Sexless Marriage

[subwannabe]

Geeeeeeeeeeeez. This guy is really, really good at pushing people's buttons. This is like someone on the far left trying to explain politics to a person of the far right or vice versa. It is an exercise in futility. You can never win an arguement with these kind of people. It's better to just shake your head and walk away. He certainly isn't going to convince anyone that he is right and nobody is going to ever be able to convince him that he's wrong. In his world he is probably right and he just doesn't understand our world and probably never will.

 

[bailadora]

Geeeeeeeeeeeez. This guy is really, really good at pushing people's buttons. This is like someone on the far left trying to explain politics to a person of the far right or vice versa. It is an exercise in futility. You can never win an arguement with these kind of people. It's better to just shake your head and walk away. He certainly isn't going to convince anyone that he is right and nobody is going to ever be able to convince him that he's wrong. In his world he is probably right and he just doesn't understand our world and probably never will.

I guess it all depends on how you look at it. Personally, I enjoy a good debate, as long as it stays respectful and doesn't devolve into name calling. While I don't agree with his perspective, I do think gxnn is making an honest attempt to explain the reasoning behind the thought process he and his fellow countrymen embrace when it comes to marital relations. Just as I am attempting to explain to him why such attitudes are not embraced within the US. Due to the vast cultural differences, we're probably not going to change each other's minds. But perhaps somewhere in the discussion, information might be exchanged in such a way that it fosters a bit better understanding of cultures foreign to our own (while not necessarily agreeing with them).

 

[satindesire]

Please do not use hate words and do not act like you are uneducated or a dropout.
Please do not use hate words and do not act like you are uneducated or a dropout.

It takes a long time for me the half-educated to understand fully what you want to express.
Corproral punishment is forbidden in the US? What about the tons of SM literature and movies telling you how to get pleasure from the act?
When the guy asks for help and advice, what we are expected to do is to offer our help and to give our advice from our point of view.
Everything has its own advantage and disadvantage, like a coin of two sides. That is common sense, I am very sorry to try to be a teacher teaching a mother-in-law how to give birth to a son.

We often use the method of SWOT to analyze and to judge, and we learn this from the experts of the US.
In this case, we do the analysis of wife-beating as follows:
S: to get immediate positive response from the wife, making her aware of the real situation and forcing her to make the choice, however hard it should look, that is, you must do this or you get out of here.

W: to get legal problem, the husband may be charged with wife-beating and will spend some time in jail or lose some cash, or he may infuriate his wife and may get killed or poisoned by his wife after that unkonwingly.

O: the husband may know the wife better in a global manner, and in case his wife is the fan of SM, but always keeps silent as most Asian people do because they are self-concious, wow, the dooor of paradise is now open to him.

T:The husband may be condemned by whoever if the wife-beating is revealed, like now in this forum, and the risk of losing his own life is increasing after his little brother gets some relaxation and his offsprings are released from his pouch.

I'm college educated. You're the moron who thinks beating up women is cool. That doesn't make me uneducated, Skippy. That makes YOU the immature wife-beater who doesn't understand the difference between consent and nonconsent.

He isn't in a BDSM relationship with his wife. She isn't consenting to beatings. There was NOTHING in ANY of his posts saying that she was submissive to him in a D/s sense. So your reading comprehension is at best elementary-school level and again, that doesn't make ME the uneducated one.

You calling yourself my mother in law, teaching me how to "give birth to a son" is about as stupid and nonsensical as it gets and has absolutely zero to do with the topic at hand. Again, doesn't make me the uneducated one. It makes you trying to sound "wise" by typing out nonsense bon mots designed to try and make you sound smarter than you are. You're bathing in windex sugar tits, I can see right through you.

Women that don't CONSENT to beatings won't give you immediate positive benefits. You know what she'll do? She'll call the cops on your ass, and you'll go to JAIL, and then you'll learn what it feels like to be someone's bitch when a lifer takes an interest in the way your ass looks in those orange pants.

Let me once again remind you that this couple IS NOT IN A D/S RELATIONSHIP. HE CANNOT AND SHOULD NOT BEAT HER. Consent does not equal domestic violence, what you are suggesting, IS, however.

