The Bears Den

[MaryBears]

Good morning {{{{{{{{{{Mary}}}}}}}}}

Thank you so much for the Angle Dust link. That is marvelous and a wonderful thing to see as I wake up.

Good Morning {{{{{{{{{{{{{Kayte}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}


I am glad that you enjoyed it....I know I really enjoyed it....Makes me appreciate the small things in life.

 

[MaryBears]

NO WAY WOULD I DO THIS http://66.115.136.60/media-ploop/pictures/none/32720.ooch.jpg

 

[kayte]

Good Morning {{{{{{{{{{{{{Kayte}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}


I am glad that you enjoyed it....I know I really enjoyed it....Makes me appreciate the small things in life.

Oh yes, so very much.

Hope your evening is going well. Looks like the snow quit here. The problem is it got icy underneath and with the temps being 12 and dropping, the salt doesn't do too much to melt it....

Glad I am staying in.

 

[MaryBears]

Oh yes, so very much.

Hope your evening is going well. Looks like the snow quit here. The problem is it got icy underneath and with the temps being 12 and dropping, the salt doesn't do too much to melt it....

Glad I am staying in.

{{{{{{{{{{{Kayte}}}}}}}}}}}} my evening has been pretty good.....

It is cold here.....With snow flurries....BUT BRRRRRRRRRR.....my body wants warm weather....but have to go with the flow

 

[PassionsFlame]

Want to say hello to everyone and wish you all well *huugggggggs* Ihave not been feeling well and busy... so not posting as much... but may have time this weekend to relax and have some *ME* time. My best to all and hope to maybe catch up on the jokes

 

[MaryBears]

Want to say hello to everyone and wish you all well *huugggggggs* Ihave not been feeling well and busy... so not posting as much... but may have time this weekend to relax and have some *ME* time. My best to all and hope to maybe catch up on the jokes

((((((((((((((Passions)))))))))))))))))))))))) take care of yourself.....don't over do it.....Stop and smell the roses and have "me" time or you will suffer in the long run....all work and no play does not pay off in the end....I know done that been there

 

[MaryBears]

How they have SEX........

ACCOUNTANTS are good with figures.

ACTORS do it on cue.

ADVERTISERS use the "new, improved" method.

AMBULANCE DRIVERS come quicker.

ANSI does it in the standard way

ARCHEOLOGISTS like it old.

ARCHITECTS have great plans.

ARTISTS are exhibitionists.

ASSEMBLY LINE WORKERS do it over and over.

ASTRONOMERS do it with Uranus.

ATTORNEYS make better motions.

AUDITORS like to examine figures.

BABYSITTERS charge by the hour.

BAILIFFS always come to order.

BAKERS knead it daily.

BAND MEMBERS play all night.

BANKERS do it with interest - penalty for early withdrawal.

BARBERS do it with shear pleasure.

BARTENDERS do it on the rocks.

BASEBALL PLAYERS make it to first base.

BASKETBALL PLAYERS score more often.

BEEKEEPERS like to eat their honey.

BEER BREWERS do it with more hops.

BEER DRINKERS get more head.

BICYCLISTS do it with 10 speeds.

BOOKKEEPERS do it with double entry.

BOSSES delegate the task to others.

BOWLERS have bigger balls.

BRICKLAYERS lay all day.

BRIDGE PLAYERS try to get a rubber.

BUS DRIVERS come early and pull out on time.

BUTCHERS have better meat.

C'Bers do it on the air.

CAMPERS do it in a tent.

CARPENTERS hammer it harder.

CARPET LAYERS do it on the floor.

CHEERLEADERS do it with more enthusiasm.

CHEMISTS like to experiment.

CHESS PLAYERS check their mates.

CHIROPRACTORS do it by manipulation.

CLOCK MAKERS do it mechanically.

CLOWNS do it for laughs.

COACHES whistle while they work.

COBOL PROGRAMMERS do it with bugs.

COCKTAIL WAITRESSES serve highballs.

