Blue Dolphin
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Hi people
for kayte for Mary
The Bears Den
- Thread starter MaryBears
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Hi people
for kayte for MaryBlue Dolphin
Back home again
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- 20,658
Blue Dolphin
Back home again
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Blue Dolphin
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catsr2wild
Taking it easy
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Re: Thank you my friends.
Nice Kayte.....I love reading stuff like that it just makes you feel good inside no matter what...hope you are having a great day!
kayte said:
Nice Kayte.....I love reading stuff like that it just makes you feel good inside no matter what...hope you are having a great day!
catsr2wild
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Blue Dolphin said:
Oh my BD.....rotflmfao!!!!
Blue Dolphin
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catsr2wild said:
chuckles at cats
good aint it LOL
Blue Dolphin
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minnie179 said:
he he he
sad I know that I have time to find them
but they are such fun
kisses minnie
MaryBears
Literotica Guru
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{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{katye}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}kayte said:Good morning {{{{{{{{{{{Mary}}}}}}}
Have a warm and cuddly one.
Hope you had a good day
I am very tired.....my day was long and tiring.....going to read emails and go to bed soon.....I am bushed
MaryBears
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Hey Minnie......minnie179 said:
BD does have some good funnies......and that is what this thread is....everyone having fun and getting a good laugh.
Feel free to leave some funnies....
AND thanks to everyone that leaves funnies and post of any kind....really appreciate it.
Missingmeds
Just being
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One from one of the insominacs
Why Computers Sometimes Crash! by Dr. Seuss.
(Read this to yourself aloud - it's great!)
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort,
and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
and your data is corrupted cause the index doesn't hash,
then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!
If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
but your packets want to tunnel to another protocol,
that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall.
And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse;
then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'cuz sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!
When the copy on your floppy's getting sloppy in the disk,
and the macro code instructions is causing unnecessary risk,
then you'll have to flash the memory and RAM your ROM,
then quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your Mom!
Well, that certainly clears things up for me. How about you?
Thank you, Bill Gates, for bringing all this into our lives.
Why Computers Sometimes Crash! by Dr. Seuss.
(Read this to yourself aloud - it's great!)
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort,
and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
and your data is corrupted cause the index doesn't hash,
then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!
If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
but your packets want to tunnel to another protocol,
that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall.
And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse;
then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'cuz sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!
When the copy on your floppy's getting sloppy in the disk,
and the macro code instructions is causing unnecessary risk,
then you'll have to flash the memory and RAM your ROM,
then quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your Mom!
Well, that certainly clears things up for me. How about you?
Thank you, Bill Gates, for bringing all this into our lives.
MaryBears
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2003
- Posts
- 23,590
Can we say busted????????
A man calls home to his wife and says, "Honey I have been
asked to go fishing at a big lake up in Canada with my
boss and several of his friends. We'll be gone for a
week."
"This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion
I've been wanting so would you please pack me enough
clothes for a week and set out my rod and tackle box.
We're leaving from the office and I will swing by the
house to pick my things up. Oh! Please pack my new blue
silk pajamas."
The wife thinks this sounds a little fishy but being a
good wife she does exactly what her husband asked.
The following weekend he comes home a little tired but
otherwise looking good. The wife welcomes him home and
asks if he caught many fish?
He says, "Yes! Lot's of Walleye, some Bluegill, and a few
Pike. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas
like I asked you to do?"
I did, they're in your tackle box.
Remember, today is a gift!
That's why it's called the Present!
A man calls home to his wife and says, "Honey I have been
asked to go fishing at a big lake up in Canada with my
boss and several of his friends. We'll be gone for a
week."
"This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion
I've been wanting so would you please pack me enough
clothes for a week and set out my rod and tackle box.
We're leaving from the office and I will swing by the
house to pick my things up. Oh! Please pack my new blue
silk pajamas."
The wife thinks this sounds a little fishy but being a
good wife she does exactly what her husband asked.
The following weekend he comes home a little tired but
otherwise looking good. The wife welcomes him home and
asks if he caught many fish?
He says, "Yes! Lot's of Walleye, some Bluegill, and a few
Pike. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas
like I asked you to do?"
I did, they're in your tackle box.
Remember, today is a gift!
That's why it's called the Present!
Puddin36
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 13, 2001
- Posts
- 1,853
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{EVERYONE}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
I knew I would forget someone if I gave individual hugs, so I played it safe and did it this way!!!!
