Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

[barefootgirl69]

I always stop traffic when I walk down the street.
It's usually because I've tripped or fallen off a curb, but macht nichts!

 

[fakingadulthood]

I am 100% capable of seeing a dog stretch without saying “awww… big stretch” out loud

 

[Shymidwestgirl]

I will go to bed at a reasonable hour tonight.

 

[MindYaBitness]

I will go to bed at a reasonable hour tonight.

https://i.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExcnowenFjODNrZHI4MjJiY2ZmeXRpbTNqYmZhbG10OWFuNmpmYTc1aCZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/XdDBcVRzNKbsxy4sQe/giphy.gif

 

[SherlockianMan]

Alcohol has the opposite effect on me. I drink and end up in a three piece suit.

 

[ALovelyNudist]

I am very reserved and shy

 

[Mrtenant]

I am the one and only Dr. Love! (Song was named after me)

Who you gonna call?!

 

[subdudeme13]

I drive women crazy with multiple orgasms.
(Wait, is it supposed to be a lie?)

 

[Dom70]

I always stop traffic when I walk down the street.
It's usually because I've tripped or fallen off a curb, but macht nichts!

That is TRUE! NOT a blatant lie !!!

 

[Dom70]

I am larger than John Holmes was.

 

[Nicefella]

I am very empathetic towards rich people who feel misunderstood

 

[MisterChillax]

I'm retired because I once wrote a song you hear every Christmas a gazillion times. The royalty checks
finance my lifestyle.

 

[Cwtchseeker]

I now own the rights to every cuddle in Wales

 

[fakingadulthood]

I’m going to go to bed at a reasonable hour

 

[ALovelyNudist]

I’m going to go to bed at a reasonable hour

Me too!

 

[RandallOldman]

I was sitting and crying about Nebs when the aliens showed up. Instead of abducting me and doing the whole anal-probe thing, they gave me a beer and left me alone.

Proof that aliens have superior intelligence.

 

[Coyote100]

I can answer any question faster than A.I.

 

[Norfolkguy49]

I'm a good boy

 

[Lily13]

I really can't stand it when you get physical with me and I just wish you'd keep your hands to yourself!

Bonus lie....I don't miss the caning emoji at all.

https://i.ibb.co/mJZpkW4/BB3-FD999-6-B44-4-C6-D-8-DB8-90-F4-DF69-EFA4.jpg

Another tip from you^^^

Instead of money, I love getting tips about food savings

 

[Sallyhansen6914]

I am sane

 

[UnquietDreams]

I played bass for The Screaming Trees. (I have used this. I don't play bass.)

 

[Taegul]

https://i.ibb.co/mJZpkW4/BB3-FD999-6-B44-4-C6-D-8-DB8-90-F4-DF69-EFA4.jpg

Another tip from you^^^

Instead of money, I love getting tips about food savings

"Hot Tip" is the name of my next porn film, expected to be one of the biggest hits in my illustrious adult film career.

 

[SherlockianMan]

I suffer from Anatidaephobia

 

[Desiree_Radcliffe]

I have a fantastic collection of Victorian medical instruments, and I strut around town wearing only a burial shroud.

 

[SimonSex]

IF YOU HAVE BEEN INJURED IN AN ACCIDENT
CALL: (555) 555-5555
(I can’t afford a billboard, hence the all caps)