The Bears Den
- Thread starter MaryBears
- Start date
- Status
MaryBears
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2003
- Posts
- 23,590
This is interesting.........I am a cat:
>Go ahead - check out your birth date and see what you're all about.....
>
>Look below for your characteristics
>
>
>
>January 01 - 09 ~ Dog
>
>January 10 - 24 ~ Mouse
>
>January 25 - 31 ~ Lion
>
>
>
>February 01 - 05 ~ Cat
>
>February 06 - 14 ~ Dove
>
>February 15 - 21 ~ Turtle
>
>February 22 - 28 ~ Panther
>
>
>
>March 01 - 12 ~ Monkey
>
>March 13 - 15 ~ Lion
>
>March 16 - 23 ~ Mouse
>
>March 24 - 31 ~ Cat
>
>
>
>April 01 - 03 ~ Dog
>
>April 04 - 14 ~ Panther
>
>April 15 - 26 ~ Mouse
>
>April 27 - 30 ~ Turtle
>
>
>
>May 01 - 13 ~ Monkey
>
>May 14 - 21 ~ Dove
>
>May 22 - 31 ~ Lion
>
>
>
>June 01 - 03 ~ Mouse
>
>June 04 - 14 ~ Turtle
>
>June 15 - 20 ~ Dog
>
>June 21 - 24 ~ Monkey
>
>June 25 - 30 ~ Cat
>
>
>
>July 01 - 09 ~ Mouse
>
>July 10 - 15 ~ Dog
>
>July 16 - 26 ~ Dove
>
>July 27 - 31 ~ Cat
>
>
>
>August 01 - 15 ~ Monkey
>
>August 16 - 25 ~ Mouse
>
>August 26 - 31 ~ Turtle
>
>
>
>September 01 - 14 ~ Dove
>
>September 15 - 27 ~ Cat
>
>September 28 - 30 ~ Dog
>
>
>
>October 01 - 15 ~ Monkey
>
>October 16 - 27 ~ Turtle
>
>October 28 - 31 ~ Panther
>
>
>
>November 01 - 16 ~ Lion
>
>November 17 - 30 ~ Cat
>
>
>
>December 01 - 16 ~ Dog
>
>December 17 - 25 ~ Monkey
>
>December 26 - 31 ~ Dove
>
>
>
>If you are a Dog: A very loyal and sweet person. Your loyalty can never
>be doubted. You are quite honest and sincere when it comes to your
>attitude towards working. You are a very simple person, indeed.
>Absolutely hassle free, humble and down-to-earth!! That explains the
>reason why your friends cling on to you! You have a good taste for
>clothes. If your wardrobe is not updated with what is trendy, you sure
>are depressed. Popular and easy-going. You have a little group of
>dignified friends, all of them being quality-personified.
>
>
>
>If you are a Mouse: Always up to some sort of a mischief! The
>mischievous gleam in your eyes is what makes you so cute and attractive
>to everyone. You are an extremely fun-to-be-with kind of person. No
>wonder, people seek for your company and look forward to include you for
>all get-together. However, you are sensitive, which is a drawback.
>People need to select their words while talking to you. If someone tries
>to fiddle around and play with words while dealing with you, it is
>enough to invite your wrath. God bless the person then!
>
>
>
>If you are a Lion: Quite contradictory to your name, you are a peace
>loving person. You best try to avoid a situation wherein you are
>required to fight. An outdoor person, you dislike sitting at one place
>for a long duration. You are a born leader, and have it in you how to
>tactfully derive work from people. You love being loved, and when you
>receive your share of limelight from someone, you are all theirs!!!!
>Well, well... hence some people could even take an advantage, flatter
>you to the maximum and get their work done. So be careful.....
>
>
>
>If you are a Cat: An extremely lovable, adorable person, sometimes shy,
>with a passion for quick wit. At times, you prefer quietness. You love
>exploring various things and going into depth of each thing. Under
>normal circumstances you're cool, when given a reason to, you are like a
>volcano waiting to erupt. You're a fashion bird. People look forward to
>you as an icon associated with fashion. Basically, you mingle along
>freely but don't like talking much to strangers. People feel very easy
>in your company. You observe care in choosing your friends.
>
>
>
>If you are a Turtle: You are near to perfect and nice at heart. The
>examples of your kindness are always circulated in groups of people.
