The Retaking of Aine OOC

[Qyron]

And the thingy goes BOOM and turns into a piece f expensive art deco. I like that point.

Well, for now I'm just interested in finishing the scene. But we've came up with a few decent opinions about the talarines and their equipments.

By the way, what's the image you have about talarines?
I haven't yet described one but I'll have to do it once Nayil gets face to face to the first one of them. I picture the talarines as having light grey-greenish skin, almost has if covered with dust, with pale straw yellow hair, scarce and bristly, without any other body hair.
The face would have a square jaw, with spaced in between teeth - crooked, preferably (bad breath is a plus) - with too-small-for-the-frame eyes, pale yellow.

I would also expect some kind of skin hardening on elbows, knees, neck base and somewhat across the chest and back. Around scars would make sense, too.

Care to share our vision?

 

[Jedi_Khan]

The Talarines are a warlike race of subhuman semi-mortals, with armour-plated skin and immense strength. Average size is approximately 215 cm (approximately 7 feet). Weight is typically around 180 kg (approximately 400 lbs). They lay eggs, usually five at a time, and are not quite mammalian. Their women have no breasts, though their general shape is that of a greatly deformed hominid. Their greatest strength is their sheer mass and powerful bodies, and their greatest weakness their nearly nonexistent intellect. They are able to speak, and think themselves quite clever, but always rule from physical strength rather than intellectual capability.

Work off of that. I tend to think of them as bipedal lizards, minus the tail.

 

[Wolfsister]

wow... sorry I was away guys. I came on yesterday but there was something buggy with the site and I couldn't reply to anything... urgh...

Anyway... I know for a fact that Talarines have a dark blueish blood. Closer to black than blue.

As for the cannons, I wasn't even aware that they had them. I was thinking that projectile weapons of an explosive kind weren't a technology we could have. Seige weapons and the like, yes. But cannons?

Anyway, seeing as Qyron has probably already done most of his post, we'll leave the cannons in. I think that they would be in the thousands. Probably two or three at the most. Production of them in such a large scale, no matter who made them, would have taken time and materials. They are large machines - waist high on a Talarine and as long as two of them tip to tail against each other. They are useful for one shot (so for the sake of arguement, they were taken from the kingdom they defeated before the Aine) They did not use any in taking Ain, so they have the full assortment left.

They are slow to move, heavy, about half a tonne each. Yes, the Talarines aren't smart enough to load them, however, they can aim pretty well. The whole 'point and shoot' thing is a pretty simple concept to understand.

Also, Talarines are as Jedi mentions, bipedal lizards. They do have a tail, are quite muscular, wear clothing of a sort and have small ringed scales. They are bigger than a human but have the scales of a small snake, so it looks much like skin. They are varied in colour. Underneath the scales (for scars, cuts etc) they are all dark bluish in colour. Their eyes can be different colours (just like humans)

Their facial features are like squashed lizards. They have a shorter snout, but a snout and jaws all the same. They have no external ears. Their tongues are forked and blue in colour. They have no hair. Their sizes and builds also vary. They can be rather bulky, yet at the same time another can be tall and wiry. Just the way they've used their bodies, that's all.

As I said, their scale colour varies, but will tend more the darker colours than the bright neon type. Like dark green, blue, purple, black some (though rare). There are a few white and deep yellows. Scales can be different colours (meaning Talarines can be multicoloured) and lighter colours are often iridescent.

They also have a point of pride and usually paint themselves. Its nothing elaborate, usually a swash of colour painted over their chest or the like. They love showing off what they are - because they know they are an unstoppable, powerful force. So usually the ones with the least clothes are the ones with the higher 'rank' if it can be called that.

The naked Talarine is the boss.

I'll address the weapons a little later, but mostly they move around with cudgels (mostly whatever they pick up), they can use bladed weapons, axes, swords, daggers and the like, however they don't really care for them properly. They understand the whetstone, but not enough to keep things sharp for longer than a few months and they abuse their blades by cutting wood with swords and stuff like that.

