Pmann’s Reasons Why Women Won’t Talk To Me (You) Thread

[SassySheDevil]

Well I can't speak for lit women, I can just speak for me, and this is my take.

If you are looking at women saying that in the personals, I just assume most are men, so nothing will go far. The few who aren't, probably do pick someone(s) else, so they are talking, just not with you, or you yet. Ebb and flow. I don't post in personals, but I don't hide that I enjoy chat from time to time and no it is not a flirting for likes, just fact. I am enjoying my time with someone else, and again ebb and flow. I never understood the ghosting thing, people have lives, it is no longer working, but I get it matters to some, so my solution was to put it upfront the ghosting is all good. As for picking up men in the personals, oh no no no, I already stated personals is a reason I won't talk to someone. It is either someone only looking for me to get them off, or someone who is going to cling tighter than Chinese lingerie.

Now, can we get smoke blown up our ass for anything, damn straight. Of course, the men I end up talking to aren't the ones blowing a ton smoke up my ass. They are the ones who make me laugh and I have fun with. Reactions do matter in videos I post, as an exhibitionist without voyeurs, well I could flash a tree. Knowing people are looking is the key to sexual excitement. I pm men. I have no idea what the ratio is, but I'd suspect a number of friendships were started by me. And correct, it isn't that hard, I've been friend zoned, but I've had them work too. ebb and flow. of course, you never said all women, and I never said I represent womenkind, just me. Overall, my advise, get out of the personals.

I can't love all this enough!

 

[SassySheDevil]

Gentleman in the thread, manwhore in the e-bed?

isn't that how it should be?

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I did too, but I suspect it is an honesty and transparency thing. I don't think it applies the same way across different women. I think those of us that take pictures for ourselves and share as we wish tend to be transparent about that.

Sometimes I think we're the same person

 

[Bbl87]

I find this perspective fascinating.
What is it about this that hurts? The feeling of being "second"?

I don't share pics often these days and anything that goes out has probably been shared with someone else. The way I see it, I'm inviting people in to see parts of me and my identity that I feel like sharing. I guess I take pics for me and share them with people I like

As a guy, I'll say I don't really care. If you're sharing a picture with me, what do I care if someone else has seen it. I have given a friend crap for sending me the same picture again, forgetting it was one she had sent to me before, but that was all in good fun. Now if she told me she took it just for me, but I found out otherwise, I'd be a little hurt, but more due to the fact she felt the need to lie about it.

If I do any pics or videos, it's because the other person enjoys it. I get some excitement out of sharing it, but it's more knowing that someone else enjoys it that makes me happy. And I always say, don't send me anything because you think I want it, send it because it makes you happy to send it. I hate anything done out of a feeling of obligation. Most of my sex the last number of years feels like it's been out of obligation, so I don't need that here.

 

[Dribble]

I find this perspective fascinating.
What is it about this that hurts? The feeling of being "second"?

I don't share pics often these days and anything that goes out has probably been shared with someone else. The way I see it, I'm inviting people in to see parts of me and my identity that I feel like sharing. I guess I take pics for me and share them with people I like

I have no problem with that for you. I am created differently. No...it isn't being second...if I was told that from the beginning. Trust is everything. And saying...I am not looking for that...and finding out that was exactly what they were looking for....is fine for them. Just not me. I will back away every time. I deserve better.

I used to be able to have a one night stands and laugh about it. Then...somewhere...I fell in love and the act of sex became something more for me. Once I took that plunge...there has been no path back even though that relationship has ended. How hard is it to take a pic? For someone? 15 seconds? 30 seconds? To be thought of in a moment and say I want to share this MOMENT with you? I get it. I really do. And I am not being judgmental at all. I just am not built the same

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I have no problem with that for you. I am created differently. No...it isn't being second...if I was told that from the beginning. Trust is everything. And saying...I am not looking for that...and finding out that was exactly what they were looking for....is fine for them. Just not me. I will back away every time. I deserve better.

I used to be able to have a one night stands and laugh about it. Then...somewhere...I fell in love and the act of sex became something more for me. Once I took that plunge...there has been no path back even though that relationship has ended. How hard is it to take a pic? For someone? 15 seconds? 30 seconds? To be thought of in a moment and say I want to share this MOMENT with you? I get it. I really do. And I am not being judgmental at all. I just am not built the same

That's all fair. I understand the desire for that kind of connection and I do appreciate it when it happens.

And the effort to take a pic. For me? It can be a lot, actually.

