LITEROTICA PODCAST
LIT CAMS (200 Free Tokens)ADULT TOYSVOD MOVIES

That's So Gay....

Q: What is a cupboard full of lesbians called?

A: Licker cabinet.

Q: Why do lesbians like to be reincarnated as whales?

A: So they can have 10-foot tongues and breathe out of the tops of their heads.
 
A blind comes into a lesbian bar by an accident, and orders a drink. And the he says , do you want to hear a fantastic blonde joke ?

Then the silence is broken by a woman voice, and tells him before you tell that joke, then I am going to tell you. The bartender is blonde, I am a very tall and 220 pounds heavy blonde with the black belt in karate , the blonde at my side is a professional weight lifter, and and the woman at my right side is a professional wrestler , and all this I feel you should know before you tell the joke.

The blind man then thinks deep and takes a sip from his drink , and says "you are right, I don´t want to explain the joke four times".
 
Wolfman1982 said:
A blind comes into a lesbian bar by an accident, and orders a drink. And the he says , do you want to hear a fantastic blonde joke ?

Then the silence is broken by a woman voice, and tells him before you tell that joke, then I am going to tell you. The bartender is blonde, I am a very tall and 220 pounds heavy blonde with the black belt in karate , the blonde at my side is a professional weight lifter, and and the woman at my right side is a professional wrestler , and all this I feel you should know before you tell the joke.

The blind man then thinks deep and takes a sip from his drink , and says "you are right, I don´t want to explain the joke four times".
Click to expand...

haha, good one
 
Anniejustagirl said:
Q: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: Four.
One to change it,
two to organize the potluck and
one to write a folk song about the empowering experience.
Click to expand...

One Sunday afternoon in Seattle, I was in the Rose (long story) watching basketball. A woman started parallel parking out front. She couldn't get it right. Back and forth, back and forth.

A small crowd gathered to offer advice on how to parallel park.

I heard someone standing at the bar say "How many lesbians does it take to parallel park?"
 
Bad jokes

Q: What do you call a gay irish couple?
A: Gerald FitzPatrick and Patrick FitzGerald

Q: How do you fit four gay men on a barstool
A: Turn it upside-down.

Quote: One of the marvelous things about being a male homosexual is that your love-handles are occasionally actually used as such.
 
Hear about the lesbian couple who built a cabin?
No nails, all tongue and groove.
~~~~~~~~~~

What do you call two lesbians in a canoe?
Fur traders
~~~~~~~~~~

Man in a bar sees three good-looking women at a table, fondling each other. As he watches, two of them get up and start to slow-dance together. The third walks over and sits on the bar stool next to him. As she hikes her skirt up high, showing him lots of leg, he thinks maybe she swings both ways. She's got her legs parted, showing off a nice, trim snatch. He's trying to find a comfortable way to arrange the bulge in his pants, when she leans toward him and asks,

"Would you like to smell some nice, fresh pussy?"

He just knows he's gotten lucky, and answers, "You know it, baby!"

She leans a little farther forward, smiles, and blows a breath of air in his face.
 
playwithlezli said:
OK folks I need a laff-got any good gay jokes?

ie: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalotapuss.

Cum on, let's hear yours, they can't be worse than mine!
Click to expand...

Just to make it even.

What do you call a gay dinosaur?

Mega-sore-ass
 
Anniejustagirl said:
Jamie invited her mother over to her house for dinner. Over the course of the evening, Jamie's mom started to wonder if there was more between Jamie and her roommate than met the eye. She had long been suspicious of her daughter's sexuality, and watching them interact made her more curious. Reading her mom's thoughts, Jamie volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Sandy and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Sandy came to Jamie and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find my favorite gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

Jamie said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."

So she sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle.
But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

Several days later, Jamie received a letter from her mother which read: "Dear Daughter, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Sandy, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Sandy. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now."
Click to expand...

this is something my mother would do. lol
 
Anniejustagirl said:
Jamie invited her mother over to her house for dinner. Over the course of the evening, Jamie's mom started to wonder if there was more between Jamie and her roommate than met the eye. She had long been suspicious of her daughter's sexuality, and watching them interact made her more curious. Reading her mom's thoughts, Jamie volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Sandy and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Sandy came to Jamie and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find my favorite gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

Jamie said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."

So she sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle.
But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

Several days later, Jamie received a letter from her mother which read: "Dear Daughter, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Sandy, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Sandy. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now."
Click to expand...


LMAO! thats great.
 
Teenage girl asked her mom, is it true babies come out were boys put
their penis?
Her mom said yes.
The girl said won't that break my jaw?
 
Q. Why do gay men wear ribbed condoms?
A. For traction in the mud.

Hope you all aren´t offended of that joke :)
 
Well, this was a man who went up to the doctor. And he says, to the doctor . "Doctor, I have something stuck in my butt, would you please try to remove it ?"

