New Poetry Recommendations
- Thread starter The Poets
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Dedicated to 1201(and not the poets reviewed)
Countdown to Green -
Submitted by Maria2394 (Non-Erotic Poetry) 02/23/11
Excellent poem, very subtle, but excellent utilization of formulaic elements. 'Equinox' is a word that is a pet peeve of mine. My only criticism on first read would be to say 'Equinox' without using the actual word.
February's Fear -
Submitted by Maria2394 (Non-Erotic Poetry) 02/23/11
I've adoration for this part:
She claimed she was content
but I heard the wind whisper
that in fact she was lying
And was filled with fear of falling
Word Games -
Submitted by Kaishaku (Poetry With Audio) 02/22/11
Repetitious, poetic, surrealist? I didn't really like the poem on first read and offhand can't think of any actual word games being played, maybe sound games. It was a poetry with audio, but I didn't listen to the audio because I don't like written poems recited. Maybe someone else can review the audio.
Throat Fucker -
Submitted by triara (Erotic Poetry) 02/22/11
As one might expect from the title, a poor description of asphyxiophilia.
Hot Men -
Submitted by britasiangirl (Erotic Poetry) 02/22/11
Not anything.
The Dress -
Submitted by Felix4fun (Erotic Poetry) 02/22/11
A dressed up erotic poem compared to the last two. Still, very basic in description. Okay by me.
Come Running -
Submitted by msmeow619 (Erotic Poetry) 02/22/11
Sounds more like lyrics to a contempo pop song than a poem. Not memorable lyrics either.
Possession is ninth tenths... -
Submitted by msmeow619 (Non-Erotic Poetry) 02/22/11
Simple rhymey old thymey, odd spacing between stanza. Something about a jacket and broken relationship.
Pretty Words -
Submitted by UnderYourSpell (Non-Erotic Poetry) 02/22/11
I'd expect more pretty images/words, but UYS goes with a simple melody in rejecting a suitor(?) Poems like this I appreciate for their simplicity. A poet such as msmeow619 has obviously written poems before, and her poem is very similar to UYS's. But the difference in level of skill is evident. MSmeow619 tries too hard to make her stanza look and sound like a poem, while UYS has already done the work necessary to be a competent poet every time out.
Wedding Picture (Glosa) -
Submitted by Angeline (Non-Erotic Poetry) 02/22/11
If you took out the title and had readers read and interpret, I don't know that they'd come up with a wedding scenario. So the argument would go, "You can't separate a poem from its title! The title does this this and that." But I'm just saying what I'm saying... However, this section was well crafted:
Crunch crunch my heels
tap stabbing veins
of snow sketched across
asphalt, a dark glittering
path. All is white
Approval Through Denial -
Submitted by vrosej10 (Erotic Poetry) 02/22/11
This line is a curiosity, "I grew rainbow chiffon wings." Because the rest of the poem is pretty straight forward. At first I assumed the wings just meant the bed beneath her back as she wriggled. What does rainbow mean?
Countdown to Green -
Submitted by Maria2394 (Non-Erotic Poetry) 02/23/11
Excellent poem, very subtle, but excellent utilization of formulaic elements. 'Equinox' is a word that is a pet peeve of mine. My only criticism on first read would be to say 'Equinox' without using the actual word.
February's Fear -
Submitted by Maria2394 (Non-Erotic Poetry) 02/23/11
I've adoration for this part:
She claimed she was content
but I heard the wind whisper
that in fact she was lying
And was filled with fear of falling
Word Games -
Submitted by Kaishaku (Poetry With Audio) 02/22/11
Repetitious, poetic, surrealist? I didn't really like the poem on first read and offhand can't think of any actual word games being played, maybe sound games. It was a poetry with audio, but I didn't listen to the audio because I don't like written poems recited. Maybe someone else can review the audio.
Throat Fucker -
Submitted by triara (Erotic Poetry) 02/22/11
As one might expect from the title, a poor description of asphyxiophilia.
Hot Men -
Submitted by britasiangirl (Erotic Poetry) 02/22/11
Not anything.
The Dress -
Submitted by Felix4fun (Erotic Poetry) 02/22/11
A dressed up erotic poem compared to the last two. Still, very basic in description. Okay by me.