So many great jokes and pics..........everyone is doing a great job of keeping us all laughing. I just finished my long weekend of work and am here now to relax before going to bed. Hope everyone had a good weekend and that everyone is safe and well.
Hugs and Licks.............Puddin
I knew I would forget someone if I gave individual hugs, so I played it safe and did it this way!!!!
So many great jokes and pics..........everyone is doing a great job of keeping us all laughing. I just finished my long weekend of work and am here now to relax before going to bed. Hope everyone had a good weekend and that everyone is safe and well.
Hugs and Licks.............Puddin
catsr2wild
Taking it easy
- Joined
- Jan 15, 2004
- Posts
- 40,268
Types of sex
Ok here we go:
Subject: Kinds of Sex
SOCIAL SECURITY SEX:
Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?" "Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex." "Social Security sex?" "Yeah, you know: I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"
LOUD SEX:
A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell." "My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is." "The problem is," she complained, "It wakes me up!"
QUIET SEX:
Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session, "How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?" She glanced at him casually and replied, "You're never home!"
CONFOUNDED SEX:
A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery, since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for "small, $6,500 for "medium, $14,000 for "large." The man was sure he would want a medium or large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision. The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options. The doctor came back into the room, and found the man looking dejected. "Well, what have the two of you decided?" asked the doctor. The man answered, "She'd rather remodel the kitchen".
WEDDING ANNIVERSARY SEX: A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary. The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever'." "Yeah," she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone reads: 'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'"
WOMEN'S HUMOR: My husband came home with a tube of K Y jelly and said, "This will make you happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in.
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman says..... "I'll miss you."
Ok here we go:
Subject: Kinds of Sex
SOCIAL SECURITY SEX:
Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?" "Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex." "Social Security sex?" "Yeah, you know: I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"
LOUD SEX:
A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell." "My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is." "The problem is," she complained, "It wakes me up!"
QUIET SEX:
Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session, "How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?" She glanced at him casually and replied, "You're never home!"
CONFOUNDED SEX:
A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery, since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for "small, $6,500 for "medium, $14,000 for "large." The man was sure he would want a medium or large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision. The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options. The doctor came back into the room, and found the man looking dejected. "Well, what have the two of you decided?" asked the doctor. The man answered, "She'd rather remodel the kitchen".
WEDDING ANNIVERSARY SEX: A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary. The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever'." "Yeah," she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone reads: 'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'"
WOMEN'S HUMOR: My husband came home with a tube of K Y jelly and said, "This will make you happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in.
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman says..... "I'll miss you."
Blue Dolphin
Back home again
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- Nov 11, 2001
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- 20,658
Re: Types of sex
ROFL
Brilliant Cats
keep em cummin darlin
catsr2wild said:Ok here we go:
Subject: Kinds of Sex
SOCIAL SECURITY SEX:
Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?" "Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex." "Social Security sex?" "Yeah, you know: I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"
LOUD SEX:
A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell." "My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is." "The problem is," she complained, "It wakes me up!"
QUIET SEX:
Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session, "How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?" She glanced at him casually and replied, "You're never home!"
CONFOUNDED SEX:
A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery, since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for "small, $6,500 for "medium, $14,000 for "large." The man was sure he would want a medium or large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision. The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options. The doctor came back into the room, and found the man looking dejected. "Well, what have the two of you decided?" asked the doctor. The man answered, "She'd rather remodel the kitchen".
WEDDING ANNIVERSARY SEX: A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary. The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever'." "Yeah," she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone reads: 'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'"
WOMEN'S HUMOR: My husband came home with a tube of K Y jelly and said, "This will make you happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in.
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman says..... "I'll miss you."
ROFL
Brilliant Cats
keep em cummin darlin
Blue Dolphin
Back home again
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- Posts
- 20,658
Blue Dolphin
Back home again
- Joined
- Nov 11, 2001
- Posts
- 20,658
Blue Dolphin
Back home again
- Joined
- Nov 11, 2001
- Posts
- 20,658
Blue Dolphin
Back home again
- Joined
- Nov 11, 2001
- Posts
- 20,658
Blue Dolphin
Back home again
- Joined
- Nov 11, 2001
- Posts
- 20,658
Blue Dolphin
Back home again
- Joined
- Nov 11, 2001
- Posts
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