~Post baseless lies about the person above you - V.6~

[AlwaysDancing]

drinks tequila with his breakfast and coffee with his dinner

Oooo I need to start doing that

Sleeps in 20 mattresses and still knows there’s a pea under the last one.

 

[cactusjack0584]

Puts peas in peoples mattresses

 

[AlwaysDancing]

Puts peas in peoples mattresses

Not just a pea. The whole damn can. And it is so fun.

Gets lost at the supermarket trying to find canned cactus

 

[cactusjack0584]

Probably uses a Cadillac for mattress stuffing

 

[Chloe_Harper]

Probably uses a Cadillac for mattress stuffing

Sleeps in said Cadillac in AlwaysDancing's mattress

 

[cactusjack0584]

Sleeps in said Cadillac in AlwaysDancing's mattress

It’s quite warm and lovely in there

Is envious of my sleeping arrangement

 

[AlwaysDancing]

Sleeps in said Cadillac in AlwaysDancing's mattress

That explains why I can’t sleep lately!!

 

[cactusjack0584]

That explains why I can’t sleep lately!!

Blames his sleeping woes on others

 

[MidwestPrincess23]

Blames his sleeping woes on others

He only sleeps on even days

 

[cactusjack0584]

He only sleeps on even days

Is that odd? ha dad joke

Likes to put fake maple syrup on pancakes

 

[Sammysub07]

pours butter flavored syrup into maple syrup jars to watch people’s reactions

 

[AlwaysDancing]

Is that odd? ha dad joke

Likes to put fake maple syrup on pancakes

As a Vermonter … Thats blasphemy

And I’m going to stay away from the obvious “likes syrup in his cacti” joke.

Puts sprinkles in his syrup on his nipples and goes to the carnival telling the ladies he is nipples the clown and he juggle majombas better than anyone

(It’s most likely majombas means boobs)

 

[Sammysub07]

I mean not my first thought with syrup and sorinkles on nipples..but carnival it is

Walks around the carnival saying “you get syrup, you get syrup, everyone gets syrup” when people ask where the syrup is you come up empty handed

 

[smtst5]

I mean not my first thought with syrup and sorinkles on nipples..but carnival it is

Walks around the carnival saying “you get syrup, you get syrup, everyone gets syrup” when people ask where the syrup is you come up empty handed

Smuggles syrup onto a Carnival cruise ship

 

[Sammysub07]

Hates syrup. Steals my syrup and has himself the “Boston syrup party” and tosses it all overboard

 

[cactusjack0584]

@smtst5 Uses the code word “syrup” for nefarious things when smuggling

 

[AlwaysDancing]

Hates syrup. Steals my syrup and has himself the “Boston syrup party” and tosses it all overboard

Goes SCUBA diving to recover ancient, lost relics of time. Specifically syrup bottles.

 

[smtst5]

Goes SCUBA diving to recover ancient, lost relics of time. Specifically syrup bottles.

Has a huge collection of syrup from around the world

 

[cactusjack0584]

Goes SCUBA diving to recover ancient, lost relics of time. Specifically syrup bottles.

Got attacked by a shark scuba diving, and lost one of his three arms

 

[AlwaysDancing]

Got attacked by a shark scuba diving, and lost one of his three arms

Better than losing my third leg
But it is hard dancing with two left arms.

Lives in the desert because he’s afraid of sharks.

 

[cactusjack0584]

Better than losing my third leg
But it is hard dancing with two left arms.

Lives in the desert because he’s afraid of sharks.

Works nights in a lab, trying to make Land Sharks for that specific reason

 

[smtst5]

Works nights in a lab, trying to make Land Sharks for that specific reason

Had nightmares as a kid after watching Saturday Night Live

 

[cactusjack0584]

Had nightmares as a kid after watching Saturday Night Live

Fireman bill was both hilarious and scary as a kid

Doesn’t even warm up popcorn just eats the kernels out of a bowl

 

[AlwaysDancing]

Had nightmares as a kid after watching Saturday Night Live

(That’s where my mind went to)

The Blues Brothers are his heroes and he’s waiting for his musical mission from God.

 

[AlwaysDancing]

Fireman bill was both hilarious and scary as a kid

Doesn’t even warm up popcorn just eats the kernels out of a bowl

(Sorry for the skip)

Can rapid fire spit popcorn kernels out of his mouth. Effective for self defense.