Come Running -
Submitted by msmeow619 (Erotic Poetry) 02/22/11
Sounds more like lyrics to a contempo pop song than a poem. Not memorable lyrics either.
Possession is ninth tenths... -
Submitted by msmeow619 (Non-Erotic Poetry) 02/22/11
Simple rhymey old thymey, odd spacing between stanza. Something about a jacket and broken relationship.
Pretty Words -
Submitted by UnderYourSpell (Non-Erotic Poetry) 02/22/11
I'd expect more pretty images/words, but UYS goes with a simple melody in rejecting a suitor(?) Poems like this I appreciate for their simplicity. A poet such as msmeow619 has obviously written poems before, and her poem is very similar to UYS's. But the difference in level of skill is evident. MSmeow619 tries too hard to make her stanza look and sound like a poem, while UYS has already done the work necessary to be a competent poet every time out.
Wedding Picture (Glosa) -
Submitted by Angeline (Non-Erotic Poetry) 02/22/11
If you took out the title and had readers read and interpret, I don't know that they'd come up with a wedding scenario. So the argument would go, "You can't separate a poem from its title! The title does this this and that." But I'm just saying what I'm saying... However, this section was well crafted:
Crunch crunch my heels
tap stabbing veins
of snow sketched across
asphalt, a dark glittering
path. All is white
Approval Through Denial -
Submitted by vrosej10 (Erotic Poetry) 02/22/11
This line is a curiosity, "I grew rainbow chiffon wings." Because the rest of the poem is pretty straight forward. At first I assumed the wings just meant the bed beneath her back as she wriggled. What does rainbow mean?
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bronzeage
I am a river to my people
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Come Running by msmeow619
The opening line gives a hint the subject is an observed stranger and the speaker keeps the fantasy to herself. The only clue to the sex of speaker is the author's name, which is never a reliable indicator. The "stranger" image is contradicted in L8, when she is "Trying to ruin your resolve to keep control." This is someone she knows, at least well enough to recognize his need for control. The poem takes a strange turn at L13, "So sleep now while you have the opportunity." The speaker is watching someone while they sleep. Is the subject sleeping on a bus or train? Perhaps a burglar has found someone in the house. The burglar would have more privacy. It adds a bizarre element to the fantasy.
Ziggy Dwarfcrap by IrmaCerrutt
Several years ago I posted on a now defunct poetry board. We had a resident troll who thought he was a serious critic. He insisted poetry should be a flow of unrestrained words. Editing, reworking and making sense had no place in his world. A friend and I went into our spam filters and took some of the random strings of words found in spam emails and cut them into poetic lines. Then we analyzed and critiqued each other, as if the poem actually meant something. Our troll was delighted. He gave highest ratings to both pieces. This piece reads very much like those poems.
The opening line gives a hint the subject is an observed stranger and the speaker keeps the fantasy to herself. The only clue to the sex of speaker is the author's name, which is never a reliable indicator. The "stranger" image is contradicted in L8, when she is "Trying to ruin your resolve to keep control." This is someone she knows, at least well enough to recognize his need for control. The poem takes a strange turn at L13, "So sleep now while you have the opportunity." The speaker is watching someone while they sleep. Is the subject sleeping on a bus or train? Perhaps a burglar has found someone in the house. The burglar would have more privacy. It adds a bizarre element to the fantasy.
Ziggy Dwarfcrap by IrmaCerrutt
Several years ago I posted on a now defunct poetry board. We had a resident troll who thought he was a serious critic. He insisted poetry should be a flow of unrestrained words. Editing, reworking and making sense had no place in his world. A friend and I went into our spam filters and took some of the random strings of words found in spam emails and cut them into poetic lines. Then we analyzed and critiqued each other, as if the poem actually meant something. Our troll was delighted. He gave highest ratings to both pieces. This piece reads very much like those poems.
vrosej10
Questioning your sanity??
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Twist by bogusagain
Read this one sitting down. It has a physically disorientating effect.
http://www.literotica.com/p/twist-1
Jacaranda Blue by Lilacs
Good narrative poem with nice clean imagery.
http://www.literotica.com/p/jacaranda-blue
Read this one sitting down. It has a physically disorientating effect.
http://www.literotica.com/p/twist-1
Jacaranda Blue by Lilacs
Good narrative poem with nice clean imagery.
http://www.literotica.com/p/jacaranda-blue
GuiltyPleasure
AWTSS
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My choices today......She arrived..... and Falling out of Love both by vrosej10. I also want people to read Jacaranda Blue by Lilacs.