>You, too, love peace. You wouldn't like to retaliate even to a person
>who is in the wrong. You are loved due to this. You do not wish to talk
>behind one's back. People love the way you always treat them. You can
>give, give and give love, and the best part is that you do not expect it
>back in return. You are generous enough. Seeing things in a practical
>light is what remains the best trait of you guys.
>
>
>
>If you are a Dove: You symbolize a very happy-go-lucky approach in life.
>Whatever the surroundings may be, grim or cheerful, you remain
>unaffected. In fact, you spread cheer wherever you go. You are the
>leader of your group of friends and good at consoling people in their
>times of need. You dislike hypocrisy and tend to shirk away from
>hypocrites. They can never be in your good books, no matter what. You
>are very methodical and organized in your work. No amount of mess,
>hence, can ever encompass you. Beware, it is easy for you to fall in
>love....
>
>
>
>If you are a Panther: You are mysterious. You are someone who can handle
>pressure with ease, and can handle any atmosphere without going berserk.
>You can be mean at times, and love to gossip with your selected group.
>Very prim and proper. You like all situations and things to be in the
>way you desire, which, sometimes is not possible. As a result, you may
>lose out in some relationships. But otherwise, you love to help people
>out from difficult and tight spots when they really need you.
>
>
>
>If you are a Monkey: Very impatient and hyper!!! You want things to be
>done as quick as possible. At heart, you are quite simple and love if
>you are the centre of attraction. That way, you people are unique. You
>would like to keep yourself safe from all the angles. Shall your name be
>dragged or featured in any sort of a controversy, you then go all
>panicky. Therefore, you take your precautions from the very beginning.
>When you foresee anything wrong, your sixth sense is what saves you from
>falling in traps. Quite a money minded bunch you people are!!
>Go ahead - check out your birth date and see what you're all about.....
>
>Look below for your characteristics
>
>
>
>January 01 - 09 ~ Dog
>
>January 10 - 24 ~ Mouse
>
>January 25 - 31 ~ Lion
>
>
>
>February 01 - 05 ~ Cat
>
>February 06 - 14 ~ Dove
>
>February 15 - 21 ~ Turtle
>
>February 22 - 28 ~ Panther
>
>
>
>March 01 - 12 ~ Monkey
>
>March 13 - 15 ~ Lion
>
>March 16 - 23 ~ Mouse
>
>March 24 - 31 ~ Cat
>
>
>
>April 01 - 03 ~ Dog
>
>April 04 - 14 ~ Panther
>
>April 15 - 26 ~ Mouse
>
>April 27 - 30 ~ Turtle
>
>
>
>May 01 - 13 ~ Monkey
>
>May 14 - 21 ~ Dove
>
>May 22 - 31 ~ Lion
>
>
>
>June 01 - 03 ~ Mouse
>
>June 04 - 14 ~ Turtle
>
>June 15 - 20 ~ Dog
>
>June 21 - 24 ~ Monkey
>
>June 25 - 30 ~ Cat
>
>
>
>July 01 - 09 ~ Mouse
>
>July 10 - 15 ~ Dog
>
>July 16 - 26 ~ Dove
>
>July 27 - 31 ~ Cat
>
>
>
>August 01 - 15 ~ Monkey
>
>August 16 - 25 ~ Mouse
>
>August 26 - 31 ~ Turtle
>
>
>
>September 01 - 14 ~ Dove
>
>September 15 - 27 ~ Cat
>
>September 28 - 30 ~ Dog
>
>
>
>October 01 - 15 ~ Monkey
>
>October 16 - 27 ~ Turtle
>
>October 28 - 31 ~ Panther
>
>
>
>November 01 - 16 ~ Lion
>
>November 17 - 30 ~ Cat
>
>
>
>December 01 - 16 ~ Dog
>
>December 17 - 25 ~ Monkey
>
>December 26 - 31 ~ Dove
>
>
>
>If you are a Dog: A very loyal and sweet person. Your loyalty can never
>be doubted. You are quite honest and sincere when it comes to your
>attitude towards working. You are a very simple person, indeed.
