The Bears Den

[kayte]

Time

To realize
The value of a sister:
Ask someone
Who doesn't have one.

To realize
The value of ten years:
Ask a newly
Divorced couple.

To realize
The value of four years:
Ask a graduate.

To realize
The value of one year:
Ask a student who
Has failed a final exam.

To realize
The value of nine months:
Ask a mother who gave birth to a still born.

To realize
The value of one month:
Ask a mother
who has given birth to
A premature baby.

To realize
The value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize
The value of one hour:
Ask the lovers who are waiting to Meet.

To realize
The value of one minute:
Ask a person
Who has missed the train, bus or plane.

To realize
The value of one-second:
Ask a person
Who has survived an accident.

To realize
The value of one millisecond:
Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics.

Time waits for no one.

Treasure every moment you have.
You will treasure it even more when
you can share it with someone special.

To realize the value of a friend:
Lose one.

 

[kayte]

Another one

This was in my email this morning!! I love the last one. They may be on to something.


17 Truths

1. Men are like slinkies...not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

2. I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and think, "Well, that's not going to happen".

3. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

4. The other night I ate at a really nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.

5. Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder in the car these days no one talks about seeing UFO's like they used to?

6. You know when you're sitting on a chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs then you lean too far and you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time.

7. According to a recent survey, men say that the first thing they notice about a woman are their eyes. And women say that the first thing they notice about men is that they're a bunch of liars.

8. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

9. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

10. Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?

11. I'm not 40-something. I'm $39.95, plus shipping and handling.

12. In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world IS weird and people take Prozac to make it seem normal.

13. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

14. There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable; there is another theory which states that this has already happened.

15. How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

16. Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an appointment, and he says, "I wish you'd have come to me sooner."

17. You read about all these terrorists -- most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a video and those people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration.

 

[kayte]

One more!!!

Waking Up for Church

One Sunday morning, a mother went in to wake her son and tell him it was time to get ready for church, to which he replied, "I'm not going."

"Why not?" she asked.

"I'll give you two good reasons," he said. "One, they don't like me, and two, I don't like them."

His mother replied, "I'll give YOU two good reasons why you SHOULD go to church. One, you're 54 years old, and two, you're the pastor!"

 

[MaryBears]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{GROUP HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} sorry.......i am so tired and i am still not got the computer completely set up.......So I hope a group hug is good enough.....Thanks for the jokes....and thanks for understanding all

 

[Puddin36]

Good morning {{{{{Puddin}}}} Hope your night was a good one. Computers are good things, but when they crash, Shudders.

Have a marvelous Monday!!!

{{{{{{{{{{{{{kayte}}}}}}}}}}}} Nice to see you again and all your jokes and stories were delightful. My night was okay.......just hung around for a while and then watched some TV. I'm glad that the weekend and today are done, it was a long weekend for me. Now I have 2 days off, so I am happy. Have a great Tuesday.



Huggles to all..........Puddin

 

[Puddin36]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{GROUP HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} sorry.......i am so tired and i am still not got the computer completely set up.......So I hope a group hug is good enough.....Thanks for the jokes....and thanks for understanding all

{{{{{{{{{{{{{MaryBears}}}}}}}}}}}}} The group hug was good for me.........hope it was good for you too. Glad that you have your pc up and running again, good luck with what you have left to do. Take care and talk to you again soon.





Huggles to all.........Puddin

 

[MaryBears]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{MaryBears}}}}}}}}}}}}} The group hug was good for me.........hope it was good for you too. Glad that you have your pc up and running again, good luck with what you have left to do. Take care and talk to you again soon.





Huggles to all.........Puddin

{{{{{{{{{Puddin}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} hope your doing well today.....Thanks for stopping in and for all your support....I hope and pray that you have a warm, healthy and safe day

 

[kayte]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{GROUP HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} sorry.......i am so tired and i am still not got the computer completely set up.......So I hope a group hug is good enough.....Thanks for the jokes....and thanks for understanding all

Good afternoon {{{{{{{{{{{Mary}}}}}}} The group *hug* was delightful. Thank you.

Hope you get the 'puter all sorted out soon sweetie.

 

[kayte]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{kayte}}}}}}}}}}}} Nice to see you again and all your jokes and stories were delightful. My night was okay.......just hung around for a while and then watched some TV. I'm glad that the weekend and today are done, it was a long weekend for me. Now I have 2 days off, so I am happy. Have a great Tuesday.



Huggles to all..........Puddin

Good afternoon {{{{{{Puddin}}}} Glad you enjoyed the stories and jokes. It is feast or famine finding or getting them.

Great to hear you have some time off. Hope you spoil yourself silly.

