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Machiavellix

Machiavellix

Return of the Mach
Joined
Aug 19, 2005
Posts
5,245
This thread may disappear into the bowels of Literotica hell, or it may rise and become a popular hang-out. That's all up to you, the reader. Stop by and chat with me. I'll have liquor and sex toys waiting along with daily musical guests. :D
 
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Sulk said:
What kinda sex toys?
Click to expand...

I have dildos of all kinds for the women, and pocket pussies for the guys. For the guys I have special booths for them to get their rocks off. I haven't quite gotten around to building booths for the women, though. For completely innocent reasons I assure you. :D
 
I want to get some dancers in here. I could use some suggestions.
Get me some celebrities I could put on stage.

Also, I could use some volunteers to strip. Any Lit ladies interested?
 
Machiavellix said:
Hey, anytime. That's what this thread is here for. To make you laugh. And maybe orgasm several times. :devil:
If your hungry I can have Chef whip up something for ya's.

http://www.bablakejs.co.uk/download/chef.gif

Anything else you need, just let me know beautiful.

*takes your hand and softly kisses it*
Click to expand...

Awww...thank you *blushes* :kiss: :rose:

I've just had breakfast but I'd love to have a song by Chef.
 
charmed1 said:
Awww...thank you *blushes* :kiss: :rose:

I've just had breakfast but I'd love to have a song by Chef.
Click to expand...

That can be arranged.

http://www.geocities.com/clarkanimations/SouthPark27-chef_sings_tn.jpg

Baby you know, you're the one for me
And all that I want to be is...

You and me... and her, simultaneous
You and me... and you and you, simultaneous
Simultaneous lovin' baby, two or three...
Simultaneous ooh, come on

Have an open mind, blow my trigger down
Gimme the last cold turkey blast, make it fast
Take my ass to town

Have an open mind, send my cares away
Ring my bell you fat piggy whale, what the hell Today's your lucky day

You and me... and her, simultaneous
You and me... and Wynona Rider, simultaneous
Simultaneous lovin' baby, two or three...
Simultaneous, ooh, come on

Have an open mind, is a normal thing to do
Don't be rude, just get nude
Oh, you're being rude, I would do it for you
Baby please have an open mind, you're the only one I love
These girls you see, baby they don't mean anything, let's all just get in the tub
You and me... and her too, simultaneous
You and me... and your momma and your sister
Simultaneous lovin' baby, two or three...
Simultaneous oww, come on

Everybody in the pool!

Have an open mind, don't be so mean to me
Call your sister and your mother and your aunt
It's every man's fantasy
Have an open... woa, baby, put that knife away
Don't be mad, I'll take you back, just relax, we can make love your way
I'm talking about

You and me... and some flowers and some wine, instantaneous
You and me... and Whitney Houston (on the radio, babe, on the radio)
Some candles and some good feelings
Just the two of us
Oh, fudge it
Now, I'm talking about

You and me... and her and her and her, simultaneous
You and me... and women in the house, simultaneous
Three and seven, make it a baker's dozen
See the ladies in the house clap your hands
Now that'd be a party, ladies
 
Machiavellix said:
That can be arranged.

http://lechnje.tripod.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/chef-2.gif

Baby you know, you're the one for me
And all that I want to be is...

You and me... and her, simultaneous
You and me... and you and you, simultaneous
Simultaneous lovin' baby, two or three...
Simultaneous ooh, come on

Have an open mind, blow my trigger down
Gimme the last cold turkey blast, make it fast
Take my ass to town

Have an open mind, send my cares away
Ring my bell you fat piggy whale, what the hell Today's your lucky day

You and me... and her, simultaneous
You and me... and Wynona Rider, simultaneous
Simultaneous lovin' baby, two or three...
Simultaneous, ooh, come on

Have an open mind, is a normal thing to do
Don't be rude, just get nude
Oh, you're being rude, I would do it for you
Baby please have an open mind, you're the only one I love
These girls you see, baby they don't mean anything, let's all just get in the tub
You and me... and her too, simultaneous
You and me... and your momma and your sister
Simultaneous lovin' baby, two or three...
Simultaneous oww, come on

Everybody in the pool!

Have an open mind, don't be so mean to me
Call your sister and your mother and your aunt
It's every man's fantasy
Have an open... woa, baby, put that knife away
Don't be mad, I'll take you back, just relax, we can make love your way
I'm talking about

You and me... and some flowers and some wine, instantaneous
You and me... and Whitney Houston (on the radio, babe, on the radio)
Some candles and some good feelings
Just the two of us
Oh, fudge it
Now, I'm talking about

You and me... and her and her and her, simultaneous
You and me... and women in the house, simultaneous
Three and seven, make it a baker's dozen
See the ladies in the house clap your hands
Now that'd be a party, ladies
Click to expand...
LMAO...
Perfect song to start my morning...Thanks. :D
 
charmed1 said:
LMAO...
Perfect song to start my morning...Thanks. :D
Click to expand...

