Said no one ever....

[Loradai]

I couldn't even tell it was in, that was amazing!

 

[PWilton]

Snoe

I didn't need Tumblr anyway....

 

[Miles Long]

Can we watch that video of your child's recorder recital?

 

[ydahecnot]

“Man, did I wank to that Goatse pic!”

 

[done_got_old]

I love it when you lie to me.

 

[alwaysaway]

I love hearing from telemarketers.

 

[ydahecnot]

“I am sooo glad the wedding planner talked us into the liver course.”

 

[done_got_old]

I love the sound of my alarm clock on Monday morning.

 

[alwaysaway]

I am so glad this outfit has no pockets.

 

[Jada59]

I'm gonna hit my thumb with this hammer!

 

[done_got_old]

That site seems legit.

 

[ydahecnot]

“Ravi has a new alt? Cool!”

 

[Emboldened1]

I cant wait to get a paper cut as I open this package.

 

[Gemma_0]

I love recorded messages.

 

[BjustB]

Please cut me off! Please interrupt!

 

[Taegul]

I'm so happy I could help that Nigerian prince transfer his riches out of his country.

 

[done_got_old]

It looks like you've been flossing your teeth too much.

 

[ydahecnot]

“Everyone is so cordial on the GB.”

 

[johnrael]

"Really wish I had some fruit cake for dessert."

 

[SoulAssasin247]

I hate getting blowjobs

 

[done_got_old]

staff meetings are my favorite things in the world

 

[KarenB59]

The weeks before Christmas break are the calmest ever in elementary school.

 

[ydahecnot]

“I think water sports is a good first-date topic.”

 

[KarenB59]

Woo hoo a lower interest rate on my credit card and a chance to renew the warranty on my vehicle all in the same day!

 

[catherinewheel77]

I really hope the waiter spits in my food.