There are other worthy poems so please go and browse.
There are other worthy poems so please go and browse.
PhaonsBrother returns with Algeria and three February dictionary poems. Is sapphossister far behind?
http://www.literotica.com/p/february-stars-2
Hope Departs in February,
Departs as a delusive duenna,
In veneer a soldier’s tear,
February was...
a favourite among Kaatsberg apparitions
to bellow a rann written for a king
who'd die the same day of shame!
Those are just word games though. The best poem ever submitted to Lit appeared yesterday, and its title isn't "Best Poem Ever!" You numbskulls. The title is given before you begin your reading. It certainly has nothing to do with silly boys who spout nonsense on a messageboard. I just want to show you that glancing at a poem, most likely skimming, gives no credence to the hours and days and years spent on the poems people submit here and throughout the poetry universe. So if you think your helping someone out by skimming their poem once and jotting off two or three vague lines...you can't possibly be, as you haven't actually read their poem. Reading doesn't have to take as long as writing, but I'm sure no one took more than two minutes on this poem, when there's the distinct possibility that they'll never read anything like it again. This poem is about the difficulty of creation. It's my love letter to everyone who's ever attempted to write a really fantastic poem.
http://www.literotica.com/p/best-poem-ever
http://www.literotica.com/p/february-stars-2
Hope Departs in February,
Departs as a delusive duenna,
In veneer a soldier’s tear,
February was...
a favourite among Kaatsberg apparitions
to bellow a rann written for a king
who'd die the same day of shame!
Those are just word games though. The best poem ever submitted to Lit appeared yesterday, and its title isn't "Best Poem Ever!" You numbskulls. The title is given before you begin your reading. It certainly has nothing to do with silly boys who spout nonsense on a messageboard. I just want to show you that glancing at a poem, most likely skimming, gives no credence to the hours and days and years spent on the poems people submit here and throughout the poetry universe. So if you think your helping someone out by skimming their poem once and jotting off two or three vague lines...you can't possibly be, as you haven't actually read their poem. Reading doesn't have to take as long as writing, but I'm sure no one took more than two minutes on this poem, when there's the distinct possibility that they'll never read anything like it again. This poem is about the difficulty of creation. It's my love letter to everyone who's ever attempted to write a really fantastic poem.
http://www.literotica.com/p/best-poem-ever
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vrosej10
Questioning your sanity??
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Lying on Quantum Foam by Oneiria
This is a lovely, deep poem by a pretty consistent poet. It still needs work but is definitely worth a read.
http://www.literotica.com/p/lying-on-quantum-foam
Aries by Fridayam
This is another fine outing in his Zodiac series.
http://www.literotica.com/p/aries
This is a lovely, deep poem by a pretty consistent poet. It still needs work but is definitely worth a read.
http://www.literotica.com/p/lying-on-quantum-foam
Aries by Fridayam
This is another fine outing in his Zodiac series.
http://www.literotica.com/p/aries
butters
High on a Hill
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greenmountaineer's Why As a Boy He Stopped Writing Poems (and yes, that is a full ten syllables...)
friday's Playtime
as stinging as a graze, simple/subtle that captures the undercurrents of the playground.
friday's Playtime
as stinging as a graze, simple/subtle that captures the undercurrents of the playground.
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NeonSubtlety
I'm a guy. I promise.
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Oops.
Last edited:
vrosej10
Questioning your sanity??
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Envoi by Fridayam
A wonderful gut wrenching poem; this is how you do it properly!
http://www.literotica.com/p/envoi
Under an Alien Moon by Oneiria
Wow, this poem reminds me of the opening credits of Star Trek Voyager. It blew me away.
http://www.literotica.com/p/under-an-alien-moon
A wonderful gut wrenching poem; this is how you do it properly!
http://www.literotica.com/p/envoi
Under an Alien Moon by Oneiria
Wow, this poem reminds me of the opening credits of Star Trek Voyager. It blew me away.