>Absolutely hassle free, humble and down-to-earth!! That explains the
>reason why your friends cling on to you! You have a good taste for
>clothes. If your wardrobe is not updated with what is trendy, you sure
>are depressed. Popular and easy-going. You have a little group of
>dignified friends, all of them being quality-personified.
>
>
>
>If you are a Mouse: Always up to some sort of a mischief! The
>mischievous gleam in your eyes is what makes you so cute and attractive
>to everyone. You are an extremely fun-to-be-with kind of person. No
>wonder, people seek for your company and look forward to include you for
>all get-together. However, you are sensitive, which is a drawback.
>People need to select their words while talking to you. If someone tries
>to fiddle around and play with words while dealing with you, it is
>enough to invite your wrath. God bless the person then!
>
>
>
>If you are a Lion: Quite contradictory to your name, you are a peace
>loving person. You best try to avoid a situation wherein you are
>required to fight. An outdoor person, you dislike sitting at one place
>for a long duration. You are a born leader, and have it in you how to
>tactfully derive work from people. You love being loved, and when you
>receive your share of limelight from someone, you are all theirs!!!!
>Well, well... hence some people could even take an advantage, flatter
>you to the maximum and get their work done. So be careful.....
>
>
>
>If you are a Cat: An extremely lovable, adorable person, sometimes shy,
>with a passion for quick wit. At times, you prefer quietness. You love
>exploring various things and going into depth of each thing. Under
>normal circumstances you're cool, when given a reason to, you are like a
>volcano waiting to erupt. You're a fashion bird. People look forward to
>you as an icon associated with fashion. Basically, you mingle along
>freely but don't like talking much to strangers. People feel very easy
>in your company. You observe care in choosing your friends.
>
>
>
>If you are a Turtle: You are near to perfect and nice at heart. The
>examples of your kindness are always circulated in groups of people.
>You, too, love peace. You wouldn't like to retaliate even to a person
>who is in the wrong. You are loved due to this. You do not wish to talk
>behind one's back. People love the way you always treat them. You can
>give, give and give love, and the best part is that you do not expect it
>back in return. You are generous enough. Seeing things in a practical
>light is what remains the best trait of you guys.
>
>
>
>If you are a Dove: You symbolize a very happy-go-lucky approach in life.
>Whatever the surroundings may be, grim or cheerful, you remain
>unaffected. In fact, you spread cheer wherever you go. You are the
>leader of your group of friends and good at consoling people in their
>times of need. You dislike hypocrisy and tend to shirk away from
>hypocrites. They can never be in your good books, no matter what. You
>are very methodical and organized in your work. No amount of mess,
>hence, can ever encompass you. Beware, it is easy for you to fall in
>love....
>
>
>
>If you are a Panther: You are mysterious. You are someone who can handle
>pressure with ease, and can handle any atmosphere without going berserk.
>You can be mean at times, and love to gossip with your selected group.
>Very prim and proper. You like all situations and things to be in the
>way you desire, which, sometimes is not possible. As a result, you may
>lose out in some relationships. But otherwise, you love to help people
>out from difficult and tight spots when they really need you.
>
>
>
>If you are a Monkey: Very impatient and hyper!!! You want things to be
>done as quick as possible. At heart, you are quite simple and love if
>you are the centre of attraction. That way, you people are unique. You
>would like to keep yourself safe from all the angles. Shall your name be
>dragged or featured in any sort of a controversy, you then go all
>panicky. Therefore, you take your precautions from the very beginning.
>When you foresee anything wrong, your sixth sense is what saves you from
>falling in traps. Quite a money minded bunch you people are!!
MaryBears
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2003
- Posts
- 23,590
Dear God,
Are there mailmen in Heaven?
If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God,
How come people love to smell flowers,
but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Where are their priorities?
Dear God,
When my family eats dinner they always bless their food.
But they never bless mine. So...
I've been wagging my tail extra fast when they fill my bowl.
Have you noticed my own blessing?
Dear God,
When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch?
Or is it the same old story?
Dear God,
Excuse me, but why are their cars named after the jaguar,
the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit,
but not one named for a dog?
How often do you see a cougar riding around?
We dogs love a nice ride!
I know every breed cannot have its own model,
but it would be easy to rename the
Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler Beagle!
Dear God,
If a dog barks his head off in the forest
and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God,
If we come back as humans, is that good or bad?