COMPUTER GAME PLAYERS just can't stop.

COMPUTER OPERATORS get the most out of their software.

CONSTRUCTION WORKERS lay a better foundation.

CONSULTANTS tell other how to do it.

COPS have bigger guns.

COWBOYS handle anything horny.

COWGIRLS like to ride bareback.

CRANE OPERATORS have swinging balls.

CREDIT MANAGERS always collect.

DANCERS do it in leaps and bounds.

DEADHEADS do it with Jerry.

DEER HUNTERS will do anything for a buck.

DENTAL HYGIENISTS do it till it hurts.

DENTISTS do it in your mouth.

DETECTIVES do it under cover.

DIETICIANS eat better.

DIRECT MAILERS get it in the sack.

DIVERS do it deeper.

DOCTORS do it with patience.

DRUGGISTS fill your prescription.

DRUMMERS do it in 4/4 time.

DRY WALLER'S are better bangers.

ELECTRICIANS check your shorts.

ENGINEERS charge by the hour.

EXECUTIVES have large staffs.

FARMERS spread it around.

FIREMEN are always in heat.

FISHERMEN are proud of their rods.

FOOTBALL PLAYERS are measured by the yard.

FOUR-WHEELERS eat more bush.

FURRIERS appreciate good beaver.

GARBAGE MEN come once a week.

GARDENERS have 50 foot hoses.

GAS STATION ATTENDANTS pump all day.

GEOLOGISTS are great explorers.

GOLFERS do it in 18 holes.

GYMNASTS mount and dismount well.

HACKERS do it with fewer instructions.

HAIRDRESSERS give the best blow jobs.

HAM OPERATORS do it with frequency.

HANDYMEN like good screws.

HEWLETT PACKARD does it with precision.

HORSEBACK RIDERS stay in the saddle longer.

HUNTERS do it with a bang.

INSURANCE SALESMEN are premium lovers.

INTERIOR DECORATORS do it all over the house.

INVENTORS find a way.

JANITORS clean up afterwards.

JEWELERS mount real gems.

JOGGERS do it on the run.

LANDSCAPERS plant it deeper.

LAWYERS do it in their briefs.

LIBRARIANS do it quietly.

LOCKSMITHS can get into anything.

LONG DISTANCE RUNNERS last longer.

MACHINISTS make the best screws.

MAGICIANS are quicker than the eye.

MAINTENANCE MEN sweep 'em off their feet.

MANAGERS supervise others.

MARKETING REPs do it on commission.

MILKMEN deliver twice a week.

MILLIONAIRES pay to have it done.

MINERS sink deeper shafts.

MINISTERS do it on Sundays.

MISSILE MEN have better thrust.

MODELS do it in any position.

MODEM MANUFACTURERS do it with all sorts of characters.

MOTORCYCLISTS like something hot between their legs.

MOVIE STARS do it on film.

MUSICIANS do it with rhythm.

NONSMOKERS do it without huffing and puffing.

NURSES call the shots.

OCEANOGRAPHERS do it down under.

OPERATORS do it person-to-person.

OPTOMETRISTS do it face-to-face.

PAINTERS do it with longer strokes.

PARAMEDICS PHOTOGRAPHERS do it with a flash.

PHYSICISTS do it with uniform harmonic motion.

PILOTS keep it up longer.

PLUMBERS do it under the sink.

POLICEMEN like big busts.

POLITICIANS do it for 4 years then have to get re-erected.

POSTMEN come slower.

PRINTERS do it without wrinkling the sheets.

PRINTERS reproduce the fastest.

PROCTOLOGISTS do it in the end.

PROFESSORS do it by the book.

RACERS like to come in first.

RACQUETBALL PLAYERS do it off the wall..

RADIO and TV ANNOUNCERS broadcast it.

REAL ESTATE PEOPLE know all the prime spots.

RECYCLERS use it again.

REPAIRMEN can fix anything.

REPORTERS do it daily.