So, do you want to try and tell me that I'm the stupid one, or would you like me to completely wreck your ass again in yet another post? Because I can keep doing this all day, Skippy.

 

[IrisAlthea]

When used against one's spouse, yes. It is legally forbidden. When used with one's child, it is legally forbidden in SOME areas. In others, it is heavily frowned upon and the person who used it can be censored by his or her peers.



One of the key elements of BDSM is CONSENT. When two adults engage in such activities, it is (usually) understood that the terms have been pre-negotiated and that all parties agree to whatever is about to happen. When one person does NOT agree (either from the beginning or later changes his or her mind) and the other person continues anyway - that is called sexual assault. The marital status of the participants has no bearing on the matter. It is STILL a crime by US law.



To a certain extent, yes. But when your advice runs counter to the accepted behavior (legally, morally, and ethically) of another country, then it has no validity. The relationship "advice" you offer from the perspective of a male citizen of mainland China simply is not tolerated in the US. And since he is living here and not there, what you do in mainland China is immaterial. Since you claim to absolutely be a law abiding citizen, believe me when I say that what you advocate ABSOLUTELY puts the husband on the WRONG side of US law. You don't have to agree with or understand US customs, values or laws. But I would hope that you would have enough respect to quit pushing an agenda that does US citizens more harm than good.

This is such a great post, I just had to quote it.

I guess it all depends on how you look at it. Personally, I enjoy a good debate, as long as it stays respectful and doesn't devolve into name calling. While I don't agree with his perspective, I do think gxnn is making an honest attempt to explain the reasoning behind the thought process he and his fellow countrymen embrace when it comes to marital relations. Just as I am attempting to explain to him why such attitudes are not embraced within the US. Due to the vast cultural differences, we're probably not going to change each other's minds. But perhaps somewhere in the discussion, information might be exchanged in such a way that it fosters a bit better understanding of cultures foreign to our own (while not necessarily agreeing with them).

And the same goes for this post.

Maybe I am male?

If needing sex makes you male, then I'm one too.

 

[gxnn]

Clarify misunderstanding if any

To: bailadora:
Thank you for your understanding, you see things clearly.From the very beginning up to now, I try to offer help, there should not be any doubt about it. The wife in question is an Asian, most probably from China, that's why I suggest some mild violence, but in name only, my intention is not to injure, but to find a way out. Some people are more used to domestic violence than other civilized ways, that is true. Like we are governed by the ironhand for a long time or stay in an enclousre too long, we do not know what to do when democracy is in our face. In your esteemed country, many black slaves during Lincoln's day may have such experience. They do not know what to do next after the liberation is given to them.
OK, some of you may call me insane, but I just want to share with you something that you may not even exists, that is all.

To: satindesire
First allow me to say sorry, I did not mean to make offense. If you felt to be offended, it must be the choice of words. Language has become the biggest barrier in the communication, and I find it very difficult to think how to say the things properly and how to express the exact meaning in the proper words and phrases at the same time.
I did not call you my mother. It is the set phrase we use in China, literally meaning an inexperienced daughter-in-law tries to teach her mother-in-law how to give birth to her son, that is, the husband of the daughter-in-law. I am very sorry I fail to make the full meaning across to you.I meant that what I was going to say should have been easy enough for you to understand. I was just trying to plough the sand.
"Uneducated" is not such a bad word because I learned from Donald Trump in the reality show "Apprentice", when many students from famous colleges and universties often lose to those with little college education background, booksmart and street smart? I do not remember the words very well.
In your latest challenge to my account, you used many new expressions, i mean the new to me expressions, to show your annoyance and contempt, I can feel them, though I cannot fully understand them.
I did not advise to beat the wife freely, it should be done with conditions. When there is still chance for us to save the marriage, why do we not give a try?Either the husband or the wife must sacrifice if the marriage can have some improvement, the man has done all he can, so it is the turn of the wife to make concession. It is very natural, do you not think so?
Again, I make it clear that I have never tried to look down upon you, or make you lose face, or make you look stupid. If you are stupid, then I am more stupid because what the heck is that I try to debate with a stupid or insane person?

