Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

[Deadbed1968]

My mind is always in a state of laser focus! I always stay right on task.

 

[EctoJohn]

I was a seat filler at the Oscars once.

 

[awired50]

Jennifer wants me.

 

[Jeanie99]

She is an awful cook

 

[awired50]

I don't like Nymphomaniacs

 

[awired50]

I will not feel sexual today.

 

[LeSabreur]

I don't like cuddling

 

[EctoJohn]

I am a master of nunchaku.

 

[awired50]

I have not cum in years.

 

[LeSabreur]

I don't like going "down there."

 

[EctoJohn]

I always travel at 88 mph.

 

[awired50]

I'm not full.

 

[EctoJohn]

I am a closeted puppeteer.

 

[Asilverfox23]

I can only orgasm once a day…

 

[SusanHoward]

I like to unzip him when we’re French kissing…

 

[Deadbed1968]

I’m never horny…

 

[Blackbird93]

No ounce of me is turned on by Salma Hayek's table dance scene in "From Dusk Til Dawn".

 

[EctoJohn]

I perform a CD burlesque act under the alias "Tiffany Feathers".

 

[Breaking_Dawn_Fantasy]

I am Salma Hayek's body double.

 

[LeSabreur]

My real name is Congolia Breckenridge

 

[NudieUser]

I keep a log book of all the times I have masturbated in my life and it’s 600 pages long

 

[jason28053]

I keep a log book of all the times I have masturbated in my life and it’s 600 pages long

The real number is 1200 pages?

 

[Asilverfox23]

I keep a log book of all the times I have masturbated in my life and it’s 600 pages long

That’s a lot of masturbation!

 

[Cwtchseeker]

I can predict the lottery numbers but have to keep it quiet, so don’t get caught cashing in too much

 

[Breaking_Dawn_Fantasy]

Jennifer Aniston and I are nipple twins.