RESEARCHERS are still looking for it.

RETAILERS move their merchandise.

ROOFERS do it on top.

RUNNERS get into more pants.

SAILORS like to be blown.

SALESPEOPLE have away with their tongues.

SCIENTISTS discovered it.

SECRETARIES do it from 9 to 5.

SKYDIVERS are good till the last drop.

SOCCER PLAYERS have leather balls.

SPEECH PATHOLOGISTS are oral specialists.

SPELUNKERS do it underground.

SPORTSCASTERS like an instant replay.

STEWARDESSES do it in the air.

STUDENTS use their heads.

SURGEONS are smooth operators.

TAILORS make it fit.

TAXI DRIVERS do it all over town.

TAXIDERMISTS mount anything.

TELEPHONE CO. EMPLOYEES let their fingers do the walking.

TELLERS can handle all deposits and withdrawals.

TENNIS PLAYERS have fuzzy balls.

TRUCK DRIVERS have bigger dipsticks.

TRUCKERS carry bigger loads.

TYPISTS do it in triplicate.

VETERINARIANS are pussy lovers.

VOLLEYBALL PLAYERS keep it up.

WAITRESSES serve it piping hot.

WATER SKIERS come down harder.

WELDERS have hotter rods.

WRESTLERS know the best holds.

WRITERS have novel ways.

ZOOLOGISTS do it with animal instinct.

 

[MaryBears]

You can learn a lot from reading the graffiti in a bathroom, library or other public area...

The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.
* Women's rest room, Murphy's, Champaign, Ill.

If you voted for Clinton in the last election, you can't take a dump here. Your asshole is in Washington.
* Men's rest room, Outback Steakhouse, Tacoma, Wash.

Beauty is only a light switch away.
* Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, N.C.

If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted and have the time of our lives.
* Armand's Pizza, Washington, D.C.

Remember, it's not "How high are you?", it's "Hi, how are you?"
* Rest stop off Route 81, W. VA.

God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust?
* The Irish Times, Washington, D.C.

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
* The Bayou, Baton Rouge, La.

No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit.
* Men's rest room, Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, N.C.

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
* Written in the dust on the back of a bus,
Wickenburg, Ariz.

A woman's rule of thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.
* Women's rest room, Dick's Last Resort, Dallas, Tex.

Watch out for gay limbo dancers.
* Inside toilet stall door, men's rest room?

Express Lane: Five beers or less.
* Sign over one of the urinals, Ed Debevic's,
Phoenix, Ariz.

You're too good for him.
* Sign over mirror in women's rest room, Ed
Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA

No wonder you always go home alone.
* Sign over mirror in men's rest room, Ed Debevic's,
Beverly Hills, CA

What are you looking up on the wall for? The joke is in your hands.
* Men's rest room, Lynagh's, Lexington, Ky

 

[kayte]

{{{{{{{{{{{Mary}}}}}}}}}}} Darlin, those posts of yours are so funny!! Thank you for sharing them with us.

Hope your weekend has been going well!!!

Here is a little something from a friend of mine, to all my friends here.

A Friend....

(A)accepts you as you are
(B)elieves in "you"
(C)alls you just to say "HI"
(D)oesn't give up ! ! on you

(E)nvisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts)
(F)orgives your mistakes
(G)ives unconditionally
(H)elps you
(I)nvites you over

(J)ust "be" with you
(K)eeps you close at heart
(L)oves you for who you are
(M)akes a difference in your life

(N)ever Judges
(O)ffer support
(P)icks you up
(Q)uiets your fears
(R)aises your spirits

(S)ays nice things about you
(T)ells you the truth when you need to hear it
(U)nderstands you
(V)alues you

(W)alks beside you
(X)-plains thing you don't understand
(Y)ells when you won't listen and
(Z)aps you back to reality

 

[MaryBears]

{{{{{{{{{{{Mary}}}}}}}}}}} Darlin, those posts of yours are so funny!! Thank you for sharing them with us.