 

[Cattypuss]

gxnn the problem here is actually quite simple and is not really one of language.

You are advocating using physical violence against a wife to obtain sex and co-operation.

The problem is not one of language differences and the question is not about the degree of violence.

The problem is that you are advocating using violence against a wife, and you are advocating it to an audience who are culturally DEEPLY opposed to what you are advocating.

You are not going to "convert" anyone here.

 

[satindesire]

To: satindesire
First allow me to say sorry, I did not mean to make offense. If you felt to be offended, it must be the choice of words. Language has become the biggest barrier in the communication, and I find it very difficult to think how to say the things properly and how to express the exact meaning in the proper words and phrases at the same time.
I did not call you my mother. It is the set phrase we use in China, literally meaning an inexperienced daughter-in-law tries to teach her mother-in-law how to give birth to her son, that is, the husband of the daughter-in-law. I am very sorry I fail to make the full meaning across to you.I meant that what I was going to say should have been easy enough for you to understand. I was just trying to plough the sand.
"Uneducated" is not such a bad word because I learned from Donald Trump in the reality show "Apprentice", when many students from famous colleges and universties often lose to those with little college education background, booksmart and street smart? I do not remember the words very well.
In your latest challenge to my account, you used many new expressions, i mean the new to me expressions, to show your annoyance and contempt, I can feel them, though I cannot fully understand them.
I did not advise to beat the wife freely, it should be done with conditions. When there is still chance for us to save the marriage, why do we not give a try?Either the husband or the wife must sacrifice if the marriage can have some improvement, the man has done all he can, so it is the turn of the wife to make concession. It is very natural, do you not think so?
Again, I make it clear that I have never tried to look down upon you, or make you lose face, or make you look stupid. If you are stupid, then I am more stupid because what the heck is that I try to debate with a stupid or insane person?

This is not a language barrier problem. Here in the US, we see women as human beings. Is that so hard for you to understand, or is your cultural brainwashing so bad that you are a hopless misogynist? Everywhere in the world, people are people, regardless of gender, and you don't BEAT UP A PERSON TO GET THEM TO FUCK YOU. Period.

Women are people. Human beings much like you. If you don't want to be beaten in order to be forced to do something, why the hell would you think that it's okay to do it to a woman? You see women as LESSER, as less than human, and not worthy or worth the treatment you yourself as a man would want.

That is the issue we're all taking offense to. This is not a language issue. Domestic Violence is NOT AN OPTION.

I could also try to murder someone for money. It's doing violence to a person in order to get what I want. Yet that's against the law and against human rights. Yet you don't see beating a woman to get laid as a complete heartless affront to her status as a person of worth.

No matter what set of genitals a human is born with, they AS A HUMAN BEING have the right to be treated with respect and dignity. And until you recognize a woman as a human being of worth equal to a man, you will NEVER "get" what you're doing wrong here and WHY I'm in total contempt of you.

 

[gxnn]

I have asked for forgiveness and understanding due to the language problem, but some of you are still stubborn, do you not think it is a kind of violence, say, language or verbal violence done on a person who knows just some of your native language? What do you say to that? I do not think some of you are sincere enough to discuss the problem, and I am afraid you may become radical. Cultures are varied and different but there is no good culture or bad culture, or your culture is superior to mine, ridiculous!before the whites arrive at the American continent, the ruling culture is Indian, so do not use the word like "brainwashing" to humiliate others, you also brainwash many innoceent brains of the local Indians or even get them vanishing from the earth.

When I use the phrase "domestic violence", my intention was to make the matter easy to understand, and as everybody could see in my later explanation, I did not advocate to injure anybody if other option can achieve the same result. Fairness and efficiency are rivals, at times, but we can just to get the solution out of this if we can find the balance.

Again, I come to offer my advice, take it or leave it, it is up to the old gentleman who has no love to make. Human rights? Now here is the human right conflict, what can you do? Like the falling into river of two of your dearest ones, if you can only save one, which one will you save?

I have shown my respect to the defenders of USA morality, and I hope they can show the due respect to me as they are expected. Thanks.