http://www.literotica.com/p/under-an-alien-moon
twelveoone
ground zero
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Shield of Bronze
bybronzeage©
soon to be a movie staring Brad Pitt
I like this, mainly 'cause I have the license for the action figure
These days of punished generosity
are only thunder clouds, dwarfs in the sky,
I do wonder about those dwarfs in the sky
now if I can only figure out how to write something so I can put 1201 in the title
bybronzeage©
soon to be a movie staring Brad Pitt
I like this, mainly 'cause I have the license for the action figure
These days of punished generosity
are only thunder clouds, dwarfs in the sky,
I do wonder about those dwarfs in the sky
now if I can only figure out how to write something so I can put 1201 in the title
UnderYourSpell
Gerund Whore
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1201 ways to leave/kill/stalk/capture/woo your lover?
butters
High on a Hill
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i second
Shield of Bronze by bronzeage
call me old-fashioned, but most of us could use an old-fashioned hero from time to time... i'd use him well!
i'd also recommend people to go read this writer - oneiria... they throw up unusual, thought-provoking pieces such as Under an Alien Moon - it might not be perfection, but it smacks me in the face with its unexpected and original phrasing such as:
and:
Shield of Bronze by bronzeage
call me old-fashioned, but most of us could use an old-fashioned hero from time to time... i'd use him well!
i'd also recommend people to go read this writer - oneiria... they throw up unusual, thought-provoking pieces such as Under an Alien Moon - it might not be perfection, but it smacks me in the face with its unexpected and original phrasing such as:
and:
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bronzeage
I am a river to my people
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- Jun 20, 2005
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- 49,685
In the dead of night by CuddlyAl
The technical aspects but not the substance of this piece have been covered very well in previous comments.
This is a simple address. The speaker is talking to his victim, who we soon learn is either dead or dying. Cuckoldry is a very old topic and it is hard to bring new words to the subject. This one does not do this and in the process uses the wrong words as well. The spouse is not "angry", he is jealous. There is a difference. He is not "avenging", he is murdering. Since the poem is written in first person, the character can express it in anyway the author likes, but the careful reader will recognize the unreliable words. It comes out as a very adolescent expression.
The technical aspects but not the substance of this piece have been covered very well in previous comments.
This is a simple address. The speaker is talking to his victim, who we soon learn is either dead or dying. Cuckoldry is a very old topic and it is hard to bring new words to the subject. This one does not do this and in the process uses the wrong words as well. The spouse is not "angry", he is jealous. There is a difference. He is not "avenging", he is murdering. Since the poem is written in first person, the character can express it in anyway the author likes, but the careful reader will recognize the unreliable words. It comes out as a very adolescent expression.
twelveoone
ground zero
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what I'm going to do is mention, that is it mention, all of the authours have done good work, so it may be me, that I'm just not excited about these
byTristesse2 has been on fire this past month, I have been very impressed, so many so good; she as two:
Ice and Fire
After the Storm
Nostalgia -
by NeonSubtlety
Tell Mehttp://www.literotica.com/p/tell-me-20
byMikeIvy
it has been a real pleasure watching him grow, this is a tough one for anyone, I think he did a rather good job of it.
Sometime After Midnight in Ft Smith
byPoetGuy whom I wish would read a little Comac McCarthy or Parke Godwin
before he writes something like this again
Continental Breakfast Included
bygreenmountaineer
which may be too subtle for my tastes
or it may be too much jam, not enough ham
so I'm going to pull a Lebroz - You Decide - much as I hate that.
All writers deserving of your support and comments, that I will say
byTristesse2 has been on fire this past month, I have been very impressed, so many so good; she as two:
Ice and Fire
After the Storm
Nostalgia -
by NeonSubtlety
Tell Mehttp://www.literotica.com/p/tell-me-20
byMikeIvy
it has been a real pleasure watching him grow, this is a tough one for anyone, I think he did a rather good job of it.
Sometime After Midnight in Ft Smith
byPoetGuy whom I wish would read a little Comac McCarthy or Parke Godwin
before he writes something like this again
Continental Breakfast Included
bygreenmountaineer
which may be too subtle for my tastes
or it may be too much jam, not enough ham
so I'm going to pull a Lebroz - You Decide - much as I hate that.
All writers deserving of your support and comments, that I will say
butters
High on a Hill
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just to say that for some obscure reason this link is giving me this message:
don't know why, as Tess' poem's still there.
