Pmann wants to talk mental health

[Endless_Night]

Another factor that can impact not asking for help is when dealing with a chronic issue/s.

I have anxiety and low-grade depression. Always have. I was into my 30s before I realized everyone wasn't living the same experience. What an eye opener.

Fifteen years or so back I was diagnosed with ADHD. Recently, I started testing for Autism and scored well into range. Prior to all that I just thought my *oddness* was due to…well, being odd, and perhaps hangover from childhood issues.

Whether it's the neurodivergent wiring, childhood stuff, or a lifetime of dealing with not fitting into expected social norms (or all three), the depression cycles and anxiety are just part of my pattern at this point. For me to ask for help every time would be…exhaustingly high maintenance, and would most definitely not improve my mental state.

My approach is a continuous search for palliatives: running, diet, etc.. I stay busy; projects drive me. I've learned to farm out dealing with situations - if possible - that I know are going to trip my anxiety.

It helps. Being aware of what's happening helps. Taking charge helps.

Reaching out is important! Absolutely. And it's something I'm learning to do more, but for those of us who aren't dealing with the rare episodic, that option can be complicated.

Just tossing one more thing into the mix.

 

[Endless_Night]

Having problems is a weakness.
When you’re weak is when you need help.
Asking for help and accepting it is strength, not weakness.
When smoke is coming out of an outlet you call an electrician, not because you’re weak but because you’re not a fucking idiot, he fixes it, now you’re in good shape again.
Strength!

Love this analogy.

 

[jaF0]

impact



Reaching out

Holy fucking goddamned hell, two of the most fucking evil phrases in one post.

 

[_Ritch_]

Holy fucking goddamned hell, two of the most fucking evil phrases in one post.

You don't seem to be here to either have a meaningful discussion or maybe offer advice to others. So why are you here?

 

[Strixaluco]

I have not gone through all the discussion so far, so apologies if I repeat something...

Highly sensitive people have reportedly a higher rate on mental health issues - and there are even 20% of us, meaning it is still within normal variation. These are the people some would tell to "just toughen up" - but sensitivity is innate, even biological. Today's life is bombarding us with ever more stimulus, demanding ever more speed. That doesn't go well with sensitivity. Dealing with the kind of hardship people had in the history might actually go better than the speeding society and work life of today. Finding a way of life that works for a sensitive person can be very hard nowadays - I know I haven't really found mine.

 

[Donotrustanybody]

I think this issue is very complicated, what's the cause and how to treat it. I just try to be there for them, as much as I can. I have to be careful being around people who are struggling for too long, because I obsorb that energy and start to feel myself getting down.

So many people have been abused, sexually assaulted, had tragic moments in their lives or had tragic lives. I think counseling is very important, there's no shame in seeing a psychologist. We all need help sometimes, wish I knew the answer. I've seen some prescribed Marijuana to help fight their mental health issues, I'm okay with this treatment.


I feel some Doctor's mask the problems by over medicating and sometimes it isn't a long term solution. I do know, sometimes people need these pills to help them get through the day.



I think when we see someone struggling, we should be genuinely listen, inform their families and medical professionals of what is going on. Sometimes just listening and being there helps them get through that moment, but this is a continuous fight. It takes a lot of support to battle these issues. We should reach out to anyone crying out for help, listen to them, and be patient with them. Sometimes we give advice and when it's not followed, we get upset and wipe our hands clean.

Wish I knew the answer to these problems, all I know is, people are really struggling out there and really need help.


Edited to add: I also am careful not to treat someone as a victim and someone to feel sorry for. I feel helping some develop confidence and making them feel safe is key.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Holy fucking goddamned hell, two of the most fucking evil phrases in one post.

So what is it that you’re looking for in life?

You seem to have a problem with the idea of people controlling others or making decisions for people who are unwell. You are of the mindset that no one should intervene when they see someone doing something severe. I believe when it’s a life and death situation, sometimes people have to step in.

Mental illness can have infinite consequences for finite problems. I’ve had family members commit suicide. And they are making permanent decisions based on feelings that are possibly temporary. Hopelessness and depression are very real. But many things can change. If someone is harming themselves in a way that is very final, why do you think someone shouldn’t intervene?

Why are you so genuinely unhappy? You’ve been around here so long, you’re bound to have created some connections. Yet, you seem to have a lot of bitterness and anger towards people.

