So, I'm reading this book....

[enjoyingitall]

Good Morning everyone. There is really only one more question that I can pose for us from this book..Thinking it's time for another trip to the book store for me..

Or..if any of you have questions you think we would like to explore....please feel free to add them.


According to the author of The Erotic Mind, each person has what he calls a Core Erotic Theme. He says that it is through this CET that we make our sexual choices. He refers to the CET as the internal blueprint for arousal and sexuality. Think about yourself in terms of your sexual nature. How would you describe yourself sexually? Include your sexual desires, things like places, positions or whatever else comes to mind, any fetishes, overall sexual demeanor.

This might be interesting......at least we'll get to know each other a bit better.

 

[enjoyingitall]

K..I'll go first today.

Sexually, I would describe myself as explorative, but not outrageous. By that, I mean I am always ready to try new things, but I will always draw the line at some things. Extreme sex is not for me. I have never been into any form of pain during sex, nor do I get any kind of charge from being submissive. I look at sex as two partners, equally pleasuring each other.

I think I'm pretty aggressive, but still with a gentle side. My desires are to please my lover as he pleases me. Tender love making to just really passionate sex both have their place in my desires. Best or favorite positions definitely vary for me.
Though having my lover behind me is always good. But then so is having him on top with my legs over his shoulders. But there are so many good ways, can't really narrow it down that much. Concerning places, I do like to be creative. Outdoor sex is always a turn on for me. As to fetishes, compared to some of the things I've on lit..I don't think I have any! Again, nothing extreme...

Overall, I think my sexuality comes through in my daily life pretty evidently. So, I'd say I am comfortable with my own sexuality. I've learned not to hide it, but to embrace it. I'm a toucher. I love to touch and be touched, even if not in a sexual way.

Ok..that's me..Your turn.

 

[lilrosie lips]

this is a great question EJ and I have been mulling it over in my mind during odd moments of the day... but I think I need to think about this some more which I will do on the way home... then post a semi-coherent reply... besides I don't think I can do this justice while working...

Damm those people.. don't they know whats important??? LOL

 

[enjoyingitall]

Hiya Rosie..I thought everyone had abandoned the thread today! LOL
Glad you like the question though. It took me a while to come up with my response to it, too.

Don't cha hate when work gets in the way of good stuff??
Looking forward to reading your answer later.

 

[lilrosie lips]

Good Morning everyone. There is really only one more question that I can pose for us from this book..Thinking it's time for another trip to the book store for me..

Or..if any of you have questions you think we would like to explore....please feel free to add them.


According to the author of The Erotic Mind, each person has what he calls a Core Erotic Theme. He says that it is through this CET that we make our sexual choices. He refers to the CET as the internal blueprint for arousal and sexuality. Think about yourself in terms of your sexual nature. How would you describe yourself sexually? Include your sexual desires, things like places, positions or whatever else comes to mind, any fetishes, overall sexual demeanor.

This might be interesting......at least we'll get to know each other a bit better.

CET.... I thought about this quite a bit during odd moments today, and I find it really interesting to think of myself in these terms. I haven't spent alot of time conciously thinking of what my sexuality is, other than superficial terms. I am playful, flirty, tender, generally well versed in the normal sexual areas, but like EJ I don't care for anything that could be truly hurtful. Sometimes a little pain (ie. a light spanking) can be stimulating, fun and add a bit of variety in the right circumstances. I know to me that I have always been very attracted to the tactile, the sensual pleasures as much, or maybe more than, the pursuit of orgasms per se. I can always give myself an orgasm, but I can't share the experience alone, so partners have always played a large role. But being a people person and a people pleaser, I have at times submerged my own desires to fulfill my partners. I try more and more now to be more expressive of my own needs, but I still find that hard to do.

I do have a very active fantasy life. Some that have played out in real life, and the results have been mixed. Some were wonderful experiences and some frankly killed that fantasy for me. Not all fantasies should however be played out in real life. Some are just too dangerous to do so. I have this recurrent fantasy of stalking Alan Rickman (he's an actor to those of you who aren't familar with him) and cornering him in a dark alley way and having my way with him. But this is definetly NOT a fantasy to play out in real life. I really don't fancy being put into jail for stalking. LOL, as much as I might fancy the person.

