Things I should do but you should not.

[ABSTRUSE]

No, Abs. Anyone can steer their tanker aground.

You want to steer it aground while drinking gin from the bottle. Where's your panache?

---Zoot

Thank you Zoot. I can believe I committed such a faux pas. I hang my head in shame and I'm cancelling my date with Ted Kennedy.

 

[Guest]

I'm cancelling my date with Ted Kennedy.

That's what I missed lots, being cracked up by Abby. P.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

That's what I missed lots, being cracked up by Abby. P.

I've added 20% extra smart ass from when I last talked to you.

 

[cheerful_deviant]

I've added 20% extra smart ass from when I last talked to you.

But she's still the same low, low price.

 

[R. Richard]

Very nice. Tango with a Terrapin? P.

I could possibly be persuaded to waltz with a wallaby.

 

[Honey123]

In the next mafia movie I watch "You're gonna be swimmin' with the fishes" will take on a whole new meaning..

 

[ABSTRUSE]

But she's still the same low, low price.

 

[cheerful_deviant]

 

[shereads]

There's lots of these.

I should be allowed to build my home on a pristine beach. I'll videotape the sunsets and send them to you.

Maybe we can trade vacation houses sometime. I want to build a house on an otherwise undeveloped mountain in the Rockies, which will unfortunately make the structure visible from every point in the valley, but my view will be amazing. Plus: no annoying neighbors! I'll have to learn to shoot, I guess. Bears and mountain lions have little respect for private property and I don't want them to hurt my dog.

I should be allowed to use a jet-ski too.

Snowmobile. Ditto. Stay away from my place in your noise machine, pal. There's room on my mountain for my snowmobile, my guests' snowmobiles, and the little sled I use to tow the dog.

 

[shereads]

http://img1.imagevenue.com/loc72/905_Untitled_12aaaaaaa.jpg

Look at him leap! They really do seem to love performing, don't they?

 

[shereads]

That was your spotted owl? Oops, sorry. He was delicious with plum sauce.

Tasted a lot like a Condor.

I hope it was ranch-raised condor. Free-range condors have a wierd, game-y taste from all the road-kill they eat. Ranch-raised ones taste like chicken.

 

[Lisa Denton]

Look at him leap! They really do seem to love performing, don't they?

I think his name is Flipper and he is trying to give you a kiss.

 

[shereads]

Reminds me of some years ago when a man was arrested for sexually assaulting a realtively well-known human-friendly dolphin in Dingle Bay.

Sexual assault at Dingle Bay?



You made that up.

The Time article about suburban sprawl may not have made its point well, Clydesdale, but some of those those yuppies really do want to screw up the quality of life others are already enjoying. Witness my relatives who moved to a Walled Enclave of Golf Estates.

One of the things that drew them to the area was the sleepy, authentic little beach town nearby with all its quaint charm and atmosphere and a couple of funky old seafood restaurants... Six months later, when the little town was petitioning to stop a Target Store from being built on their tree-shaded little main street (which would have to be four-laned to accommodate all the shoppers from nearby resorts) my relative thought they were being terribly selfish.

She whined, "Why should I have to drive all the way to Hilton Head to shop at Target?"

Six years later, there's no more quaint little town, but there is a massive SuperTarget Store. No more funky little seafood place where a bucket of steamed blue crabs used to cost $7.95 with all the corn-on-the-cob and hushpuppies you could eat. But there's a shiny new Red Lobster chain seafood restaurant, a Taco Bell and 2 Starbucks.

For the rich people living behind walls and security gates in the resort communities, life is a lot more convenient. There's no downside for them, because their neighborhoods are buffered from the noise and traffic by nature preserves, wetlands and the ocean. Nobody can drive inside the gates without permission. It's a good life. You don't have to drive all the way to Hilton Head to shop at Target anymore - but you have to drive about an hour to find a seafood restaurant that's not part of a chain.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Sexual assault in Dingle Bay?



You made that up.

The Time article about suburban sprawl may not have made its point well, Clyesdale, but some of those those yuppies really do want to screw up the quality of life others are already enjoying. Witness my relatives who moved to a Walled Enclave of Golf Estates.

One of the things that drew them to the area was the sleepy, authentic little beach town nearby with all its quaint charm and atmosphere and a couple of funky old seafood restaurants... Six months later, when the little town was petitioning to stop a Target Store from being built on their tree-shaded little main street (which would have to be four-laned to accommodate all the shoppers from nearby resorts) my relative thought they were being terribly selfish.

She whined, "Why should I have to drive all the way to Hilton Head to shop at Target?"

Six years later, there's no more quaint little town, but there is a massive SuperTarget Store. No more funky little seafood place where a bucket of steamed blue crabs used to cost $7.95 with all the corn-on-the-cob and hushpuppies you could eat. But there's a shiny new Red Lobster chain seafood restaurant, a Taco Bell and 2 Starbucks.

For the rich people living behind walls and security gates in the resort communities, life is a lot more convenient. There's no downside for them, because their neighborhoods are buffered from the noise and traffic by nature preserves, wetlands and the ocean. Nobody can drive inside the gates without permission. It's a good life. You don't have to drive all the way to Hilton Head to shop at Target anymore - but you have to drive about an hour to find a seafood restaurant that's not part of a chain.

That is truly sad.

Ever notice that Starbucks are the remoras that cling to Targets?

 

[~photoguy~]

Sexual assault at Dingle Bay?



..... Six years later, there's no more quaint little town, but there is a massive SuperTarget Store. No more funky little seafood place where a bucket of steamed blue crabs used to cost $7.95 with all the corn-on-the-cob and hushpuppies you could eat. ....