 

[lacandy]

Just read through this whole thread…

I am a HIGE advocate of people seeking mental health help. Both of my kids have been in therapy on and off for the last 10 years. I watch them and ask them how they are mentally and if it’s time to go back to talk to someone - everyone needs someone that they can talk to who won’t judge or try to “fix” things.

That being said…I’m a terrible advocate for myself and my own mental health. I’m constantly taking care of those around me, but often let my own issues just build and build until I erupt. There’s always an excuse…I don’t have time is usually the big one (yet I have time to be here posting on Lit ).

I think after reading through all these posts…and with both kiddos now adults and about to be gone…it’s time for momma to take care of herself.

 

[cascadiabound]

Just gonna put this here.

I too have family members who struggle to ask for help, who feel helpless and depressed and are suicidal. It's terrible to watch. I may not be able to fix it, but I sure can make myself available, check in, offer help, illuminate resources.

 

[MaggieTheUnicorn]

I have just read through this thread and I find it so refreshing to see an open and honest conversation about mental health.

The internet definitely makes talking to others easier, but I think it is helpful to remember to not just communicate, but to connect. Sometimes real connection and meaning can get lost in the void. That's actually one of the reasons I have never been the biggest fan of digital communication, but due to life circumstances, I have had to put an effort in to get past my inhibitions. That's all part of why I am here on lit in general actually.

My life circumstance is that I am a person who does not drink coffee, rather, I need to go for a run in the morning.... except have barely been able walk since the beginning of 2020. My left knee quit on me then, and after a long series of events including medical trauma that leg is partially numb with reduced function, and my right knee decided at the beginning of May to swell up over me trying to do anything, including riding my bike. I've seen lots of specialists and had lots of tests and imaging, and the short is we are pursuing an EDS diagnosis but that's not why we are here, that one is for the inevitable curious

Being active used to be who I was: I ran, worked on a horse farm, rode, did yoga, etc., all in one day. I had just come to love and accept the person I was, having done a lot of personal work to work through depression. Then, poof. There went my sense of identity and purpose, just like that. My life was gone. The person I had just gotten to know and love was gone. It's like I have just been existing since then. Existing, and accumulating a lot of pent-up energy, frustration, and tension.

There are so many things I could say here. It's a good spot for a trigger warning.

I came here looking to channel some tension in a healthier way than suicidal ideation and self-harm.

I found that, but also some wonderfully open-minded good listeners. I've been talking about things I have been wanting and needing to talk about for a long time.

I've been doing a lot of personal work lately, and part of that is realizing I need a solid foundation of support, a community. I've reached out to people I know irl, and so far, it has worked out for me. Scary, radical honesty has been working.

We will see where things go. I'm on a journey right now. Before my knees quit I was already dealing with a lot of depression. I had planned to have one last hurrah in the fall of 2019, I went to a music festival and did a Spartan trifecta weekend at once, the festival was close enough to sleep there and drive to the races each day. I had planned to do all that, then end my life, but music festival + shrooms + conversation with a good friend = I did not. The fucked up part is, since then, I have regretted that decision more days than not.

I am working on myself, and deconstructing and rediscovering myself, in the hopes I can find a life worth living at the end of it all. I've been doing a lot of personal work lately and it gets really heavy, but being able to talk about it fucking helps.

Sorry if this post seems disjointed, I'm not even sure what my point is. I'm talking because, like I said, it helps. I hope some of this can help someone else too. We're here to have a conversation about this stuff.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I have just read through this thread and I find it so refreshing to see an open and honest conversation about mental health.

Yeah, I’m pretty much known as the go to guy around these parts for mental health talk. It’s my inviting persona.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

. It’s my inviting persona.

All this time you had me convinced it was your boldly drawn pencil dick...

 

[aussiegeekygal]

So I'm definitely guilty of using humor to connect with others about things that may not necessarily be funny to some, but they tickle my dark side. I'm wondering, do you joke about the really bad stuff, too?
Who else has a wickedly dark sense of humor that acts as a coping mechanism?

 

[MaggieTheUnicorn]

So I'm definitely guilty of using humor to connect with others about things that may not necessarily be funny to some, but they tickle my dark side. I'm wondering, do you joke about the really bad stuff, too?
Who else has a wickedly dark sense of humor that acts as a coping mechanism?