I take pictures to convey the way I feel about myself. I like to think about the composition and message I convey. I'm a bit of a diva a hippie diva

 

[SassySheDevil]

I take pictures to convey the way I feel about myself. I like to think about the composition and message I convey. I'm a bit of a diva a hippie diva

I used to be able to take pictures super easy (when I had my own thread) and I was still picky about what I did choose to share. Now. Since the surgery. It takes a lot for me to dress up and feel sexy. So now. It can be work.

 

[Dribble]

Maybe that's the difference? I don't take pics of me...for me. There is a reason for the pic. My kid. A friend asking what I am doing. Fuck I love that sunrise.

So...the question is...is that because women think men only respond to them by how they look? Or men...is that really what turns you on?

 

[SassySheDevil]

Maybe that's the difference? I don't take pics of me...for me. There is a reason for the pic. My kid. A friend asking what I am doing. Fuck I love that sunrise.

So...the question is...is that because women think men only respond to them by how they look? Or men...is that really what turns you on?

Personally I take pictures for both reasons. Some for me. To remind myself that the sexy isn't totally gone. To feel beautiful. To feel. Period.
Sometimes I take them for someone else.
But like it was mentioned. I think the biggest difference is honesty. If you tell someone you took it just for them and then send it elsewhere. I think that is where feelings get hurt. If I took it for someone else and like it enough to share it say on here. I usually tell them that. Or ask if they mind.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

Maybe that's the difference? I don't take pics of me...for me. There is a reason for the pic. My kid. A friend asking what I am doing. Fuck I love that sunrise.

So...the question is...is that because women think men only respond to them by how they look? Or men...is that really what turns you on?

Well you didn't ask me specifically, but I think I fall into the category. For me, it is the act of taking and sharing that is a turn on. This was present decades before lit. Bought my first video camera, a sony handycam 8mm, just for shooting homemade porn because it really got me going. There are 100s of pictures because my boyfriends and husbands knew I was really into it. There is Ted the Taco guy, the security camera on Tuckerton, and any time I was in an open convertible or T-top I'd flash a trucker, Regular semi public sex, public indecency etc. It was a long known thing about me.

Lit is just a repackage. I actually had forgotten all this because at 30 I started packing up all things that didn't fit the proper definition of "mom". By the time I came here, it had been years. I had forgotten, until I posted a picture that was a joke that I also shared with friends. Then I remembered again. The cameras were the first thing I got back in our bedroom. The first thong picture here I was so turned on that just trying to adjust turned into my first video that wasn't shared here for quite some time. So no, it has very little to do with what I think men respond to, it is what I respond to, hence my escalation and breaks, because it wears off. I just get off on filming, sharing, public antics to some degree.

My kneejerk reaction on someone expressing issues with those who like to share is well damn, why would they want to take a similar kink away as a contingency to talking with them. Do they also have issues with those into stockings, roleplay, nipple clamps, or whatever? But I realize some probably don't get how it is for me, think it is a meeting people thing. Though some I am sure just can't cope with entertaining something like this, and that is ok. I don't even invest the time or effort for anything good, or artistic, it doesn't matter. It is the act for me. But again I can't speak for others. All I can say I am very upfront about this, I am not packing it away again. Damn it, I will send you photos and videos, and maybe others, and maybe post some here. Not accepting this is a deal breaker. It is a package deal.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Personally I take pictures for both reasons. Some for me. To remind myself that the sexy isn't totally gone. To feel beautiful. To feel. Period.
Sometimes I take them for someone else.
But like it was mentioned. I think the biggest difference is honesty. If you tell someone you took it just for them and then send it elsewhere. I think that is where feelings get hurt. If I took it for someone else and like it enough to share it say on here. I usually tell them that. Or ask if they mind.

Yes!
Telling someone you took a photo for them and that not being true, asshole move.
Assuming a photo was taken for you and finding out it wasn't- naivety?

 

[Misshotndeep]

A some guys post on here are so overtly toxic I don’t want to go near that atomic blast. If I wanted to be hit on the head with a club and dragged off to their cave I might… might, DM them.

 

[PlayfulLilDarlin]

So...the question is...is that because women think men only respond to them by how they look? Or men...is that really what turns you on?

Maybe it's a little bit of cynicism on my part but...yes. I can't fathom a world in which heterosexual men did not first respond to a female presenting person based on appearance and the value (attraction) they place on that appearance.

I know someone who has had a very active pic past on this forum, and I had never really ventured into it because that wasn't what had interested me about them in the first place. I liked the content of their comments. Not to imply they are not worth looking at, they definitely are, but that wasn't and still isn't how I connect to people.