 

[MaryBears]

Good afternoon {{{{{{{{{{{Mary}}}}}}} The group *hug* was delightful. Thank you.

Hope you get the 'puter all sorted out soon sweetie.

{{{{{{{{{Katye}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Your quit welcome......And thanks for all the well wishes.....the computer is coming along but it still has some problems.....it is just really frustrating.....

 

[MaryBears]

Son-in-law




The Vibrator


As a mother passed her daughter's closed bedroom door; she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter giving herself a real workout with a vibrator. Shocked, she asked, "What in the world are you doing?" The daughter replied, "Mom, I'm thirty-five years old,
unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone."

The next day, the girl's father heard the same buzz coming from the other side of the closed bedroom door. Upon entering the room, he observed his daughter making passionate love to her vibrator. To his query as to what she was doing, the daughter said, "Dad, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband! Please, go away and leave me alone."

A couple days later, the wife came home from a shopping trip, placed the groceries on the kitchen counter, and heard that buzzing noise coming from, of all places, the family room. She entered that area and observed her husband sitting on the
couch, staring at the TV. The vibrator was next to him on the couch, buzzing like crazy. The wife asked, "What the hell are you doing?" The husband replied, "I'm watching the ball game with my son-in-law."

 

[MaryBears]

These three women go down to Mexico one night, get drunk, and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before.

The first one, a brunette, is strapped in the electric chair, and is asked if she has any last words. She says, "I am from the Baylor School of Divinity, and I believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent."

They throw the switch and nothing happens, so they figure God must not want this woman to die, and they let her go.

The second one, a redhead, is strapped in and gives her last words, "I am from the University of Tennessee School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent."

They throw the switch and again, nothing happens. They figure that the law is on this woman's side, so they let her go.

The last one, a blonde, is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm a
University of Florida Electrical Engineer, and I'll tell you right now, you ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't connect those two wires right there."

 

[PassionsFlame]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{PF}}}}}}}}}}}} Glad that you too like the AV. Seems most people do. I'm glad that the weekend is over, only because I had to work all weekend. It was actually a nice day as far as weather here, got up to 40 degrees, almost balmy. LOL

Hope that you had a good weekend PF and glad to see you posting again.



Huggles to all...........Puddin

{{{{{{{{{{ Puddin }}}}}}}}}} You had to work all weekend...? Do you get to rest now? Hope so!

Was 40- I am soooooo jealous... but today was niceer than it has been... above 20 and sunny.

Had an okay weekend and week is moving along at top speed LOL... Glad to be back too~ I luvs you all!!!!

Take care and be bad

 

[kayte]

Son-in-law




The Vibrator


As a mother passed her daughter's closed bedroom door; she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter giving herself a real workout with a vibrator. Shocked, she asked, "What in the world are you doing?" The daughter replied, "Mom, I'm thirty-five years old,
unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone."

The next day, the girl's father heard the same buzz coming from the other side of the closed bedroom door. Upon entering the room, he observed his daughter making passionate love to her vibrator. To his query as to what she was doing, the daughter said, "Dad, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband! Please, go away and leave me alone."

A couple days later, the wife came home from a shopping trip, placed the groceries on the kitchen counter, and heard that buzzing noise coming from, of all places, the family room. She entered that area and observed her husband sitting on the
couch, staring at the TV. The vibrator was next to him on the couch, buzzing like crazy. The wife asked, "What the hell are you doing?" The husband replied, "I'm watching the ball game with my son-in-law."

OMG!!!!! LMAO!!!!


That one really needs a *Spew Alert*

 

[kayte]

These three women go down to Mexico one night, get drunk, and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before.

The first one, a brunette, is strapped in the electric chair, and is asked if she has any last words. She says, "I am from the Baylor School of Divinity, and I believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent."

They throw the switch and nothing happens, so they figure God must not want this woman to die, and they let her go.

The second one, a redhead, is strapped in and gives her last words, "I am from the University of Tennessee School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent."

They throw the switch and again, nothing happens. They figure that the law is on this woman's side, so they let her go.

The last one, a blonde, is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm a
University of Florida Electrical Engineer, and I'll tell you right now, you ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't connect those two wires right there."

LMAO!!!!!!

 

[PassionsFlame]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{GROUP HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}


Thanks so much for all the well wishes.....I finally got the computer formatted and the major things installed.....Will be working alot tomorrow on installing the rest.....Going to finsh reading emails and then lay my head down to rest....

Good night and sweet loving dreams.....

{{{{{{{{{{ Mary }}}}}}}}}} Sooooo glad you got things fixed... glad to see you back Hope you had a good night and rest!!!! Take care!

