The SCOURIES reader – for both fans and serious scholars…

[scouries]

Scouries, please quit PMing me. I have absolutely no interesting in "co-writing" anything with you, least of all a stupid grampy-granddaughter RP fic. And no, you may not use any of my work in your POD anthology. You have enough fake sychophants wallowing around your imagination. Put your blow up doll's name on your stories and call it good. It's not like you're not a fraudster.

Before I deal with ace’s most recent outpouring of inanities I thought I’d respond to our ‘editor-in-chief’ and significant other of dixieclee.

Mainly because our pretty little muffin has a very sexy avatar.

And then there’s the whole PM thing. I’ve been told more than once (by cloudy, theConformist and even by our mudfin herself) that it is against every known LITEROTICA law to quote PM’s in the forums.

In fact our B.A. in English has been holier than thou in her pronouncements on the subject. Which is a pretty good indication that this presently writer-blocked writer in her post is referring to an imaginary PM.

Has she been dreaming of big Jim? Is that it? As she’s lain in the arms of Dixie has she really been imagining herself in my arms? Are these fictional PM’s actually a good sign? A sign that she’s slowing recovering from her six year long blockage.

Can the vast LITEROTICA reading audience expect a new story from an unplugged muffin?

I can see it now – an almost sure best seller:

[size=+2]Dreaming of Scouries by killermuffin a LOVING WIVES story
sexy milf's marriage rearended by famous southbeach raconteur[/SIZE]​

[size=+2]james r scouries esq.
Multiple A.I.R. AWARD winner[/size]

 

[scouries]

Hey! One more thing while you’re here. Since you’re “Editor-in-Chief” around here maybe you could shed some light on the [size=+2]E​

question.

LITEROTICA FAQ: “The yellow E's denote "Editor's Choice" stories.”

Does the above mean that you are the person who awards E’S? Are these awards based on readers voting? Is there a minimum number of votes required?

Is it you alone or does dixie somehow get involved too.

Or is there a committee that chooses them? If there is a committee I wonder if you would care to name the members?

Is ace involved in any way in the selection process? Has he awarded E’s to any other author’s stories. To you for example. Have you ever PM’d ace?

Has any author ever paid to receive an E. Did the money go to the palace or to the “Editor’s Education Fund”?

I think all LITEROTICA authors would be interested in the process – transparency is so important when deciding legitimacy. Don’t you agree?
[/SIZE]​

​

[size=+2]james r scouries esq.
Multiple A.I.R. AWARD winner[/size]

 

[TxRad]

Don't you mean:

[SIZE=+4]Welcome to ScouriesFantasyWorld[/SIZE]

 

[Darkniciad]

MOST VOTED on story on LITEROTICA

This has to be one of scouries most laughable and obvious absurdities. Simply claiming twenty-five THOUSAND votes on a single story is enough in and of itself to make you wonder how even he can bring himself to say it with a 'straight face', but let's dig a little deeper.

That's three times more than the (real) highest vote getter, who has been here longer, has a larger, more varied stable of stories, has multiple blue Ws and green Es to go along with the full complement of Hs, is higher on the favorites toplist, has a story with almost a million more views than the one scouries has spent the last few years making a career out of clicking thousands of times a day, appears frequently on the all-time most-read toplist, appears frequently on several all-time scoring toplists...

I could go on, but I know that I had anyone with the slightest shred of sanity rolling on the floor at "25,000".

Look through the other actual top vote-getters, and you'll see the same patterns. They consistently produce stories that gain huge vote totals, soaring view counts, high scores, contest wins...

Very few things speak more of the fiction that is scouries world than this one absurd, obviously false claim ( though his imaginary royalties from a site that's constantly "cheating him" runs neck and neck on that scale )

 

[scouries]

Praise The Lord! It's Up...

...or in this case Praise the QUEEN . and "BABYSITTING" is back in the title...


Emma's Summer Babysitting Job
by scouries©

http://www.us.sleeping-out.com/ftp/Pictures/258-D-7541.jpg
emma at the grotto?


Hi, this story is my official entry in the 2010 LITEROTICA Summer Lovin' Contest. It's also vying for a prize in the ASSOCIATION of INDEPENDENT READERS contest that runs concurrently.

It's your votes, the votes of readers around the world that will decide the contest winners -- please, after you've read the story, take the few extra seconds required to place your vote.

