songs about Masturbation

[islander01]

Re: Re: Just a little ditty..........

http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung0903/spezial/Fool/appl.gif

I thought you couldnt get the clap masturbating

 

[cookiejar]

Re: Re: Re: Just a little ditty..........

I thought you couldnt get the clap masturbating

That is so bad...
http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung0903/sprachlos/speechless-smiley-004.gif

 

[Zen_Life]

Billy Idol....

Dancin' With Myself



That's no joke either. That song is meant to be about jackin'

 

[Soron]

Two songs by the Who...

"Pictures of Lily" and "Mary Ann With the Shaky Hand".

 

[Arden]

ROSIE
Jackson Browne

She was standing at the load-in
When the trucks rolled up
She was sniffing all around
Like a half grown female pup
She wasn't hard to talk to
Looked like she had nowhere to go
So I gave her my pass
So she could get in and see the show

Well I sat her down right next to me
And I got her a beer
While I mixed that sound on stage
So the band could hear
The more I watched her watch them play
The less I could think of to say
And when they walked off stage
The drummer swept that girl away

But Rosie you're all right -- you wear my ring
When you hold me tight -- Rosie that's my thing
When you turn out the light -- I've got to hand it to me
Looks like it's me and you again tonight Rosie

Well I guess I might have known from the start
She'd come for a star
Might have told my imagination not to run too far
Of all the times that I've been burned
By now you'd think I'd have learned
That it's who you look like
Not who you are

But Rosie you're all right -- you wear my ring
When you hold me tight -- Rosie that's my thing
When you turn out the light -- I've got to hand it to me
Looks like it's me and you again tonight Rosie

 

[alwaysawake]

Relax...Frankie Goes to Hollywood and Miz Tabby is right...

My Ding-A-Ling--Chuck Berry

When I was a little biddy boy
My grandma bought me a cute little toy
Two Silver bells on a string
She told me it was my ding-a-ling-a-ling

My Ding-A-Ling My Ding-A-Ling won't you play with My Ding-A-Ling
My Ding-A-Ling My Ding-A-Ling won't you play with My Ding-A-Ling

When I was little boy In Grammar school
Always went by the very best rule
But Evertime the bell would ring
You'd catch me playing with my ding-a-ling

Once while climbing the garden wall,
Slipped and fell had a very bad fall
I fell so hard I heard birds sing,
But I held on to My ding-a-ling

Once while swimming cross turtle creek
Man them snappers right at my feet
Sure was hard swimming cross that thing
with both hands holding my dingaling

Now this here song it ain't so bad
Prettiest little song that you ever had
And those of you who will not sing
must be playing with your on Ding-a-ling...

 

[Guest]

 

[cookiejar]

Sorry Sterling...

These aren't songs but I had to post them...

Masturbate for Peace Bumper Stickers


Hairy palms, not cluster bombs

War's not kind, beat yourself blind

Cream your khakis, not Iraqis.

Peace is spiffy, stroke your stiffy

Don't send the fleet, just beat your meat

War is shit, rub your clit

Side with France, reach down your pants

Peace is the issue. Use a tissue.

War is Crappy, Slap Your Pappy

War's for squares, play downstairs

Stop war now, milk your cow

When you jerk tonight, keep peace in sight.

Down with war, stroke some more

War is cruel - flog your mule

Get peace fever, rub your beaver!

War is heinous, thumb your anus

You Can't Beat Off with Nuclear Arms

War is Mean, Flick Your Bean

War is wrong, whack your schlong.

I'm going blind for Mankind

War is silly, whack your willy

Think globally, whack locally

 

[cookiejar]

The 10 Days of Wanking

On the first day of wanking
My peaceful pledge will be
To masturbate for all humanity.

On the second day of wanking
My peaceful pledge will be
To jack off with my left hand
And to masturbate for all humanity.

On the third day of wanking
My peaceful pledge will be
To use both hands for pleasure,
Jack off with my left hand,
And to masturbate for all humanity.

On the fourth day of wanking
My peaceful pledge will be
To play with my sex toys,
Use both hands for pleasure,
Jack off with my left hand,
And to masturbate for all humanity.

On the fifth day of wanking
My peaceful pledge will be
To STAND UP FOR PEACE...
Play with my sex toys,
Use both hands for pleasure,
Jack off with my left hand,
And to masturbate for all humanity.

On the sixth day of wanking
My peaceful pledge will be
To jill off sitting down,
STAND UP FOR PEACE...
Play with my sex toys,
Use both hands for pleasure,
Jack off with my left hand,
And to masturbate for all humanity.


On the seventh day of wanking
My peaceful pledge will be
To postpone orgasm,
Jill off sitting down,
STAND UP FOR PEACE...
Play with my sex toys,
Use both hands for pleasure,
Jack off with my left hand,
And to masturbate for all humanity.


On the eighth day of wanking
My peaceful pledge will be
To cum very loudly,
Postpone orgasm,
Jill off sitting down,
STAND UP FOR PEACE...
Play with my sex toys,
Use both hands for pleasure,
Jack off with my left hand,
And to masturbate for all humanity.


On the ninth day of wanking
My peaceful pledge will be
To touch myself in nature,
Cum very loudly,
Postpone orgasm,
Jill off sitting down,
STAND UP FOR PEACE...
Play with my sex toys,
Use both hands for pleasure,
Jack off with my left hand,
And to masturbate for all humanity.

On the tenth day of wanking
My peaceful pledge will be
To whack off with a friend,
Touch myself in nature,
Cum very loudly,
Postpone orgasm,
Jill off sitting down,
STAND UP FOR PEACE...
Play with my sex toys,
Use both hands for pleasure,
Jack off with my left hand,
And to masturbate for all humanity

 

[cookiejar]

Jingle Balls

Jacking in the snow
For peace this holiday
Dick in hand you go
Shooting out a spray
Stroking by the gate
As Santa's sleigh takes flight
What fun it is to masturbate
For peace on Christmas night

Masturbate
Masturbate
Do it for the cause
We all want peace instead of war
And so does Santa Claus
Masturbate
Masturbate
Even in the cold
Shooting cum instead of guns
Is best for young and old

A stroke or two won't do
So pull it fast and strong
Letting out a moan
As you yank on your dong
Cry out nice and loud
When you beat for peace
Do it with a great big crowd
To make the fighting cease

Masturbate
Masturbate
Do it for the cause
We all want peace instead of war
And so does Santa Claus
Masturbate
Masturbate
Even in the cold
Shooting cum instead of guns
Is best for young and old...


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wankin' in a Winter Wonderland

Joyful moans, are you list'nin?
In your hand, cum is glist'nin
We'll keep peace in sight
as we beat tonight
Wankin' in a winter wonderland!

Gone away, bombs and conflicts
Here to stay, lube and hard dicks
You twiddle your clit
and war takes a hit
Wankin' in a winter wonderland!

In the meadow we can build a snowman
Then pretend that he's a general
He'll say, "Are you fighting?"
We'll say, "No, man!
We're cumming for the greatest cause of all!"

Later on we'll conspire
With our loins all a-fire
We're stamping out hate
as we masturbate
Wankin' in a winter wonderland!

When you cum, ain't it happy
Though your pubes get all chappy
We'll frolic and play
the onanist way
Wankin' in a winter wonderland!
Wankin' in a winter wonderland!

 

[Blue_Deuce04]

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