Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

[sangerin]

I'm not sex deprived.

 

[Cat]

I have not gotten a single mosquito bite this season.

 

[Sallyhansen6914]

I’m a 50 year old cougar. Hub calls me his sugar mama. I run 7 miles a day at least. Love to drive around in this beautiful weather in my vett with the top down. I’m on my 6th marriage. 3rd husband. We are on the third go around. Third strike he’s out though. I have a kinky fantasy about doing it with a cable man but I think the companies are starting to realize something is going on with me having to have them send someone out when my equipment breaks (oops ) or how I change providers every couple months until i find the right stud/willing one. Although they do say I am the best at handling their remote controls in my free time I am shopping or writing stories.

I retired early

 

[HollyS]

I'm thinking of running for president.

 

[SherlockianMan]

Perfect mental health runs in my family.

 

[shrek100]

It’s 12” when soft.

 

[Deleted member 6808749]

I'm totally not having a wobble today.

 

[drobert44]

It’s 12” when soft.

I will get 9" of it hard.

 

[HollyS]

I know exactly what a "wobble" is.

 

[hairball18]

I have too much to do today.

 

[HollyS]

I have NOTHING to do today.

 

[drobert44]

I have NOTHING to do today.

How about cyber sex?

 

[orangecurious]

i think the poster above is fabulous

 

[Cwtchseeker]

I have a million Cwtches stored in a vault but collect others so I don’t have to use them

 

[Taegul]

Every time I order a sandwich from Subway, I pull my dick out to measure if that sandwich really is a foot long.

I've been arrested 872 times and am a registered sex offender in 49 states.

I'll make my way to Alaska eventually.

 

[staylate]

After winning the Indy 500 for the 78th time in 3 years, I've finally decided to retire as the world's most drivingiest driver.

 

[fakingadulthood]

I am the guy who told the smash mouth dude that “the world is gonna roll you”

 

[HollyS]

The A/C went out on my Porsche, so I had to drive the Lamborghini today.

 

[Coyote100]

I know I have a terrible rash down there, but ìt is nothing to worry about.

 

[Norfolkguy49]

I can fly a plane

 

[Sallyhansen6914]

I love bacon, sissys and find it a turn on to chase a man

 

[crazychemgirl]

I’m an intelligent hobgoblin

 

[Otis_Ravelli]

I have the body of a Greek Adonis

 

[positiveflirt]

I once caused a global M&M shortage by simply opening my mouth really wide and taking a deep breath in.

 

[ImpishSeraph]

I have three breasts. I was told I could have surgery to remove the middle one but I like to play with them.