Pussy Juice Hotline

[minsue]

"The steaming excrescence of her venereal swamp"

Now that's sexy.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Now that's sexy.

*shudder*

 

[minsue]

*shudder*

You want me, don't you?

 

[Xelebes]

Female ejaculate is such an arousing term itself!

 

[The_old_man]

For a very gross term ... Cunt Squeezings.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

I think Burley and Darn are on to something with:

Drilling fluid
Slippity-slip
Cooter goop
Twat snot
Muffin butter
Gash goo
Nooky num-num
Clit spit
Flavor gel

and the Old Man's contribution, Cunt Squeezings, is a, uh, memorable contribution. I'm surprised no one's mentioned, Snatch Slop (I personally find "Snatch Slime" in bad taste, so to speak, so will not mention the term.).

But seriously folks, LOTION, is a term I've used in the past, usually combined with some modifier such as warm or savory.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[OhMissScarlett]

I think Burley and Darn are on to something with:

Drilling fluid
Slippity-slip
Cooter goop
Twat snot
Muffin butter
Gash goo
Nooky num-num
Clit spit
Flavor gel

and the Old Man's contribution, Cunt Squeezings, is a, uh, memorable contribution. I'm surprised no one's mentioned, Snatch Slop (I personally find "Snatch Slime" in bad taste, so to speak, so will not mention the term.).

But seriously folks, LOTION, is a term I've used in the past, usually combined with some modifier such as warm or savory.

Rumple Foreskin

as in "motion lotion"?

still laughing about "muffin butter" and like Dran, I may have to write a story so sleazy that I can use it.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

as in "motion lotion"?

still laughing about "muffin butter" and like Dran, I may have to write a story so sleazy that I can use it.

Maybe what we need is a, Literotica Sleazy Stroke Story competition. IMHO, that would be a REALLY interesting writing contest.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[LadyJeanne]

Ring, ring, ring.

"Hello, Pussy Juice Hotline. How may I help you?"

"Um, hi. I was just wondering... Um, how much pussy juice can you get from a pussy?"

"That depends. Our experts studied this issue and the results show that a continually stimulated pussy can produce up to 4 ounces per day. However, if we include g-spot orgasms, it's possible for a pussy to produce over a gallon."

"Great. Thanks."

"You're welcome, and thank you for calling the Pussy Juice Hotline."


Ring, ring, ring.

"Hello, Pussy Juice Hotline. How may I help you?"

"Oh, I hope you can help me! My boyfriend insists on calling it muffin butter, which totally makes me giggle so I can't come. How can I get him to stop?"

"This is a common problem, so please know that you are not alone. We've found the most effective way to deal with this behavior is to ride his face - if he starts talking about muffin butter, you can simply muffle his words by lowering your pussy further onto his mouth. It makes for a nice tingling on your lips if he continues talking. Good luck and thank you for calling the Pussy Juice Hotline!"

Ring, ring, ring.

"Hello, Pussy Juice Hotline. How may I help you?"

"Yes, so, my boyfriend doesn't want me to wear any panties, but then my pussy juice ends up making wet spots on my clothes. What can I do?"

"Right. You'll want to tell your boyfriend that if he insists you don't wear panties, he'll have to follow you around all day to lick you clean. Thanks for calling the Pussy Juice Hotline, and have a great day!"

Ring, ring, ring.

 

[Guest]

Ring, ring, ring.

"Hello, Pussy Juice Hotline. How may I help you?"

"Um, hi. I was just wondering... Um, how much pussy juice can you get from a pussy?"

"That depends. Our experts studied this issue and the results show that a continually stimulated pussy can produce up to 4 ounces per day. However, if we include g-spot orgasms, it's possible for a pussy to produce over a gallon."

"Great. Thanks."

"You're welcome, and thank you for calling the Pussy Juice Hotline."


Ring, ring, ring.

"Hello, Pussy Juice Hotline. How may I help you?"

"Oh, I hope you can help me! My boyfriend insists on calling it muffin butter, which totally makes me giggle so I can't come. How can I get him to stop?"

"This is a common problem, so please know that you are not alone. We've found the most effective way to deal with this behavior is to ride his face - if he starts talking about muffin butter, you can simply muffle his words by lowering your pussy further onto his mouth. It makes for a nice tingling on your lips if he continues talking. Good luck and thank you for calling the Pussy Juice Hotline!"

