Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

I play x-rated porn games on my computer 20 hours a day just on the off chance I get sucked into my computer like that guy in TRON.
 
Cute and cozy vibes are so not my thing. Never bring me a cup of coffee and a fuzzy blanket. I'll throw them both right back in your face! And don't even get me started on bubbles, balloons or coloring books...
 
I've won more than two dozen AVN awards during my illustrious career.
 
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