Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

[ArtisticControl]

I have small hands.

 

[AZDryHeat]

I don't have a jealous bone in my body.

 

[Taegul]

George Lucas got the idea of lightsabers for Star Wars after walking in on me in a locker room and seeing my penis. Doctors to this day have no idea why it glows. Or why it's three feet long and cuts through anything it touches.

 

[Taegul]

I will be running for president in 2024 on the Republican ticket. I've already started dyeing my skin orange so I'm ready to campaign when the race starts.

 

[AZDryHeat]

I never get angry.

 

[YourgirlfriendLaura]

Hahahahhaha! Thanks for the laugh!

George Lucas got the idea of lightsabers for Star Wars after walking in on me in a locker room and seeing my penis. Doctors to this day have no idea why it glows. Or why it's three feet long and cuts through anything it touches.

 

[Azuldrgon]

I have never had a broken heart because I am a complete asshole.

 

[jeff_is_smiling]

I've been told I look EXACTLY like a younger Antonio Banderas...an almost uncanny resemblance...

From behind....

Below the waist...

Except my ass is white and fat...

 

[Cymru9696]

That Feb. 1981 GQ cover? Admittedly precocious. In retrospect they took advantage of me.

 

[Taegul]

I go into a Seven-Eleven every day at 7:11 AM and again at 7:11 PM to get a cherry Slurpee. It's probably the primary reason my teeth are permanently stained red.

 

[AlexBailey]

I'm a timid and boring lover.

 

[Cat]

I really dislike every form of kink, and I am completely asexual

 

[Leigh81]

I'm extremely excited & can't wait for my mammogram tomorrow

 

[J-Rod]

I love working and don't want to have a 4 day weekend

 

[Sundayschild]

I always get at least 8 hours sleep a night..

 

[Jake069258]

My coworkers know exactly how much time I spend here during a normal workday.

 

[FranklyFrank]

My sex drive is dormant

 

[Esslemont]

I think 9000 posts in four months means that you are a pretty normal human being.



Now....add that to all of the multiple personality posts in five months, and I believe that you are exceptionally normal.

 

[Leigh81]

I'm beyond pissed that my husband wants to go out for a nice dinner this evening

 

[HotChef1970]

I’m 6 feet 6 tall, have a 6 pack and rippling biceps

 

[mynameisben]

I am Elmer J. Fudd, millionaire. I own a mansion and a yacht.


Ben

 

[jarigi]

I beat Tiger Woods at tennis and Roger Federer at golf.

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

My username is my real name and yes I have been knighted

 

[niceshot]

Having to drink caffeine (as a migrain preventative) makes it sooo much more enjoyable.

 

[Xerxes82]

If I have any more sex, I think my dick will fall off for overuse.