The sexual encounters described in this story involve only people who are 18 years old and over. Although fictionalized it is based on a true story.

Mid July 2009 Couries Village, Hopkins Island, Massachusetts...​

[size=+2]james r scouries esq.[/size]
Multiple A.I.R. AWARD winner, MILLION SELLER,
Author of the MOST COMMENTED on
and the MOST VOTED on story on LITEROTICA

 

[TxRad]

There is no such thing as the AIR Awards or the 1000+ Vote Club or the 100+ Comment Club. These are all figments of Scouries imagination, made up by him, for him and his ego. Just another part of ScouriesFantasyWorld where Scouries ego is king.

His motto is, If you can't win a real contest or make a real Literotica list, make up your own. Only an oversizes ego would brag about winning a contest multiple times that he and he alone controls and then he has to use a fudge factor to make it work.

 

[Seduc1ove]

Just wanted you to know I read your contest entry and really enjoyed it. I left a comment and voted as well.

 

[sr71plt]

This is too delicious to pass up--you showing once again how far out in la la land you are and how heavily you are capable of stepping on your crank in unresearched misstatements.

I have green Es in five categories here (Erotic Couplings, Gay Male, How to, Lesbian, and Loving Wives) (With 10 green Es thus far in total)

(Hey, I have an idea. Name one other author here with green Es in categories that divergent. I'll give you a hint, it isn't you or any of your alts.)

And you have how many in the one category (Incest) you write in? (Shall we all go look? )

Moving along with your inanities, both my profile and and sig line lead to over sixty AUTHORED and published titles in erotica alone.

And you have published what? Where? (No, I didn't think so. )



Anyone other than you, apparently.



Happily, impressing you isn't on my agenda. You're a parody of a bad joke--and at least very good at that--if not much of anything else.

Excuse me, but I didn't see your response to this posting, Scouries.

I do love opportunities to help you show how bumptuous and stupid you are. Obviously you weren't thinking when you painted yourself into this corner. But the publicity for my stories and books is great. Thanks.

 

[scouries]

Just wanted you to know I read your contest entry and really enjoyed it.

Thank you my dear ! It’s nice to see a post from an intelligent and discerning reader for a change.

I also read and enjoyed your story – certainly deserving of all the acclaim it has been getting. Good luck in the contest,

jim

has ace now fallen so far that all he has left is quoting his own posts?

 

[sr71plt]

But, Scouries, what about your response to the post above that?

Poor, baby, you're not having a good week on your thread at all, are you?

 

[michchick98]

But, Scouries, what about your response to the post above that?

Poor, baby, you're not having a good week on your thread at all, are you?

Aww, come on, he's still having fun showing the world he can copy and paste a photo link in messages. You don't expect his pea-brain to process more than one thing at a time, do you?

By the way scouries, I offered you up for a human sacrifice over at the GB. They're awaiting your arrival.

You can thank me later.

 

[michchick98]

From the Summer Lovin' Thread:

You see freddie, you have the same problem as i! You have too much talent. Award winning author one second, brilliant songwriter and musician the next. It’s almost a curse to be so blessed.

This is so laughable. Again, who has heard of either one of you outside Liteoritca? Yeah, there's a great achievement, famous on a FREE PORN site.

My plan now is simply to write all day tomorrow and wherever the story is at eleven p.m. I’m just going to write THE END and submit it and forget it.

Or I may just type three dots . . . and leave it hanging.

Oh, please, take as long as you need to finish it. Perhaps maybe by the next Summer Lovin' Contest it'll be ready. You can have the first entry. Maybe by then your writing will have improved and you might actually win or place.

And you've already entered one story. Based on the rules of your made up contest, you'd be disqualified.

Maybe by then you'll actually learn to properly quote a message, too.

Oh never mind, none of that will happen.

Then wrrite a note: mr scouries was eaten by a shark before finishing this his last story. I, gabby L, his secretary and mother of his children, decided to submit this unfinished work to honor his lifetime devotion to LAUREL and all his friends at LITEROTICA…

Can't really be devoted to someone when you continually accuse her of cheating, now can you?

And when you put that note in there and submit it, make sure you sign into the Grand_High_Poohbah ID. After all, you wouldn't want people to think you and Gabby are the same person, right?

Oh never mind, people already do.

Or then again I might…

You might what? Finally admit that you're a two bit hack writer on a FREE PORN site?

Oh never mind, everyone already knows that's what you are.