Dear God,
More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God,
When we get to the Pearly Gates,
do we have to shake hands to get in?
Dear God,
Are there dogs on other planets, or are we alone?
I have been howling at the moon and stars for a long time,
but all I ever hear back is the beagle across the street!
Dear God,
Is it true that dogs are not allowed in restaurants
because we can't make up our minds what NOT to order?
Or is it that thing about carpets again?
Dear God,
The new terrier I live with just peed on the Oriental rug
and I have a feeling my family might blame me 'cuz they think
I'm jealous of this stupid dog. Since they have no sense of smell,
how can I convince them I'm innocent?
Sincerely,
the Dog
Are there mailmen in Heaven?
If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God,
How come people love to smell flowers,
but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Where are their priorities?
Dear God,
When my family eats dinner they always bless their food.
But they never bless mine. So...
I've been wagging my tail extra fast when they fill my bowl.
Have you noticed my own blessing?
Dear God,
When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch?
Or is it the same old story?
Dear God,
Excuse me, but why are their cars named after the jaguar,
the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit,
but not one named for a dog?
How often do you see a cougar riding around?
We dogs love a nice ride!
I know every breed cannot have its own model,
but it would be easy to rename the
Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler Beagle!
Dear God,
If a dog barks his head off in the forest
and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God,
If we come back as humans, is that good or bad?
Dear God,
More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God,
When we get to the Pearly Gates,
do we have to shake hands to get in?
Dear God,
Are there dogs on other planets, or are we alone?
I have been howling at the moon and stars for a long time,
but all I ever hear back is the beagle across the street!
Dear God,
Is it true that dogs are not allowed in restaurants
because we can't make up our minds what NOT to order?
Or is it that thing about carpets again?
Dear God,
The new terrier I live with just peed on the Oriental rug
and I have a feeling my family might blame me 'cuz they think
I'm jealous of this stupid dog. Since they have no sense of smell,
how can I convince them I'm innocent?
Sincerely,
the Dog
MaryBears
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2003
- Posts
- 23,590
Sports Commentator Bloopers
Alan Minter-
"Sure, there have been deaths in boxing, but none of them serious."
Winston Bennett-
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."
Metro Radio-
"Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field"
David Acfield-
"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seems to hang in the air for even longer."
US PGA Commentator-
"One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them....
Oh my god!!!!! What have I just said?!!!!"
Alan Minter-
"Sure, there have been deaths in boxing, but none of them serious."
Winston Bennett-
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."
Metro Radio-
"Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field"
David Acfield-
"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seems to hang in the air for even longer."
US PGA Commentator-
"One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them....
Oh my god!!!!! What have I just said?!!!!"
MaryBears
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2003
- Posts
- 23,590
Sports Commentator Bloopers
Alan Minter-
"Sure, there have been deaths in boxing, but none of them serious."
Winston Bennett-
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."
Metro Radio-
"Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field"
David Acfield-
"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seems to hang in the air for even longer."
US PGA Commentator-
"One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them....
Oh my god!!!!! What have I just said?!!!!"
Alan Minter-
"Sure, there have been deaths in boxing, but none of them serious."
Winston Bennett-
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."
Metro Radio-
"Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field"
David Acfield-
"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seems to hang in the air for even longer."
US PGA Commentator-
"One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them....
Oh my god!!!!! What have I just said?!!!!"
Jaybird3
Lustily burning for .....
- Joined
- Sep 5, 2003
- Posts
- 1,086
Top Ten Signs the Person Answering the Butterball Turkey Hotline is Nuts
10. Starts out by asking, "What are you wearing?"
9. Keeps referring to product called "Vicks Vap-O-Gravy"
8. Recommends thawing the turkey in your pants
7. Wants you to look inside the turkey for contact lens he lost at the processing plant
6. When you ask, "How often should I baste it?" he says, "Are we still talking about the turkey?"
5. Tells you that when the timer pops up, you have ten seconds before the dam thing explodes
4. Insists you cook turkey at six degrees for 450 hours
3. Keeps interrupting to ask if you're planning to eat the bird or wear it as a hat
2. Claims to have sailed from New York to the Bahamas in a gravy boat
1. He tells you to go stuff yourself
10. Starts out by asking, "What are you wearing?"
9. Keeps referring to product called "Vicks Vap-O-Gravy"
8. Recommends thawing the turkey in your pants
7. Wants you to look inside the turkey for contact lens he lost at the processing plant
6. When you ask, "How often should I baste it?" he says, "Are we still talking about the turkey?"
5. Tells you that when the timer pops up, you have ten seconds before the dam thing explodes
4. Insists you cook turkey at six degrees for 450 hours
3. Keeps interrupting to ask if you're planning to eat the bird or wear it as a hat
2. Claims to have sailed from New York to the Bahamas in a gravy boat
1. He tells you to go stuff yourself
Jaybird3
Lustily burning for .....