I do like exploring and playing and dressing up and acting out fantasies. I couldn't be a sub or a domitrix in real life, but for an evening I could play one. I think however lots of this has to do with how comfortable the other person is with exploring and role playing and what the level of trust between us is. Trust is very important in really letting myself go. As long as I feel that the person on the other end would not think less of me as a human being, then I can let go and explore my wilder side. There is an old saying that goes something like this "Nothing is either good or bad, but thinking makes it so." That is really key to me in all my interactiions. If I feel that someone is doing something to make me feel humilated or to gain power over me, then I will clam up, but if I trust that this is an adventure we are exploring together, then I am happy to see where it leads.

As for things like positions etc. I can't say I ever found one that was truly bad. Some work better than others depending on the other person. Bed, Couch, Kitchen floor, living room floor, bathtub, shower, Kitchen table, coffee table, car, movie theater just about anywhere and anything can and usually is fun.

So all and all I don't think I am that mild or wild, probably somewhere inbetween the two polar opposits, is my comfort level. But that said, my comfort level can be easily expanded if needs be.

 

[lovemetender]

Good Morning everyone. There is really only one more question that I can pose for us from this book..Thinking it's time for another trip to the book store for me..

Or..if any of you have questions you think we would like to explore....please feel free to add them.


According to the author of The Erotic Mind, each person has what he calls a Core Erotic Theme. He says that it is through this CET that we make our sexual choices. He refers to the CET as the internal blueprint for arousal and sexuality. Think about yourself in terms of your sexual nature. How would you describe yourself sexually? Include your sexual desires, things like places, positions or whatever else comes to mind, any fetishes, overall sexual demeanor.

This might be interesting......at least we'll get to know each other a bit better.

ok....let me give this a whirl...

I would say I'm sexually open,adventurous,& playful....not into pain & definitely on the tender & sensual side....that's not to say I can't be firm or aggressive when the mood strikes but I guess I just love the loving part of lovemaking a little more then the hard physical part...I'm into a mutually rewarding experience & thoroughly enjoy pleasing my partner...this in effect heightens my desires for my lover & usually leads to a most intense pleasure for myself as well....

places & positions varies depending upon mine & my lovers moods & desires....lets just say there aren't too many positions or places that I'd pass on it's that adventurous thing again...I guess the one common denominator is that during lovemaking it's a guarantee that at some point I must taste my lover....as far as intercourse goes top,bottom or from behind I'd hate like hell to choose one over the other as they all have high levels of arousal for me

my overall sexual demeanor I would describe as fun,open,pleasing,loving & healthy

 

[tonitits]

Well I like trying new things. I am not into real kinky sex. maybe a little gentle spanking, maybe tied the hands, but not into dom/sub or any extreme sex. I like to be the aggressor at times, but mostly I think I am more submissive. I love just about any position. I love oral sex, I give more than recieve, but enjoy both. I am into pleasing my partner and that brings me pleasure. There are times that I am more into the gentle more loving aspect of it. But there are some times that just raw passion is good and usually I like to follow that up with the more gentle loving type of sex. I guess you might say I like the best of both worlds.

 

[enjoyingitall]

Wow Rosie..I loved reading your reply to that one. Very well stated

LMT and Toni..great replies too

Thanks, you guys for sharing your thoughts on this.

 

[enjoyingitall]

Let’s turn the page a bit here...switch the focus to intimacy.

What is intimacy? How can it be defined? Not from a dictionary, but in your life.

What makes for intimacy? How do you know when you have reached a level of emotional intimacy with some one? Are there overt signs?

This would include both physical and emotional intimacy, but I think we can all pretty readily describe physical intimacy. So, I guess I'm thinking more in terms of the emotional aspects. Do you find difficulties in this side of your persona? Or is it relatively easy for you?

I suppose this entails both online and real life.

Lots of questions..

Just my inquisitive mind at work again.

So..for today’s pondering.....Your Thoughts On Intimacy

 

[lovemetender]

Let’s turn the page a bit here...switch the focus to intimacy.

What is intimacy? How can it be defined? Not from a dictionary, but in your life.