Multiple A.I.R. AWARD winner, MILLION SELLER,
Author of the MOST COMMENTED on
and the MOST VOTED on story on LITEROTICA

Whoope-dee-fucking-doo!

How proud you must be to be at the top of not one, but THREE lists you had to make up yourself, just so you could be at the top of something. I mean after all, can't tout on and on about your greatness otherwise, right?

How's that real world publishing coming along for you scouries?

Oh never mind, already know the answer to that one.

 

[sr71plt]

This is too delicious to pass up--you showing once again how far out in la la land you are and how heavily you are capable of stepping on your crank in unresearched misstatements.

I have green Es in five categories here (Erotic Couplings, Gay Male, How to, Lesbian, and Loving Wives) (With 10 green Es thus far in total)

(Hey, I have an idea. Name one other author here with green Es in categories that divergent. I'll give you a hint, it isn't you or any of your alts.)

And you have how many in the one category (Incest) you write in? (Shall we all go look? )

Moving along with your inanities, both my profile and and sig line lead to over sixty AUTHORED and published titles in erotica alone.

And you have published what? Where? (No, I didn't think so. )



Anyone other than you, apparently.



Happily, impressing you isn't on my agenda. You're a parody of a bad joke--and at least very good at that--if not much of anything else.

Ahem, Scouries. In case you have forgotten, you haven't come up with a response to this revelation of your sad research skills yet. The egg's getting pretty hard on your face.

 

[Darkniciad]

I trust we won't have any of your usual screed about "Posting a abominally long story that nobody wants to read at the last minute" this time around?

Then again, hypocrisy is one of your many salient character traits.

 

[Darkniciad]

In the end I made an executive decision. Publish it. Then erase all traces of it from my computer. In a month or two I’ll remove it from LIT when no ones looking. A SEVEN PAGE STORY??? Who reads 7 page stories. I'm afraid the vote totals on this one are going to be ugly!

So, you entered a story that you rushed, and expect that nobody will read into the contest as a second entry, fully intending to delete it at a future date.

Indeed, your hypocrisy knows no bounds.

 

[scouries]

Bwah! I'm aroused. Wasn't it you who said no one should ever be allowed to enter such tomes? LOL …I think it was actually 11:57 when I finally "submitted"...

Bwah??? Like in great white Bwahna? Me bwahna jim, you jane? I’m glad you finally took the plunge …you’ve been dying to submit for years…

http://assets.huluim.com/shows/key_art_call_me_bwana.jpg

Yes my dear, it certainly was I who said that.

One of my many unheeded suggestions…

And seeing you asked, here are a few more suggestions I’ve made - things like:

-More specific themes (Summer Lovin’ for crying out loud)
-Rotating and/or changing themes from year to year (Nude Day ran its course years ago)
-Limit on entries an author can make (22 is idiotic)
-Raising vote thresholds (to a minimum of 100 to start)
-Prohibit Sci-Fi stories
-Insist that the voting and comments buttons must be turned on
-Category specific contests from time to time
-Word limit restrictions sometimes (2-4000 words one time, 5-8,000 another etc.)
-An active rejection of stories that don’t meet minimum theme requirements
-The banning of darkboy from all contests until 2015
-Vote transparency – sweep away the sweeps
-Rename that disgusting Non Human category Bestiality so that our innocent readers are forewarned
-Have a maximum age for contributing authors (I think 60 would be a good cut off point)
-Adopt the A.I.R. system of awarding prizes (most votes, views, comments, highest rating, best story)
-Appoint a contest moderator who will address and answer complaints and suggestions publicly
-Insist on minimum erotic content
-Charge a token amount (perhaps $10) for every contest entry
-Identify ALT entrants by tying the story to all LIT names the contributor uses
-Give a course on what constitutes a chaptered story, a serial story, etc.(perhaps the Jayman can give it)

And that’s just for a start… you should hear me when I get going…​

[size=+2]james r scouries esq.[/size]
Multiple A.I.R. AWARD winner, MILLION SELLER,
Author of the MOST COMMENTED on
and the MOST VOTED on story on LITEROTICA

 

[Darkniciad]

-The banning of darkboy from all contests until 2015

You know, having you continue to foam at the mouth months later because I won a contest is worth far more than the prize money, or even the pretty blue W.