- Joined
- Sep 5, 2003
- Posts
- 1,086
If you are a Lion: Quite contradictory to your name, you are a peace loving person. You best try to avoid a situation wherein you are required to fight. An outdoor person, you dislike sitting at one place for a long duration. You are a born leader, and have it in you how to tactfully derive work from people. You love being loved, and when you receive your share of limelight from someone, you are all theirs!!!!
Well, well... hence some people could even take an advantage, flatter you to the maximum and get their work done. So be careful.....
Those are really close and thanks for them all MaryBears...I enjoyed those.
Well, well... hence some people could even take an advantage, flatter you to the maximum and get their work done. So be careful.....
Those are really close and thanks for them all MaryBears...I enjoyed those.
Puddin36
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 13, 2001
- Posts
- 1,853
A GREAT SUCCESS
Just wanted to let everyone know that the surgery was a great success. The first procedure worked (shock waves), so I have no incisions. Felt really good afterwards, but as the night goes on, having some pain on my right side and a very sore throat. They didn't have tube down my throat so I'm not sure why it is so sore.
I have been passing tiny fragments of the stone since I got home, so looks like things are going as planned. I go back in a month to have more x-rays to make sure that they got it all.
Again.........thanks to everyone for all their support and prayers....
words can't express how much they mean to me.
I fall under the Cat category.........and I was shocked at how close the similarities are.........almost scary.........lol!!!!
Hope everyone had a great day and a great Friday as well. I'm looking forward to the weekend. I have no plans other than to take it easy as I return to work on Monday.
Hugs and Licks and
's and 
'es to all.........Puddin
Just wanted to let everyone know that the surgery was a great success. The first procedure worked (shock waves), so I have no incisions. Felt really good afterwards, but as the night goes on, having some pain on my right side and a very sore throat. They didn't have tube down my throat so I'm not sure why it is so sore.
I have been passing tiny fragments of the stone since I got home, so looks like things are going as planned. I go back in a month to have more x-rays to make sure that they got it all.
Again.........thanks to everyone for all their support and prayers....
words can't express how much they mean to me.
I fall under the Cat category.........and I was shocked at how close the similarities are.........almost scary.........lol!!!!
Hope everyone had a great day and a great Friday as well. I'm looking forward to the weekend. I have no plans other than to take it easy as I return to work on Monday.
Hugs and Licks and
's and 'es to all.........Puddin
PassionsFlame
erotic mischief
- Joined
- Jun 14, 2003
- Posts
- 11,701
Re: A GREAT SUCCESS
that is great Puddin!!! *hugs* you may be sore as anesthesia wears off, but you go ahead and take it easy~ I am so happy it went so well!!Puddin36 said:Just wanted to let everyone know that the surgery was a great success. The first procedure worked (shock waves), so I have no incisions. Felt really good afterwards, but as the night goes on, having some pain on my right side and a very sore throat. They didn't have tube down my throat so I'm not sure why it is so sore.
I have been passing tiny fragments of the stone since I got home, so looks like things are going as planned. I go back in a month to have more x-rays to make sure that they got it all.
Again.........thanks to everyone for all their support and prayers....
words can't express how much they mean to me.
I fall under the Cat category.........and I was shocked at how close the similarities are.........almost scary.........lol!!!!
Hope everyone had a great day and a great Friday as well. I'm looking forward to the weekend. I have no plans other than to take it easy as I return to work on Monday.