Heavier things - I'll think about.

 

[Jedi_Khan]

Well, that settles just about everything. Thanks Wolfsister.

 

[Wolfsister]

LOL, that sort of thing kinda goes under my job description right now, seeing as I'm the DM

 

[Qyron]

As for my sake, I'm back to the drawing board. Have a look at the description I had already concocted. As a bonus, I'll add a sneak-a-peek to the fight scene.

But no worries: I don't mind. I wasn't even satisfied with the result of the thing in its total.

Swift as a serpent, the athalan jumped from beneath the ruble and grabbed the warrior's arm, twisting it and making the bones crack beneath the muscle, ripping tendons, and rending the limb useless. The aberration let out a roar of pain, alerting the rest of the pack that had moved somewhere else into the village.
Plunging the knife into the beast's throat as he pulled its hair, the neck broke off the body and the giant threw the severed head onto the ground.

Nayil looked the pack leader in its yellow-greenish eyes as it caught the head in mid-air and threw it to the ground, crushing it beneath its dirty boot, staring back at Nayil. It was an ugly creature with pale gray-greenish skin, almost as tall as the giant, with scarce straw-yellow hair on the top of its skull; the arms and torso were covered in scars and all its limbs were thick as tree branches. The jaw was wide and protuberant, filled with sharp teethes, tainted yellow and purple, and a thick saliva oozing from a scared cracked like.

 

[Jedi_Khan]

By the looks of that example you posted, that is going to be one hell of a bloody battle.

So, how's it coming along?

 

[Qyron]

Bloody, as I intended, Jedi. It had been long since I had put together some decent-like writing and its hard work to make it as I want to.

I'm glad that short peek was enjoyable for you.

 

[Wolfsister]

Sweet, can't wait to read it!

 

[Jedi_Khan]

Good evening Wolfsister. How goes life?

 

[Wolfsister]

Pretty good for a change. I'm getting into the festive spirit I guess

 

[Jedi_Khan]

That's good to hear Wolfsister.

By the way, are we waiting on someone, like me, perhaps?

 

[Wolfsister]

Not really... But I'm going to post so... maybe then you can poke your head up again.

 

[Qyron]

Hi everybody.

I thought it would be polite from me to call in and give a "report" on my next work.

As you may already noticed, I am a very slow writer; I tend to be like so. Besides the usual lack of time, I tend to waste a lot of time trimming edges and destroying work because I simply don't like what I create.

This time, with all we have been discussing here since I started writing and the new inputs in the thread, I've re-written and reviewed the text at least half a dozen times, adding detail and nuance to the text and the character.

Wolfsister, I feel I must thank you for releasing Nayil from the crone, at least for the moment, although you've made me rebuild the beginning and ending of the post to fit it in the normal flow of the thread. Which was actually good, as it was an added challenge!

To all who is taking part of the thread: I'm trying my best to give you a good picture of what kind of man Nayil is. You'll see his warrior side - and in a very graphic way - but also conflicts that are inside him, moral and personal. I'm doing this as a personal challenge but also as a way to deepen the character and its race and give you all basis to work. With all of this, the least I expect is a critic review of my future post from each one of you guys!

Well, take care and have a nice holiday season if its the case for you. And be careful with the sweets...

Regards,

Q

 

[Wolfsister]

Thanks for the update Qyron. I'm looking forward to reading your work

If you'd like, I'll have a go at critiquing it. Just asking, would you like spelling, grammar, sentence structure type of stuff. Or just the general 'like/dislike' stuff?

 

[Jedi_Khan]

It seems that the only person I ever chat with here in the ORP is Wolfsister. Come on, somebody, please feel free to chat with me.

(I'm rather bored, in case you didn't notice. )

 

[Qyron]

Thanks for the update Qyron. I'm looking forward to reading your work

If you'd like, I'll have a go at critiquing it. Just asking, would you like spelling, grammar, sentence structure type of stuff. Or just the general 'like/dislike' stuff?

