Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

[Lastingimpressions]

I totally believe you.

 

[Mrtenant]

There are exactly 14 dildos sold in retail stores or online, cast from a mold of my hard cock. All but one are hot sellers. The last one gets stolen because of the autograph. Chances are, if you have purchased one in the last 10 years, you have used one of the 14. The one that has a light show and vibrates to music is probably the most exciting.

 

[PrissOff]

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed

 

[Hodes101]

I've got a PHd in love making

 

[Taegul]

Being named Pornhub's Model Of The Month for this past June was one of the greatest honors of my life.

My mom was so proud of me!

 

[Lily13]

I model lingerie for Victoria’s Secret

 

[Taegul]

I model lingerie for Victoria’s Secret

I learned Victoria's secret years ago but haven't shared it with anyone yet. Just waiting for that awesome book deal first.

 

[VoraciousValue]

I am currently 11th in the line of succession to the thrones of Britain, Norway, Sweden, Holland, Spain, Japan, the papacy, and the Grand Poobah of Canada.

 

[Taegul]

I hate animals, especially dogs. OMG I hate them so much!

 

[English_guy_bkk]

I'm a better lover after drinking 17 cans of beer.

 

[RDM97756]

I am the coolest cat in the neighborhood

 

[Cyber_Bella]

Sex cyborg from the future.

https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/1dda34b6-a138-4b3d-b536-00deb9b96f79/denvsje-75d27e52-75e8-4789-b1d6-57c2db646d57.jpg/v1/fill/w_1024,h_1610,q_75,strp/cyber_marie_by_redrobot3d_denvsje-fullview.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7ImhlaWdodCI6Ijw9MTYxMCIsInBhdGgiOiJcL2ZcLzFkZGEzNGI2LWExMzgtNGIzZC1iNTM2LTAwZGViOWI5NmY3OVwvZGVudnNqZS03NWQyN2U1Mi03NWU4LTQ3ODktYjFkNi01N2MyZGI2NDZkNTcuanBnIiwid2lkdGgiOiI8PTEwMjQifV1dLCJhdWQiOlsidXJuOnNlcnZpY2U6aW1hZ2Uub3BlcmF0aW9ucyJdfQ.040XVeTQ-lTteIQ5qh7CrydAjEAWfuNNjj2HKzTrfEQ

 

[longboy2022]

I can reach that top shelf all by myself!

I don't look at your legs as you reach for the top shelf. PS 6ft 4 I am often asked to get things off the top shelf in supermarkets. This has led to vigorous sex not in the store with one and a long term affair with another married lady.

 

[longboy2022]

Every woman I have ever made love to orgasmed copiously.

 

[Taegul]

I taught Tom Cruise how to fly jet fighters for the Top Gun movies.

The fucker stole my Ray Ban Aviators.

 

[Trubbycat]

I model for post office Most Wanted pictures when I'm broke.

 

[MaraschinoCherry]

I love Star Wars.

 

[BrendaBear]

I totally understand why guys like to take pictures of their dick.

 

[luckylegsat60]

My legs are insured through Lloyds of London for $10,000,000.

 

[BDA73]

Sex cyborg from the future.

https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/1dda34b6-a138-4b3d-b536-00deb9b96f79/denvsje-75d27e52-75e8-4789-b1d6-57c2db646d57.jpg/v1/fill/w_1024,h_1610,q_75,strp/cyber_marie_by_redrobot3d_denvsje-fullview.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7ImhlaWdodCI6Ijw9MTYxMCIsInBhdGgiOiJcL2ZcLzFkZGEzNGI2LWExMzgtNGIzZC1iNTM2LTAwZGViOWI5NmY3OVwvZGVudnNqZS03NWQyN2U1Mi03NWU4LTQ3ODktYjFkNi01N2MyZGI2NDZkNTcuanBnIiwid2lkdGgiOiI8PTEwMjQifV1dLCJhdWQiOlsidXJuOnNlcnZpY2U6aW1hZ2Uub3BlcmF0aW9ucyJdfQ.040XVeTQ-lTteIQ5qh7CrydAjEAWfuNNjj2HKzTrfEQ

I'd buy that for a dollar..

 

[BDA73]

Me and my 10 inch pecker turn away women left and right

 

[RandallOldman]

I just got returned to Earth after being abducted by aliens and getting anal probed for a month and half solid. They were looking for brains, but finally gave up and tossed me back, like a fish that was too small.

 

[VoraciousValue]

My dick is so small that I literally have to use tweezers when I go to the bathroom.

 

[ydahecnot]

I have a black belt in shuffleboard

 

[Krigirl1233]

I’m sexually satisfied every day