Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

[Sexydrana]

The aliens actually listened to my, “take me with you or take me out”, that one time I shouted at the sky because they came to get me. They brought me back because I kept trying to read them their natal charts, they got annoyed…

 

[latecomer91364]

Voted 'smartest dude in MENSA' 5 years in a row.

 

[Ratchetman1982]

Joined the CIA , thinking it was Cheese Ingesters Anonymous

 

[Xerxes82]

Today was totally awesome and relaxing

 

[EctoJohn]

I'm actually William Shakespeare, I am merely a time traveler who has been living in this century for the past decade.

 

[Sexydrana]

I found the potion of immortality, so I’m gonna live forever. But I did destroy the book that contained its ingredients—and all other important knowledge—so the rest of you are screwed.

 

[barefootgirl69]

I haul gravel to building sites and my cb handle is "Pixie Dust."

 

[EctoJohn]

I live next door to a woman who likes to shower in clear view of her window.

 

[Sexydrana]

I got raptured today, but then the goddess said “Girl, we both know I sent you there to be a demon.” So now I’m back…

 

[EctoJohn]

I left the scene of a crime. Luckily it wasn't my crime.

 

[ALovelyNudist]

I work a stunt double for a porn actress whilst running a political party

 

[Cm_gogo]

I got raptured today, but then the goddess said “Girl, we both know I sent you there to be a demon.” So now I’m back…

@Sexydrana - I paid money to the godess to tell you that, as I wanted to bring out the inner naughty you

 

[EMPTYSTAR]

I have been banned from Monopoly for “suspicious financial practices”~

 

[F3x0r]

I feel like my patience is eternal this afternoon

 

[SimplyMsT]

I'm a sex goddess

 

[Taegul]

I was a door to door unicorn salesman for 25 years until I got arrested for unicorn trafficking. It ain't cheap or easy trying to move those guys.

 

[SusanHoward]

I have never accidentally left undergarments at a guy’s apartment.

 

[jason28053]

I only masturbate on weekends

 

[pinkparkhorse]

I’m a nun.

 

[Cindy027]

I won the Nobel prize for literature by plagiarising the works of Trump.

 

[EctoJohn]

I have 17 cats.

 

[Sexydrana]

I don’t masturbate, I’m only here for this thread

 

[pinkparkhorse]

I can totally open jars myself.

 

[MarcUK]

Wildly wealthy, extravagantly well dressed, virtually indestructible.

 

[Sexydrana]

I’m the most creative person in the universe