 

[victorious]

gxnn,

Here is a suggestion for you: before making a response to a post, make sure that you have read through the whole thread- if you had, you would have read that our relationship has vastly improved.

As for putting hands on a woman- Negative- not allowed- do that in the US and you will land in Jail or Prison. A Man who has to hit a woman or force her to have sex is nothing more than a bully or coward- He has to use force in order to get his way.

Psychologists call this person a Narcissist- self centered - only caring about their own needs/wants and not caring about others.

To everyone else who has replied- we are doing much better- talking, having fun, acting like newlyweds again.

I have asked for forgiveness and understanding due to the language problem, but some of you are still stubborn, do you not think it is a kind of violence, say, language or verbal violence done on a person who knows just some of your native language? What do you say to that? I do not think some of you are sincere enough to discuss the problem, and I am afraid you may become radical. Cultures are varied and different but there is no good culture or bad culture, or your culture is superior to mine, ridiculous!before the whites arrive at the American continent, the ruling culture is Indian, so do not use the word like "brainwashing" to humiliate others, you also brainwash many innoceent brains of the local Indians or even get them vanishing from the earth.

When I use the phrase "domestic violence", my intention was to make the matter easy to understand, and as everybody could see in my later explanation, I did not advocate to injure anybody if other option can achieve the same result. Fairness and efficiency are rivals, at times, but we can just to get the solution out of this if we can find the balance.

Again, I come to offer my advice, take it or leave it, it is up to the old gentleman who has no love to make. Human rights? Now here is the human right conflict, what can you do? Like the falling into river of two of your dearest ones, if you can only save one, which one will you save?

I have shown my respect to the defenders of USA morality, and I hope they can show the due respect to me as they are expected. Thanks.

 

[subwannabe]

Bailadora:

I enjoy a good debate too as long as I believe I can score a few points and somehow get at least a small part of my point accross but I believe it is utterly useless to senselessly bang your head up against a brick wall that has no reasoning ability because it is nothing but a brick wall.

 

[gxnn]

Victorious,
Good to see you have a happy ending in your marriage crisis.
The next thing you are going to do is to save your seeds to paint the bedroom red? Have a nice weekend and keep us posted about your naughty fun in and outside bedroom, otherwise you are doing some forum violence on us innocent people.
But your family matter (a big moutain out of an asshole,hohoho)nearly could have been turned into an international conflict, or the verbal world war,with many kind-hearted but weak-bodied persons like me victimized.
Thanks to all who have enlightened or educated me in this way or that. I have seen worse, so I can accept everything, do not worry about me.

 

[bailadora]

(a big moutain out of an asshole,hohoho)

In the interest of improving your English skills, I believe the phrase you are after is "making a mountain out of a molehill.''

(Which means to make a big fuss over something that is fairly unimportant).

 

[bailadora]

Bailadora:

I enjoy a good debate too as long as I believe I can score a few points and somehow get at least a small part of my point accross but I believe it is utterly useless to senselessly bang your head up against a brick wall that has no reasoning ability because it is nothing but a brick wall.

*laughs*

Someone said something similar to me not so long ago. Basically, I was told that if there's not a chance of either of us changing the other person's mind - where is the value in even having the discussion in the first place?

I can only speak for myself, but I enjoy the verbal sparring (caveat, keep it respectful). And while I quite often have preconceived notions that I defend, there is always the chance that someone will be able to present a logical reason that I've not heard or thought of. I might reconsider my position or I might later find information that refutes what the opposing side presented. Either way - it causes me to really think and examine the reasoning behind my thought process, instead of blindly adhering to my own beliefs because " that's the way it's always been."

 

[gxnn]

[/b]



In the interest of improving your English skills, I believe the phrase you are after is "making a mountain out of a molehill.''

(Which means to make a big fuss over something that is fairly unimportant).

