The unappreciated limerick

[Biggalute]

This has earned you a read. I'll start with "A Surprising Summer."

Thank you, I hope you enjoy it

 

[yowser]

A lovely young wench from Schenectady
Regarded her ass as synecdoche,
With my prick out in front,
She said 'better than a cunt!'
And proffered her rectum right up to me.

 

[EmilyMiller]

I try hard to be a good miss
But my weakness is giving a twist
In skirts that aren’t long
With no panties on
Then wondering what can be amiss?

 

[EmilyMiller]

I must say I have a dilemma
‘Bout who I love more Lil’ or Emma
The angel no more?
The cute demon whore?
It’s hard to choose which of them, huh?

- If the allusions are eluding you, answers are here.

 

[SimonDoom]

The sign said "No Nudes!" in the quad.
But Jessica said, "Oh my God!
"How beastly and rude,
"To deny me, full nude!"
Now the campus delights in her bod.

 

[Bamagan]

I must say I have a dilemma
‘Bout who I love more Lil’ or Emma
The angel no more?
The cute demon whore?
It’s hard to choose which of them, huh?

- If the allusions are eluding you, answers are here.

That sounds like a commercial. Try to be a little more subtle next time, like this one:

 

[EmilyMiller]

That sounds like a commercial. Try to be a little more subtle next time, like this one:

My full name is Emily Subtle Miller.

Em

 

[Bamagan]

My full name is Emily Subtle Miller.

Em

Anagrams of which include:
Smelly Trillium Bee
Musty Lime Libeller
Truly Lilies Emblem
Silly Ileum Tremble
Miserly Mullet Bile
Beryllium Tie Smell
Sublimely Relit Elm

 

[Trionyx]

My full name is Emily Subtle Miller.

Em

She is like a ten acre puddle,
Or a two hundred person cuddle.
When they ask you who,
The last thing to do,
Is to claim our Emily’s subtle.

 

[Blueskiessmiling]

She waited for Santa that night
But her chimney was much too tight
When he came through the door
She dropped to the floor
And gave him a midnight delight.

 

[stickygirl]

A pedant of English would say
I know my straight from your gay
You know that it's writ
There's she, him or it
Their pronouns are not them or they!

 

[AlinaX]

There once was a villainous thread
That made this here author see red
I tried to explain
But the effort was vain
Ah fuck it, I'm going to bed

 

[Bamagan]

I've long thought the whole human race
Is a bit more than just a disgrace
They're bilious and hateful
Warlike and ungrateful
A dumpster fire obtrusive from space

 

[Tio_Narratore]

An old one that I used to tease an asymmetric friend with:

There was a young woman from Nizes
Whose breasts were of two different sizes;
One was so small,
It was nothing at all,
But the other was large and won prizes.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Anagrams of which include:
Smelly Trillium Bee
Musty Lime Libeller
Truly Lilies Emblem
Silly Ileum Tremble
Miserly Mullet Bile
Beryllium Tie Smell
Sublimely Relit Elm

Silly Ileum Tremble works from a depth training POV.

Em

 

[Smuttyandfun]

There was a young lady from France
Who loved letting men in her pants
When asked, is it free?
She'd giggle, oui oui
And let them commence with their dance

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

I write of debauch and lust
because I can, or maybe I must
Tales of trans women
oft filled with semen
and a few summarily trussed

 

[SimonDoom]

There was a perverted old gramps
Who collected ladies' underpants.
"Sure it's perverse!
He said, "It could be worse!"
"It beats a collection of stamps."

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

There was a perverted old gramps
Who collected ladies' underpants.
"Sure it's perverse!
He said, "It could be worse!"
"It beats a collection of stamps."

Of old men and panties you write
the trope to some may be trite
but oh, slip them on
all sensibility is gone
I swear, enjoy it you might

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

When limericks doth fall out of vogue
step up, be brave, go rogue
revive the old art
scribble your part
and post with a hint of a brogue

 

[SimonDoom]

The limerick's back--who'd a thunk?
For years it had been in a funk.
And though I'm no poet,
My poor skill, I will show it,
'Though the rhymes sound much better when drunk.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

The limerick's back--who'd a thunk?
For years it had been in a funk.
And though I'm no poet,
My poor skill, I will show it,
'Though the rhymes sound much better when drunk.

Love it...

 

[yowser]

There was a furry young wench fond of cricket
With a groin an impenetrable thicket,
Its appeal had such an extent
She invited the local team based in Kent
To all put their tongues straight up her wicket.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

There was a petite blonde with blue eyes
whose allure was hard to disguise
come to me, she said wryly
bring your toys, she was smiling
and I'll teach you the knots and the ties

 

[ronde]

A couple more in keeping with the season.

Mrs. Claus didn’t know what to do.
In September the baby was due.
Santa said with a shout,
“I always pulled out.
So tell me, which elf did you screw.”

On Christmas Eve bedtime came quick
I asked, “Can I give it a lick?”
She said with a giggle
“One just makes me wiggle.
But a few hundred might do the trick.”