Out Boast the Poster Above You

[Coyote100]

I always catch the roadrunner, but let him go free because he is so cute.

 

[SusanHoward]

My Acme toys NEVER explode.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

Then my factory's putting out defective merchandise. I apologize, @SusanHoward - we'll make the bang up to you.

 

[SusanHoward]

…and not just a little "Boom!" at the bottom of some arroyo.

 

[Graybear1826]

The *BOOM* you get from my "product" will make your sign read "AGAIN PLEASE?"

Or not...I'm an optimist.

 

[LaotianLass]

The *BOOM* you get from my "product" will make your sign read "AGAIN PLEASE?"

Or not...I'm an optimist.

I don't "BOOM" but all the guys want to "BANG" me

 

[Graybear1826]

I don't "BOOM" but all the guys want to "BANG" me

Would my not calling it BANGING you help my cause?

 

[Him15]

I have rare Pokémon card money

 

[UsuallyPresent]

I have rare Magic card money.

 

[LeSabreur]

I can do magic tricks that make David Blaine cry.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

I can do magic tricks that make David Blaine cry.

Not too impressive. One good fart could make David Blaine cry.

 

[Graybear1826]

Once had Madonna tied up in my bed.

 

[LeSabreur]

Once had Madonna tied up in my bed.

Madonna once had me tied up in her bed!

 

[Graybear1826]

I opened for Andrew Dice Clay on his "Yeah, I Got Class" tour.

 

[LeSabreur]

I opened for Andrew Dice Clay on his "Yeah, I Got Class" tour.

I taught The Diceman how to overcome his anxiety about going on stage.

 

[latecomer91364]

For years, Andy, the Diceman turned to me for new jokes.

 

[NewCastle89]

I won’t accidentally pierce anything whilst going to the toilet

 

[LeSabreur]

Oh, I've pierced any number of things!

 

[Wand3rlust]

I've pierced Brosnan.

 

[Anastasia1999]

I've pierced Brosnan.

Gabriel Byrne winked at me in a pub in Glasnevin in Dublin when I was a student

 

[Stephie02]

Is it a boast if I say I don't know most of who you oldies are talking about?

 

[PotNoodle79]

At least being old, I got to see all the good bands

 

[TunnelKing089]

My pot of chicken noodle soup is warmer than his....

 

[Graybear1826]

I am the world's leading expert in making coffee and letting it go cold without drinking it.

 

[LeSabreur]

Is it a boast if I say I don't know most of who you oldies are talking about?

Stephie, didn't you know that old wisdom is more wise than young wisdom?