Yes,exactly, you speak my mind or steal my heart.
In China we have a saying which goes the scandal of a family however nasty it is should not be disclosed by the member of the family to the public, which means one should mind his own business, and another saying goes that even the honest and clean officials can hardly make the disinterested judgment on family matters, which indicates that outsiders cannot get the clear picture of the whole situation, so their help is often useless and backfires.
But here when the old guy publicized his no-love affair, it struck me that the matter could not be worse and shall be addressed by hook and by crook immediately, otherwise the consequence might have been very serious, where the hero could commit suicide or the heroine could elope with a third party, taking with them all of the possession of the poor old gentleman.
Now the sky is clear and blue as the one I saw in California, my worry is superfluous, great!

 

[victorious]

Giant Leap Backward

Just when I thought that things were getting better- I got slammed

Starting a new job next week that for the first month will require me to be away for training- after that I will be back in the area and home.

Pay is great and so are benefits- plus expense account

Last Friday, washer went out and stopped working. Called the service company to have a technician look at it. Washer is almost five years old- but when we bought it we purchased an extended service warranty. Technician came today to look at the machine. He said that the machine needs a new drum and tub. Ordered the parts and said he would be back to fix machine and install parts in two weeks. If we did not have the warranty, the cost to fix it would be $1,300 dollars-

Since we have the warranty- our cost is ZERO!!

Seems my wife is more concerned that the dogs will not have smooth towels to use for their skin after a bath than the fact we saved $1,300 dollars with our warranty.

We won't be able to use the machine for 10 days- then it will be fixed. Complain, complain, complain.

Seems like I married a narcissist- cares more of me, me, me and not us, us, us.

I have been trying to watch costs and save money so I have money needed until first new job paycheck (in 2 weeks) for travel and gas costs (these will be reimbursed later)- wife seems to want to spend, spend, spend- Tried to tell her I need to save right now- all I hear is to stop being stingy and spend- God will provide- don't worry-

I am at a loss.

 

[SweetErika]

Just when I thought that things were getting better- I got slammed

Starting a new job next week that for the first month will require me to be away for training- after that I will be back in the area and home.

Pay is great and so are benefits- plus expense account

Last Friday, washer went out and stopped working. Called the service company to have a technician look at it. Washer is almost five years old- but when we bought it we purchased an extended service warranty. Technician came today to look at the machine. He said that the machine needs a new drum and tub. Ordered the parts and said he would be back to fix machine and install parts in two weeks. If we did not have the warranty, the cost to fix it would be $1,300 dollars-

Since we have the warranty- our cost is ZERO!!

Seems my wife is more concerned that the dogs will not have smooth towels to use for their skin after a bath than the fact we saved $1,300 dollars with our warranty.

We won't be able to use the machine for 10 days- then it will be fixed. Complain, complain, complain.

Seems like I married a narcissist- cares more of me, me, me and not us, us, us.

I have been trying to watch costs and save money so I have money needed until first new job paycheck (in 2 weeks) for travel and gas costs (these will be reimbursed later)- wife seems to want to spend, spend, spend- Tried to tell her I need to save right now- all I hear is to stop being stingy and spend- God will provide- don't worry-

I am at a loss.

On what planet does a new washer cost $1300?

I was just at Home Depot, and the brand new, high capacity, HE machines were running closer to $650. Even a stacking/spacesaver W+D unit is under $1000. Home Depot isn't a bastion of great deals on appliances, either. When we bought this house, I bought a W+D for $1200 including tax, and that was when the HE machines were much fresher on the market (the cost has come down quite a bit since then) and before several hundred in rebates. It might cost more to repair your washer than replace it, but if you were desperate and low on funds, I bet you could get a new washer for well under $500.

I know you have the warranty, but it sounds like this repair guy is trying to take you for a ride. Be very, very careful from this point on, and make sure you call around and do your other research before you have anything fixed in the future.

As for your wife, did you really think she made a miraculous change in such a short period? The traits that you've seen for years may go into hiding for a bit, but they're going to remain unless she works hard to change. Meaningful long(er)-term takes time, effort, a lot of introspection, etc.

Regarding the towels, tell her there are these things called "laundromats" and she can wash stuff, including the dogs' towels, at one of them while your washer is out of commission.