Hugs and Licks and
Puddin36
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 13, 2001
- Posts
- 1,853
Re: Re: A GREAT SUCCESS
Hugs.........Puddin
PF.............thanks so much for everything. I knew that all my friends here were thinking of me and that made me feel so good before the procedure. I trully care for all the friends that I have met here on this board.PassionsFlame said:
Hugs.........Puddin
MaryBears
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2003
- Posts
- 23,590
Re: A GREAT SUCCESS
and hugs for you....I am so glad that it went as planned.....now just take it easy......have a very relaxing yet fun weekend
{{{{{{puddin}}}}}}}Puddin36 said:Just wanted to let everyone know that the surgery was a great success. The first procedure worked (shock waves), so I have no incisions. Felt really good afterwards, but as the night goes on, having some pain on my right side and a very sore throat. They didn't have tube down my throat so I'm not sure why it is so sore.
I have been passing tiny fragments of the stone since I got home, so looks like things are going as planned. I go back in a month to have more x-rays to make sure that they got it all.
Again.........thanks to everyone for all their support and prayers....
words can't express how much they mean to me.
I fall under the Cat category.........and I was shocked at how close the similarities are.........almost scary.........lol!!!!
Hope everyone had a great day and a great Friday as well. I'm looking forward to the weekend. I have no plans other than to take it easy as I return to work on Monday.
Hugs and Licks and
and hugs for you....I am so glad that it went as planned.....now just take it easy......have a very relaxing yet fun weekend
PassionsFlame
erotic mischief
- Joined
- Jun 14, 2003
- Posts
- 11,701
Re: Re: Re: A GREAT SUCCESS
Loved your web pages too! I need to find some good jokes to share~ but I love reading them too. Have a super night yourself and take care~ I hope things are going well
{{{{Mary}}}} I love hugsMaryBears said:
Loved your web pages too! I need to find some good jokes to share~ but I love reading them too. Have a super night yourself and take care~ I hope things are going well
Puddin36
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 13, 2001
- Posts
- 1,853
Re: Re: A GREAT SUCCESS
Hugs and Kisses..........Puddin
Thanks so much MaryBears........I am relieved that it is all over and went so well. I plan on having a nice relaxing weekend with my kids. Hope you are having a good night Mary. If I don't get a chance to talk to you before the weekend........have a great one.MaryBears said:{{{{{{puddin}}}}}}}
Hugs and Kisses..........Puddin
MaryBears
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2003
- Posts
- 23,590
Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my illness, I always sense my boss thinks I am lying. On one occasion, I had a valid reason, but lied anyway because the truth was too humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury and I hoped I would feel like coming in the next day. By then, I thought, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on my crown. The accident occurred mainly because I conceded to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty. Initially, the new acquisition was no problem, but one morning I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen. "Ed!! The> garbage disposal is dead. Come and reset it." "You know where the button is," I protested through the shower. "Reset it yourself!" "I am scared!" she pleaded. "what if it starts going and sucks me in?" (Pause) "C'mon, it'll only take you a second." So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping to make a statement about how cowardly behaviour was not without consequence. I crouched down and stuck my head under the sink to find the button. It is the last action I remember performing.
It struck without warning, without any respect to my circumstances. Nay, it wasn't a hexed disposal drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It was our new kitty, clawing playfully at the dangling objects she spied between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I took the bait under the sink. At precisely the second I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws. I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, while rising upwardly at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten hanging from my masculine region. Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome.
Men, in this predicament, choose only the "flight" option.
Fleeing straight up, the sink and cabinet bluntly impeded my ascent; the impact knocked me out cold. When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me.
Having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics snorted as they tried to conduct their work while suppressing hysterical laughter. At the office, my colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about.
"What's the matter, cat got your tongue?"
If they had only known
It struck without warning, without any respect to my circumstances. Nay, it wasn't a hexed disposal drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It was our new kitty, clawing playfully at the dangling objects she spied between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I took the bait under the sink. At precisely the second I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws. I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, while rising upwardly at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten hanging from my masculine region. Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome.
Men, in this predicament, choose only the "flight" option.
Fleeing straight up, the sink and cabinet bluntly impeded my ascent; the impact knocked me out cold. When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me.
Having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics snorted as they tried to conduct their work while suppressing hysterical laughter. At the office, my colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about.
"What's the matter, cat got your tongue?"