What makes for intimacy? How do you know when you have reached a level of emotional intimacy with some one? Are there overt signs?

This would include both physical and emotional intimacy, but I think we can all pretty readily describe physical intimacy. So, I guess I'm thinking more in terms of the emotional aspects. Do you find difficulties in this side of your persona? Or is it relatively easy for you?

I suppose this entails both online and real life.

Lots of questions..

Just my inquisitive mind at work again.

So..for today’s pondering.....Your Thoughts On Intimacy

the emotional side of intimacy for me is when the person of my desires creeps into my thoughts during the course of my day & brings a smile to my face & a warmth to my soul...it might be a song a word or a visual that triggers this....at this point I know I've crossed into the emotional side of a relationship & there's no turning back & you just have to have enough strenght to let yourself let down your emotional guards & let things go where they may without worrying about where it will all lead

 

[enjoyingitall]

Great answer, baby!

Intimacy for me means that I have allowed a person to get close to me in ways that I don't for others. It means that I think of them often in ways that touch my heart, and I share things with them that I don't share with others.

It can be defined by the way in which the two of us interact with each other. Secrets shared, confidences exchanged, and a genuine feeling of care for that person that goes beyond friendship.

I know when I've reached the level of emotional intimacy when I can feel that person in my heart. That sounds vague, but it's one of those things that can't be explained, just felt.

I usually find it rather difficult to expose myself emotionally to someone. But once I do, I'm very open to them. It's that idea of how much of me do I want to let them know..sometimes that's hard for me. But there have been those times when it was so right, that it came easily for me. Not many of those, but when it has happened, I was very glad I let them in.

 

[tonitits]

my reply is similar to ya's. Intimacy to me is being able to let my guard down and share my innermost feelings and let someone in. This is not an easy thing for me to do, I have been hurt too many times and afraid of getting hurt again. But once I do get intimate with someone then I feel comfortable in sharing my hopes, dreams and feelings with and hope and pray that they do not take advantage of me in doing so.

 

[naughtygirl]

Good Morning!

The latest question I stumbled across in this book involved aphrodisiacs. Not in the traditional sense of those all elusive ones though. It speaks not only of physical ones, but emotional ones too. The author calls them potentently powerful pulls.
He places much emphasis on the emotional pulls.

So, today I'm wondering...

What do you think are both the physical and emotional aphrodisiacs that attract you to someone?

What is it about another person that really gets to you?

ok, I have gotten a little behind with my input on your questions EJ...they are great thought provoking questions...

Physical aphrodisiacs include the way he smells, his eyes (Im a big sucker for eyes) and his hands. I am usually attracted to men that seem to have strong hands.

Emotional aphrodisiacs...well there has to be a certain openess....playfulness is a big turn on for me, as well as honesty and good communication skills. Sense of humor really really turns me on!

 

[TantaLiza]

the emotional side of intimacy for me is when the person of my desires creeps into my thoughts during the course of my day & brings a smile to my face & a warmth to my soul...it might be a song a word or a visual that triggers this....at this point I know I've crossed into the emotional side of a relationship & there's no turning back & you just have to have enough strenght to let yourself let down your emotional guards & let things go where they may without worrying about where it will all lead

Have to totally agree with LMT....you said it better than I probably could...

Liza

 

[lilrosie lips]

Intimacy. Like lots of others I find it hard to be easily emotionally intimate with anyone. And I think that is a good thing for it not to be an everyday commodity...for me, intimacy is a rare thing that grows between two people like a beautiful garden plant. It comes into being slowly, it takes time and patience to grow, trust and understanding to keep it strong and love to make it bloom. It's not something I will find in a hour, or a day or a week... It's a life time goal.

 

[enjoyingitall]

Toni..NG..Liza and Rosie..good to see you all here...thanks for giving us your ideads on this..Seems most of us feel close to the same way...Loved your analogy Rosie.


I was trying to think of a question for today..so far..no luck. If any of you have one, please do post it..

 

[lilrosie lips]

Don't have anything to say

But.... BUMP.!!!

I like this thread... I don't want it to die...

 

[Lance Hardrock]

Re: Don't have anything to say

But.... BUMP.!!!

I like this thread... I don't want it to die...

