The Bears Den

[kayte]

Chuckle

One more chuckle for everyone!!!

A Nun's Kiss

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and the cabdriver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring.

He replies, "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you."

She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a Nun as long as I have; you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a Nun kiss me."

She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic."

The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I am single; and I'm Catholic too!"

"OK," the Nun says, "Pull into the next alley."

He does, and the Nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

"My dear child," said the nun, "why are you crying?"

"Forgive me Sister, but I have sinned. I lied. I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."

The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm on my way to a Halloween party."

 

[Spenser41]

Hello Ms Bear, I do hope you are feeling better and fine as a fiddle soon.

 

[MaryBears]

{{{{{{Mary}}}}}}

I am so happy I was able to bring a smile to your face. I am sure the day exhausted you.

Get lots of rest and have sweet dreams tonight. I hope the PT is good and that the Dr appt. is a good one.

My day was ok. I talked to my parents tonight, that is always so nice.

{{{{{{{{kayte}}}}}}}}}}}}

Good morning!!!!

Yes I got good rest last night....I was totally exhausted.....

Getting ready to head out the door soon for my appointments.....I will be so glad when I get rid of the bronchitis.....I take coughing fits and literally take my breath way....It drives me NUTS......

You have a good day.....and Thanks so much for the jokes

 

[MaryBears]

Hello Ms Bear, I do hope you are feeling better and fine as a fiddle soon.

{{{{{{{{{spenser}}}}}}}}

OMG so glad to see you pop in

Long time since I seen you....I do hope all is alright......

and thanks so much for all the good wishes.....

You take care and stop in often

 

[MaryBears]

Good Morning to all the Cubs and Cubettes......

Hope that evryone is well and enjoying this lil thread......And I hope that you all continue to cum back.....You all make me feel so special to see!!!!!

Yesterday was a very emotional and trying day and my being sick didn't help matters....BUT I sleep like a baby last night. I don't think I moved after my head hit those pills.....Thank God for a goodnights rest.

Well, gotta get ready to go to PT and to the drs for a followup...

Take care and leave messages......ABOVE ALL have fun playing in The Bear's Den

 

[kayte]

{{{{{{{{kayte}}}}}}}}}}}}

Good morning!!!!

Yes I got good rest last night....I was totally exhausted.....

Getting ready to head out the door soon for my appointments.....I will be so glad when I get rid of the bronchitis.....I take coughing fits and literally take my breath way....It drives me NUTS......

You have a good day.....and Thanks so much for the jokes

Good morning {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Mary}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

So glad to hear you got a good night's sleep. That cough must be so tiring. Glad you are going back to the Dr again today for a followup.

Glad you like the funnies I have been dropping here.

Have a great day. Hope to see you later.

 

[FRENCHIE44T]

Mary my sweet

Hi Mary, I hope the PT and Doc's visit went well for you today Babe and things are looking a bit more rosey 4 U now

Chin up mate, we are all on your side and you are always in my thoughts.

Catch you soon, Hugs & licks.

 

[kayte]

{{{{Mary}}}}} Hope all of your appointments went well today.

Thought I'd leave something funny I got today.

Finally, the guys' side of the story.

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put
it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect
us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

 

[MaryBears]

Good morning {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Mary}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

So glad to hear you got a good night's sleep. That cough must be so tiring. Glad you are going back to the Dr again today for a followup.

Glad you like the funnies I have been dropping here.

Have a great day. Hope to see you later.

{{{{{{kayte}}}}}}}


My appointments went well today......My chest is clearing and she told me to finish my antibotic, force fluids and get plenty of rest.....all things I have been doing.....Then in a week or so I have to go back and get a flu shot and a pnemonia shot.........Oh well use to needles get allergy shot ever week

Thanks for the joke....I liked it...

Hope your doing well....

 

[MaryBears]

Re: Mary my sweet

Hi Mary, I hope the PT and Doc's visit went well for you today Babe and things are looking a bit more rosey 4 U now

Chin up mate, we are all on your side and you are always in my thoughts.

