Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

[BernadetteRochelle]

I really want to be your daughter, boss, nurse, sister-in-law, etc.

 

[Biggalute]

I really want to be your mommy.

I really want to be your daughter, boss, nurse, sister-in-law, etc.

I misunderstood the role of women on Lit.

 

[BernadetteRochelle]

A lot of people have.

 

[Cwtchseeker]

I am the opposite of an exorcist, I visit a Lit thread and the ghosts take over

 

[Taegul]

I'm getting tired of all the toxic people in the PG and am gonna start hanging out in the Politics forum exclusively from now on.

See ya guys!

 

[ImpishSeraph]

I have absolutely no patience

 

[Biggalute]

I thought I was a great lover till I realised my gf had asthma and that's why she was breathing so heavy

 

[ImpishSeraph]

Wheezing......

 

[Taegul]

I always wear a cucumber in my underwear for all the random women that just walk up and grab me. It must be like a handshake in some cultures...

 

[hairball18]

I am extremely handsome.

 

[SWR101]

I am incredibly outgoing and not shy and introverted

 

[Desiree_Radcliffe]

I spend my spare time going on wonderful European vacations in my PJ.

 

[Sallyhansen6914]

I’m sad that I’m getting divorced

 

[JustAnotherFlower]

I'm a ray of sunshine before coffee.

 

[SWR101]

I’m never aroused

 

[Taegul]

I am definitely not on a late lunch break right now. If I were, I could honestly tell you this is the most delicious gas station sushi ever.

 

[vagrantx]

everything I write I first wrote through google translate since I not actually speak English.

 

[Kittycity]

I always wear a cucumber in my underwear for all the random women that just walk up and grab me. It must be like a handshake in some cultures...

In my culture we like to recycle so pass the baton and I'll make good use of it

 

[Kittycity]

I'm most definitely not a demotivated, tearful, pain in the arse, moody mess on 7.59 hours or less

 

[Qky75]

I am a ridiculously wealthy well hung gift to women with abs that can crack walnuts.

 

[Qky75]

I adore getting lumped in with every other fuckstick with a penis!

 

[Taegul]

In my culture we like to recycle so pass the baton and I'll make good use of it

Well, in my culture we like to know what people do with their recyclables with photo/video evidence and lots of graphic detail.

Regardless, I wrapped it up and stuck a bunch of stamps on it. I can just imagine the postal workers handling that thing and wondering...

Pro tip for the ladies - A cucumber in the panties might also be a great defense against former American presidents that like to grab women by the pussy. I'm just imagining the look on his face. "That thing is YUGE!"

 

[NaughtyPartyGirl]

I've never masturbated. I heard it makes you go blind.

 

[Azuldrgon]

I am currently naked getting blown by my neighbor.

 

[Lily13]

"Hot Tip" is the name of my next porn film, expected to be one of the biggest hits in my illustrious adult film career.

And the shortest...

I glue real daisies to my boobs so I can walk among nature.