Need advice about sister

[CelticFrog]

Re: Re: Re: Groan...

Hmm.. well I'm not sure about the first two, but I have an idea about the clock. I bet you have a good friend with one of those nice big Grandfather clocks, which is really close to her kitchen. I'm sure it wouldn't be too hard to get some action from

*lol*

- J

God, I don't know if I should laugh hysterically or groan and roll my eyes...

I think, somehow, in regards to the screen door sex, maybe we're supposed to attach the screwdriver at a perpendicular angle to the screen door once we've used it to remove said door. Or maybe in that case the door doesn't need to be removed?

Ang

 

[sheath]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Groan...

I think, somehow, in regards to the screen door sex, maybe we're supposed to attach the screwdriver at a perpendicular angle to the screen door once we've used it to remove said door. Or maybe in that case the door doesn't need to be removed?

Ang

This could get VERY interesting.

S.

 

[Mskey]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Groan...

God, I don't know if I should laugh hysterically or groan and roll my eyes...

I think, somehow, in regards to the screen door sex, maybe we're supposed to attach the screwdriver at a perpendicular angle to the screen door once we've used it to remove said door. Or maybe in that case the door doesn't need to be removed?

Ang

Now you're thinking Ang!! Now for those preferr Girth to length you can always just leave the doorknob in tact, but it does make for tricky positioning during the " fall" part of the encounter and I don't recommend it for anal ....yooooowch!!!

You know the sad thing is that there's probably somebody out there at this very minute who is seriously trying to figure out the logistics involved in " screen door sex"! I mean does anyone besides me remember the Tree Sex thread?

 

[CelticFrog]

Oh MY God.

I have to find that thread again. I had almost forgotten about it.

I worry about whoever actually tries this. Then again, trying to seduce your gas stove (my next philosophical quandary!) is maybe not so mild either.

Ang

 

[Mskey]

Oh MY God.

I have to find that thread again. I had almost forgotten about it.

I worry about whoever actually tries this. Then again, trying to seduce your gas stove (my next philosophical quandary!) is maybe not so mild either.

Ang

A GAS STOVE!!! Ang you're scaring me darlin'!

 

[CelticFrog]

Heh heh heh...

Okay, so I don't really want to seduce it. Maybe a quick fuck and some light cuddling?

It's a good thing this is all typed or you'd have to watch me be totally unable to maintain a straight face.


Ang

 

[Limbhugger]

Now I don't know about screen doors but take it from someone who has been there Ang, you do not want to fuck your gas stove! First they will NOT cuddle with you when it is over. They take what they want and then just sit there. They are also lousy lovers.

I would also recommend avoiding and relations with the washing machine. They're almost always egotistical bastards with all their "look what I can do vibrating and such." And they will NEVER EVER leave the dryer no matter how much you beg.

I think what you want is a nice table lamp. They are witty, somewhat demure, warm, and giving.

 

[sheath]

Now I don't know about screen doors but take it from someone who has been there Ang, you do not want to fuck your gas stove! First they will NOT cuddle with you when it is over. They take what they want and then just sit there. They are also lousy lovers.

I would also recommend avoiding and relations with the washing machine. They're almost always egotistical bastards with all their "look what I can do vibrating and such." And they will NEVER EVER leave the dryer no matter how much you beg.

I think what you want is a nice table lamp. They are witty, somewhat demure, warm, and giving.

LMAO

That has got to be the greatest post I've seen in a while.

S.

 

[CelticFrog]

God, that was hilarious.

What about a washer/dryer threesome? Hmmmmmmm?


Ang

 

[Noor]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Groan...

I mean does anyone besides me remember the Tree Sex thread?

I LOVED the tree sex thread, I actually used it to pull a bunch of my rl friends into lit. And the absolutely horrible puns! and Bash,

FUCK IT, I MISS BASH


yes, I do remember the tree sex thread.

Noor

 

[bobsgirl]

Now I don't know about screen doors but take it from someone who has been there Ang, you do not want to fuck your gas stove! First they will NOT cuddle with you when it is over. They take what they want and then just sit there. They are also lousy lovers.

I would also recommend avoiding and relations with the washing machine. They're almost always egotistical bastards with all their "look what I can do vibrating and such." And they will NEVER EVER leave the dryer no matter how much you beg.

