The unappreciated limerick

[SimonDoom]

Men behave badly, it's said.
Their conduct can make one see red.
But I thought that I'd mention,
Oft, the sexual tension's
'Cause Wanda's hijacking the thread.

 

[EmilyMiller]

I left my high school long ago
And you’d think that my body would grow
But I am kinda slim
And still can fit in
To my uniform to give you a show

 

[samhasstories]

I left my high school long ago
And you'd think that my body would grow
And boy did it ever
And now I endeavor
To occasionally glimpse my toes

(apologies @EmilyMiller, just had to give yours a counterpoint)

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Men behave badly, it's said.
Their conduct can make one see red.
But I thought that I'd mention,
Oft, the sexual tension's
'Cause Wanda's hijacking the thread.

Sure, men behave badly, that's true
But some of us 'ladies' do too
Look under my dress
Not trying to impress
but, I'll have a surprise for you

 

[Blueskiessmiling]

Her personality is sunny
Whether she’s in or out of the money
She’s ever so sweet
And never effete
And draws guys like bees to honey.

 

[AlinaX]

A pair of sweet strawberry pickers
Were renowned as labia lickers
In the field one bright day
They got carried away
And both ended up with no panties

 

[Bamagan]

A pair of sweet strawberry pickers
Were renowned as labia lickers
In the field one bright day
They got carried away
And both ended up with no panties

The lack of knickers is jarring, haha!

 

[12oclocktales]

There was a young fellow named Krider,
Who dated a girl just to ride her.
She allowed him to feel
From her neck to her heel,
But never would let him inside her.

 

[12oclocktales]

How about one in Spanish:

Habia una joven modesta
Qui antes se protegia con protesta.
Pero ahora confiesa
Que la picha tiesa
Es la cosa lo menos molesta.


Loose Translation (very loose, in fact, hardly even close):


There was a young girl very innocent
Who barred her sweet pussy from every gent.
But now she admits
That a prick that just fits
Is sublime and she ought to be tolerant.

 

[GirlFur]

I left my high school long ago
And you’d think that my body would grow
But I am kinda slim
And still can fit in
To my uniform to give you a show

Grrrr

 

[yowser]

A Londoner lass was well-furred
At the beach her bikini incurred
Alarm at the dark sprouts poking out
From fabric edges leaving no doubt
To the nature her quim quite referred.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

She wrote...

It's favorite limericks you need
I think I'm up to the deed
If this one is there
I can't say I care
22 pages is too much to read

and stole...

A myopic tree surgeon named Lee
Caught and agile young wench in a tree
Said she, shift your whopper
you myopic limb lopper
that's a moss covered knothole not me

 

[ParkerSteve66]

Not a four line limerick, but a two line marching ditty from my time in the Army during the 1960's.

There was a girl from Kansas City,
She had a mole on her left Titty.

Or, maybe it was:

I've got a gal in Kansas City,
She's got a mole on her left Titty.

She's not from Kansas City, but she does have a mole on her left Titty: https://es.xhamster.com/videos/rita-faltoyano-anal-fuck-1095578

 

[AlinaX]

Now gather and hear this old ditty
'Bout a woman from Kansas City
And the young man whose dream
Was to spurt all his cream
'Cross the mole that graced her left titty

 

[Bamagan]

There once was a lady hirsute
Who braided her pubes to look cute
She got a complaint
About hairs in her taint
And agreed, "They're far too minute!"

 

[Smuttyandfun]

There once was a man named Jock,
Who had an extremely long cock,
He wrapped it around his tummy and down,
Through his trousers and into his sock.

 

[12oclocktales]

The Crack-Up

There once was a gal from Attibabbica
Who wrote stories by the doz on Literotica.
“You’re just wasting your time,”
Friends and lovers would chime,
“All it’s doing is making you neurotica.”

“What care I for my health and my sanity,
All I crave is to produce more obscenity.”
So she wrote like a demon
About blowjobs and semen
Till it ended in a tragic calamity.

“Two hundred words in and not yet did I come,”
Was her reader’s comment, not caring a crumb.
“If you were only a bit slicker
I know I’d come quicker,
You need to try harder and get off of your bum.”

Her eyes turned to fire, her thoughts clear and unhazy,
“What’s wrong with these fools, do they think I’m just lazy?”
Her rants sounded for blocks,
Until in ran the docs,
She’s resting fine now, though border-line crazy.

 

[Zootonius]

The ladies broke out their best rye
Then snuggled with a laugh and a sigh
They enjoyed little sips
As glasses met lips
Until a finger discovered a thigh

 

[Blueskiessmiling]

A cute young woman from Blenheim
Was needy most all of the time
I showed her I cared
With no effort spared
Neglect would have been a true crime.

 

[Bamagan]

There once was a lady from Brest,
Whose bosoms were some of the best
Many sang ditties
Composed for her titties
Or otherwise lauded her chest

 

[Blueskiessmiling]

A girl from down in Key West
Was proud of her generous chest
The men would all stare
In the salty sea air
While she flaunted her personal best.

 

[SimonDoom]

Janey's legs were regarded as awesome.
With lotion she'd shine and she'd gloss 'em.
But when she sat down
She'd shock the whole town
When she conveniently chose not to cross 'em.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

When writing erotic fiction
take care with commas and diction
if Walken and Shatner
your prose follow after
I doubt in my heart your conviction

 

[Biggalute]

A girl I know keeps her pussy tight
To keep her marriage prospects looking bright
Her ass is a different matter
Up that you can splatter
She likes it up there every night

 

[AsianFusion]

There was a young poetry fan
Whose limericks didn't scan
When asked why
She said with a sigh
It's because I always try to fit as many words into the last line as I possibly can