Your welcome again. Your always welcome at Mach's.
Where everybody knows your name. Well, at least your Lit screen name. :D
 
Machiavellix said:
Your welcome again. Your always welcome at Mach's.
Where everybody knows your name. Well, at least your Lit screen name. :D
Click to expand...

Will everyone shout "Charmed!" when I enter the thread? :D
 
Well, I must leave now. However, feel free to hang out and raid my bar of booze at any time. And Chef will be sure to take care of you if your hungry or in need of advice.

Peace out, Lit Nation. :D
 
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Machiavellix said:
Just stopping in to say hi.

So hi.

Oh, and I brought donuts. :D
Click to expand...

Donuts or Doughnuts, and beer. What more could a guy want! :nana:

Oh, how about Jennifer Garner doing a pole dance?

Morning Mach, hope your well ;)
 
Pengy said:
Donuts or Doughnuts, and beer. What more could a guy want! :nana:

Oh, how about Jennifer Garner doing a pole dance?

Morning Mach, hope your well ;)
Click to expand...

[size=+3]Pengy!![/size]

Sounds like a plan. We might want to wait 'til she has her kid, though. Unless your into that kind of thing. :p
 
Machiavellix said:
[size=+3]Pengy!![/size]

Sounds like a plan. We might want to wait 'til she has her kid, though. Unless your into that kind of thing. :p
Click to expand...

lol....Definetly not into that kind of thing. We'll just have to wait then! :rolleyes:
 
Pengy said:
lol....Definetly not into that kind of thing. We'll just have to wait then! :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

Yeah, I'm thinking it'll probably drive away customers if her water breaks on stage. Not to mention the clean-up in the front row. Icchhh.....
Plus Ben Affleck might kick our asses.

Ha ha that was a good one. Like Affleck could kick anyone's ass. :rolleyes:

Sing us a song, Chef.
http://simplythebest1.com/simplythebest1/graphics/Animated_Gifs/Southpark/tn_Chef20Sings.jpg

You know Kathie Lee, you are a very special woman. I don't mean special in a Mary Tyler-Moore way... Or an extra-value
meal at Happy Burger way... no, I mean SPECIAL... Like... The song of the hummingbird as it gets ready to find that female
hummingbird, and -- make sweet love to it -- all night long. Just two hummingbirds moaning' and groanin' and letting their
bodies caress and touch each other in ecstasy... Slowly, the male hummingbird gets behind the female hummingbird, and eases
his way into her golden valley, gliding gently in and out, in and out, ooh, in and out. Two hummingbirds doin' it doggy style all
night long. Until finally the male hummingbird screams with passion and lets his little humming gravy fly all over the nest. And it
makes me wanna... it makes me wanna sing this special song for you, yeah, baby, yeah mama.

Ooh Kathie Lee, you're such a special woman to me,
How I'd love to lay you down
And lick every inch of your body
With my tongue
Kathie Lee, you're my sexual fantasy
How 'bout you and me?
Get it together and make sweet love...

'Cause nobody can take your place
No way they can match your face,
No, you got it goin' on in a way so clear
I just wanna buy you a beer

I thought maybe tonight at seven thirty or seven, I could come by and

Pick you up in my car
(No substitute) No substitute for you
(No substitute)
No baby there's (no substitute) for your girl
(No substitute) for you now

I know you love my body so much
It's something you can't help but touch, ooh
I might let you if you promise to be gentle,
Now I'm gettin' all sentimental

Maybe tonight after pickin' you up in my car we can park down over by the gas
station that closed two weeks ago and make love in the back seat and...

Drop you off at home
(No substitute) No substitute for you
(No substitute) No baby there's
(No substitute) Come on baby say it
(No substitute) For you now

Now you remember our two hummingbirds. Well after their night of passion, the male hummingbird couldn't sleep or eat. All he
could think about was that incredible night when things were flyin' all over the place and beaks were where they should be. So
he put his beak lips together and whistled a song. Calling that female hummingbird back for another night of fire. Just like I'm
calling out for you, baby. Hey, get your ass over here for some good lovin'.

There's only one word that can describe you,
You're a flippityfloppityhootchymamawoowoo
You've got everything I ever wanted
My metaphor's all been exhausted

So what say you and I forget about this singin' and songin' and act like a couple
of hummingbirds ourselves...
And get down to some business
(No substitute) No substitute for you
(No, no, no substitute)
No baby there's (no substitute) for you girl
(No substitute) for you girl (no substitute)
For you (no, no, no, no, no, no substitute)
For you girl

Ladies and gentlemen, the Fabulous Chefettes

(No) no (no) subs (subs) sti (tute) for (you)
Ba (by) no (no) no no no (no) for you yeah,
(No substitute) for you Kathie Lee, yeah
 
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People let's go. The Xhibit is going under. We need more customers. Stop by, put your feet up.

Before I break your legs!! Not really. :rolleyes:
 
Another bump. Open for business. Always open for business, really.

[size=+5]FREE LIQUOR[/size]
 
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