 

[subwannabe]

Your wife is and always will be the same. She never changed at all. She has always wanted a sugar daddy and treated you like shit when you failed to be her sugar daddy due to your life situation. Your marriage will be a bundle of joy whenever you give her the life she wants. Penny pinching is not the life she wants, even if it is short term. She didn't marry you or even love you. She just wanted someone to take care of her, no strings attached. She loves having a sugar daddy. If that's you then it is you, if not then she is going to treat you like shit and will never appreciate what she does have. She's nothing but a spoiled brat who wants a rich husband to take care of her. Personally I wouldn't live with a bitch like that but you have a lot of time and feelings invested in this relationship and want it to work out more than your ability to objectively look at the situation.

 

[pplwatching]

.....

 

[victorious]

Update

PPLwatching and everyone else:

Just now able to post. Have been away for training for over a month and just returned about a week ago. Have been very busy, and have been working an average of 16 hours a day, five days a week. My schedule is 7 am to 7 pm Monday through Friday, with some days being longer.
I am usually on the road visiting work sites 3-4 days a week. The other day I am working virtual out of the house.
Still having problems.
Wife doesn't understand that when I am home I am working- wants me to do all of the things around the house even though I am working from home.
I might get a call from a client and be talking to the client, or get a call from my boss and be talking to him, and my wife will come in screaming and yelling "get off the phone! that can wait, I need help now!!
Very embarrassing for me.

I do have an office close by- 30 minutes away and I am thinking of going there to work on days that I am not traveling throughout the state.

Any ideas or thoughts?

I know that it has been a little while since you wrote this. I hope that you guys have managed to move past this, and that your new job is going well. I have been out of town, or I would have replied sooner.

Sometimes in marriage the wind is at our backs. Other times it's blowing right at us and seems to keep us from getting anywhere at all. It's important to be prepared for those times. In my experience it's important to maintain a sense of perspective, and not let emotions make us lose sight of what might really be happening and to keep us from finding solutions. Perhaps more importantly, we need to keep sight of the fact that we chose to marry our partners for a reason.

Your $1,300 estimate doesn't surprise me. Like so many things any more, it is cheaper to replace them than to fix them. Labor is a big part, but parts are also expensive and of course the shop marks them up. You are saving money by taking advantage of a warranty repair, which you paid for. Beyond that I would suggest that you don't focus on that number. New machines are, as Erika pointed out, much cheaper than that.

Earlier in this thread you wrote about money attitudes, and wrote that you felt she didn't care about finances. That may very well be an objective assesment, however adding that she's happy as long as she has money to spend is an emotional reaction and is (imho) counter productive. There are, of course, selfish people in the world who really don't care about anyone but themselves. In my humble experience that is not usually the case. What is more likely is that like most couples, each of you has different views about money and how to manage it. It's not uncommon for those differences to cause problems in the marriage. Money is often cited as a major reason for divorce.

I believe that it's important to understand that our money habits are the result of many life experiences, beginning with our parents and including our own life experiences. People who have never had to worry about money problems can have a difficult time adjusting to not having any money. If your wife's parents had relaxed attitudes about money, then it wouldn't be a big surprise the she feels the same way. Some people have a very difficult time adjusting to major life changes, including financial situations. Tightening the belt can be a very difficult process for these people, because it requires accepting that things have changed for the worse. Many people associate money with success. There can be a perception that if we no longer have it, then we are somehow failing. People who have never learned good financial habits or lack the willpower to manage money are less likely to be prepared for financial setbacks.

My point is that it may be naive to assume that this is about being selfish. You know your wife, and I would encourage you to consider if any of these reasons, or others, might be contributing to her reluctance to accept that you can't afford a new machine. I suspect that your machine has been repaired by now, however if not and her primary concern about a warranty repair is having clean towels, then take them to the neighborhood laundry mat and wash them there.

Staying married is a choice. Reading your posts, it seems to me that you love this woman and enjoy being married to her. If you chose to make this about a character flaw that you see in her, then you are doing your marriage a disservice. I understand your emotions, but cooler heads need to prevail. Better money habits can be difficult to learn, but if you find that my thoughts have a ring of truth to them then don't blame her or take her habits personally. Perhaps you need to find ways to help her learn how to better manage money, and to the see the importance of husbanding it.

