Blue Dolphin
Back home again
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The Bears Den
- Thread starter MaryBears
- Start date
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catsr2wild
Taking it easy
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Here is some more Valentine humor
Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two prostitutes and take them to their separate hotel rooms. The first dwarf, however, is unable to get an erection.
His depression is made worse by the fact that, from the next room, he hears his little friend shouting out cries of, "Here I come again...ONE, TWO, THREE...UUH!" all night long.
In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first, "How did it go?"
The first mutters, "It was so embarrassing. I simply couldn't get an erection." The second dwarf shook his head. "You think that's embarrassing? I couldn't even get on the bed..."
Some days I'm just so good at being bad it scares me too....
Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two prostitutes and take them to their separate hotel rooms. The first dwarf, however, is unable to get an erection.
His depression is made worse by the fact that, from the next room, he hears his little friend shouting out cries of, "Here I come again...ONE, TWO, THREE...UUH!" all night long.
In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first, "How did it go?"
The first mutters, "It was so embarrassing. I simply couldn't get an erection." The second dwarf shook his head. "You think that's embarrassing? I couldn't even get on the bed..."
Some days I'm just so good at being bad it scares me too....Blue Dolphin
Back home again
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Re: Here is some more Valentine humor
http://www.sexyfunnycartoons.com/sexycartoons/sexycartoons2/01.jpg
http://www.sexyfunnycartoons.com/sexycartoons/sexycartoons2/01.jpg
catsr2wild
Taking it easy
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Blue must be having a great day thanks for the funnies
MaryBears
Literotica Guru
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Valentine Friends
This isn't full of mush and love
or lots of silly kisses
It's filled with just a happy thought
of simple Valentine wishes
It may not bring your flowers
or candy for a treat
It just brings lots of wishes
Because I think you're sweet
I'm sending it on today
A little card to you from me
And at the end you'll see a hug
Cause you're as special as can be !
This isn't full of mush and love
or lots of silly kisses
It's filled with just a happy thought
of simple Valentine wishes
It may not bring your flowers
or candy for a treat
It just brings lots of wishes
Because I think you're sweet
I'm sending it on today
A little card to you from me
And at the end you'll see a hug
Cause you're as special as can be !
FRENCHIE44T
Lover of oral sex
- Joined
- May 27, 2003
- Posts
- 16,625
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ MARY 
}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
FRENCHIE44T
Lover of oral sex
- Joined
- May 27, 2003
- Posts
- 16,625
MaryBears said:{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Frenchie
How you doing?
Are you having a good day?
FRENCHIE44T
Lover of oral sex
- Joined
- May 27, 2003
- Posts
- 16,625
MaryBears said:
REST IT !!!!!!!
YES, you showed me last night
FRENCHIE44T
Lover of oral sex
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- May 27, 2003
- Posts
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Shreik said:
Thanks Shreik, I would if I could find someone to share it with.
MaryBears
Literotica Guru
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- 23,590
Think you just have to be a mother to appreciate this..
While I think fathers will appreciate this as well, only a mother will
know the true emotion of this.
After 21 years of marriage,
I discovered a new way of keeping alive
the spark of love. A little while ago I started to go
out with another woman it was really my wife's idea.
“I know that you love her," she said one day, taking me by surprise.
”But I love YOU," I protested. “I know, but you also love her."
The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my mother,
who has been a widow for 19 years the demands of my work and my three
children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally. That night I called
to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie.
"What's wrong, are you okay?" she asked. My mother is the type
of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is
a sign of bad news.
"I thought that it would be nice to spend some
time with you," I responded. "Just the two of us?”
She thought about it for a moment, and then said,
"I would like that very much."
That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was
a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too,
seemed to be nervous about our "date."
She waited in the door with her coat on.
She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to
celebrate her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as
radiant as an angel's.
"I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they
were impressed," she said, as she got into the car. "They can't wait
to hear about our meeting."
We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very
nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady.
After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only read large print.
Half way through the entrées, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there
staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips.
"It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small,"
she said.
"Then it's time that you relax and let me return the
favor," I responded.
During the dinner we had an agreeable conversation nothing
extraordinary but catching up on recent events of each other's
life. We talked so much that we missed the movie. As we arrived at her
house later, she said, "I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you."
I agreed.
"How was your dinner date?" asked my wife when I got home.
"Very nice! Much more so than I could have imagined," I answered.
A few days later my mother died of a massive heart attack.
It happened so suddenly that I didn't have a chance to do anything for her.
