Naughty quotes

[glasspenguin]

Th' expense of spirit in a waste of shame
Is lust in action, and till action, lust
Is perjur'd, murd'rous, bloody, full of blame,
Savage, extreme, rude, cruel, not to trust,
Enjoy'd no sooner but despisèd straight,
Past reason hunted, and no sooner had,
Past reason hated as a swallowed bait
On purpose laid to make the taker mad. . . .

William Shakespeare
"Sonnet 129," 1–8


(Wherein "spirit" means spooge )

 

[Vikarius]

Shakespeare didnt write this:

"I take my coffee how I take my men, black."

Barbara Billingsley (yes, Beaver's mom) in the movie Airplane.

 

[glasspenguin]

"I take my coffee how I take my men, black."

Barbara Billingsley (yes, Beaver's mom) in the movie Airplane.

Actually, the little girl said that- Barbra Billingsley was the jive talking grandmother. How freaky is it that you posted that while I was watching that movie and right at that scene too? What are the odds?

But, in the interest of kindly old ladies with filthy mouths...


"This is where if I had a dick I'd tell you to suck it."
Betty White (Lake Placid)

 

[Vikarius]

Actually, the little girl said that- Barbra Billingsley was the jive talking grandmother. How freaky is it that you posted that while I was watching that movie and right at that scene too? What are the odds?

But, in the interest of kindly old ladies with filthy mouths...


"This is where if I had a dick I'd tell you to suck it."
Betty White (Lake Placid)

I accept your correction with much gratitude. That certainly is a coincidence. Obviously, I wasn't watching....

I think I just wanted the Beav's mom to be saying it!

Betty White! Awe-inspiring....

 

[glasspenguin]

I accept your correction with much gratitude. That certainly is a coincidence. Obviously, I wasn't watching....

I think I just wanted the Beav's mom to be saying it!

Betty White! Awe-inspiring....

I can't remember her exactly quote, but when they did the William Shatner roast a few years ago she had a zinger about catching the cock ring at Sulu's wedding and I nearly peed my pants laughing at it... I wish I could remember what it was...

Incidentally, I don't blame you for wanting Mrs. Cleaver to say it. Maybe it's just me, but she was kinda hot on the old shows...

 

[Inrhapsody]

I can't remember her exactly quote, but when they did the William Shatner roast a few years ago she had a zinger about catching the cock ring at Sulu's wedding and I nearly peed my pants laughing at it... I wish I could remember what it was...

Incidentally, I don't blame you for wanting Mrs. Cleaver to say it. Maybe it's just me, but she was kinda hot on the old shows...

http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0S0201pBm1KiUUAdD2jzbkF/SIG=122rlqaur/EXP=1248745449/**http%3A//tvphotogalleries.com/data/657/1lb15.jpg
There you go boys..

 

[Vikarius]

I can't remember her exactly quote, but when they did the William Shatner roast a few years ago she had a zinger about catching the cock ring at Sulu's wedding and I nearly peed my pants laughing at it... I wish I could remember what it was...

Incidentally, I don't blame you for wanting Mrs. Cleaver to say it. Maybe it's just me, but she was kinda hot on the old shows...

Yes! So hot! You are a kindred soul, sir.

 

[Vikarius]

http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0S0201pBm1KiUUAdD2jzbkF/SIG=122rlqaur/EXP=1248745449/**http%3A//tvphotogalleries.com/data/657/1lb15.jpg
There you go boys..

How kind!

I have a prettier girl on my phone.....

 

[Inrhapsody]

How kind!

I have a prettier girl on my phone.....

What??? You have Betty White on your phone? wow....

 

[Vikarius]

http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0S0201pBm1KiUUAdD2jzbkF/SIG=122rlqaur/EXP=1248745449/**http%3A//tvphotogalleries.com/data/657/1lb15.jpg
There you go boys..

...shall I be the first to make a comment about a pearl necklace?

 

[Inrhapsody]

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
George Carlin

 

[Inrhapsody]

...shall I be the first to make a comment about a pearl necklace?

hahahaha...I came this close to saying it.

 

[reesecup]

The psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty and I said, 'It is if you're doing it right.' -Woody Allen

 

[Inrhapsody]

When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
George Carlin

 

[Inrhapsody]

Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

 

[Inrhapsody]

The psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty and I said, 'It is if you're doing it right.' -Woody Allen

hahaha..good one

 

[cliteatingman]

Sampson.
'Tis all one, I will show myself a tyrant:
when I have fought with the men I will be cruel with the maids,
I will cut off their heads.


Gregory.
The heads of the maids?


Sampson.
Ay, the heads of the maids, or their maidenheads;
take it in what sense thou wilt.


Gregory.
They must take it in sense that feel it.


Sampson.
Me they shall feel while I am able to stand:
and 'tis known I am a pretty piece of flesh.


Romeo and Juliet ACT I. Scene I.

 

[Lorilei]

Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

I don't like this one.

 

[reesecup]

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is." --Barbara Bush

 

[Inrhapsody]

I don't like this one.

Oh gulp..sorry

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
George Carlin

 

[Inrhapsody]

Is that a double...the William S and the signature, which is nasty on it's own.

Sampson.
'Tis all one, I will show myself a tyrant:
when I have fought with the men I will be cruel with the maids,
I will cut off their heads.


Gregory.
The heads of the maids?


Sampson.
Ay, the heads of the maids, or their maidenheads;
take it in what sense thou wilt.


Gregory.
They must take it in sense that feel it.


Sampson.
Me they shall feel while I am able to stand:
and 'tis known I am a pretty piece of flesh.


Romeo and Juliet ACT I. Scene I.

 

[Lorilei]

Oh gulp..sorry

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
George Carlin

LOL. *hug*

 

[texasace]

yes...yes..True Dat (starting to get back in the attitude to go hang with 14 year olds)

Are you saying you wanna hang out with 14 year old boys????

 

[PenforPrez]

"Here's a piece of poetry--it isn't exactly poetry. It's more prose--and cons.

"I kissed her lips
"And then just for meanness
"She twisted her legs
"And broke my glasses"

--Redd Foxx

 

[Inrhapsody]

Are you saying you wanna hang out with 14 year old boys????

roflmao...NOOO, well yes. I teach them, like in school.