A good critic - specially when done to a foreign author - implies everything. Likes and dislikes an author can get from the readers; constructive critics he gets from his peers.

Jedi, what´s up?

P.S. - WS, I write in British English, so try to be easy with me on that. You´re from the kangaroo land, correct?

 

[Jedi_Khan]

Jedi, what´s up?

Not much, just bored out of my mind and loathing the final exams I have next week.

Anyways, how you doing Q?

(By the way, this conversation is going to have be carried out over a couple of days; no time left tonight to chat.)

 

[Qyron]

It seems we all have the same time issues, I believe.

 

[Wolfsister]

A good critic - specially when done to a foreign author - implies everything. Likes and dislikes an author can get from the readers; constructive critics he gets from his peers.

Jedi, what´s up?

P.S. - WS, I write in British English, so try to be easy with me on that. You´re from the kangaroo land, correct?

Sure, I'll do my best then.

And yes, I'm from the great Hopping Grounds. But tis all good, we pretty much use the same written language as the Mother Country. Things like the American's spelling with 'z' whereas we spell with 's' and the like. So don't worry too much about that.

 

[Qyron]

Good evening, WS. Paying the house a visit?

 

[PervySage]

Let me break the monotany

New character,

NAME:
Eshkar Smokebreeze
RACE:
Human
AGE:
24
GENDER:
Male
PROFESSION:
Fire Mage, Alchemist
STRENGTHS/ABILITIES:
--Knowledge of Physics
--Excellent Physical Conditioning
--Immunity to smoke, bad smells, dizziness
WEAKNESSES:
--Naive
--Worried
--Unsure of his own strengths
BACKGROUND & PERSONALITY:
Eshkar is from a mountain village located near a volcano. Due to the proximity of the volcano the majority of the population consists of fire mages. At a young age Eshkar was trained to draw power from the volcano. Years of training in its shadow have made him immune to smoke haze, and noxious fumes. The village elders sensed a build up of evil entities forcing there way up the volcano. This is the kind of energy caused by the ground being soaked in blood. Eshkar has been set out to find this tremendous source of violence and if possible put a stop to it. Being from a secluded village Eshkar has little experience with strangers. He is slow to ask for help, and will not see through lies as fast as others may. He has not yet had his “First Blood” ceremony. Only his adept abilities gives merit to sending him out. He is unsure of himself and hopes that upon returning to the village will he be worthy of the ceremony.

APPEARANCE:
--height: 6’1’’
--weight: around 195 lbs
--hair: Dark smoke gray hair styled in a way that mimics flames.
--eyes: A glowing crimson, they show a power stored deep inside.
--other: Dressed in a dragon hide traveling cloak, ruby arm bands.
WEAPONS:
-- Obsidian dagger
-- Metal wire(piano wire)
-- Channeling stone
-- Volcanic stones

 

[Jedi_Khan]

"Break the monotany"? And just what are you implying by that?

And I would hope that you've been in touch with Wolfsister about your character, or else it just might get rejected. And another thing: before you can post in the IC, Wolfsister has to give her approval. I get the sense from that "break the monotany" bit that you're going to post, or at least you're working on it.

But I do have a question: how did your character get immunity to dizziness?

 

[Wolfsister]

Jedi, everything's fine. I've taken care of it. Believe me - it wouldn't have even gone up on the OOC without my approval.

Like I said, Sage, just go ahead and post an entry. But I forgot to mention that Angelus's and Satindesire's characters are no longer with us, so don't go meeting them or anything.

Welcome to the thread, Sage.

 

[Wolfsister]

Good evening, WS. Paying the house a visit?

LOL, you probably just missed me

Anyway... hopefully we'll get things moving along in a bit. I know that Ren is away doing stuff at the moment, so tis all good. Hows the post coming along?