Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

[JKL123]

I'm hung like a porn star

 

[VoraciousValue]

I don't have enough books.

 

[Anastasia1999]

I'm in @Anastasia1999 's harem

It said Lies @Saltfountain

I survived an attempted assassination but no one ever really believed me

 

[lanceGibs]

It said Lies @Saltfountain

I survived an attempted assassination but no one ever really believed me

I was the assassin only I shot the Laden Arrow

 

[VoraciousValue]

It said Lies @Saltfountain

I survived an attempted assassination but no one ever really believed me

Why did they try to assassinate you? Did you piss off the Black Hand again??

 

[Anastasia1999]

Why did they try to assassinate you? Did you piss off the Black Hand again??

Rasputin? He took care of us. They were interested in killing my father, the Czar. My mother, my brother Alexei, sisters Maria and Olga and I were innocent victims.

 

[lanceGibs]

Why did they try to assassinate you? Did you piss off the Black Hand again??

I taught the guy above me the meaning of the term "Above".

 

[VoraciousValue]

Rasputin? He took care of us. They were interested in killing my father, the Czar. My mother, my brother Alexei, sisters Maria and Olga and I were innocent victims.

I wasn't sure if we were going with the historical story of Anastasia. My bad! I was thinking more of Gavrilo Princip.

Someone really needs to wrap up Rasputin and throw him in the river. And make sure he's dead this time!

 

[Anastasia1999]

I understand why Putin launched an attack on the Ukraine

*checking I am in the right thread

 

[lanceGibs]

I understand why Putin launched an attack on the Ukraine

*checking I am in the right thread

I told you to advise him not to attack.

 

[RandallOldman]

I know little about Russians or Ukrainians or Rasputins, but I do have a huge yacht anchored off the coast of Italy.

 

[Trubbycat]

I wrote Chris Rock's Oscar joke.

 

[Jake069258]

I wrote Chris Rock's Oscar joke.

I (not Jada) told Will to slap Chris

 

[Taegul]

I can tie my penis into a bow tie.

 

[VoraciousValue]

I consult with one of the Mexican drug cartels about military strategy.

 

[AZDryHeat]

I am the world's best Trivia player.

 

[Saltfountain]

I am Vladimir Putin's top military strategist

 

[Taegul]

I am a Russian Oligarch and I'm pissed that 3 of my 5 super yachts have been seized!

 

[pandaburr]

I’m Slim Shady

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I am both Salt and Pepa.

 

[Taegul]

In my entire time at Literotica, I have never mispelled a single word.

 

[VoraciousValue]

I was once the military dictator of a Latin American country. Got to steal a few billion, got to torture some people, had some scientists playing with chemical weapons. Fun was had by all.

 

[Taegul]

I was once the military dictator of a Latin American country. Got to steal a few billion, got to torture some people, had some scientists playing with chemical weapons. Fun was had by all.

Dad? Wow, this is awkward.

 

[ydahecnot]

I had the formula for New-ish Coke, but they picked New Coke instead

 

[pandaburr]

I like to smoke crack every now and again. Keeps me youthful.