~Post baseless lies about the person above you - V.6~

[HollyS]

Used the cutco knives to carve expletives on my car.

Thought that huge peeled carrot was for his salad.

 

[smtst5]

Thought that huge peeled carrot was for his salad.

Has a large collection of eggplants

 

[Sammysub07]

Thought that huge peeled carrot was for his salad.

It’s not?

Thought that huge peeled cucumbers were for her salad

 

[HollyS]

It’s not?

Thought that huge peeled cucumbers were for her salad

Thought I was talking about lunch when I asked if she wanted to share my cucumber.

 

[smtst5]

It’s not?

Thought that huge peeled cucumbers were for her salad

Has a large vegetable garden full of cucumbers

 

[Sammysub07]

Has a large vegetable garden full of cucumbers

If I could in sandy soil, I would! I’d can then, jar them, and pickle them

Smashed my garden pretending to be an angry gnome

Thought I was talking about lunch when I asked if she wanted to share my cucumber.

Lunch comes in many varieties! I am to please

Teases sharing of cucumbers cause they’re not quite ready

 

[smtst5]

If I could in sandy soil, I would! I’d can then, jar them, and pickle them

Smashed my garden pretending to be an angry gnome


Lunch comes in many varieties! I am to please

Has obvious issues win gnomes despite her attempts to please

 

[HollyS]

Has obvious issues win gnomes despite her attempts to please

Disguises himself as a gnome to spy on attractive cucumber gardeners.

 

[smtst5]

Disguises himself as a gnome to spy on attractive cucumber gardeners.

Supposed to be lies, right?

Often practices bottomless gardening

 

[Sammysub07]

Supposed to be lies, right?

Often practices bottomless gardening

Ouch

Pretends to be Tim The Toolman’s neighbor, Wilson, when bottomless gardening takes place always offers to help

 

[smtst5]

Ouch

Pretends to be Tim The Toolman’s neighbor, Wilson, when bottomless gardening takes place always offers to help

Hasn’t taken me up on my offer to borrow my trimmers to trim her overgrown bush (in the garden)

 

[Illnevertell79]

Hasn’t taken me up on my offer to borrow my trimmers to trim her overgrown bush (in the garden)

Has to get his trimmers sharpened weekly due to so much undergrowth...

 

[EctoJohn]

Has to get his trimmers sharpened weekly due to so much undergrowth...

Once planned to capture the queen in the World Championship of Checkers.

 

[SimonSex]

Yells “King Me!” in the throws of sexual passion as well as at the Burger King drive-thru window.

 

[Hornymwtxn]

Doesn't tip the doordash person.

 

[EctoJohn]

Doesn't tip the doordash person.

Has a collection of Silly String with hopes of one day being able to shrink down small enough to combat spiders with it "on their own turf".

 

[Gatliss123]

Caused a serious chemical spill in a reservoir close to a heavily populated area.

 

[Taegul]

He always keeps small zip lock baggies of sugar on him just in case he has a run in with a cop. Says that a good pat down is the best action he's had in twenty years.

 

[Justabaldguy70]

He shaves with a dull axe

 

[Hornymwtxn]

He shaves with a dull axe

Is hairless, entire body, removed with tweezers. It's a miracle he has time to surf lit

 

[Justabaldguy70]

Likes to have wild sex dressed as a umpaloompa

Is hairless, entire body, removed with tweezers. It's a miracle he has time to surf lit

 

[AlwaysDancing]

Is hairless, entire body, removed with tweezers. It's a miracle he has time to surf lit

Bought “jumanji” the actual board game. He doesn’t want to play it. He just dropped it off at his ex’s house. And now he waits.

 

[Hornymwtxn]

Bought “jumanji” the actual board game. He doesn’t want to play it. He just dropped it off at his ex’s house. And now he waits.

Insists jumanji be played at every family gathering. Not the original either

 

[AlwaysDancing]

Insists jumanji be played at every family gathering. Not the original either

Nothing brings families together like … dammit, ma. Stop making the chocolate cake! You know it makes me explode.

Got caught cheating at strip poker … as punishment he had to put on four times as many clothes

 

[Hornymwtxn]

Got caught cheating at strip poker … as punishment he had to put on four times as many clothes

It's the only way I can get others to play that game with me.
................

Thinks dungeons and dragons should have a bdsm tint.