The Un-Isolated Un-Blurt Thread

[TwinkleStars]

I once heard tale of a Druid
who sold vials of a magical fluid;
the mystical bunk
was made of his spunk
and he fled town as soon they knew it!

 

[TwinkleStars]

There was a young girl of Cape Cod
Who thought babies were fashioned by God,
But ’twas not the Almighty
Who hiked up her nightie –
‘Twas Roger, the lodger, by God!

 

[TwinkleStars]

An insomniac young fellow named Hatches
Took a room in a whorehouse in Natchez
He still tossed and turned
half the night, but he learned
How to manage by sleeping in snatches.

 

[Noor]

Hugs Twink

 

[TwinkleStars]

Hugs Twink

Thank you.

 

[butters]

you didn't get evicted. that's a big win.

maybe not call her a bitch and a whore again, no matter how in the right you were. deep breaths, keep calm and carry on

 

[TwinkleStars]

Blegh.

 

[DarToon]

Big hug to you if you need one. ....
And a thank you for this thread. Enjoyed it.

 

[TwinkleStars]

There once was a man from madras
Whose balls were made of brass
In stormy weather
They clang together
And sparks fly out of his ass!

 

[TwinkleStars]

An elderly man called Keith,
Mislaid his set of false teeth.
They'd been laid on a chair,
He'd forgot they were there,
Sat down, and was bitten beneath.

 

[TwinkleStars]

What's the difference between kinky and perverted?
Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather,
perverted is when you use the whole bird.

 

[TwinkleStars]

There once was a sailor named Bates
Who was dancing the mambo on skates.
He fell on his cutlass,
Which rendered him nutless
And practically useless on dates.

 

[TwinkleStars]

$42 dollars for an ID card???? And I lost it on the same day I got it.

What is the Universe trying to tell me now??????

 

[TwinkleStars]

Sleep is missing me....

 

[TwinkleStars]

I finally got sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[TwinkleStars]

I was going to finally get laid after so long. Goddess made sure I was safe and said "No, no. It's not safe so I'm going to make sure you stay home tonight."
She was right. Blessed be.

 

[TwinkleStars]

Finally getting some good sleep!!! Yippeee!!!

 

[TwinkleStars]

Why can't I find someone who wants intimacy???? I'm not asking nor do I want a relationship. I just want some closeness. Whether it's for one night, short or long term. Doesn't anyone out there know that you can be close with someone without it being a serious relationship?
Where have all the grown ups gone?

 

[thør]

I'd give you a hug if you weren't so far away.

 

[TwinkleStars]

I'd give you a hug if you weren't so far away.

Awww, you are so sweet. Thank you.

 

[TwinkleStars]

Santa came home with a reindeer
And Mrs Claus said with a sneer
‘Did you have to bring
That horny old thing?’
Rudolph said, ‘Madam, he lives here.’​

 

[TwinkleStars]

Santa’s little helper felt poorly sick
Couldn’t deliver presents for Saint Nick
His red nose was gleaming
Blue eyes they were streaming
I hope that Santa will give him some Vick​

 

[TwinkleStars]

Just found out that my dear friend and neighbor passed away on Sunday due to liver damage.

Patti, I miss you. Now you can rest and have no more pain.

 

[TwinkleStars]

My dog is really quite hip,
Except when he takes a cold dip.
He looks like a fool,
When he jumps in the pool,
And reminds me of a sinking ship.

 

[TwinkleStars]

A painter, who lived in Great Britain,
Interrupted two girls with their knitting,
He said, with a sigh,
"That park bench, well I,
Just painted it, right where you're sitting."