I think what you want is a nice table lamp. They are witty, somewhat demure, warm, and giving.

Large appliances can be fickle bastards.

 

[Mskey]

Large appliances can be fickle bastards.

Yes they can, but I think with a little creative re-wiring and a six strip outlet or two you could damn near have an orgy going on of course if you really stop and think about it a hooker might be cheaper in the long run....think about the electric bill people!!

 

[ABN_Ranger]

Ok... I tried to fight the urge... but Ang insisted that I give in to the dark side... so here we go, Why not seduce oh i don't know... a power drill... Or how about a Jackhammer... Or even better... one of those Wal-Mart special Sno-Cone makers? And for those of you who know the story... F-16 parts. Ask and I'll explain (true story told to me by a friend... you know who you are)

 

[sheath]

Ok... I tried to fight the urge... but Ang insisted that I give in to the dark side... so here we go, Why not seduce oh i don't know... a power drill... Or how about a Jackhammer... Or even better... one of those Wal-Mart special Sno-Cone makers? And for those of you who know the story... F-16 parts. Ask and I'll explain (true story told to me by a friend... you know who you are)

I'm asking, on behalf of all those who don't know yet.

So explain...



S.

 

[ABN_Ranger]

Okie... here we go... my best friend here in the hell hole the Air Force calls the 389th AMU, was in Italy for 2 years. He had a friend there, who turned a three thousand dollar part for an F-16 into a sex toy. It was the Pitot Probe, they sit on the nose of the jet and give the pilot all sorts of info. Anywho... the probe on hers got bent, the avionics monkeys switched it out. The pitot probe is about 18 to 24 inches long and about 1 and a half inches in diameter and made out of stainless steel. She took it out of the trash, took it home and dipped it in that latex dip you can get for coating handles of wrenches, pliars and other tools with. Y'all can do the rest of the math. I'm trying to figure out how to get a few for a couple of ladies who said they really want one too. You know who you are gals.

J

 

[sheath]

I'm trying to figure out how to get a few for a couple of ladies who said they really want one too. You know who you are gals.

J

God Almighty...

Where do I sign up?

OH, wait...I think I already have...

S.

 

[ABN_Ranger]

hehe... well you've already got a hat waiting here for ya. Never underestimate the power of a sneaky ranger turned crew chief babe. Ya might end up surprised or in some rare cases.. deported.

 

[sheath]

hehe... well you've already got a hat waiting here for ya. Never underestimate the power of a sneaky ranger turned crew chief babe. Ya might end up surprised or in some rare cases.. deported.

LMAO!

Shit, I just laughed so hard I woke up the kids!



S.

 

[ABN_Ranger]

D'OH! My bad... for now on... I'm gonna place the no eating or drinking disclaimer before i post stuff.

 

[thickspear]

what

 

[ABN_Ranger]

Yeah... sex talk is good, sex is better though... espescially if you have a partner.

 

[CelticFrog]

what ?...ever since i turned 30 i've known that someday i would stop understanding what the younger adults were saying...i was following this thread and then i stopped comprehending it altogether...can we get back to sex talk ?...

damn...if we were already talking about sex don't tell me...i'd prefer to think i'm still with it...i don't mind getting older...well, at least i understand it's a one way passage...

Amazingly enough, I'm not entirely sure we've delved that far away from sex talk during this whole thread. Mind you, it's been largely facetious and speculative. Which, thankfully, makes for a much more fun thread than bitching at someone for their disgusting request for help.

Oh, and here's a picture that shows the Pitot Probe better (since J doesn't really remember that not everyone knows every part of an F-16).

Ang

 

[Mskey]

I've always joked that those things looked phallic, but I guess somebody finally took it to heart.
And we thought regular sex toys were expensive!!

 

[CelticFrog]

I've been wondering (seriously) what else someone would want to coat in that latex dip stuff for a toy.

Hell, if you're going to throw away a part like that (I don't think they're thrown away anymore... *sigh*) you might as well put it to good use.

So... if it was broken, and you were about to throw it away, what would you consider coating in the spiffy latex dip to play with?

Serious question.

Ang

 

[thickspear]

a