Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

[Taegul]

I was picked to be Trump's new Press Secretary but had to decline the offer because I don't think my legs look good enough for a secretary role. And I burn coffee. And I'm too dumb and sexist to know what a Press Secretary does. And I start way too many sentences with the word "and".

 

[Trubbycat]

I'm going to turn off my PMs because I can't get anything done and my wife is getting suspicious.

 

[Deleted member 6353684]

I'm gonna stop watching porn, hanging out here and Snapchat. No more flirting online for me.

 

[bashfull]

I have no libido

 

[Taegul]

I definitely don't have any obviously fake alts with ginormous boobs posting on Lit.

I've also taken eight different Lit ladies out on movie dates lately to see the Joker sequel. Not because I actually had any interest in those ladies, I just really, really love musicals that much.

 

[Deleted member 6353684]

I definitely don't have any obviously fake alts with ginormous boobs posting on Lit.

I've also taken eight different Lit ladies out on movie dates lately to see the Joker sequel. Not because I actually had any interest in those ladies, I just really, really love musicals that much.

The Joker sequel is a musical????

 

[Sallyhansen6914]

I don’t wanna be a brat and say no bitch come get me and give me a attention now..

Nope not at all

 

[SimonSex]

Big on-line gambler here. I’ve got the over & under, the spread, and enough money to risk putting my family in dire straits.

 

[BusDee276]

I'm not going to masturbate at some point today!

 

[Mature4P]

I'm not going to masturbate at some point today!

Maybe we should both not masturbate together

 

[BDA73]

Not a fan of breasts

 

[Trubbycat]

I dictate all my posts to my secretary.

 

[Taegul]

I always put condoms over all my fingers before posting on Lit because I don't trust any of you.

 

[Deleted member 6592667]

Don't have any tattoos. Also not into oral at all.

 

[Taegul]

I'm not actually a doctor, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

We rocket scientists do a lot of travel for our careers.

 

[jays78]

I rarely touch my cock.

 

[HollyS]

I rarely touch *anyone's* cock.

 

[UnquietDreams]

I love a good kale salad.

 

[Deleted member 6353684]

I really don't fancy the neighbors wife .

 

[HollyS]

I despise ice cream.

 

[summer_reine]

I'm intelligent

 

[UsuallyPresent]

I'm intelligent

I’m intelligenter. I can prove it - I’m a real fart smeller! Er, smart feller!

 

[Taegul]

I was born in Russia and came to the U.S. when I was eight. I learned how to speak English from watching Scooby Doo and Fraggle Rock.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

The Eld dapples the sky where once I was born, giants still-standing against the staring sneers of the Sun Goddess. In their shade and caring presence, I once was born.

 

[AlwaysDancing]

((Deep cut nerd joke))

Otto cast a spell on me. And it’s permanent. Explains so much.