Maybe, ultimately, that makes me a bad fit for some parts of the boards, but I just don't go there. I find pic threads awkward for me personally but am thrilled if they can make someone feel good about themselves. And of course, those who enjoy the looking as well. I think this site has a little to offer everyone and no one particular mindset is a monolith here. Men, women, nongender, agender, whatever gender all come here for something, whatever that might be.

I just hope everyone finds it and it makes their lives better in some way.

 

[Dribble]

In case I haven't said it lately...I fucking really do appreciate the honesty I see here. It warms my heart

 

[Strixaluco]

that wasn't what had interested me about them in the first place

Neither am I interested in the looks, really. I may admire someone's looks, but that isn't what gets me.

 

[AmberLGreen]

Also, the same for public displays. Those guys who run around complimenting anything that breathes are the ones most women avoid. However, if you limit it to a few. That isn't a turn off. We all have many different likes, so showing that publicly isn't wrong.

I find it is how they do the complimenting that makes me decide whether they are somebody I would interact with or not. Some people compliment a lot of others but it is in a positive, respectful way. Others, are totally inappropriate. I don’t know if they think they are coming across as flirty but they really aren’t. When a woman posts a picture of her chest for example, a comment of “wow, you have beautiful boobs!” is acceptable. It can make the poster feel good, it shows that the person viewing them is appreciative of the effort taken to post a picture. On the other hand, a comment of “fuck, I would like to shoot my load across those beauties” is totally inappropriate. The post has been sexualised.

Just my viewpoint

I want to throw @AmberLGreen under the bus because I her. She is publicly flirty and silly with everyone but doesn't come off as a creepy stalker. There are ways to be flirty and fun with anyone and everyone without looking like a desperate creep.

If that is throwing me under the bus, then you can do that whenever you want. Being an attention whore, I love the attention

 

[Strixaluco]

When a woman posts a picture of her chest for example, a comment of “wow, you have beautiful boobs!” is acceptable. It can make the poster feel good, it shows that the person viewing them is appreciative of the effort taken to post a picture. On the other hand, a comment of “fuck, I would like to shoot my load across those beauties” is totally inappropriate. The post has been sexualised.

I totally second this!

 

[Cindy027]

I have 18,000+ pictures of myself. About 20% are usable, what for you ask? I started taking pictures of myself when I was at university, I found that with a tripod, decent lens and good lighting, selfies could reach a whole new level . I used to get crazy ideas and then try to replicate those ideas in front of the camera. I actually became fanatical and bought a lot of equipment for my “hobby”. I have a studio downstairs in part of the garage (it’s a rather large garage).

I haven’t done much lately not the way I used to and I have only done me alone although my last gf wanted me to get us together, it wasn’t comfortable although we did get a couple of nice shots out of it. I put my early stuff on DeviantArt but since I have removed it all.

What has really intrigued me is the changes in my body over time and being able to almost see them as they take place. I am talking about a period of close to 15 years since I started in my dorm room to now. I would be happy to get into more detail of the how with any of the women here that may be interested in my journey.

 

[AmberLGreen]

Personally I take pictures for both reasons. Some for me. To remind myself that the sexy isn't totally gone. To feel beautiful. To feel. Period.
Sometimes I take them for someone else.
But like it was mentioned. I think the biggest difference is honesty. If you tell someone you took it just for them and then send it elsewhere. I think that is where feelings get hurt. If I took it for someone else and like it enough to share it say on here. I usually tell them that. Or ask if they mind.

I do get the taking of pictures for yourself as I do the same. As I age, I need to still get those compliments, I need that boost. I mean, I don’t look at a picture of myself and go off to rub one out, but I do like to self-appreciate at times. It isn’t a vanity thing, it is something I do when I start to feel like I don’t like myself very much.

I will say that you are a sexy woman and it isn’t just the physical side of you. I have only seen a few pictures of you but you do have a sexy look about you. You ooze sexiness through your personality. You are funny, smart, assertive, kind and honest. It is a very neat little package that many people want the opportunity to open

 

[Mrtenant]

I find all this fascinating. So many of us are of the same or very similar mind and the posts reflect that even if said in some different way measured by personality and volume of words. Some is enlightening. Like, I wonder how being an Ampic thread operator gives someone a different perspective to Litsters who do not operate one. Not specific to any one person, necessarily.

But I think we eventaully become aware that given anyone's particular circumstance, you just don't KNOW what you get until you do know. It's all assumptions and guesswork and then taking time to get to know someone and learn about them like normal people. Time also where things change because a person's circumstances change.