UnderYourSpell
Gerund Whore
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I get something similar so presumably 1201 made a bad link
twelveoone
ground zero
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Now, Now, ishtat....ooh look at all those H's and mine are disappearingNormally I read the new poems from bottom to top. Today 6th March, it would be a good idea to start at the top with vrosej10 and see how much you can cope with afterwards. It is not the best of days.
What I'm going to do (because I'm simply amazing) is recommend this:
In Crowds
byYoonSookShin
this is good, avoids the expected
Dreaming Of Our Love Affair -
By our own VR, this needs work, but VR is receptive and you get to check out the comments!
A mother's battle
bybulltlr
who is here to learn
Ice and Fire
which is reprised because of a bad link
Maria2394
Literotica Guru
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I use Firefox and had no trouble at all with the link. Is that weird? I don't know....
vrosej10
Questioning your sanity??
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Window Smoke by Neonsubtlely
An excellent poem worth reading for it the image in the first stanza alone.
http://www.literotica.com/p/window-smoke
Sometime After Midnight Ft Smith by PoetGuy
I really liked this one; good concrete imagery and clear rendering of the writer’s block blahs. I write continuously as part of my practice as a writer; I am never away long.
http://www.literotica.com/p/sometime-after-midnight-in-ft-smith
An excellent poem worth reading for it the image in the first stanza alone.
http://www.literotica.com/p/window-smoke
Sometime After Midnight Ft Smith by PoetGuy
I really liked this one; good concrete imagery and clear rendering of the writer’s block blahs. I write continuously as part of my practice as a writer; I am never away long.
http://www.literotica.com/p/sometime-after-midnight-in-ft-smith
vrosej10
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At Twelve's request, a further review:
Friday Art Walk by seannelson
This is a nice vivid piece. A strong recommend; it is one of this poet’s finer efforts.
http://www.literotica.com/p/friday-art-walk
The Girl With Trim Ankles by PoetGuy.
I loved this, typo and all, very Parisian.
http://www.literotica.com/p/girl-with-trim-ankles
Friday Art Walk by seannelson
This is a nice vivid piece. A strong recommend; it is one of this poet’s finer efforts.
http://www.literotica.com/p/friday-art-walk
The Girl With Trim Ankles by PoetGuy.
I loved this, typo and all, very Parisian.
http://www.literotica.com/p/girl-with-trim-ankles
ishtat
Literotica Guru
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I endorse Vrosej10's recommendations for March 7th:
Friday Art Walk by Sean Nelsson, and The Girl with Trim ankles by PoetGuy are the picks.
I would like to put in a special plug for Seannelson He is very prolific but rarely posts on the Board and never promotes himself, so much of his work seems to come in under the radar. In addition his style tends to be one of what I might call gentle observation, so doesn't necessarily make a splash at first sight. Some of his work does bear a second or third look. Link below.
http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=441486&page=submissions
Of the rest of the poems on 7th March, all except one are beneath Contempt.
Friday Art Walk by Sean Nelsson, and The Girl with Trim ankles by PoetGuy are the picks.
I would like to put in a special plug for Seannelson He is very prolific but rarely posts on the Board and never promotes himself, so much of his work seems to come in under the radar. In addition his style tends to be one of what I might call gentle observation, so doesn't necessarily make a splash at first sight. Some of his work does bear a second or third look. Link below.
http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=441486&page=submissions
Of the rest of the poems on 7th March, all except one are beneath Contempt.
vrosej10
Questioning your sanity??
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I endorse Vrosej10's recommendations for March 7th:
Friday Art Walk by Sean Nelsson, and The Girl with Trim ankles by PoetGuy are the picks.
I would like to put in a special plug for Seannelson He is very prolific but rarely posts on the Board and never promotes himself, so much of his work seems to come in under the radar. In addition his style tends to be one of what I might call gentle observation, so doesn't necessarily make a splash at first sight. Some of his work does bear a second or third look. Link below.
http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=441486&page=submissions
Of the rest of the poems on 7th March, all except one are beneath Contempt.
I agree about Sean. And by the by, is your arse smarting?
NeonSubtlety
I'm a guy. I promise.
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"Paints her whole house in colors." C'mon, now. I'm loving it more each and every time I say it in my head.
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