Best of luck to you both

 

[Noor]

PPLwatching and everyone else:

Just now able to post. Have been away for training for over a month and just returned about a week ago. Have been very busy, and have been working an average of 16 hours a day, five days a week. My schedule is 7 am to 7 pm Monday through Friday, with some days being longer.
I am usually on the road visiting work sites 3-4 days a week. The other day I am working virtual out of the house.
Still having problems.
Wife doesn't understand that when I am home I am working- wants me to do all of the things around the house even though I am working from home.
I might get a call from a client and be talking to the client, or get a call from my boss and be talking to him, and my wife will come in screaming and yelling "get off the phone! that can wait, I need help now!!
Very embarrassing for me.

I do have an office close by- 30 minutes away and I am thinking of going there to work on days that I am not traveling throughout the state.

Any ideas or thoughts?

yes, leave the house to work! This is not uncommon even when relatives know you are working, they forget or something.

 

[pplwatching]

.....

 

[SweetErika]

You could also try setting up a system for when she truly needs to speak to you while you're working. If she's phone-savvy, texting may work; if not, writing a note on a whiteboard or something near your workspace could be a solution.

In the end, if you've told her the advantages of telecommuting and set groundrules like her not speaking to you while you're on the phone and writing a message down instead, but she's still interfering with your work, you'll need to go to the office.

You may also want to tell her that if you appear unprofessional due to any distractions or interruptions while you're working from home, you'll not only be forced to go to the office, you'll be at risk for losing your job and new career. Where would she and the dogs be if you lost your income again? I think you said she was kind of focused on money/materialistic things; she might get the message better if you give her the scoop in her "language," you know?

 

[subwannabe]

To play devil's advocate here, it is possible that she likes it when you're gone and doesn't like it when you are home so she is purposely ticking you off, hoping that you do your work somewhere else and she can be home without you.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Holy hell this thread is amazing. All kinds of good stuff.

First off, can we all just agree this guy's wife is a fucking idiot? Now, I'm assuming this guy's side of the story to be the truth. I'm sure she has a side of the story as well. But if 50% of the stuff he says is true, then good lord.

Secondly, why on earth do you love her? I'm just curious. She sounds like a soulless hagbeast to me.

I'm not for divorce. I do not think its a good thing. But come on. If what you say is true, then it's obvious she is an abusive ass. Maybe not physically. But she's doing some severe mental damage, mate. She's disrespectful and horrible.

I have a hard time believing that "reasoning" with this person is going toget you anywhere. If she doesn't already understand that when you are working, you can't do stuff around the house, I have no reason to believe that any amount of explanation would help. It's simple shit, not calculus.

We often use the method of SWOT to analyze and to judge, and we learn this from the experts of the US.
In this case, we do the analysis of wife-beating as follows:
S: to get immediate positive response from the wife, making her aware of the real situation and forcing her to make the choice, however hard it should look, that is, you must do this or you get out of here.

W: to get legal problem, the husband may be charged with wife-beating and will spend some time in jail or lose some cash, or he may infuriate his wife and may get killed or poisoned by his wife after that unkonwingly.

O: the husband may know the wife better in a global manner, and in case his wife is the fan of SM, but always keeps silent as most Asian people do because they are self-concious, wow, the dooor of paradise is now open to him.

T:The husband may be condemned by whoever if the wife-beating is revealed, like now in this forum, and the risk of losing his own life is increasing after his little brother gets some relaxation and his offsprings are released from his pouch.

Does anyone else find this to be the worst acronym in all of history? How is this an acronym????

I have an acronym that I'd like to use.

A.S.S.

A: You can't beat your wife here in the States. Even if it's just a "little" beating.

S: The language barrier is not the issue. It's an issue of thinking you can beat your wife. I see that's a cultural difference. Well, of that's your culture, then it sucks. Not all cultures are equal. Some cultures fucking suck. Yours is one of them.

S: Your ideas are terrible.

I do have a question for Sir Gxnn... Do you beat your wife or slave girl?

 

[pplwatching]

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