig line. *pout, pout*

Where's my Midol?:mad:
 
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