Catch you soon, Hugs & licks.

Hi Frenchie,

Thanks it went well....And I get to go to PT again tomorrow.....Someone said today there that PT = Pain and Torcher...hehe...but without it can't get well....SO got to keep the chin up and do what you can when you can.

OH by the way I loved the message you left in my community about the lit peoples photos......I hope others join it and add pics....As I said I love creating those

Hugs, licks and Kisses

 

[MaryBears]

This is so ME

 

[MaryBears]

Beaver Huntin


Beaver Huntin'




An 80 year old man went to his doctor for his annual checkup. Upon his arrival, the doctor asked him how he had been doing. The old man replied, "Well, Doc, I am feeling better than ever....I have an 18 yr old wife that is pregnant with my child....What do you think about that?" The doctor pondered a minute and then said, "Well, I have this real good friend that is an avid hunter - he never misses a season. A couple of years ago, he overslept and in his haste accidentally picked up his umbrella in place of his rifle. Just when he had reached his favorite spot, he spotted a prime beaver sitting on a log. He hurriedly brought the umbrella up and said 'Bang, Bang' and the beaver fell over dead. Now what do you think about that?" The old man quickly replied, "Well, I'd say someone else shot that beaver!" The doctor replied, "My point exactly...."

 

[MaryBears]

Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to
communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights because they can't see each other
using sign language. After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife
decides to find a solution.

"Honey," she signs, "Why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you
want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want to
have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time."

The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife, "Great idea, Now if you want to
have sex with ME, reach over and pull on my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach
over and pull on my penis 50 times."

 

[FRENCHIE44T]

Re: Re: Mary my sweet

Hi Frenchie,

Thanks it went well....And I get to go to PT again tomorrow.....Someone said today there that PT = Pain and Torcher...hehe...but without it can't get well....SO got to keep the chin up and do what you can when you can.

OH by the way I loved the message you left in my community about the lit peoples photos......I hope others join it and add pics....As I said I love creating those

Hugs, licks and Kisses

Hope you got on Ok today and they didnt hurt you too much, PM me to say how you got on if you want too


OH YEH, ALL YOU PEOPLE OUT THERE IN CYBER LAND, WHO ARE MEMBERS ON MARYBEARS WEB SITE, POST YOUR PHOTO ON THE LIT FRIENDS ALBUM, I'M GETTING LONLEY. he he

for MaryBears

 

[MaryBears]

Re: Re: Re: Mary my sweet

Hope you got on Ok today and they didnt hurt you too much, PM me to say how you got on if yopu want too


OH YEH, ALL YOU PEOPLE OUT THERE IN CYBER LAND, WHO ARE MEMBERS ON MARYBEARS WEB SITE, POST YOUR PHOTO ON THE LIT FRIENDS ALBUM, I'M GETTING LONLEY. he he

for MaryBears

Frenchie PT went good today.....my knee is sore today but I am survivingl, have to for all my friends


The Web site that Frenchie is linked on my profile.....I create those MSN Communities/Groups out of hobby.....You all are well to join it and I have created a special Lit Photo Album under Pictures for you all....But please this group is general rated thus kids can look at them so please keep the pics appropriate.....thanks!!!!!

And Thanks for Frenchie to mention it.....

 

[kayte]

{{{{{{kayte}}}}}}}


My appointments went well today......My chest is clearing and she told me to finish my antibotic, force fluids and get plenty of rest.....all things I have been doing.....Then in a week or so I have to go back and get a flu shot and a pnemonia shot.........Oh well use to needles get allergy shot ever week

Thanks for the joke....I liked it...

Hope your doing well....

{{{{{{{{{{{Mary}}}}}}}}}}} So glad to hear it is going well, and yes, do what she says.

Glad you liked the joke.

Hope you like what follows.


