Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

[Mrtenant]

I am a saint. Help all the grammas at the church bake sale. Sing hymns while driving.

 

[Taegul]

I am so overdressed right now.

 

[Cat]

I teach in Sunday school

 

[The_Ghost_Man]

I’m a nice guy

 

[lanceGibs]

I’m a nice guy

I am one better

 

[_Ritch_]

I have tons of energy and can't wait to jump up and tackle all the jobs today.

 

[Trubbycat]

They were never able to prove I did it.

 

[Taegul]

I learned the accordion just so I could join a band and get some groupie loving.

 

[Strixaluco]

I am in perfect physical health.

 

[PageWriter2]

I have a clean shaven face.

 

[RandallOldman]

My Maserati does 185.

 

[Trubbycat]

I never worked for Vladimir Putin.

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

I wasn't the second gunman on The Grassy Knoll.

 

[RipleNStllWtr]

I have the greatest sex every night with my wife.

 

[crazychemgirl]

I am so genuinely satisfied with life

 

[Taegul]

I go to Confession twice a week to ease the guilt on my sinful soul.

Now, who wants to buy this bridge I'm selling?

 

[Taegul]

I never, and I mean never, post back to back. This is my sworn oath to all of you. I will never in this lifetime, or any other lifetime, ever post twice in a row.

 

[smtst5]

I don’t like tequila or masturbation.

 

[JPReads]

I am not stupidly horny right now.

 

[BrendaBear]

My life is perfect

 

[JerseyJade]

I'm mad at my man for getting me out of bed and making me suck his dick.

 

[VoraciousValue]

Bareback is never fun for me. Nope, I hate it when all my seed spurts out inside a woman.

 

[Hodes101]

I use my willy as a scarf in winter.

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

I’m so skinny, you barely miss anything when I walk past anyone while they’re watching TV.

 

[Trubbycat]

I rob Salvation Army Santas.