 

[Puddin36]

{{{{{{{{{{ Puddin }}}}}}}}}} You had to work all weekend...? Do you get to rest now? Hope so!

Was 40- I am soooooo jealous... but today was niceer than it has been... above 20 and sunny.

Had an okay weekend and week is moving along at top speed LOL... Glad to be back too~ I luvs you all!!!!

Take care and be bad

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{PF}}}}}}}}}}} Yes I get two days off now and hope to get some housework done. Spent this afternoon reformatting a friends pc and then downloading some programs. Pretty proud of myself, his pc works mych better now. Good to hear that you had an okay weekend and that your week is off to a good start. Hmmmmmmmm........take care and be bad..........sounds like a great idea!!!!!!


Happy HUMPless Day to one and all..............Puddin

 

[Puddin36]

{{{{{{{{{{{{MaryBears}}}}}}}}}}}}} Good to see you back and that things are working for you. I spent about 3 hours reformatting a friends pc and reloading some programs.........pretty happy with myself as his pc seems to be working like new again. Hope you had a restful day and we'll talk again soon.





Happy HUMPless Day to one and all.............Puddin

 

[Puddin36]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{kayte}}}}}}}}}}}}

Nice to see you as well. Some great jokes here on the board again today. Hope you had a great day.


Happy HUMPless day to one and all..............Puddin

 

[MaryBears]

{{{{{{{{{{{{MaryBears}}}}}}}}}}}}} Good to see you back and that things are working for you. I spent about 3 hours reformatting a friends pc and reloading some programs.........pretty happy with myself as his pc seems to be working like new again. Hope you had a restful day and we'll talk again soon.





Happy HUMPless Day to one and all.............Puddin

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{puddin}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} thanks hun......THOUGHT I had everything working.....Damn sound.....it was working had to restart and it works when i sign on but the minute i connect to the internet I lose my sound.......Damn it all to hell....It really is pissing me off

 

[Puddin36]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{puddin}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} thanks hun......THOUGHT I had everything working.....Damn sound.....it was working had to restart and it works when i sign on but the minute i connect to the internet I lose my sound.......Damn it all to hell....It really is pissing me off

Sorry to hear that you are still having problems. I was very lucky and everything went pretty smoothly. Having no sound can be a pain in a**. Hope u get it figured out. When I get really frustrated with problem like that, I walk away for a bit and then come back and with any luck, you will be able to solve the problem. Wishing you luck MaryBears.



Happy HUMPless day to one and all............Puddin

 

[MaryBears]

Sorry to hear that you are still having problems. I was very lucky and everything went pretty smoothly. Having no sound can be a pain in a**. Hope u get it figured out. When I get really frustrated with problem like that, I walk away for a bit and then come back and with any luck, you will be able to solve the problem. Wishing you luck MaryBears.



Happy HUMPless day to one and all............Puddin

I do believe my friend and I figured it out......We had the wrong modem drivers in.....I had sound until i connected then once i connected I didn't have it....Yippie I HAVE SOUND.

 

[kayte]

I do believe my friend and I figured it out......We had the wrong modem drivers in.....I had sound until i connected then once i connected I didn't have it....Yippie I HAVE SOUND.

Yippee!!!!!! So glad to hear it is working {{{{{{{{{{{{{{Mary}}}}}}}}}}}}}]

Hope you have a great day!!!


HAPPY HUMP DAY!!!

 

[kayte]

Safety

You may have all seen this, but repetition is good!!

As women, I guess we can never be too safe, so I am forwarding this on. After reading, forward it to someone you care about!

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!

2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans:

If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you. Chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you ,and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, dating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON'T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE!

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
A.) Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat.
B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
C.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or
work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out.
IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs.(Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).

7. If the predator has a gun, and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, a well educated man,who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked "for help" not his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim. > > >

Another Safety Point : Crying Baby

Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late, and she thought it was weird.The police told her
"Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door." The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, "We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT open the door." He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby's cries outside their doors when they're home alone at night.

This should probably be taken seriously because the Crying Baby theory was mentioned on America's Most Wanted this past Saturday when they profiled the serial killer in Louisiana.

I'd like you to forward this to all the women you know. It may save a life. A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle. I was going to send this to the ladies only, but guys, if you love your mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, etc., you may want to pass it onto them, as well.

Let's stay safe!

 

[kayte]

Chuckle

And now a short chuckle!!

Curious George

One day the zoo-keeper noticed that the monkey was reading two books—the Bible and Darwin's "The Origin of Species." In surprise he asked the monkey, "Why are you reading both those books?"

"Well," said the monkey, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."