Older Male Seeking Female Friends Who Can Tolerate "Dad Jokes"

[Shygentleman2]

The flu, a Cold, and COVID 19 walk into a bar

Bartender says, “is this some sort of sick joke?”

 

[Shygentleman2]

What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer?

A father in law.

 

[SaintVivere]

Sorry you don't like these... I'm just a life-long fan of lyrical perversion. Well... maybe I should stop at "perversion"...

I'll drop a note and share that as a similar life-long fan I've been enjoying the lyrical perversions lol Of course the dad jokes are equally excellent Some top-notch stuff here.

 

[Lichen2CU]

I'll drop a note and share that as a similar life-long fan I've been enjoying the lyrical perversions lol Of course the dad jokes are equally excellent Some top-notch stuff here.

Thank you for your kind words...

 

[Lichen2CU]

Why did the cook take the pasta out of the pot?

(It was All-done-tay... )

 

[Lichen2CU]

Looks like we mated...

I'll bend you over every day

Looks like we mated...

We're gonna fuck in every way

Barry Manilow - "Looks Like We Made It"

 

[SaintVivere]

I'll never leave your pizza burnin'
Never, never, never, never, never, never, never leave...

- Rolling Stones, "Beast of Burden"

 

[Lichen2CU]

I'll never leave your pizza burnin'
Never, never, never, never, never, never, never leave...

- Rolling Stones, "Beast of Burden"

Good one!! I love that song...

 

[Shygentleman2]

I call it an elevator but my British friend calls it a lift.

I guess we were raised differently.

 

[BeautifulShadows18]

Why did the coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback

 

[BeautifulShadows18]

RIP boiling water…you will be mist.

 

[BeautifulShadows18]

What rock group has four men who don't sing?

Mount Rushmore

 

[Lichen2CU]

I feel the passing of a Beautiful Shadow....

 

[Lichen2CU]

Greetings how are you?

 

[BeautifulShadows18]

I feel the passing of a Beautiful Shadow....

You are too sweet. I needed some comic relief today! And I didn’t want to dare to post a lyrical perversion!

 

[Lichen2CU]

 

[BeautifulShadows18]

Greetings how are you?

Getting better. How are you?

 

[Lichen2CU]

Better? How could you possibly get any better... you're already a veritable shadow of beauty...

 

[Mzmarvel]

I got one…

A duck walks into a bar and sits on a still, waiting for the bar tender.
The bartender comes over and asks
‘What will you have?’
The duck looks at him and says
“Got any grapes?”
The bartender calmly responds
“Look, this is a bar, we don’t have grapes. Why don’t you look at the menu and I’ll come back in a bit”
Bartender leaves the duck to look over the menu for a few minutes, then comes back to ask the duck for his order.
“Ok, mate, what will you have?’
The duck stares him dead in the eyes and says
‘Got any grapes?’
Bar tender is getting annoyed and says
‘We don’t have any grapes, I told you, this is a bar! What do you want?’
Duck looks at the menu again and says to the bartender
‘Got any grapes?’
The bartender is pissed now.
“We don’t have any fucking grapes, and if you ask me one more time, I’m going to nail your beak to the wall!’
The duck looks at the bar tender and says
‘Got any nails?’
The bartender is furious now
‘No! We don’t have nails, this isn’t a
Hardware store! It’s a fucking bar!’
The duck looks the bartender straight in the eyes again and says
‘Got any grapes?’

 

[subdudeme13]

I got one…

A duck walks into a bar and sits on a still, waiting for the bar tender.
The bartender comes over and asks
‘What will you have?’
The duck looks at him and says
“Got any grapes?”
The bartender calmly responds
“Look, this is a bar, we don’t have grapes. Why don’t you look at the menu and I’ll come back in a bit”
Bartender leaves the duck to look over the menu for a few minutes, then comes back to ask the duck for his order.
“Ok, mate, what will you have?’
The duck stares him dead in the eyes and says
‘Got any grapes?’
Bar tender is getting annoyed and says
‘We don’t have any grapes, I told you, this is a bar! What do you want?’
Duck looks at the menu again and says to the bartender
‘Got any grapes?’
The bartender is pissed now.
“We don’t have any fucking grapes, and if you ask me one more time, I’m going to nail your beak to the wall!’
The duck looks at the bar tender and says
‘Got any nails?’
The bartender is furious now
‘No! We don’t have nails, this isn’t a
Hardware store! It’s a fucking bar!’
The duck looks the bartender straight in the eyes again and says
‘Got any grapes?’

That quacks me up!

 

[MerryeMikee]

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, but no atmosphere.

 

[Shygentleman2]

Why did the coffee file a police report?

It got mugged

 

[Mzmarvel]

Why is Santa Claus always so happy?


He knows where all the naughty girls live.

 

[KyleR215]

Why don’t eggs tell jokes?


Because they’d crack each other up.

 

[BeautifulShadows18]

“ I can’t say that I’m not lost…in a thong “

Nelly Furtado -Say it right…. really Nelly?!