And the doctor , put on a glove , and put some gel on his glove , and shoves his hand up. And then his hand was around something, and he pulled out and says "a dildo ?" and the man says, "nono there is something way longer up. And then the doctor goes up again, and pulls out again and says "a wedding ring ?" and the man says "no no, please try to get just a tiny bit further up". And then the doctor finally gets a hold of the thing in the mans buttocks and pulls out and he says "a mars bar ?", and then man says with a very feminine voice "that is for you, because you have been so sweet"

Ok, if you feel this joke is bad, then try to say it while people are listening. Since it cracks people up.

Here is a nother one, some straight men calls masturbation. "Meeting Mrs. Palm and her five daughters" and when I think about it, then masturbation for some gay men, must be: "Meeting Mr. Palm and his five sons " then :)

But what should we call a bisexual masturbation ? a family orgy ?

LOL sorry, I have a sick humour ;) hope you don´t mind.
 
Heard in an interview with a gay guy on CBC radio lately:

GG-"I think gay guys are missing the "put it together " gene."

INTEVIEWER-"really"

GG-"Yes, I bought a set of chairs at Ikea a few years ago, I took them out of the box, spent an hour trying to put them together, gave up, the next year I took them out, spent several hours trying to put them together, gave up. The third year, I took them out again, looked at them, then said forget it, and hired a lesbian to come put them together for me."
 
Two gay magicians are comparing their acts, the first one asks the second if he can pull a rabbit out of a hat. The second one replies, no, he can't pull a rabbit out of his hat, but he can pull a hare out of his ass.


Hmmmm, maybe that one is best left as verbal. Although it has got me thinking about homonymes. (sp?)

Insert groan here.
 
playwithlezli said:
Two gay magicians are comparing their acts, the first one asks the second if he can pull a rabbit out of a hat. The second one replies, no, he can't pull a rabbit out of his hat, but he can pull a hare out of his ass.


Hmmmm, maybe that one is best left as verbal. Although it has got me thinking about homonymes. (sp?)

Insert groan here.
Click to expand...

We use the exact same name for that lovely creature

a hare

http://www.zoologi.no/patlas/images/hare-BP.jpg

but not with hair.

http://div.dyndns.org/EK/tutorial/hair/hair6.jpg

So the joke is funny :)

Since maybe you should be drunk to get the joke. But I do understand it.
 
Last edited:
Whats up doc.

Two gay guys are at a party and one of them looks across the room and sees the man of his dream. He leans over to his buddy and says, who's that meaty lollipop over there! His friend frowns and says, forget it bitch, he's out of your league. What do you mean replies his friend. That guy is a wealthy doctor, a proctologist to be exact and he roams in different circles, you'll never get to hook up with that, don't tease yourself. I can make it happens, I can get to see him, watch I'm going to snag that big hunk, says his friend.
So the friend makes an appointment to see the doctor in question and with a waiting period of about three months for check-ups he waits patiently for the day of his physical and rectal exam. That day he showers twice, shaves all the areas he'll be exposing and prims for the meeting. he gets to the office and after a short wait is escorted into a bland examining room and told to put on a robe. He's so excited that he's vibrating as the doc walks in and introduces himself while holding a clipboard. The examination goes well and the guy is just in heaven feeling the doctors hands roaming all over his body.
Finally the doctor turns away, opens a draw and with and upturned hand and a tight snap of latex the guy almost creams himself when the doctor turn back around with a glove on. Please assume the position he instructs and the guy spins and lays chest flat on the examining table, back curved and hips jutting up in the air with his legs spread in anticipation. The doctor reaches down and with both palms spreads the guys ass and sees a twig sticking out of his ass! What the heck is this he says! And reaches in and grabs the tip of it and with a slow steady pull he pulls out a long stemmed ROSE! He looks over the guys shoulder with rose in hand and says, whats the meaning of this. The guy turns, smiles and says, DON'T FORGET THE CARD!
 
Now you are warned, nasty gay jokes coming up.

some of the jokes are insane, so don´t kill me for posting them, but they are in the gay joke thread, because I felt. They were funny enough for it, and I would respect, if the post got deleted. If Etoile feels, the jokes are too hateful .

Q: Why are gay men so generous?
A: They don't know how to be tight-arsed. (I removed the homophobic slur and put in another word).

Q: Did you hear about the homo whale?
A: He bit off the tip of a submarine and sucked out all the seamen.

Q: How many screws are there in a lesbian's coffin?
A: None, it's all tongue and groove.

Q: What do you call 100 heavily-armed lesbians?
A: Militia Etheridge.

Q: Why were lesbians invented?
A: So radical feminists wouldn't breed.

Q: What's the definition of a poofter?
A: A bloke who enlarges the circle of his friends!

Q: What's the definition of a transvestite?
A: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Santos90A
Gay Sissy training - instructional stories
Replies
5
Views
620
NCMaleMan74
NCMaleMan74
CharlieBoker
The Gay Urge
4 5 6
Replies
142
Views
12K
TryGuy35
T
spiderboi
Fond memories of coming out?
Replies
2
Views
142
Travler99921
T
G
Curiosity - My earliest experience that still haunts my fantasies
5 6 7
Replies
150
Views
11K
AlwaysHard35
AlwaysHard35
liqueur
"straight", as compared to faggots, queers, and the rest of us
3 4 5
Replies
123
Views
5K
liqueur
liqueur
Back
Top