Will Rogers, who died in a plane crash with Wylie Post in 1935, was probably the greatest political sage that America has ever known.

Enjoy the following quotes:

1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.

2. There are 2 theories to arguing with a woman, neither works.

3. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

4. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

5. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it
back in your pocket.

6. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes
from bad judgment.

7. If you're riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now
and then to make sure it's still there.

8. Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier then
putting it back.

9. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he
started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.
The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

AND ABOUT GROWING OLDER:

1. Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your
age and start bragging about it.

2. The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line
for.

3. Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want
people to know why I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of
the roads weren't paved.

4. When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your
youth, think of Algebra.

5. I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the
top.

6. One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it
is such a nice change from being young.

7. One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has
been.

8. Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

9. Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was
called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.

10. If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything
to laugh at when you are old.

 

[MaryBears]

{{{{{{{{{{{Mary}}}}}}}}}}} So glad to hear it is going well, and yes, do what she says.

Glad you liked the joke.

Hope you like what follows.


Will Rogers, who died in a plane crash with Wylie Post in 1935, was probably the greatest political sage that America has ever known.

Enjoy the following quotes:

1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.

2. There are 2 theories to arguing with a woman, neither works.

3. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

4. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

5. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it
back in your pocket.

6. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes
from bad judgment.

7. If you're riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now
and then to make sure it's still there.

8. Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier then
putting it back.

9. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he
started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.
The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

AND ABOUT GROWING OLDER:

1. Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your
age and start bragging about it.

2. The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line
for.

3. Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want
people to know why I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of
the roads weren't paved.

4. When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your
youth, think of Algebra.

5. I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the
top.

6. One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it
is such a nice change from being young.

7. One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has
been.

8. Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

9. Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was
called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.

10. If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything
to laugh at when you are old.

{{{{{{Katye}}}}}}}}}

I am going to do what the dr says.....infact tomorrow is the first morning all week that I am going to be able to sleep in.....


OMG I loved these jokes......Thanks so very much and keep them cumming

 

[kayte]

{{{{{{Katye}}}}}}}}}

I am going to do what the dr says.....infact tomorrow is the first morning all week that I am going to be able to sleep in.....


OMG I loved these jokes......Thanks so very much and keep them cumming

So glad to hear you will sleep in. Have wonderful dreams tonight. {{{{{{{{{{{{{Mary}}}}}}}}}}}}

I will drop funnies off when I find/get them. So glad you like them.

 

[FRENCHIE44T]

{{{{{{Katye}}}}}}}}}

I am going to do what the dr says.....infact tomorrow is the first morning all week that I am going to be able to sleep in.....


OMG I loved these jokes......Thanks so very much and keep them cumming

****************************************************

GoodMorning MaryBears, I hope you had a good sleep.

I was going to say have a good nights sleep but looking at what time you did your last post, there wasn't much of the night left.

I will catch up with you later. Luv to you.


****************************************************

 

[kayte]

Good morning {{{{{Mary}}}}} Glad you are sleeping in.

Leaving some thoughts for all of us....

I grew up in the fifties with practical parents -- a
mother, God love her, who washed aluminum foil after
she cooked in it, then reused it. She was the original
recycle queen, before they had a name for it...

A father who was happier getting old shoes fixed than
buying new ones.

Their marriage was good, their dreams focused. Their
best friends lived barely a wave away. I can see them

now, Dad in trousers, tee shirt and a hat and Mom in a
house dress, lawn mower in one hand, dishtowel in the
other.

It was the time for fixing things -- a curtain rod,
the kitchen radio, screen door, the oven door, the hem
in a dress. Things we keep.

It was a way of life, and sometimes it made me crazy.

All that re-fixing, reheating, renewing, I wanted just
once to be wasteful.

Waste meant affluence. Throwing things away meant you
knew there'd always be more.

But then my mother died, and on that clear summer's
night, in the warmth of the hospital room, I was
struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there
isn't any 'more.'