Ring, ring, ring.

"Hello, Pussy Juice Hotline. How may I help you?"

"Yes, so, my boyfriend doesn't want me to wear any panties, but then my pussy juice ends up making wet spots on my clothes. What can I do?"

"Right. You'll want to tell your boyfriend that if he insists you don't wear panties, he'll have to follow you around all day to lick you clean. Thanks for calling the Pussy Juice Hotline, and have a great day!"

Ring, ring, ring.

Sounds like the start of a great new story.

"Confessions of a Pussy Juices Hotline Girl"

 

[Kassiana]

Hm. I was thinking that it would be more like, "My pussy's all juicy and slick. What should I do?"

But then again, I've never worked for a pussy juice hotline.

 

[impressive]

I smell a chain story developing here.

 

[LadyJeanne]

Sounds like the start of a great new story.

"Confessions of a Pussy Juices Hotline Girl"

Erica pulled off her headset with a sigh of relief and leaned back in her chair. It had been a long day at the Pussy Juice Hotline. That last caller asking what to do with her slick and juicy pussy had almost sent her over the edge.

"Just lean back and stroke yourself a little. Dip a finger into your pussy and slide the wetness around your clit. That's it. Get into a ryhthm that makes your heart beat a little faster and keep going. Good, good, I can hear you breathing harder. It sounds like you're getting the hang of this. You'll notice your pussy gets wetter and wetter as you rub..."

Erica's hand strayed between her legs...

 

[Guest]

Erica pulled off her headset with a sigh of relief and leaned back in her chair. It had been a long day at the Pussy Juice Hotline. That last caller asking what to do with her slick and juicy pussy had almost sent her over the edge.

"Just lean back and stroke yourself a little. Dip a finger into your pussy and slide the wetness around your clit. That's it. Get into a ryhthm that makes your heart beat a little faster and keep going. Good, good, I can hear you breathing harder. It sounds like you're getting the hang of this. You'll notice your pussy gets wetter and wetter as you rub..."

Erica's hand strayed between her legs...

Well? Hurry up and finish it. We're waiting.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Maybe what we need is a, Literotica Sleazy Stroke Story competition. IMHO, that would be a REALLY interesting writing contest.

Rumple Foreskin

that would be awesome! Quick, someone think of the criteria a sleazy story must meet.

Confessions Of A Pussy Juice Hotline Girl, brought to you by the makers of Bounty and Swiffer.

 

[Guest]

that would be awesome! Quick, someone think of the criteria a sleazy story must meet.

Confessions Of A Pussy Juice Hotline Girl, brought to you by the makers of Bounty and Swiffer.

Why not use the "Who's voice is it competition"?

 

[CrimsonMaiden]

This is definitely a story begging to be written. If no one else is going to, I certainly will.

 

[Kassiana]

Oh, I already have a tremendously silly thing going. If the external floppy drive my husband got us actually works, I may even be able to post it soon! And the chapter of Exercise that's been held up on the other computer, and a few other naughty things I've been working on!

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Dear Pussy Juice Hotline,

I'm throwing a formal dinner party that has to be just so, and I'll be serving chilled pussy juice daquiris. My neighbor says I can stretch my pussy juice supply by mixing it with clam juice. Is this acceptable?

--L.B.

Dear Pussy Juice Hotline,

I thought your readers might like to read these tips on getting more for their pussy juice dollar:
--Before squeezing your pussy to get the juice out, place it in the microwave for 10 seconds.
--Alternately, put the pussy on the counter, lean your hand on it and roll it back and forth several times.
Both methods serve to break down some of the cell walls and increase the amount of pussy juice obtainable, ensuring that when you discard your pussies, all the juice will be in the jar, not the trash.

--M. Stewart

Dear Pussy Juice Hotline,

My Home Ec teacher says that if you let your pussy juice stand, a pussy cream will separate on top, which can then be drained off and churned into pussy butter or pussy oleo. Is this true?

--T. D.

Dear Pussy Juice Hotline,

Just a note to T.D: By all means make your own, that commercial "I Can't Believe It's Not Pussy Butter" tastes terrible!

--G.B.