Hope your weekend has been going well!!!

Here is a little something from a friend of mine, to all my friends here.

A Friend....

(A)accepts you as you are
(B)elieves in "you"
(C)alls you just to say "HI"
(D)oesn't give up ! ! on you

(E)nvisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts)
(F)orgives your mistakes
(G)ives unconditionally
(H)elps you
(I)nvites you over

(J)ust "be" with you
(K)eeps you close at heart
(L)oves you for who you are
(M)akes a difference in your life

(N)ever Judges
(O)ffer support
(P)icks you up
(Q)uiets your fears
(R)aises your spirits

(S)ays nice things about you
(T)ells you the truth when you need to hear it
(U)nderstands you
(V)alues you

(W)alks beside you
(X)-plains thing you don't understand
(Y)ells when you won't listen and
(Z)aps you back to reality

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Kayte}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Your most welcome......And thanks for this post....It is really great to know that I have friends that care so much.....And words can not express how much gratitude I have for this post at this momeent in time.....

 

[xanathos]

Hello there sexy *hugs*

 

[MaryBears]

Hello there sexy *hugs*

Well hello sexy thang, *hugs and kisses as i rub my hands down your back to your ass*

 

[PassionsFlame]

((((((((((((((Passions)))))))))))))))))))))))) take care of yourself.....don't over do it.....Stop and smell the roses and have "me" time or you will suffer in the long run....all work and no play does not pay off in the end....I know done that been there

{{{{{{{{{{ Mary }}}}}}}}}}}} I am ... I put ice pack on my back today to cool down the inflammation.... I was not doig that at first.... but it helped some. trying to take care... I am learning how much I can pace right now, pushed a bit too much a few tiems, but things need to be done sometimes (though I did ask for help- yay for me), and when doing it is hard to predict how will feel the next day, when at the time thigns are tough, but not so bad, until the aftermath...

lol... I am enjoying the jokes very much and smile and laugh and everyhting works out in it's own time. I hope YOU are doing well and taking care... how is therapy going.. still to the pool?

I send everyone lots of **hugs**

 

[MaryBears]

LMAO.....OMG...only a man.....*sighs*


CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE BEER DRINKER

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel shamed.
Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and
all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out
of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is
better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be
selfish and worry about my liver."
~ Jack Handy
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the
morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. "
~Frank Sinatra
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Henny Youngman

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
~ Stephen Wright

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When
we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
~ Brian O'Rourke

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~ Benjamin Franklin

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is
beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but
the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
~ Dave Barry

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!!!
~ "Unknown"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Remember "I"! before "E", except in Budweiser.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a
can!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers.
One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his
buddy Norm. Here's how it went:

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move
as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the
slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural
selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health
of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest
members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as
fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know,
kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain
cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker
brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. ! That's
why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

 

[MaryBears]

{{{{{{{{{{ Mary }}}}}}}}}}}} I am ... I put ice pack on my back today to cool down the inflammation.... I was not doig that at first.... but it helped some. trying to take care... I am learning how much I can pace right now, pushed a bit too much a few tiems, but things need to be done sometimes (though I did ask for help- yay for me), and when doing it is hard to predict how will feel the next day, when at the time thigns are tough, but not so bad, until the aftermath...

lol... I am enjoying the jokes very much and smile and laugh and everyhting works out in it's own time. I hope YOU are doing well and taking care... how is therapy going.. still to the pool?

I send everyone lots of **hugs**

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Passions}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Glad to hear that your taking care of yourself.....I know from experience it is very very hard to ask for help when your use to being independent......I had/have the pride issue that I have had to deal with in the past three years.....And it is tough, but I have found better to ask for the help than to hurt yourself more......So I am happy that your asking for help.....We all need it at times....So keep taking care of yourself and asking for help when needed.....