Sometimes, what we care about most gets all used up
and goes away...never to return.

So...while we have it...it's best we love it.....and
care for it.....and fix it when it's broken.....and
heal it when it's sick.

This is true.....for marriage.....and old cars.....and
children with bad report cards.....and dogs with bad
hips.....and aging parents.....and grandparents.

We keep them because they are worth it, because we are
worth it.

Some things we keep.

Like a best friend that moved away -- or -- a
classmate we grew up with.

There are just some things that make life important,
like people we know who are special.....and so, we
keep them close!

I received this from someone who thinks I am a
'keeper' so I've sent it to the people I think of in
the same way. Now it's your turn to send this to those
people that are "keepers" in your life.

Good friends are like stars....You don't always see
them, but you know they are always there.

 

[FRENCHIE44T]

What Kayte said

Kayte, that is so very true. All those words, all the things and comments in your post. I read it from start to finish and just sat reflecting when I got to the end and thought, Woooooooooow.

 

[MaryBears]

****************************************************

GoodMorning MaryBears, I hope you had a good sleep.

I was going to say have a good nights sleep but looking at what time you did your last post, there wasn't much of the night left.

I will catch up with you later. Luv to you.


****************************************************

Good Evening Frenchie, OH i sleep like a baby......I sleep late too....lt felt so great.....

 

[MaryBears]

So glad to hear you will sleep in. Have wonderful dreams tonight. {{{{{{{{{{{{{Mary}}}}}}}}}}}}

I will drop funnies off when I find/get them. So glad you like them.

{{{{{{{{{{Kayte}}}}}}}}}}}}} yes i sleep so well.....I sleep until a lil after 1 pm....I needed it though

 

[MaryBears]

Good morning {{{{{Mary}}}}} Glad you are sleeping in.

Leaving some thoughts for all of us....

I grew up in the fifties with practical parents -- a
mother, God love her, who washed aluminum foil after
she cooked in it, then reused it. She was the original
recycle queen, before they had a name for it...

A father who was happier getting old shoes fixed than
buying new ones.

Their marriage was good, their dreams focused. Their
best friends lived barely a wave away. I can see them

now, Dad in trousers, tee shirt and a hat and Mom in a
house dress, lawn mower in one hand, dishtowel in the
other.

It was the time for fixing things -- a curtain rod,
the kitchen radio, screen door, the oven door, the hem
in a dress. Things we keep.

It was a way of life, and sometimes it made me crazy.

All that re-fixing, reheating, renewing, I wanted just
once to be wasteful.

Waste meant affluence. Throwing things away meant you
knew there'd always be more.

But then my mother died, and on that clear summer's
night, in the warmth of the hospital room, I was
struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there
isn't any 'more.'


Sometimes, what we care about most gets all used up
and goes away...never to return.

So...while we have it...it's best we love it.....and
care for it.....and fix it when it's broken.....and
heal it when it's sick.

This is true.....for marriage.....and old cars.....and
children with bad report cards.....and dogs with bad
hips.....and aging parents.....and grandparents.

We keep them because they are worth it, because we are
worth it.

Some things we keep.

Like a best friend that moved away -- or -- a
classmate we grew up with.

There are just some things that make life important,
like people we know who are special.....and so, we
keep them close!

I received this from someone who thinks I am a
'keeper' so I've sent it to the people I think of in
the same way. Now it's your turn to send this to those
people that are "keepers" in your life.

Good friends are like stars....You don't always see
them, but you know they are always there.

SO Very true and thanks for sharing it.....I loved it and beleive in it.... love ya kayte

 

[kayte]

{{{{{{{{{{Kayte}}}}}}}}}}}}} yes i sleep so well.....I sleep until a lil after 1 pm....I needed it though

{{{{{Mary}}}}} Nice to see you this afternoon. It is wonderful to hear you slept so well.

To be honest I did too last night. First night I have slept through for so long.

Hope your evening is a wonderful one.