I am of the mind that there are several stickies in this forum that can help alleviate some of the problems. How many people actually read those? Has anyone steered a naive or delusional Litster to those and said, wise up motherfucker?

I have had my problems, it is an ongoing learning process that so long as I am here haunting this forum with all you beautiful people I will continue to learn to be a better friend if nothing else. The world is hard outside. Here, where anonymity gives us an opportunity for safety, we can all recognize that, and strive to treat one another better. Acknowledge our friends and allies. And post warnings about unredeemable toxicity.

Side note. I have disappeared from Lit for months at a time in the past, but no one ever said I was ghosting them and have had a nice reception upon my return. I really appreciate that.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

I find it is how they do the complimenting that makes me decide whether they are somebody I would interact with or not. Some people compliment a lot of others but it is in a positive, respectful way. Others, are totally inappropriate. I don’t know if they think they are coming across as flirty but they really aren’t. When a woman posts a picture of her chest for example, a comment of “wow, you have beautiful boobs!” is acceptable. It can make the poster feel good, it shows that the person viewing them is appreciative of the effort taken to post a picture. On the other hand, a comment of “fuck, I would like to shoot my load across those beauties” is totally inappropriate. The post has been sexualised.

Just my viewpoint


If that is throwing me under the bus, then you can do that whenever you want. Being an attention whore, I love the attention

I'll be real and say women like me can probably take some of the blame for that, as it is not totally inappropriate to me. not actually my thing from a stranger, but I get Sassy's point. Well except, the voyeurs encourage the exhibitionist. If too many people stop commenting, they may get less participation could be a theory. If you say the same thing to all of the women, it doesn't mean much. So now, some may be trying to adjust. Wow you have beautiful boobs and fuck I would like to shoot my load across them are both fine to me, one too polite, one too far if from a stranger, but fine. shrug. Actually catching my attention generally requires humor which is real dangerous on the gals it doesn't work for. Now, of course, some just don't know anything about anyone and randomly spew vulgar cum dreams on everyone, so I can't take all the blame.

However, the fact that we are all different women, with very different definitions of appropriate may factor in to some of it. I do appreciate how the men who try to encourage everyone have quite a task ahead of them, working with the very different personalities behind the boobs. Not saying your viewpoint is wrong at all, just saying I don't know that it is as easy to compliment everyone with all the different personalities.

 

[AmberLGreen]

I'll be real and say women like me can probably take some of the blame for that, as it is not totally inappropriate to me. not actually my thing from a stranger, but I get Sassy's point. Well except, the voyeurs encourage the exhibitionist. If too many people stop commenting, they may get less participation could be a theory. If you say the same thing to all of the women, it doesn't mean much. So now, some may be trying to adjust. Wow you have beautiful boobs and fuck I would like to shoot my load across them are both fine to me, one too polite, one too far if from a stranger, but fine. shrug. Actually catching my attention generally requires humor which is real dangerous on the gals it doesn't work for. Now, of course, some just don't know anything about anyone and randomly spew vulgar cum dreams on everyone, so I can't take all the blame.

However, the fact that we are all different women, with very different definitions of appropriate may factor in to some of it. I do appreciate how the men who try to encourage everyone have quite a task ahead of them, working with the very different personalities behind the boobs. Not saying your viewpoint is wrong at all, just saying I don't know that it is as easy to compliment everyone with all the different personalities.

It is easy to look at profiles or look at how the poster normally responds to things. When you are making a personal, sexual comment to somebody that you have never had any interaction with, would you not try to see what type of person they were before you made it?

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

It is easy to look at profiles or look at how the poster normally responds to things. When you are making a personal, sexual comment to somebody that you have never had any interaction with, would you not try to see what type of person they were before you made it?

I would hope, I really would, but we may be harder to read than we think. or maybe we talk so much they can't even find the recent similar posts, or maybe they read one sentence and get bored. or maybe they don't try and I give too much latitude, maybe a mix of all. I guess I always try to give the benefit of the doubt, and assume they didn't intend to cross lines. I could be totally out in left field though. It wouldn't shock me.

 

[may_I_please]

It is easy to look at profiles or look at how the poster normally responds to things. When you are making a personal, sexual comment to somebody that you have never had any interaction with, would you not try to see what type of person they were before you made it?

Well possibly I should but no, I take my cue from the environment and what I enjoy and then figure if they don’t find me amusing they will just ignore me

 

[lifeis2short2b]

Well it's nice insight and pretty interesting points of view. I appreciate that no one took anything personal. I hope everyone continues to enjoy lit in your own ways. And most of all stay horny