Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

[crazychemgirl]

I’m an intelligent hobgoblin

 

[Otis_Ravelli]

I have the body of a Greek Adonis

 

[positiveflirt]

I once caused a global M&M shortage by simply opening my mouth really wide and taking a deep breath in.

 

[ImpishSeraph]

I have three breasts. I was told I could have surgery to remove the middle one but I like to play with them.

 

[barefootgirl69]

I always stop traffic when I walk down the street.
It's usually because I've tripped or fallen off a curb, but macht nichts!

 

[fakingadulthood]

I am 100% capable of seeing a dog stretch without saying “awww… big stretch” out loud

 

[Shymidwestgirl]

I will go to bed at a reasonable hour tonight.

 

[MindYaBitness]

I will go to bed at a reasonable hour tonight.

 

[SherlockianMan]

Alcohol has the opposite effect on me. I drink and end up in a three piece suit.

 

[ALovelyNudist]

I am very reserved and shy

 

[Mrtenant]

I am the one and only Dr. Love! (Song was named after me)

Who you gonna call?!

 

[subdudeme13]

I drive women crazy with multiple orgasms.
(Wait, is it supposed to be a lie?)

 

[Dom70]

I always stop traffic when I walk down the street.
It's usually because I've tripped or fallen off a curb, but macht nichts!

That is TRUE! NOT a blatant lie !!!

 

[Dom70]

I am larger than John Holmes was.

 

[Nicefella]

I am very empathetic towards rich people who feel misunderstood

 

[MisterChillax]

I'm retired because I once wrote a song you hear every Christmas a gazillion times. The royalty checks
finance my lifestyle.

 

[Cwtchseeker]

I now own the rights to every cuddle in Wales

 

[fakingadulthood]

I’m going to go to bed at a reasonable hour

 

[ALovelyNudist]

I’m going to go to bed at a reasonable hour

Me too!

 

[RandallOldman]

I was sitting and crying about Nebs when the aliens showed up. Instead of abducting me and doing the whole anal-probe thing, they gave me a beer and left me alone.

Proof that aliens have superior intelligence.

 

[Coyote100]

I can answer any question faster than A.I.

 

[Norfolkguy49]

I'm a good boy

 

[Lily13]

I really can't stand it when you get physical with me and I just wish you'd keep your hands to yourself!

Bonus lie....I don't miss the caning emoji at all.

Another tip from you^^^

Instead of money, I love getting tips about food savings

 

[Sallyhansen6914]

I am sane

 

[UnquietDreams]

I played bass for The Screaming Trees. (I have used this. I don't play bass.)