I'm sure you'll be happy to know that Kindred of the Wood is holding steady in the top 10, and certainly would be a contender were it not ineligible to win, as it's only .06 away from the top spot. It's also maintaining a 1.45 to 1.65 vote per view ratio, which is especially heartening. That means that a larger than average percentage of the people who click my story are encouraged to cast a vote after enjoying it.

Doing quite well at the other place as well. Holding 6th place on the top scores for the month list, and pulling in about a 13% vote per download. Wonder how yours is doing... Ouch. 5.91 out of 10 and 5%. Sorry I brought it up.

I might just have some ideas for the Halloween and Winter Holiday contests, following new members of Xantina's ever-expanding family in their quest to find love and preserve the precious pockets of undisturbed nature, ever threatened by encroaching civilization.

 

[Guest]

(96 hrs) Emma's Summer Babysitting Job Married woman is mesmerized by the guy she used to babysit.
4.50 465 61242 Loving Wives (English) 09/08/10
Public Comments: 13


Emma's Summer Babysitting Job
by scouries©

http://www.us.sleeping-out.com/ftp/Pictures/258-D-7541.jpg
emma at the grotto?


(48 hrs) “We’ll Do Your Mom First,” I said Two virgins decide to seduce their moms
4.68 746 108701 Incest/Taboo (English) 09/10/10
Public Comments: 23


“We’ll Do Your Mom First,” I said
by scouries©

http://www.thedailygreen.com/cm/thedailygreen/images/jn/pregnant-happy-grass-lg.jpg
boys will be boys…

The LOVING WIVES story is at 4.50! Which is almost unheard of in that category for the boss. He’ll be happier with that one than he will be with the 4.68 for the INCEST one.

I feel a big sweep coming. A very BIG SWEEP. Her highness seems to go through cycles – a couple of contests will have vicious sweeps but then be followed by much milder ones. And we’re coming off a couple of relatively mild ones…

The boss is still away (and not very happy with yesterdays loss). He drove from Columbus to Buffalo after the game. If the Dolphins lose this aft I’m going to take next week off. I might anyway – the big problem with him putting out two stories just days apart is all the added correspondence. As of this a.m. I have 62 e-mails, 36 comments and 136 items of activity to address. Iind you we love our correspondants. ​

Gabby
President, A.I.R.
Miami Beach, Florida

 

[TxRad]

Grand_High_Poobah is Scouries in a blow up doll suit, one of his many alts.

 

[scouries]

Thank god I’m home!!!

You do not want to spend a weekend in Columbus, Ohio and/or Buffalo, New York! And OSU’s stupid nickname was explained after watching the Buckteeth cheerleaders in action…. Pitiful.

http://s3.amazonaws.com/bk_store/images/photo_object/photos/3/3/3304583/ugly-girl-feed.jpg
head cheerleader o.s.u. buckteeth

Look, Jacory Harris is a nice guy but he’s just got to get his act together – four interceptions just doesn’t do it.

The Dolphins saved the weekend. They weren’t outstanding but a victory is a victory…​

​

http://cosmicdolphins.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/dolphinmoves1.gif ​

[size=+2]james r scouries esq.[/size]
Multiple A.I.R. AWARD winner, MILLION SELLER,
Author of the MOST COMMENTED on
and the MOST VOTED on story on LITEROTICA

 

[scouries]

I want to thank the gabster for updating my contest figures while I was gone. Here are the latest. Thank you one and all...

Emma's Summer Babysitting Job
by scouries©

http://www.us.sleeping-out.com/ftp/Pictures/258-D-7541.jpg
emma at the grotto?

(120 hrs) Emma's Summer Babysitting Job Married woman is mesmerized by the guy she used to babysit.
4.51 496 64588 Loving Wives (English) 09/08/10
Public Comments: 13


“We’ll Do Your Mom First,” I said
by scouries©

http://www.thedailygreen.com/cm/thedailygreen/images/jn/pregnant-happy-grass-lg.jpg
boys will be boys…

(72 hrs) “We’ll Do Your Mom First,” I said Two virgins decide to seduce their moms
4.68 844 121931 Incest/Taboo (English) 09/10/10
Public Comments: 24​

[size=+2]james r scouries esq.[/size]
Multiple A.I.R. AWARD winner, MILLION SELLER,
Author of the MOST COMMENTED on
and the MOST VOTED on story on LITEROTICA

 

[scouries]

I was talking to another couple of LITEROTICA authors at the game Saturday and while tossing around some ideas somebody suggested this:WE SEED THE AUTHORS! Like they do in the N.C.A.A. b-ball tourney. Or in tennis tournaments. Why not?