I always thought that "hushpuppies" were crappy, ugly shoes sold at Payless and worn by old men ???


that sukks about ur relatives, Shere ... grrrr

 

[BlackShanglan]

So, basically, Shereads - you can live in the quaint little village with the seafood restaraunts, but not them?

Shanglan

 

[oggbashan]

Six years later, there's no more quaint little town, but there is a massive SuperTarget Store. No more funky little seafood place where a bucket of steamed blue crabs used to cost $7.95 with all the corn-on-the-cob and hushpuppies you could eat. But there's a shiny new Red Lobster chain seafood restaurant, a Taco Bell and 2 Starbucks...

They should move to Frinton in Essex, UK.

Only after a considerable fight was a Fish and Chip shop opened in the town. There are no ice cream shops, stalls or vans; no tacky souvenir shops, no one sells buckets and spades.

You can sit in your beach hut looking at the cold North Sea while sipping your Earl Grey Tea. You won't see a windsurfer or a jetski. You might see a frozen blue person swimming but that is the height of the excitement.

Frinton property values are high.

Og

PS. If you want everything that Frinton doesn't have, Southend isn't far away.

 

[SeaCat]

Sexual assault at Dingle Bay?



You made that up.

The Time article about suburban sprawl may not have made its point well, Clydesdale, but some of those those yuppies really do want to screw up the quality of life others are already enjoying. Witness my relatives who moved to a Walled Enclave of Golf Estates.

One of the things that drew them to the area was the sleepy, authentic little beach town nearby with all its quaint charm and atmosphere and a couple of funky old seafood restaurants... Six months later, when the little town was petitioning to stop a Target Store from being built on their tree-shaded little main street (which would have to be four-laned to accommodate all the shoppers from nearby resorts) my relative thought they were being terribly selfish.

She whined, "Why should I have to drive all the way to Hilton Head to shop at Target?"

Six years later, there's no more quaint little town, but there is a massive SuperTarget Store. No more funky little seafood place where a bucket of steamed blue crabs used to cost $7.95 with all the corn-on-the-cob and hushpuppies you could eat. But there's a shiny new Red Lobster chain seafood restaurant, a Taco Bell and 2 Starbucks.

For the rich people living behind walls and security gates in the resort communities, life is a lot more convenient. There's no downside for them, because their neighborhoods are buffered from the noise and traffic by nature preserves, wetlands and the ocean. Nobody can drive inside the gates without permission. It's a good life. You don't have to drive all the way to Hilton Head to shop at Target anymore - but you have to drive about an hour to find a seafood restaurant that's not part of a chain.

Are you sure this was Hilton Head and not Cape Cod? Oh wait, Cape Cod doesn't have a suerTarget yet. They do have everything else except affordable housing. (Yes they still have the Kennedies, and they can keep them.)

Cat

 

[cantdog]

I actually swam with three spinner dolphins off the big island. They let me play with the baby, because the baby wanted to play. While I and the baby were taking turns swimming beneath one another, the two larger ones came in very close (in case I tried something untoward, I daresay). When it was over, it was really over fast. Those mothers can move out. They just vanished. I guess what must have happened was, they swam with me, until I got boring.

 

[shereads]

I always thought that "hushpuppies" were crappy, ugly shoes sold at Payless and worn by old men ???

I said you got all you could eat. I didn't say they were pretty.

 

[shereads]

I actually swam with three spinner dolphins off the big island. They let me play with the baby, because the baby wanted to play. While I and the baby were taking turns swimming beneath one another, the two larger ones came in very close (in case I tried something untoward, I daresay). When it was over, it was really over fast. Those mothers can move out. They just vanished. I guess what must have happened was, they swam with me, until I got boring.

That was voluntary on their part, right? That is the coolest thing. It's amazing that they're curious about us, being from such different social strata and all. I suspect they get some of our television programming and pop up now and then to see if we're really that dangerous.

 

[shereads]

They should move to Frinton in Essex, UK.

Only after a considerable fight was a Fish and Chip shop opened in the town. There are no ice cream shops, stalls or vans; no tacky souvenir shops, no one sells buckets and spades.

You can sit in your beach hut looking at the cold North Sea while sipping your Earl Grey Tea. You won't see a windsurfer or a jetski. You might see a frozen blue person swimming but that is the height of the excitement.

Frinton property values are high.

In the States, we have a Frinton called Santa Barbara. Gorgeous little oceanside city with flowers everywhere, an antique carousel near the beach, and the most rarely applied legal concept in America: a zero-growth policy. My agency has a client there who's been trying for 8 years to get a permit to build some time share condos, but unless he can cook up the math that "proves" his development won't bring more cars into Santa Barbara, not even his wealth can buy him a break. Why? Because there are people in Santa Barbara who helped screw up Los Angeles with thoughtless development, electing civic leaders for whom the words "zero growth" were anathema. When they could afford to escape from what they'd helped create, they made a world guaranteed to protect them from the people they used to be.

If you're rich enough, you don't ever have to see a billboard or anything garish in America. My relative thinks environmental activists are the Red Scourge, but he was shrewd enough to move into a community surrounded on all sides by protected public wetlands and forests.

 

[cantdog]

And they suffer so. It is admirable, though, the way multimillionaires bear up beneath the disadvantages of their wealth.

 

[shereads]

So, basically, Shereads - you can live in the quaint little village with the seafood restaraunts, but not them?

Shanglan

"A dog is a relative you get to choose for yourself." ~ unknown author

 

[cantdog]

Live there? Heavens, no. You want to know it's there, eat the crab, breathe the air, and go home.

For one thing, the insular bastards would never accept you unless you lived there until you were a hundred fifty years old, outliving the last of those for whom you were a newcomer from outside.

Especially with Walled Fortress Of Golf Estates looming next door.