Well, I am not in therapy anymore...but I am a member of the life center and I am taking a water dynamics (aerobics) class....It is mainly older people...I am the youngest most of the time.....But this week I am having to sit out because of the ingrown toe I had cut out....so I am just taking it easy right now until that heals....But I love the pool and the company....You can learn alot from the elderly and it gives to stength and courage to go on....

 

[MaryBears]

OMG.....LMAO


Butt Plug

 

[deepstar7]

I hope you all are having a good day, I love stopping by and catching up on all the great stuff people post here. Great thread.

 

[MaryBears]

I hope you all are having a good day, I love stopping by and catching up on all the great stuff people post here. Great thread.

Thank you Deep It is always good to have you and your sexy AV stop in for a visit.....Stop in any time

 

[kayte]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Kayte}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Your most welcome......And thanks for this post....It is really great to know that I have friends that care so much.....And words can not express how much gratitude I have for this post at this momeent in time.....

Good afternoon {{{{{{{{{{{Mary}}}}}}}}}} So glad anything I can do brings warmth and comfort to you sweetie.

 

[kayte]

Hello there sexy *hugs*

Hey there {{{{xanathos}}}} Long time no see!!!!

 

[kayte]

{{{{{{{{{{ Mary }}}}}}}}}}}} I am ... I put ice pack on my back today to cool down the inflammation.... I was not doig that at first.... but it helped some. trying to take care... I am learning how much I can pace right now, pushed a bit too much a few tiems, but things need to be done sometimes (though I did ask for help- yay for me), and when doing it is hard to predict how will feel the next day, when at the time thigns are tough, but not so bad, until the aftermath...

lol... I am enjoying the jokes very much and smile and laugh and everyhting works out in it's own time. I hope YOU are doing well and taking care... how is therapy going.. still to the pool?

I send everyone lots of **hugs**

{{{{{{{{{PF}}}}}}}}}} Nice to see you. Love that AV of yours.

Please take care. I too know how hard it is to just let things go when it is too much. When it can make me worse too.

So glad you come by here. I think Mary's place is so great. Always get a smile and a giggle and that can be some of the best healing.

 

[kayte]

LMAO.....OMG...only a man.....*sighs*


CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE BEER DRINKER

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel shamed.
Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and
all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out
of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is
better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be
selfish and worry about my liver."
~ Jack Handy
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the
morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. "
~Frank Sinatra
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Henny Youngman

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
~ Stephen Wright

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When
we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
~ Brian O'Rourke

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~ Benjamin Franklin

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is
beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but
the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
~ Dave Barry

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!!!
~ "Unknown"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Remember "I"! before "E", except in Budweiser.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a
can!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers.
One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his
buddy Norm. Here's how it went:

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move
as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the
slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural
selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health
of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest
members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as
fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know,
kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain
cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker
brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. ! That's
why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

Those are so great Mary!!! The last one is perfect!!!!

 

[MaryBears]

Good afternoon {{{{{{{{{{{Mary}}}}}}}}}} So glad anything I can do brings warmth and comfort to you sweetie.

{{{{{{{{{{Kayte}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} good to see you this cold evening....I do hope your staying warm and safe.....Take care of yourself...

 

[Puddin36]

Hello to all my friends here at the Den. Sorry I wasn't around this weekend, but it was my long weekend to work. I survived and now I am here to relax and have some fun!!! Hope each and every one of you had a super fantastic weekend. Loved all the stories and jokes. Laughter is definately the best medicine.






Warm Huggles to one and all...........Puddin

 

[MaryBears]

Hello to all my friends here at the Den. Sorry I wasn't around this weekend, but it was my long weekend to work. I survived and now I am here to relax and have some fun!!! Hope each and every one of you had a super fantastic weekend. Loved all the stories and jokes. Laughter is definately the best medicine.






Warm Huggles to one and all...........Puddin

{{{{{{{{{{{{Puddin}}}}}}}}}}} I do hope that your having a wonderful evening......Glad to see you back in here....Hope you leave a few jokes.....but most of all have fun....Laughter is definately the best medicine.....