Things you NEVER want to hear while having sex

[loquere]

Give your soul to me, your one and true master Satan.

 

[Enchantment_of_Nyx]

Where's the kaboom? I didn't hear any earth-shaking kaboom!

Ha! I love Marvin.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

Will you come to my 18th birthday party tomorrow?

 

[Enchantment_of_Nyx]

How do you feel about having kids?

 

[johnnieblue44]

How do you feel about having kids?

Uh oh.

 

[JerseyJade]

Let's make this quick. The game starts in 5 minutes.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

How do you feel about having kids?

They're great, with just a pinch of paprika....

 

[Enchantment_of_Nyx]

They're great, with just a pinch of paprika....

Reminds me of Wednesday Addams wanting to know if the girl scout cookies were made with real girl scouts.

 

[loquere]

Suck my blood covered dick.

 

[Javahead]

Reminds me of Wednesday Addams wanting to know if the girl scout cookies were made with real girl scouts.

“But they don’t taste anything like Girl Scouts!”

On topic:

“Don’t worry - antibiotics usually clear it up right away!”

 

[UsuallyPresent]

“Don’t worry - antibiotics usually clear it up right away!”

"Nah, they ain’t released the cure yet."

 

[loquere]

Breaking news, be on the lookout for this woman who bites the dick off her sex partners.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

You know, loquere is gonna quote you on that in the "Things you NEVER want to hear" thread.

 

[loquere]

You know, loquere is gonna quote you on that in the "Things you NEVER want to hear" thread.

You're assuming I have listening devices in bedrooms all across the world (Smart TV's). I'm no spymaster! Plus that'd be perverted.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

You're assuming I have listening devices in bedrooms all across the world (Smart TV's). I'm no spymaster! Plus that'd be perverted.

EXXXACTLY! Ding ding ding ding, the man wins a prize!

Oh, yeah, that'd be a shocker to hear during sex, too, wouldin't it?

 

[loquere]

Death to America!

 

[loquere]

Fuck my ass, a bunch of random strangers from this morning already lubed it up for you with their seed.

 

[Staghorn97]

You're in the wrong one.

 

[loquere]

I forgot to douche, I hope you don't mind a little diarrhea.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

MMmmmm, yeah, you taste JUST like your mom.

 

[loquere]

End scene.

 

[loquere]

The stock markets crashed, all your money is gone.

 

[loquere]

Is that just a very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very VERY tiny penis or a big clit?

 

[loquere]

What's happening here, who are you and where am I?

 

[loquere]

Drink my bloody crimson seed!