I don't personally make jokes with my darkness, but I have been thinking of making music. Humour isn't my thing and that's ok. I think creative expression in general is a good way to cope.

But I mean hey, comedy music is a thing too, maybe we can make a funny dark song out of some real shit.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I don't personally make jokes with my darkness, but I have been thinking of making music. Humour isn't my thing and that's ok. I think creative expression in general is a good way to cope.

But I mean hey, comedy music is a thing too, maybe we can make a funny dark song out of some real shit.

That would be epic. I'm so down.

 

[MaggieTheUnicorn]

That would be epic. I'm so down.

Ok.... well take a riff off this little verse. Came into my head earlier this week. It's about when you feel like shit and wish you had someone to talk to but have no fucking clue who to talk to without feeling like you're bothering them. See if it inspires anything.

Lights down low
Staring at my phone
Hands are shaking
Heart is racing
I don’t want to be alone

 

[Dribble]

So I'm definitely guilty of using humor to connect with others about things that may not necessarily be funny to some, but they tickle my dark side. I'm wondering, do you joke about the really bad stuff, too?
Who else has a wickedly dark sense of humor that acts as a coping mechanism?

This depends on how well I know them. If they have shared deeper shit with me...then I can let my darker side show too

 

[Dribble]

Ok.... well take a riff off this little verse. Came into my head earlier this week. It's about when you feel like shit and wish you had someone to talk to but have no fucking clue who to talk to without feeling like you're bothering them. See if it inspires anything.

Lights down low
Staring at my phone
Hands are shaking
Heart is racing
I don’t want to be alone

Lights
long
turned down low
Staring
at
the memory on my phone
Hands are shaking
Heart is racing
Tears of what once was
I
don't
want to be alone

 

[Dribble]

Dark
comes
Taking all that is
Laughing
at
the memory from my mind
Hands are shaking
Heart is racing
Tears of what once was
I
don't
want to be alone

 

[Cotswolds]

Who else has a wickedly dark sense of humor that acts as a coping mechanism?

Definitely me.

My job is such that without it, I and most of my colleagues would simply not cope at all. I wouldn't dream of trying to give you examples, because out of context they would seem so inappropriate. But we see some of the most horrific scenes life presents. Laughter/humour make the actual doing of the job just about bearable at times.

I consider myself very fortunate that I don't suffer with my mental health much at all. However, I am very aware that despite this I need to regularly check in with myself and take time out for maintanance. For example, I've just had a 36 hour device free period (99% anyway), didn't watch the TV, didn't listen to the news. I just walked, read a book on sailing, drank tea, chillled the fuck out and went to bed early.

Yoga helps a shit load too

 

[jaF0]

Who else has a wickedly dark sense of humor that acts as a coping mechanism?

You talkin' to me?
You talkin' to me?
You talkin' to me?
Then who the hell else are you talkin' to?
You talkin' to me?
Well, I'm the only one here.
Who do the fuck do you think you're talking to?
Oh, yeah?
Ok.

 

[MaggieTheUnicorn]

Yoga helps a shit load too

New yoga mat and blocks! I can actually do a child's pose now without my knees saying no! They are made from cork and I bought from a local (Canadian) company. So happy about this.

I've been wanting to find or make a yoga practice I can actually do, and I recently decided to do some work on my chakras, so I looked up poses for unblocking chakras I can actually do and made something of it, it gave me direction. Got the mat because between physio exercises, yoga, and stretching before bed, I use my mat a lot. Even if you don't believe in chakras, they still are a useful way of examining the self - and the mat is pretty and feels lovely!

 

[jaF0]

How many of you know what it's like to be dead for 30 years and not be able to fall down?

 

[cheekygirl75]

View attachment 2167006
New yoga mat and blocks! I can actually do a child's pose now without my knees saying no! They are made from cork and I bought from a local (Canadian) company. So happy about this.

I've been wanting to find or make a yoga practice I can actually do, and I recently decided to do some work on my chakras, so I looked up poses for unblocking chakras I can actually do and made something of it, it gave me direction. Got the mat because between physio exercises, yoga, and stretching before bed, I use my mat a lot. Even if you don't believe in chakras, they still are a useful way of examining the self - and the mat is pretty and feels lovely!

If you want a good yoga practice, Yoga with Adriane on YouTube is great! She has a wide variety of different videos and they’re all easy to follow.

 

[jaF0]

Oh ... wait .....