Some time later I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant
receipt from the same place my mother and I had dined. An attached
note read: "Son, I paid this bill in advance. I was almost sure that I
couldn't be there but, nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you and
the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me.
I love you."
At that moment I understood the importance of saying, in time:
"I LOVE YOU" and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve.
Nothing in life is more important than your family. Give them the time they
deserve, because these things cannot be put off till "some other time."
Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after
you've had a baby ... somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother,
"Normal," is history.
Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct...somebody never
took a three-year-old shopping.
Somebody said being a mother is boring ... somebody never rode in
a car driven by a teenager with a driver's permit.
Somebody said if you're a "good" mother, your child will "turn out
good". Somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.
Somebody said "good" mothers never raise their voices ... somebody
never came out the back door just in time to see her child hit a golf
ball through the neighbor's kitchen window.
Somebody said you don't need an education to be a mother
Somebody never helped a fourth grader with his math.
Somebody said you can't love the fifth child as much as you love the first.
Somebody doesn't have five children.
Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her
child-rearing questions in the books ... somebody never had a child stuff
beans up his nose or in his ears.
Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor
and delivery…. somebody never watched her "baby" get on the bus for the first
day of kindergarten or on a plane headed for military "boot camp."
Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed
and one hand tied behind her back ... somebody never organized seven giggling
Brownies to sell cookies.
Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married.
Somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law
to mother's heartstrings.
Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home.
Somebody never had grandchildren.
Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don't
need to tell her... somebody isn't a mother.
Pass this along to all the "mothers" in your life.
While I think fathers will appreciate this as well, only a mother will
know the true emotion of this.
After 21 years of marriage,
I discovered a new way of keeping alive
the spark of love. A little while ago I started to go
out with another woman it was really my wife's idea.
“I know that you love her," she said one day, taking me by surprise.
”But I love YOU," I protested. “I know, but you also love her."
The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my mother,
who has been a widow for 19 years the demands of my work and my three
children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally. That night I called
to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie.
"What's wrong, are you okay?" she asked. My mother is the type
of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is
a sign of bad news.
"I thought that it would be nice to spend some
time with you," I responded. "Just the two of us?”
She thought about it for a moment, and then said,
"I would like that very much."
That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was
a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too,
seemed to be nervous about our "date."
She waited in the door with her coat on.
She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to
celebrate her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as
radiant as an angel's.
"I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they
were impressed," she said, as she got into the car. "They can't wait
to hear about our meeting."
We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very
nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady.
After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only read large print.
Half way through the entrées, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there
staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips.
"It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small,"
she said.
"Then it's time that you relax and let me return the
favor," I responded.
During the dinner we had an agreeable conversation nothing
extraordinary but catching up on recent events of each other's
life. We talked so much that we missed the movie. As we arrived at her
house later, she said, "I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you."
I agreed.
"How was your dinner date?" asked my wife when I got home.
"Very nice! Much more so than I could have imagined," I answered.
A few days later my mother died of a massive heart attack.
It happened so suddenly that I didn't have a chance to do anything for her.
Some time later I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant
receipt from the same place my mother and I had dined. An attached
note read: "Son, I paid this bill in advance. I was almost sure that I
couldn't be there but, nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you and
the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me.
I love you."
At that moment I understood the importance of saying, in time:
"I LOVE YOU" and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve.
Nothing in life is more important than your family. Give them the time they
deserve, because these things cannot be put off till "some other time."
Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after
you've had a baby ... somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother,
"Normal," is history.
Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct...somebody never
took a three-year-old shopping.
Somebody said being a mother is boring ... somebody never rode in
a car driven by a teenager with a driver's permit.
Somebody said if you're a "good" mother, your child will "turn out
good". Somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.
Somebody said "good" mothers never raise their voices ... somebody
never came out the back door just in time to see her child hit a golf
ball through the neighbor's kitchen window.
Somebody said you don't need an education to be a mother
Somebody never helped a fourth grader with his math.
Somebody said you can't love the fifth child as much as you love the first.
Somebody doesn't have five children.
Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her
child-rearing questions in the books ... somebody never had a child stuff
beans up his nose or in his ears.
Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor
and delivery…. somebody never watched her "baby" get on the bus for the first
day of kindergarten or on a plane headed for military "boot camp."
Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed
and one hand tied behind her back ... somebody never organized seven giggling
Brownies to sell cookies.
Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married.
Somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law
to mother's heartstrings.
Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home.
Somebody never had grandchildren.
Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don't
need to tell her... somebody isn't a mother.
Pass this along to all the "mothers" in your life.
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