I agree with lilrosie, don't let this thread die.

 

[enjoyingitall]

Re: Re: Don't have anything to say

I agree with lilrosie, don't let this thread die.

I would like to see us continue to discuss things here, but as I said...I need some help with a question...So..if you have one for us...post away.

 

[tonitits]

Re: Re: Re: Don't have anything to say

I would like to see us continue to discuss things here, but as I said...I need some help with a question...So..if you have one for us...post away.

Can't think of any questions to post, but giving this a bump...in case someone else has something to discuss.

 

[enjoyingitall]

Thanks for bumping this Toni..I was just about to go look for it..

Ok..so I was looking through some other books I have, trying to come up with an idea for another question to ponder and I came across this....

The question is...”What makes you feel sexy?” Is it something that comes from within, just a way you feel about yourself or do you rely on what others think or say about you. Is your ability to feel sexy dependent on outside factors or is it a part of you that you can readily feel? Or is it a combination of those things?

This isn't really talking about feeling sexual, but just plain old feelin sexy and desirable.

 

[tonitits]

Thanks for bumping this Toni..I was just about to go look for it..

Ok..so I was looking through some other books I have, trying to come up with an idea for another question to ponder and I came across this....

The question is...”What makes you feel sexy?” Is it something that comes from within, just a way you feel about yourself or do you rely on what others think or say about you. Is your ability to feel sexy dependent on outside factors or is it a part of you that you can readily feel? Or is it a combination of those things?

This isn't really talking about feeling sexual, but just plain old feelin sexy and desirable.

Well when I look in the mirror I do not see a sexy woman....I see the girl next door, nothing special, but when I wear some sexy lingerie, bra, etc...then I do feel sexy, especially thinking of how men might think it is sexy....and with their comments and attention then it makes me feel even more sexy! kind of like a merry - go - round. But men's comments can really make me feel sexy..and it does not have to always be sexual talk that makes me feel that way. So in wrapping this up, I guess it does depend on outside factors.

 

[Lance Hardrock]

Inside/outsid

Thanks for bumping this Toni..I was just about to go look for it..

Ok..so I was looking through some other books I have, trying to come up with an idea for another question to ponder and I came across this....

The question is...”What makes you feel sexy?” Is it something that comes from within, just a way you feel about yourself or do you rely on what others think or say about you. Is your ability to feel sexy dependent on outside factors or is it a part of you that you can readily feel? Or is it a combination of those things?

This isn't really talking about feeling sexual, but just plain old feelin sexy and desirable.

Well, I've always liked my body (even though it isn't a body builder's body or like the one in my av), but I've always had a narcissistic (sp?) streak. I admire myself everyday in the mirror (clothed and of course unclothed). So that has something to do with me feeling sexy. I have a good self-image (even though as I said, I'm just the man next door and an aging one at that).

The other thing that makes me feel sexy is from the outside. Sometimes the wife will give me a knowing look, or a wink, or just a smile. For example, last night, she just started rubbing my back in bed (that led to other things, but I'll save that for the DSD thread).

And as much as I love that from her, when a strange woman gives me a smile, I go bonkers. I really feel sexy. Even though there probably is no sexual innuendo in her smile. Still it is nice to be noticed favorably.

So that about wraps it up for me on feeling sexy.

 

[enjoyingitall]

Thanks Toni and Lance for posting...I just love reading everyone's thoughts on these things..

 

[enjoyingitall]

Feeling sexy for me comes from within for the most part. It’s not like I look in the mirror and think, “Oh, how sexy!” ...Hardly that..LOL.

But it’s something that I feel about myself at times without any outside factors. Sure, when someone compliments me, I receive it well, and feel good, but I don’t rely on other people to make me feel that I am sexy. That’s not to say that I don’t appreciate it if I know that someone finds me to be sexy. That, in and of itself, is a boost.

Obviously, you all know that I have a penchant for sexy lingerie and when I am wearing it, there is a certain bonus feeling of sexiness I guess. I can feel sexy despite what I might or might not be wearing. Sometimes, faded jeans and a T-shirt can do it. Sometimes, nothing at all..

But more often than not, feeling sexy and desirable is something that comes from the inside out..not the other way around.