Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

There are exactly 14 dildos sold in retail stores or online, cast from a mold of my hard cock. All but one are hot sellers. The last one gets stolen because of the autograph. Chances are, if you have purchased one in the last 10 years, you have used one of the 14. The one that has a light show and vibrates to music is probably the most exciting.
 
I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
 
Being named Pornhub's Model Of The Month for this past June was one of the greatest honors of my life.

My mom was so proud of me!
 
I can reach that top shelf all by myself!
I don't look at your legs as you reach for the top shelf. PS 6ft 4 I am often asked to get things off the top shelf in supermarkets. This has led to vigorous sex not in the store with one and a long term affair with another married lady.
 
I just got returned to Earth after being abducted by aliens and getting anal probed for a month and half solid. They were looking for brains, but finally gave up and tossed me back, like a fish that was too small.
 
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