Things you NEVER want to hear while having sex

[loquere]

I'm evicting you

 

[loquere]

You're fired.

 

[loquere]

Fist me bitch, use my blood as lube.

 

[LupusDei]

This is... um, interesting. I think I need to collect samples.

 

[loquere]

The ememy is near, battle stations, red alert!

 

[Enchantment_of_Nyx]

Did you remember to take out the trash?

 

[loquere]

Your haircut is making me soft.

 

[loquere]

May I shave you with my steak knife?

 

[UsuallyPresent]

*the sound of being shaven with a steak knife*

 

[UsuallyPresent]

*the sound of being shaven with a butter knife*

 

[UsuallyPresent]

*the sound of being shaven with a spoon*

"Why a spoon, cousin?"

"Because it's dull, you twit, it'll hurt more!"

 

[JerseyJade]

"You so remind me of my sister."

 

[loquere]

"You so remind me of my sister."

Me or UsuallyPresent?

 

[loquere]

Due to a failure to make payments on this residence, the banks is formally requesting that you get the fuck out of their fucking house right the fuck now!

 

[JerseyJade]

Me or UsuallyPresent?

Um, neither. This thread is, "Things you NEVER want to hear while having sex." Has nothing to do with anyone on here.

 

[loquere]

That's not my name asshole, so get your fucking dick out of my asshole, asshole!

 

[Enchantment_of_Nyx]

Don't look behind you.

 

[loquere]

Don't look behind you.

Nice one

 

[loquere]

Help!

 

[Knightmare27]

"positive" is good, right?

 

[loquere]

"positive" is good, right?

Not for a Dominatrix.

 

[JerseyJade]

"Stop! I hate getting my dick sucked!"

 

[beachguyinflorida]

I forgot to tell you

 

[loquere]

I forgot to tell you

What, what do I need to know?

 

[loquere]

Shh, death is all around us.