Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

[summer_reine]

I'm intelligent

 

[UsuallyPresent]

I'm intelligent

I’m intelligenter. I can prove it - I’m a real fart smeller! Er, smart feller!

 

[Taegul]

I was born in Russia and came to the U.S. when I was eight. I learned how to speak English from watching Scooby Doo and Fraggle Rock.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

The Eld dapples the sky where once I was born, giants still-standing against the staring sneers of the Sun Goddess. In their shade and caring presence, I once was born.

 

[AlwaysDancing]

((Deep cut nerd joke))

Otto cast a spell on me. And it’s permanent. Explains so much.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

<—- clearly not a nerd

 

[HollyS]

I was born with a third tit, but the surgeon did such a good job removing it you can't even tell.

Sometimes I wish I still had it.

 

[MidwestPrincess23]

I absolutely love change!

 

[chapter6plan]

I absolutely love kale!

 

[UsuallyPresent]

I absolutely love change!

*pours (freshly washed) pennies over the princess*

I have no sense of humor.

 

[HollyS]

*pours (freshly washed) pennies over the princess*

I have no sense of humor.

Boooo hiss!!

I hate jokes! Especially punny ones.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

Boooo hiss!!

I hate jokes! Especially punny ones.

Ghostly snake noises for no apparent reasons are aphrodisiacal!

 

[Taegul]

Every time I leave a Walmart and the employee at the door wants to check my receipt, I reach into my pocket and "accidentally" pull out a picture of my dick dressed in a small tuxedo.

Well, "small" might be the wrong word. It's fucking huge.

 

[HollyS]

I was working at the photo department when Taegul came in to get an enlargement.

 

[Thebrowneye]

I was working near the photo department and saw @HollyS running off duplicates of Taeguis enlargements for her personal collection.

 

[AlwaysDancing]

I was working at the photo department when Taegul came in to get an enlargement.

The photo department will make your dick bigger?!

How much for that service? Asking for a friend …

 

[Thebrowneye]

One million dollars!

 

[HollyS]

I would NEVER enlarge a dick for a million dollars.

 

[Thebrowneye]

I would NEVER blackmail @HollyS for misuse of company property!

(Maybe that should be just 'I would', that's pretty dark.)

 

[HollyS]

I would NEVER blackmail @HollyS for misuse of company property!

(Maybe that should be just 'I would', that's pretty dark.)

I had no idea you guys were talking about the kind of "enlargement" that requires company property!

 

[TunnelKing089]

Taylor stilll contacts me 2-3 times a year,little busy.Loki huh.... ok

 

[Taegul]

I am currently dating all the ladies of The View individually. Intelligence is sexy, and those ladies are sexy as Hell.

#DragonBeliever

 

[Masters_slutpussy]

I do not have a shopping problem- specifically for buying jackets, sex toys and lingerie.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

I completely devour each and every optional ending of every game I've ever purchased and every story I've run across. Albums and other music-sources never get full plays, however.

 

[carolheadcase]

Im great at finishing things!!