The “Contest Committee” (scouriesworld could help here) would look at the various important LITEROTICA rating systems – MOST FAVORITE, MOST VIEWS, HIGHEST RATED, 1000+ VOTE CLUB, 100+ COMMENT CLUB, A.I.R. AWARDS, etc…

Then they’d rank the top 100 LITEROTICA authors. Then, once they’d received the contest entries they’d announce 16 contest seeds, seeds that would go to the 16 authors with the highest ranking numbers among the contestants. These 16 would go immediately to the main draw.

Meanwhile everyone else would then have to go through a qualifying round to determine the other 16 entries for the main draw of the contest (one story max per author).

http://tapperass.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/bracket.jpg

I think this would ensure a much higher quality of contest stories for our readers.

Meanwhile it would also give our younger and less experienced confreres a place to hone their skills (the qualifying rounds) without clogging up the main contest.

I think it’s an idea that just might work. It could well turn out to be a win (site)-win (authors)-win (readers) situation.

[size=+2]james r scouries esq.[/size]
Multiple A.I.R. AWARD winner, MILLION SELLER,
Author of the MOST COMMENTED on
and the MOST VOTED on story on LITEROTICA

 

[TxRad]

None of the crap posted above by Scouries is real, it's all part of scouriesfantasyworld.

There are no such things as the MOST VIEWS, 1000+ VOTE CLUB, 100+ COMMENT CLUB, A.I.R. AWARDS.

Literotica does have a top 250 favorites list and contests and awards are won by the highest rating.

The only reason scouries is interested in changing things is because he can't win an honest contest on Literotica. With all his boosting about being number one at everything, he just can't back it up. His idea is to change things so he can win.

Bottom line, it's all about scouries ego. If he spend half as much time on improving his writing as he does on crap like this, he might just win one day.

 

[michchick98]

I was talking to another couple of LITEROTICA authors at the game Saturday

So, you were talking to yourself, huh? Figures.

The “Contest Committee” (scouriesworld could help here) would look at the various important LITEROTICA rating systems – MOST FAVORITE, MOST VIEWS, HIGHEST RATED, 1000+ VOTE CLUB, 100+ COMMENT CLUB, A.I.R. AWARDS, etc…

Then they’d rank the top 100 LITEROTICA authors. Then, once they’d received the contest entries they’d announce 16 contest seeds, seeds that would go to the 16 authors with the highest ranking numbers among the contestants. These 16 would go immediately to the main draw.

Meanwhile everyone else would then have to go through a qualifying round to determine the other 16 entries for the main draw of the contest (one story max per author).

You can narrow it down to you and someone else and you'd still lose. But as I've said before, you're all about fairness, right? So why only the top 100 authors? Shouldn't everyone have an equal shot? Oh wait, that would narrow down your chances of winning even more.

I think this would ensure a much higher quality of contest stories for our readers.

Not if you entered.

Meanwhile it would also give our younger and less experienced confreres a place to hone their skills (the qualifying rounds) without clogging up the main contest.

Why do you consider it clogging up the contest? Because you can't win one? Every author should be able to enter, regardless of how long he or she has been writing. You're just angry because new authors are kicking your ass in the contest.

I think it’s an idea that just might work. It could well turn out to be a win (site)-win (authors)-win (readers) situation.

Of course you think it would work. You think anything that would benefit you would work. Got news for ya, sunshine, mediocre writing is mediocre writing, regardless of how many (or how few) authors enter a contest. If you can't get the SCORES (not votes, comments, views or anything else), then you can't win. I don't care if you get 100,000 votes. If you don't have the SCORES, you won't win. What part of that does your pea-brain keep failing to realize?

[size=+2]james r scouries esq.[/size]
Multiple A.I.R. AWARD winner, MILLION SELLER,
Author of the MOST COMMENTED on
and the MOST VOTED on story on LITEROTICA

All three lists made up by you and NOT backed or sanctioned in any way at all by Literotica. Only because you can't get on the top of a REAL Literotica list.

Oh and by the way, how's the voting on the Readers' Choice going for you there, scouries? Where are your millions of adoring fans to vote for you?

 

[Guest]

here's a comment tthat came in today on one of jim's stories:

While your story was stimulating, I think you could have had Becky and Rod sexing earlier in the story or even had him do the uppity girl from Alabama...