If they had only known
PassionsFlame
erotic mischief
- Joined
- Jun 14, 2003
- Posts
- 11,701
this is probably something only a woman could laugh at~ So here goes:MaryBears said:
HAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA
Sorry guys!!!!!!!
kayte
This Was My Favorite Toy
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2002
- Posts
- 135,693
Re: A GREAT SUCCESS
{{{{{{{{{{Puddin}}}}}}}}}
I am so happy to hear of the success of the procedure!!! Yippee!!!!
Please take care of yourself this weekend. Spoil yourself.
Keeping you in my prayers!!!!
Puddin36 said:Just wanted to let everyone know that the surgery was a great success. The first procedure worked (shock waves), so I have no incisions. Felt really good afterwards, but as the night goes on, having some pain on my right side and a very sore throat. They didn't have tube down my throat so I'm not sure why it is so sore.
I have been passing tiny fragments of the stone since I got home, so looks like things are going as planned. I go back in a month to have more x-rays to make sure that they got it all.
Again.........thanks to everyone for all their support and prayers....
words can't express how much they mean to me.
I fall under the Cat category.........and I was shocked at how close the similarities are.........almost scary.........lol!!!!
Hope everyone had a great day and a great Friday as well. I'm looking forward to the weekend. I have no plans other than to take it easy as I return to work on Monday.
Hugs and Licks and
{{{{{{{{{{Puddin}}}}}}}}}
I am so happy to hear of the success of the procedure!!! Yippee!!!!
Please take care of yourself this weekend. Spoil yourself.
Keeping you in my prayers!!!!
MaryBears
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2003
- Posts
- 23,590
{{{{{{{{{Hugs everyone}}}}}}}}} here is a good one......:|
It's time once again to review the winners of the annual "Stella Awards".
The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonalds. That case inspired the Stella awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States.
Unfortunately the most recent lawsuit implicating McDonalds, the teens who allege that eating at McDonalds has made them fat, was filed after the 2002 award voting was closed. This suit will top the 2003 list without question.
The following are this year's winners:
5th Place (tie):
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms.Robertson's son.
5th Place (tie):
A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.
5th Place (tie):
Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.
4th Place:
Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.
3rd Place:
A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
2nd Place:
Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.
1st Place:
This year's run away winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, (from an OU football game), having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the R.V. left the freeway, crashed and overturned.. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manual that he couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home.
The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons buying their recreation vehicles.
It's time once again to review the winners of the annual "Stella Awards".
The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonalds. That case inspired the Stella awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States.
Unfortunately the most recent lawsuit implicating McDonalds, the teens who allege that eating at McDonalds has made them fat, was filed after the 2002 award voting was closed. This suit will top the 2003 list without question.
The following are this year's winners:
5th Place (tie):
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms.Robertson's son.
5th Place (tie):
A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.
5th Place (tie):
Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.
4th Place:
Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.
3rd Place:
A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
2nd Place:
Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.
1st Place:
This year's run away winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, (from an OU football game), having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the R.V. left the freeway, crashed and overturned.. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manual that he couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home.
The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons buying their recreation vehicles.
MaryBears
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2003
- Posts
- 23,590
Widdle Wabbits
A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp,
"Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"
As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he's on her level, and asks,
"Do you want a widdle white wabbit or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabbit or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?"
She, in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice,
"I don't think my pet python weally gives a thit."
A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp,
"Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"
As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he's on her level, and asks,
"Do you want a widdle white wabbit or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabbit or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?"
She, in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice,
"I don't think my pet python weally gives a thit."
cuddlybear1970
Experienced
- Joined
- Aug 13, 2003
- Posts
- 59
Glad you are doing ok, Puddin !!!!!
And yes, there are guys that can laugh at the kitten and the poor nude guy. I rolled off of my chair with laughter. But I also have another one,
My wife got two kittens shortly after we had our second daughter, and one night she convinced them to sleep in the bed with us, when low and behold, she jumps straight up out of the bed. It seems that the kittens weren't quite weened away from milk, and well......... they took what they believed to be offered.
And yes, there are guys that can laugh at the kitten and the poor nude guy. I rolled off of my chair with laughter. But I also have another one,
My wife got two kittens shortly after we had our second daughter, and one night she convinced them to sleep in the bed with us, when low and behold, she jumps straight up out of the bed. It seems that the kittens weren't quite weened away from milk, and well......... they took what they believed to be offered.
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