Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

[NaughtyPartyGirl]

I've never masturbated. I heard it makes you go blind.

 

[Azuldrgon]

I am currently naked getting blown by my neighbor.

 

[Lily13]

"Hot Tip" is the name of my next porn film, expected to be one of the biggest hits in my illustrious adult film career.

And the shortest...

I glue real daisies to my boobs so I can walk among nature.

 

[jeff_is_smiling]

I feel a real sense of belonging when posting in lit...

 

[EbersMoll]

I regularly eat staples, adhesive, duct tape, etc, in afford to keep body and soul together.

 

[MedicalMuse]

I really dislike giving blow jobs.

 

[Trubbycat]

I was on the short list for Kamala's VP pick.

 

[Xerxes82]

I'm the best you've ever had.

 

[Taegul]

And the shortest...

I glue real daisies to my boobs so I can walk among nature.

What a coincidence. My doctor just told me that daisies are a great source of vitamin D and I should make them a larger part of my diet, as long as I don't fry them.

 

[subdudeme13]

I've never masturbated. I heard it makes you go blind.

Ok! Just till you need glasses.

 

[Lily13]

What a coincidence. My doctor just told me that daisies are a great source of vitamin D and I should make them a larger part of my diet, as long as I don't fry them.

Haha, not too much roughage?

I play tennis in the nude. It’s ok because I have a backboard in my yard.

 

[Taegul]

Haha, not too much roughage?

I play tennis in the nude. It’s ok because I have a backboard in my yard.

You tell me. How many daisies you wearing on your "nature strolls"?

I dated Smurfette for 3 years. She always said, "size doesn't matter", but I knew she was lying. I actually knew all along I was never going to be big enough to truly satisfy her.

 

[Taegul]

I never...and i mean never...post twice in a row. Never have and I never will.

 

[jeff_is_smiling]

I'm usually the "stunt cock" for most porn shoots...

 

[j23in03]

I’ve got more DMs than I know what to do with.

 

[Lily13]

You tell me. How many daisies you wearing on your "nature strolls"?

I dated Smurfette for 3 years. She always said, "size doesn't matter", but I knew she was lying. I actually knew all along I was never going to be big enough to truly satisfy her.

Just the 3, 2 for the boobs and one for the bottom

I do underwater ballet in my tutu

 

[Jordan90]

I ghostwrote all of Taylor Swift's songs on her new album.

 

[Taegul]

I'm still living off the prize money from winning the Kentucky Derby four years in a row back in the 90's. I can't run like that anymore, but at least I haven't been sold to a glue factory.

Yet.

 

[JustAnotherFlower]

I'm a dainty delight.

 

[LustfulIntentions2]

I have a big ego.

 

[masterslave00]

I have never been unfaithful...

 

[HollyS]

I have been unfaithful. (Other than here!)

 

[LustfulIntentions2]

I don't like leaving flirty and/or dirty voice messages, at all.

 

[HollyS]

I *hate* having titillating chats.

 

[LustfulIntentions2]

I don't even know all the dirty words.