Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

[SirConradPeckereye]

I am NEVER funny and am widely hated on here.

I hacked into @mynameisben's computer and have access to all his President's photos.

 

[Crownvic]

I don't regularly use fucking profanity, god dammit.

It’s a good thing to restrain yourself..

 

[Krigirl1233]

I adore snakes

 

[BrendaBear]

It’s a good thing to restrain yourself..

Did somebody mention restraining… restraints…

 

[sixfoot4]

I have to tuck the end of my penis into my sock.....that's the one on the right foot
If I walk quickly, it often comes out, and I once stepped on it.

 

[sixfoot4]

And on odd days of the month, I wear it over my left shoulder.

 

[BrendaBear]

Did somebody mention restraining… restraints…

I actually hate any kind of restraints. Completely. They are nasty things.

 

[Crownvic]

Did somebody mention restraining… restraints…

What kind would you like?

 

[BrendaBear]

What kind would you like?

I like lots of kinds. Leather is at the top of my list though.

editing… I mean… I hate ‘em! All of ’em! Especially leather!!! Oh how I hate that!

 

[Hodes101]

I have two left feet

 

[Trubbycat]

People want me to run for office.

 

[BrendaBear]

I don’t find a lady in New Jersey fascinating and delightful

 

[saustin5432]

Looking forward to all the work I'll be doing this week.

 

[BrendaBear]

I hate going to the coast

 

[Trubbycat]

I've done body double work for Paul Giamatti and Jason Momoa.

 

[BrendaBear]

I've done Paul Giamatti and Jason Momoa.

 

[VoraciousValue]

I follow a strict diet and exercise regime. I feel like running a marathon! Look at me go!

 

[Bigspurt]

I have had sex with 5 ladies per day for the last year. They just can't get enough of my monster cock.

 

[drobert44]

https://i.imgur.com/bSWDUrc.gif


Not true, 6" is about right for me............

 

[jeff_is_smiling]

All the packing and rearranging of house items while moving out for 6 weeks so they can start the remodeling demolition inside the house makes me feel calm and stress-free...

 

[ydahecnot]

I have led a secret quest to give dolphins opposable thumbs

 

[ydahecnot]

Looking forward to all the work I'll be doing this week.

She’s got to let you rest…diminishing returns and all

 

[drobert44]

I was once called on stage at a large venue concert to play guitar when the lead guitarist broke a finger.

Did the crowd love Country Western?

 

[BrendaBear]

I was once called on stage at a large venue concert to play guitar when the lead guitarist broke a finger.

How odd… me too!!

 

[BrendaBear]

Did the crowd love Country Western?

Have you ever played Country and Western lead? Not easy, I assure you.